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Man Nearly Pulls Off The Boldest Gold Heist Ever

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When you’re working at the Royal Canadian Mint employee, it’s probably hard not to wonder what would happen if you dropped a few gold nuggets into your pocket on the way to clocking out.

Or, in this former employee’s case, wondering what would fit up which orifice and make it past a metal detector unnoticed.  

Leston Lawrence took a total of 22 gold pucks, worth $165,000, and laundered 18 of those, worth $138,000, from the Royal Mint while working there. How did he pull off the heist? Let’s just say authorities found plastic gloves and Vaseline jelly in his work locker.

He transported the pucks, which are the size of “a small muffin” with the circumference of a silver dollar, through the building’s security gates and past a guard with a wand. In watching the footage posted on CBC, you can tell he’s walking a little funny — and doesn’t bend at all to put on his shoes after the screening. For good reason.

The metal detector went off when he walked through it, but when he was passed over with a wand, nothing happened. Turns out, those wands are really bad at finding what’s hiding in a body cavity. He likely thought he had a pretty good game going, repeating this process 22 times over four months.

The prosecution for this case deserves a gold… um… star: Kelly Egan, a reporter for the Ottawa Star, said in an interview:

There was testimony from the security people that they had actually tested this on a human being. And that when that person went through the metal detector, it went off. But when the person was given the secondary wand test, it didn’t go off. So to them this was further evidence that indeed this could very well have been the method by which these “pucks” had left the Mint.

Lawrence has been found guilty of possession of property obtained by crime, conveying gold out of the mint, and breach of trust by a public official, the CBC reports, and will go to sentencing on November 28.  

Just for shits and giggles, it’s worth noting the judge’s name for this case: Judge Peter Doody.

Need To Smile? Watch This John Lewis Ad With Animals On Trampolines

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All of us need a smile these days. So thank goodness for the folks over at John Lewis, who have released their holiday advert featuring trampoline-hopping squirrels, foxes, and a very happy dog.

Is it early for a Christmas cheer commercial? Sure, but considering the circumstances, it’s a forgivable offense.

When John Lewis released the commercial, the hashtag #BusterTheBoxer trended. But Buster’s real name is Biff, a five-year-old boxer who lives with two fellow boxers in Bedfordshire, England. According to BBC, his favorite dish is baked tuna cake, food only a dog could love.

Now if you’re an old-school consumer of internet culture, you might recognize the concept: a dog, tongue wagging all around, jumping up and down. That’s because it’s an old viral YouTube hit from 2007, featuring Chago, “The Trampline Dog.” (Unfortunately the user disabled embedding so click through on the link to check it.)

According to YouTube comments from the uploader, Chago sadly passed away this year. But at least his memory and spirit lives on through the John Lewis commercial.

Chago isn’t the only IRL animal who enjoys jumping on the trampoline. Another YouTube user uploaded a video of two wild foxes bouncing around, playing, and biting at one another. Apparently one summer in Colorado, the wild animals just appeared and decided to have some fun.


Let this serve as a reminder: Great ideas that go mainstream have their inception on the internet.

The most essential daily news, entertainment, pop culture, and culture coverage. Want more? Check out “Wasp Swarms And Poop: WTF Is Going On In This Little UK Town?” “Donald Glover’s ‘Atlanta’ Obscures The Line Between The Real and Surreal,” and “Election 2016 Opt-Ed: A Clear Victory For Cannabis

Watch Luc Besson’s Newest Sci-Fi Head Trip in the Making

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The official teaser trailer for Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets is out today, and wow, is there a lot to unpack here. Will Luc Besson’s latest gift to the world of science fiction be The Fifth Element for 2017? Let’s take a look.

La Femme Nikita, Lucy and the Taken films are some of Besson’s most memorable works, but The Fifth Element is considered his cult film classic. The French director took a stab at American science fiction, and while it’s at times convoluted, complex, noisy, and makes little sense, he pretty much nailed it. Nearly 20 years later, it holds up.

Let’s take a look at the plot synopsis for Thousand Planets:

Valerian (Dane DeHaan) and Laureline (Cara Delevingne) are special operatives for the government of the human territories charged with maintaining order throughout the universe.

Under directive from their Commander (Clive Owen), Valerian and Laureline embark on a mission to the breathtaking intergalactic city of Alpha, an ever-expanding metropolis comprised of thousands of different species from all four corners of the universe. Alpha’s seventeen million inhabitants have converged over time- uniting their talents, technology and resources for the betterment of all. Unfortunately, not everyone on Alpha shares in these same objectives; in fact, unseen forces are at work, placing our race in great danger.

In the plot of Valérian and Laureline, the French graphic novel on which this film is based, we have a male protagonist who’s a military man of action but skeptical of his role in toeing that line. Give him 10 years, and he’s basically Bruce Willis aka Korben Dallas, retired with a cat and a smoking habit. Until, of course, he meet his match in a woman who kicks as much or more ass as he does.

Laureline is a peasant girl from 11th century France — not quite a lab-grown super-humanoid like Milla Jovovich’s Leeloo, but as much of an alien to the futuristic world she’s apparently time-travelled into. In the graphic novel, Laureline is savvy and bold, and that red hair certainly brings LeeLoo’s signature style to mind, even if Delevingne keeps her blonde in Thousand Planets.

Those are just the two main players: That’s not mentioning the flying vehicle scenes, the benevolent aliens traveling in packs of three, the orc-like baddies getting their asses kicked.

Then there’s Rihanna’s appearance as a stunning performer with a few surprises no doubt up her sleeves, as teased in the trailer. Remember the blue alien opera singer? Yeah, expect this kind of memorable moment again, when the film comes out in 2017. We’re ready.

Gif via Giphy
Gif via Giphy

Help Seattle Seahawks LB Cassius Marsh Find His Stolen Magic Cards

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It’s refreshing when we’re occasionally reminded that the giant, superhuman NFL players we see doing freakishly athletic things every Sunday are just like us in other ways. A perfect and nerdy example is Seattle Seahawks outside linebacker Cassius Marsh, who took to Twitter yesterday to ask for the safe return of his stolen Magic: The Gathering card collection.

Fox Sports notes that the cards are valued at between $20,000 and $25,000. The collection was reportedly stolen Tuesday night after Marsh’s girlfriend went to a nightclub in downtown Seattle and someone smashed in one of her car windows.

The 24-year-old told the Seattle Times he’s been playing the game for years and began seriously collecting the cards after he went pro in 2014. “I’m a nerd, for sure,” he said. “I’ve been playing since I was 11. How people like gaming, I like cards.”

“It’s not even the money,” he added. “I really enjoy playing the game. To me, that’s what I do to get my mind off things sometimes. You know how people zone out sometimes? That’s how I zone out. It’s hurtful because those are one things I really care about.”

In two and a half seasons in the NFL, Marsh has played in 29 games, recorded 27 tackles and two sacks, and forced one fumble.

And if you for some reason think it’s a good and cool idea to taunt a 270-pound, 6’4” professional football player about being a Magic card-collecting nerd, Marsh has a response ready for you.

The most essential daily news, entertainment, pop culture, and culture coverage. Want more? Check out “Wasp Swarms And Poop: WTF Is Going On In This Little UK Town?”Donald Glover’s ‘Atlanta’ Obscures The Line Between The Real and Surreal,”  “Election 2016 Opt-Ed: A Clear Victory For Cannabis,” and “This Is How Your Favorite Celebrity Reacted To The Election.” 

Trouble Falling Asleep? Napflix Will End Tossing And Turning

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Napflix is a Spanish “siesta video platform” created by Victor Gutierrez de Tena and Francesc Perez that has a selection of the most boring and sleepy videos available, all collected with the purpose of helping you catch 40 (or four years worth of) winks.

So many people are guilty of falling sleep while the TV is on, some need the stimulation — the light and sound of it — to fall asleep every night. Even though scientists say that unhealthy, it is a phenomenon that has only increased with the surge of video-streaming platforms: Netflix, Hulu, Amazon, etc., that provide addictive content that leads to a never-ending cycle of sleepless nights and shitty mornings.

Napflix emulates Netflix not only in name but in layout, but trades the vivid red for a mellow green. The website features all types of videos, ranging from educational to religious, and all are mind-numbingly boring and repetitive. The videos are chosen according to a few factors, but all have quiet content that makes it hard for you to stay awake while watching.

We’ve selected some videos from different categories to give you a taste of Napflix. Who knows, this might be your new thing:

Original Napflix: Subway

We’ve all had that feeling of falling asleep on the subway; the clickey-clack movement of the train, the packed environment, the repetitive sound that makes our eyelashes flutter. Are you falling asleep yet?

You can now have this feeling from the comfort of your home with this 24-minute original Napflix video that shows the full ride from Canal Street to Coney Island.

Mark Okrand on Klingon

Unless you really want to learn Klingon and join the USS Enterprise, this vid will put you out in 10 minutes…if you really want to learn Klingon, you’ll be out in 15.

Solemn High Traditional Latin Mass, Cathedral of The Blessed Sacrament, Sacramento (May 5th, 2012) HD

This one is about 90 minutes long, featuring some cool organ sounds and singing at the beginning that might entertain for the novelty of it. Then it veers into your typical mass recording that will surely get you to fall asleep unless you’re an avid believer.

10-Hour Timer

This is a silent 10-hour video timer. That’s it. It has 5 beeps at the end and couldn’t possibly be any more boring.

Sheep Breeds – 1954 Agriculture / Educational Film – S88TV1

This 24-minute educational video will make you an expert on all types of sheep, their breeds, meats, wools, etc. If that is not sleep inducing enough, you can try counting them.

Conan Shares His Post-Election Optimism: “In America We Get To Pick Who Will Ruin Our Country”

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On his TBS show last night, Conan O’Brien attempted to offer some hope to his audience the day after a shocking election that has essentially torn the country apart. Among other things, the host spoke about the optimism free elections inspire in him, quoted Winston Churchill, and ended the mostly-joke free monologue by bringing out an extremely tall dachshund.

“We’ve all been through the ringer these past few days,” he said. “And today is a really strange day. Half of the country is really happy today, and half of the country is somewhere between despondent and furious. You may not know this about me—I’m a history buff, I love American history. And I was struck by one thought today: We have been here before. We’ve had bitter, angry elections for 200 years, whether it was Jefferson vs Burr, Adams vs Jackson, Lincoln vs Douglas, Alien Vs. Predator. I threw that in, I’m trying to keep it light! The point is, this is our thing. The optimist in my today chooses to be happy that we have fair and free elections at all. I think it’s an amazing thing. I mean that will all of my heart. In the past few years I’ve travelled to several countries where people would give anything to have our system. In America, we get to pick who will ruin our country. It’s up to us. We get to choose. It’s a privilege.”

Watch the full video below.

The most essential daily news, entertainment, pop culture, and culture coverage. Want more? Check out “How Vine Shaped Music And Made These Songs Blow Up,” “Weekly Delight, Election Edition: Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton Posing With Dogs,” “Celebrities Are Voting And Know No Chill With Their Stickers,” and “Stephen Colbert On Post-Election America: “We Drank Too Much of the Poison.”

Paul McCartney Does the Mannequin Challenge To “Black Beatles”

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If you thought the Mannequin Challenge died along with the Hillary Clinton campaign, you were wrong. The meme, which began—as all most great things do—with bored teenagers and quickly spread around the world, may have reached its peak Thursday morning when Paul McCartney posted a video of himself partaking in it.

A video of any rock legend standing still as a camera sweeps around him would be fun enough, but this one is especially notable because of its backing song: Rae Sremmurd’s hit “Black Beatles,” which has become the meme’s unofficial soundtrack and includes the lyrics, “Black Beatle, bitch, me and Paul McCartney related.”

“Love those Black Beatles #MannequinChallenge,” McCartney wrote. Watch it below.

Man Arrested After Neighbors Spot Him “Having Intercourse With A Goat”

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Loneliness can be a terrible thing. It drives some people to drink or drugs. Others, like 65-year-old Georgia man Freddie Wadsworth, turn to animals for companionship and love. Unfortunately, the animal Wadsworth turned to was a goat, and the way he allegedly choose to show his love was by having intercourse with it.

The Smoking Gun reports that two neighbors spotted Wadsworth “having intercourse with a goat” outside of his Douglasville, Ga, home, according to the Paulding County Sheriff’s Office.

A Paulding County Sheriff’s Office spokeswoman told The Smoking Gun that the goat in question was a white female goat. “He has a lot of goats,” Sergeant Ashley Henson added.

Wadsworth was arrested and charged with bestiality, a felony. If convicted, he faces up to five years in prison.

Photo Courtesy of Paulding County Sheriff's Office
Photo Courtesy of
Paulding County Sheriff’s Office

‘Gilmore Girls’ Has A New Ice Cream Flavor And It’s Filled With Junk Food

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It’s been at least 24 hours since ‘Gilmore Girls’ made the news, so it’s about time they made headlines again. And they have, with a new namesake frozen custard from Ample Hills Creamery in Brooklyn, which received more than 2,500 suggestions since they launched a social media contest to name a Gilmore Girls flavor in mid October.

The winning name is a rather brilliant one: They Scoop Gilmores, Don’t They? Fans of the show will recognize that name as a twist on the title of Season 3, Episode 7 — They Shoot Gilmores, Don’t They? — wherein Lorelai and Rory enter a 24-hour danceathon.


Gilmore Girls – S 3 E 7 – They Shoot Gilmores… by casual2

The flavor, which is coffee chocolate pudding frozen custard with snickerdoodles and Pop Tarts sprinkles, is actually an amalgamation of three different entries.

Yum Is Just The Start

According to Ample Hills, @jjjmmd came up with the name (his suggestion was coffee ice cream with donuts); @pauline__beal came up with the chocolate pudding idea (a nod to Emily making the dessert in Season 1, Episode 6); and @ryebecca suggested “Oy With the Snickerdoodles, Already!,” with caramel ice cream, snickerdoodle chunks and a cinnamon sugar swirl.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BMg-6NIhrFw/

The best news in all of this is that you don’t have to visit Brooklyn to get this new flavor. It’s being shipped nationwide! (If you order it, please let us know how it tastes and what, exactly, is in it. Or just get us a pint).

According to the Ample Hills website, you can order individual pints or opt for a Gilmore Girls-themed 4-Pack called Where You Lead, I Will Marshmallow that includes two pints of the winning coffee chocolate pudding flavor. If you’re thinking you need a post-election treat, look no further.

Netflix revives the television series November 25 with Gilmore Girls: A Day In The Life.

Cheap Burglars Take Taxi To And From House They Robbed, Then Stiffed The Driver: Cops

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Two miserly burglars were busted after they allegedly stiffed the taxi driver that took them to and from a house they robbed, prompting the driver to report them to the police.

The Associated Press reports that, according to police, Kenneth Burke, 46, and 38-year-old Timothy Foote took a taxi to a house in Deal, New Jersey and instructed the driver to wait outside. Sometime later, police say they emerged from the home with several liquor bottles and a TV, and told the driver to take them to an apartment in Asbury Park.

Burke and Foote might have gotten away with the crime had they not refused to pay the cabbie, who—perhaps as payback—called police to report their suspicious activity. Both men have since been arrested and charged with burglary, conspiracy, theft and criminal trespass.

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