Tuesday, November 5, 2024

Stand Tall: These Ugly Shorts Promise To Give Men Stronger Erections

There are a lot of male enhancement products out there, most of them bogus and no help with boners. Sorry dudes. Pills and wacky devices can only do so much if you’re not pleased with what you’re naturally packing.

There are magic grow-medicines and serums that promise virility, but nothing quite like these hideous, vibrating shorts. Called the VylyV, the shorts claim to help strengthen pelvic floor muscles by training you to do better kegels. Yep, just like the ladies.

They look like overly-stylized bike shorts, but they’re full of trackers and vibrating functions to use along with an app on your phone. By playing games and getting feedback, the company says that these shorts will give you more powerful erections and orgasms.

From their now-funded Indiegogo campaign:

Kegel exercises (contracting the pelvic floor muscles) strengthens the hammock of muscle tissue that stretches from the pubic bone back to the tailbone and supports essential organs such as the bladder and bowel. Strengthening the pelvic floor also strengthens the bulbocavernosus muscle, which is responsible for controlling urination, erections and ejaculation in men.

But the science here is questionable, as Dr. Paul Turek told Huffington Post: “There is a relationship between pelvic muscles and incontinence, but there’s no evidence of a clear benefit between strong pelvic muscles and strong erections.”

Their campaign page says that the company’s founder, Michael, is “an avid gym-goer and men’s health enthusiast, [who] always believed that ‘bigger is better.’” He’d tried “over 20 penis enlargement devices” before becoming a pelvic floor strengthening advocate. Gotta give it to the guy, that’s tenacity.

Dubious science aside, their product video raises some eyebrows. Maybe we could all use a little more body positivity instead of freaky-ass pants? Watch their video for yourself, and stay til the end for the Oscar-worthy lines:



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