Monday, December 4, 2023

These People Think Santa Should Be Gender Neutral And Carry An iPhone

Following the footsteps of KFC and McDonalds, some people want Santa to be more gender inclusive. Like the heroic companies aforementioned (one converted the Colonel into a woman and the other swapped their “M” logo to a “W” for an entire day), a small group of progressives now wants Santa to be able to represent 51-percent of the world’s population.

The survey, conducted by GraphicSprings, asked people what would the modern Santa look like and how would he be rebranded for today’s audiences. The final results depict a guy who ditched the old boring Santa clothes and is now a total hipster, complete with tattoos and skinny jeans.

The new Santa would also have an iPhone, a beanie, and an Amazon Prime subscription, because reindeer are no longer required when there’s a service that brings you presents on demand. In this instance, Santa would travel from home to home on a hoverboard? Are those even used anymore.

Twenty-seven percent of respondents also claimed that they’d like the new Santa to be a woman or to at least be gender neutral, which is sweet. Most voters thought it’d be cooler if Santa just rocked a white goatee instead, because Santa as a woman requires an excess of mental gymnastics.

The survey answers were provided by 400 participants between the ages of 18 and 25. Over 4,000 people in the U.K. and U.S. were consulted when devising these suggestions.


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