Tuesday, April 23, 2024

Hero on LSD Breaks Into Neighbor’s House to Save Dog From Imaginary Fire

A heroic guy who loves to party was arrested last week after he allegedly took acid and broke into a neighbor’s house to rescue a dog from a fire that didn’t exist.

New York State troopers told WNYT that Michael Orchard took LSD and drank cough syrup sometime Thursday afternoon. Not long later, police say, he began to hallucinate that his neighbor’s home was on fire. He reportedly banged on the doors of other neighbors to ask for help.

Michael Orchard / Photo via NYSP
Michael Orchard / Photo via NYSP

When no one responded, he did what one does in such a situation and drove his black BMW through his neighbor’s fence and into his yard, smashed the back door’s window, sprinted inside, and emerged moments later triumphantly holding a big white dog.

“He believed that the residence was on fire and he was rescuing the dog,” Trooper Mark Cepiel, Troop G spokesperson, told WNYT.

The 43-year-old was arrested and charged with  third-degree criminal mischief and second-degree burglary, and jailed on $15,000 bail. When a reporter asked why he wasn’t charged with DUI or drug possession, Ceipel gave a matter-of-fact answer.

“He drove over yards and through the fence. At no point was he on the roadway and no illegal substances were found in his possession,” he said. Good to know.

Despite the dangers of imaginary house fires and being carried by a man ripped on acid, the dog was unharmed.

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