Look. We’re not about to snitch on someone who desperately needed to placate their midnight craving for human placenta. This is a safe space, and breaking into someone’s house to steal some food is a desperate, albeit questionable, move and we’re not here to judge anyone for that.
But if you did sneak into New Zealand mom Loralie Burns’ house and raid her freezer, she has a simple plea for you: “Please just drop it back, I don’t need to know who you are or why you did it, I just really want it back, no questions asked.”
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New Zealand blog Stuff.co.nz reports that a burglar broke into Burns’ home and stole some old meat, as well as a plastic container with her 5-month old son’s placenta inside. They had planned to bury it somewhere meaningful, alongside her mother’s ashes, at a later date. Until someone stole it, that is.
She cannot imagine that the thief would want the placenta for anything except for a meal. She simply can’t fathom that they’d take a Tupperware with a mysterious-looking organic material in it, mistake it for some other foodstuff, and make off with it. No, they definitely want the placenta.
Eating one’s own placenta, either dried into capsule form or blended into other foods, is a choice some moms make to get vitamins after childbirth. There’s little evidence, aside from anecdotal, that it’s actually good for you. Some new mothers swear by it. This must be what the burglar was after, the family believes.
Anyway, all that aside, the point of this story is to find Loralie’s placenta. If you know who took it, please urge them to return it. Unless it’s been stir-fried already, in which case, best just keep quiet about it forever.
And everyone else, please label your frozen foods more carefully.
