Kindness and being loved are some of our most basic human needs, just as primal and important as having food and shelter. It’s easy to offer kindness to strangers and to people you don’t spend a lot of time with, but sometimes it’s hard to offer the same for the people you’re with the most, like your family, friends and even your boyfriend or girlfriend. The good news is there is now proof that being kind leads to better sex.
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When you spend a lot of time with someone it’s easy to take them for granted and to lash out when you feel like you’re needs aren’t being met. The longer you’re with someone, the more opportunities to foster resentment arise and you can choose to be vengeful and retaliate or to remain neutral and to not extend that olive branch. The best way to fight this problem and to avoid it all together is to be aware of it and to have it at the forefront of your mind; you can choose to be kind and understanding, to provide love for your partner even if you feel like they haven’t been at their best lately, and you’ll relationship will flourish and improve in all ways. You’ll be more intimate, closer than ever before and yes, you’ll have much better sex.
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While it sounds very simple in theory, being kind to your romantic partner takes a lot of effort and work, especially when it comes to exposing yourself and being vulnerable. It’s easier to be critical and defensive, only wanting to validate and understand your side of the story. By being kind, you’ll satisfy your basic need of love and your partner will likely respond in the same way, making you feel much much more comfortable to engage in sex and to have meaningful conversations, which will create a deeper layer of intimacy.