In a nightmarish confluence of events, a New Jersey Transit train derailed on the holiest of New York baseball fans’ observances: Opening Day for the Mets.
An equally perfect coincidence occurred when an NBC 4 camera crew collided with rabid Mets fan Frank Fleming. The train derailment, which caused several mild injured and countless spikes in blood pressure, was ruining his plan to meet the Mets. This baseball fan has no chill.
An enraged combination of George Costanza and an air horn, Frank is decked out head-to-toe in Mets swag, from the hat to to the t-shirt and lanyard. His boxers are probably blue and orange, but we cannot confirm this. He runs the blog SportsEcyclopedia.com and has only ever missed one opening day in the past 19 years.
“New Jersey Transit is the ABSOLUTE WORST,” he screams into the void of Penn Station, his fitted cap jostling down over his eyes:
It took Frank five hours instead of the usual two to get from his home in Belleville, New Jersey, to Citi Field. He missed the opening ceremonies, which he lamented in a later interview with NBC 4:
“I’ve always done the pomp and circumstance of opening day, where you get to see the wreath come out, the Shea family comes out, you get to see the first pitch. I didn’t see the first pitch. I don’t even know who threw out the first pitch. I didn’t get to see the national anthem. I didn’t get to cheer Cespedes when they introduced him. I didn’t get to cheer Bortolo Colon’s return”
His only consolation, he said, was that the Mets won the game. “If they would have lost, that would have been just the cherry on top.”
Frank, everyone who’s ever had a shitty commute stands with you.
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