Most people choose to spend the holidays with their partners, especially when the relationship becomes serious and you’re deeply involved in each other’s lives. Still, there are some couples who choose to spend the holidays apart, with their respective families, parents, and grandparents.
Matt Lundquist, a psychotherapist and couples therapist, explains to Refinery 29 that while this decision is okay and up to the couple, the reasoning behind spending the holidays separately is worth analysis. He believes that some people consider the holidays as a time to spend with immediate family, not with the family that you’re planning to create. He also claims that some people don’t consider the holidays to be a big deal, and that they don’t mind being alone with their families.
The holidays are traditionally seen as a time when you can share traditions with your partner, strengthening the relationship. Lundquist explains that these memorable dates are moments that you’ll both be looking forward to — getting together with family and friends, and enhancing the intimacy between you.
The most important part about deciding to spend the holidays apart is understanding why you’re doing it and then figuring out the best way to explain it to your friends and family, developing the necessary patience to listen to their criticism or their innocent questions over a practice that’s still out of the norm.