Let us preface this tale with a two-word declaration: Accidents happen. Honestly and truly, they do. Remember that time the 53-year old Omahan accidentally ate four weed brownies from his car as he unloaded groceries, and then proceeded to vigorously diss the family cat? Or that time a Portland woman stole a Subaru that was identical to the one she was supposed to borrow, but then later returned it with a sincere note and $30 in gas money? These are accidents.
We now present you with Redditor Dreamblook whose mother mistakenly used his “high quality cannabutter” to make a chicken dinner for the family, because she thought it was vegan butter. Dreamblook had about 45 minutes before the effects kicked in and so what did he decide to do? He took the situation to Reddit.
Now before all hell breaks loose, Dreamblook takes us through his thoughts. On the one hand, he writes, “Guys I know I can just come clean and tell them. I will if it gets to the point where they are freaking out or something.” He adds, “I’m trying very hard to avoid them ever having to know.”
Users on the Reddit thread suggested he record the whole thing. You know the principle: if you didn’t record it did it really happen. Unfortunately, Dreamblook shuts that down because he doesn’t believe in embarrassing his family and he does believe in Karma.
After dinner, mom started to get suspicious. Dreamblook writes, “My mother just asked me if there was anything wrong with my vegan butter. I decided to tell her it was really old, so they will all just think they have food poisoning or something.” Smart move, right?
Then he breaks down the entire family’s behavior: Sister is asleep; dad is in a trance “with a smile on his face”; mom is going “apeshit” and wants to go to the hospital and Uncle appears to be fine and is trying to calm down mom. Dreamblook notes that if they were to go to the hospital, they’d have to call an ambulance because no one can drive since they ate that baked chicken, pun all the way intended.
Then, the cannabutter culprit starts to notice that his uncle is unbelievably unaffected by the chicken. “He laughs his ass off every time he looks at me. I think he knows.” Yeah, dude, he definitely knows.
But wait, there’s more.
Uncle apparently knew what it was but didn’t want to say anything until everyone finished eating. The dad also knows now because the uncle told him what was up. All three of the men, including Dreamblook agreed that telling mom what she really ate was a terrible idea. (At this point mom has thrown up and is in bed having an existential crisis, still thinking she has food poisoning).
Now you’re probably wondering why he wouldn’t just tell his mom that she had a little (a lot) of THC and that she will be fine, right? Well, according to Dreamblook his mom has never had any kind of drug including coffee, cigarettes and alcohol and she would be destroyed if she found out that she consumed the “devil’s lettuce.”
Meanwhile, his sister has locked herself in her room and no one seems to be concerned because she does this quite often. They’ve all assumed she’s just sleeping it off.
Finally, Dreamblook goes to sleep and this story goes from 0-200 really quick. His sister wakes up and feels like she’s dying so she calls the medics, who in turn call the police. The uncle takes the fall for the entire ordeal and is arrested on felony possession because they live in Arizona, and well, it’s very illegal. Dreamblook says his parents kicked him out the house as soon as the EMT and PD left, and provided an update from a gas station down the road.
Now we don’t know where Dreamblook is now, but he does offer some sound advice “Please let this be a cautionary [tale] to NEVER have your drugs in the family fridge.”
No kidding!
