Breakups are hard. Truth is, you can have a million friends that’ll be there to give you advice, but at the end of the day getting over a relationship is something that you do alone. That doesn’t mean that there aren’t things that’ll help you feel better and that’ll help you get some much needed perspective, which is why we’re here.

Here are 4 ways to get over that nasty breakup:

Science!

When in doubt, you can always trust science to help you figure out what you’re supposed to do. Crazily enough, research suggests that a few things like listening to sad music and reflecting upon your breakup might help you get over your ex. Different studies claim that listening to sad music is therapeutic, providing peacefulness in your time of need. Our brains are drawn to the sadness of the music and instead of avoiding them (and hiding from your feelings) you should face them head on.

Reflecting on why you broke up in the first place will also make you face your feelings and help you get over the pain faster and more effectively.

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Studies also suggest that trying out new activities will also help you distance yourself from your partner. Chances are, the longer you’re with them, the more your lives have become entangled, having the same friends and watching the same shows. If you branch out and find other things to do, your brain will be grateful, and you’ll process your break up faster and more effectively than if you stay around moping and thinking about that time you watched Game Of Thrones together.

Admitting That There Were Times You Were Wrong

After a breakup, we tend to turn ourselves into victims and to blame the other person for almost everything that’s wrong with the world. Don’t fall for this, it’s cheap. Instead, do a deep search within yourself. The results you’ll find may not be pretty, but you’ll soon realize that it takes two to eff things up and you’ll gain more knowledge and wisdom for your next relationship.

Don’t Get Back Together

Each situation is different but, for the most part, getting back with your ex is a bad idea. If you’re serious about moving on, then you have to realize why you broke up in the first place and not be weak and text you ex in the middle of the night. According to Aaron Anderson, a family therapist, we all feel the urge to contact our ex, but the resolve to accept our loses and to move on is the right one because you won’t end up getting involved with something that wasn’t working in the first place.

Don’t Be Friends With Your Ex

It’s always cool to be open to friendships and to welcome all sorts of people into your life. This is something that’ll bring you a lot of positive things, but according to British philosopher Alain de Botton, it’s not something you want to do with your ex. This cute video explains things perfectly, and it has some really cute monsters in it.

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Being friends with your ex, especially when you’re the one who got dumped, is like an extension of the original relationship. This will reassure you and will make you kind of happy. This, of course, is temporary, and you’ll end up hurting each other even more in the long run.