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Beer My Valentine With 7 Chocolate Brews

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“Life is like a box of chocolates,” said the ’90s everyman, Forest Gump. “You never know what you’re gonna get.”

And, of course, he was right. Especially on Valentine’s Day, when boxes of chocolates are worth their weight in gold. And especially when that box of chocolates is really a six-pack of chocolate beer.

Let me explain.

Many dark beers taste chocolaty because of the dark, roasted grains that make up the stuff. When darkened, the roasted grains, which also provide the sugary and malty taste in beer, provide that lovely and savory chocolaty-caramel flavor that’s so perfect in the winter months – and even better when sipped on Valentine’s Day with a love by your side.

RELATED: People Who Use Weed Also Do More Of Another Fun Thing

But which chocolate-forward brews are best? Would you like to know seven really good ones? Great!

Chocolate Stout

Rogue Brewery

https://www.instagram.com/p/BLfoW4uhf5f/

While Rogue’s Double Chocolate Stout (in the cool all-red bottle) is only available in the summer (Boo!), their Chocolate Stout is available all year-round (yay!). It’s strong-but-not-too-strong, highly-expert-rated brew from Oregon.

Turbodog

Abita Brewing Co.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BLrg2NVhGrO

A dark brown ale made with several different malts, this chocolaty brew has hits some nice toffee notes. It’s sort of like the best candy from the box of chocolates — not that weird one with nougat!

Salted Belgian Chocolate Stout

Perennial Artisan Ales

https://www.instagram.com/p/04RAkjCIE8

From the brewery that brought you the beloved Fat Tire beer, this collaboration with Perennial Artisan Ales has its fans repeating the tagline, “Dessert is best poured!” And that is especially true when the dessert is 9% alcohol.

RELATED: 5 Morning Activities To Help You Feel Happier

Sexual Chocolate

Foothills Brewing

https://www.instagram.com/p/yhN2RrCs7e/?taken-at=130877

Not only is this a good beer, it’s name (and beer label) also gets you in the mood for cuddle time. And it might just the perfect thing to loosen any anxiety on a first or second date, clocking in at just under 10% ABV. Yowza!

Black Chocolate Stout

Brooklyn Brewery

https://www.instagram.com/p/BO-MCmYDa8y

The brewers of this one advise, “Properly kept, it will improve in the bottle for many years.” For you patient folks out there, good luck with that!

Yeti Chocolate Imperial Stout

Great Divide Brewing

https://www.instagram.com/p/BP13GuYBbJb

Meant to taste like a “gourmet chocolate bar,” this brew has both chocolate and vanilla notes, with an added dash of cayenne to spice up your tongue (and perhaps your love life!).

Choklat Imperial Stout

Southern Tier Brewing

https://www.instagram.com/p/9kJVyeQtrg

And now we get to the age-old question of what to pair the beer with? The brewers of this bountiful beer suggest mint truffles or mascarpone cheese or pound cake. Or even vanilla bean ice cream. I’m officially in love.

Bill Naming PTSD As Qualifier For Medical Marijuana Passes In Colorado

A bill that would make PTSD a qualifier for medical marijuana in Colorado is flying through the State Senate, Cannabist reports. Senate Bill 17 passed through the Senate with a vote of 34-1 yesterday, with only Sen. Kent Lambert, R-Colorado Springs, voting against it.

Earlier in the week, veterans, survivors of abuse and trauma, and various doctors testified in favor of the bill at a public hearing. While PTSD patients could technically purchase the drug for recreational use, the bill’s supporters contend that such a strategy is cost-prohibitive for medical treatment. The limited availability of the low-THC/CBD-heavy cannabis products believed to be effective for anxiety, nightmares and other sleep disorders are also a factor for the bill’s proponents.

Experts also believe frank discussions about PTSD between doctors and patients would only improve things. From Cannabist:

Members of the medical community frequently caution that more qualified research is needed to determine the effectiveness and any health risks associated with using medical cannabis to treat a complex psychological condition. Psychologists have argued that any treatment would likely need to be used in conjunction with other forms of therapy — be it talk therapy or practices such as yoga or meditation — so as to not simply mask an underlying condition.

In 2015, the Colorado Board of Health ruled against adding PTSD to the list of qualifying conditions for medical marijuana, but that ruling is currently before the Colorado Court of appeals.

The Rock Sets 7-Layer Dip World Record

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Days before Super Bowl 51, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s company Seven Bucks Studios want to enter the  Guinness World Record. So the Rock sets seven-layer dip world record with his team.. The 540-pound monstrosity was made of guacamole, beans, cheese, tomatoes, sour cream, green onions, and black olives, and took over five hours to complete.

RELATED: Super Bowl Staple With A Kick: Chili Cheese Cannabis Dip 

Part of the feat was broadcast on Facebook live, allowing fans to watch an real time as The Rock’s team demolished the previous layered dip record of 440.925 pounds.

Curious about the exact breakdown of ingredients? The record-setting dip was made of 153.6 pounds of refried beans, 76.8 quarts sour cream with 9.6 pounds of seasoning mixed in, 76.8 pounds of cheese, 38.4 quarts of guacamole, 38.4 quarts tomatoes, 19.2 quarts green onions, and 37.2 quarts of black olives, according to Guinness World Records.

The team won’t be eating the dip themselves, in case you were wondering; instead they’ve donated it to the Midnight Mission Homeless Shelter in Los Angeles. The Rock seemed pleased with the results.

The seven-layer dip is an American appetizer based on ingredients typical of Tex-Mex cuisine.  Starting at as the Tex-Mex Dip without reference to any layers, it hit the scene in the early 80s. The dish was popular in Texas for some time before the recipe first appeared in print.

The dish typically includes:

  1. Refried beans (originally commercial jalapeño bean dip)
  2. Guacamole (originally mashed seasoned avocados)
  3. Sour cream (originally a mixture of sour cream & mayonnaise seasoned with commercial taco seasoning mix)
  4. Pico de gallo, salsa roja, salsa verde or chopped tomatoes (originally simply chopped green onions, tomatoes and onions)
  5. Grated cheddar cheese, Monterey Jack cheese, queso asadero, queso Chihuahua or a blend (some early recipes substituted processed commercial jalapeño cheese dip – or homemade chile con queso)
  6. Black olives
  7. Optional ingredients and variations include many items such as chopped onion, cooked ground beef, shredded lettuce (for texture), or sliced jalapeño chiles for additional spiciness.

The dish is often chilled when not served immediately.

Watch the Extended Super Bowl Trailer for ‘Transformers: The Last Knight’

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This June, the fifth(!) Transformers movie will debut across the country, and an extended sneak preview of the flick was just released ahead of the Super Bowl. The Michael Bay-directed Transformers: The Last Knight once again stars Mark Wahlberg and once again involves some sort of alien invasion of killer robots. After watching the trailer, we have some questions: Will Marky Mark be able to save the day yet again? Where’s Shia LaBeouf? Why is Optimus Prime all busted and floating through space like discarded NASA junk? Anthony Hopkins is in this one? We guess we’ll find out soon enough.

You might be asking the question, “Why did they make a fifth Transformers movie after the last one, 2014’s Transformers: Age of Extinction underwhelmed at the domestic box office and was a dud with critics?” Perhaps because it made nearly $860 million outside of the U.S.(including $320 million in China alone), bringing its worldwide total to a staggering $1.1 billion. Now you know.

Watch the full trailer below.

Need Help? Researchers Seeking Vets For PTSD-Marijuana Study

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Researchers are looking for veterans living in the Phoenix area to participate in an FDA-approved study to investigate if cannabis is a suitable treatment for PTSD.

Dr. Sue Sisley, one of the few researchers conducting federally sanctioned marijuana studies, is beginning Phase 2 clinical trials of cannabis treatment for PTSD in veterans.

Sisley is seeking subjects who seek the following criteria:

  • Military veterans with service-related PTSD.
  • Veterans should be located in Phoenix metro area and must be able to come off previous cannabis use prior to starting.
  • Veterans need to accommodate weekly follow-up visits at our laboratory located in north Phoenix.
  • Ideally seeking veterans who use cannabis irregularly or not at all.

Sisley asks that all interested veterans to send email to arizona@marijuanasites.org

The $2.15 million study received its funding for by the state of Colorado. The research will be conducted by a team of researchers from the Scottsdale Research Institute, Johns Hopkins University, the University of Pennsylvania, the University of Colorado and the Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies. It is a two-phase random, placebo-controlled, multisite study that will assess the safety and efficacy of four types of smoked marijuana to manage chronic, treatment-resistant PTSD symptoms.

Sisley, president of Scottsdale Research Institute, has legally obtained federally grown marijuana in order to conduct the ground-breaking research. According to Sisley, it took seven years of fighting red tape and bureaucratic roadblocks in order to get approval.

In the first phase of the study, subjects will smoke randomly assigned strains of cannabis (including a placebo) for three weeks. Participants will describe their experiences in a journal and then abstain from toking for two weeks. The second phase is a repeat of the first phase. Participants of the study will follow up for six months. The study is expected to take two years to complete.

Sisley of the Scottsdale Research Institute in Phoenix, said the hypothesis for the study is that cannabis may improve PTSD symptoms in a dose-dependent manner.

“I have no preconceived notions about the outcome of the study,” she told Stars and Stripes last year. “I’m not pro-cannabis; I am strictly pro-science. I’m actually not a fan of cannabis, and I’ve never tried it personally. I care deeply about our military veterans, and I am determined to find new treatments for PTSD — besides the only two approved medicines on the market, Zoloft and Paxil, which are highly disappointing.

“Nobody is arguing cannabis is a cure for PTSD,” she added. “What we are hoping is that cannabis is alleviating the suffering of PTSD patients and not just masking it. This is a distinction that can only be evaluated through a randomized controlled trial.”

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Woman Filmed Herself Performing Oral Sex on Mystery Man in Florida Courthouse

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With all the attention given to Donald Trump’s Supreme Court nominee Neil Gorsuch, it’s important that we don’t lose track of the going-ons in lower courts, like the Duval County Courthouse where earlier this week a woman filmed herself performing oral sex on a man in a hallway during business hours.

For some reason, the woman—who the Daily Mail reports is 26 years old—later decided to tweet out the video, which Action News Jax reports was filmed January 31 in the hallway of the court’s fourth floor. ‘Had so much fun at court today. Found a way to get my charges dropped…. Ssssssh don’t tell,’ the woman reportedly wrote on Twitter.

Screenshot via Twitter

The act was reportedly caught on security cameras in the building. The person on the receiving end of the oral sex may have been a security guard, according to the New York Post.

Earlier in the day, the woman had pleaded no contest to charges of possession of drug paraphernalia, smuggling contraband into jail, and violation of probation, and was sentenced to time served. It’s unclear if she’ll face further charges.

A censored version of the video is below.

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The Week in Hot Messes: Illegal Sex in Bed Bath & Beyond, Snakes in Ears, and a 19-Inch Penis

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What a week. Beyond all the political hubbub and Super Bowl hype, there were all sorts of crazy and scandalous stories from around the world. The majority, as usual, involved sex, but more than a few involved animals, and one involved a naked jogger on the campus of a tech giant. To find out more, read on.

We start in Redmond, Washington, where a man was briefly detained by police who caught him jogging completely nude (aside for his black sneakers) at 3:30 am on the Microsoft campus. But how did the cops spot the man so late at night? They reported “seeing nude buttocks illuminated by a streetlight.” Ah, of course.

In other nude news, a Mexican man who claims to have a 19-inch penis—which would be the world’s largest—says he hopes to one day move to the U.S. where he’ll be able to pursue a successful career as a porn star. We’d like to believe that’s an immigration plan that even President Trump would endorse.

Two men were arrested for allegedly having sex in a Bed Bath & Beyond in New Jersey earlier this week. Making the crime even worse? They were both reportedly covered with scabies, forcing the fumigation of the police station where they were detained.

And then there was the woman who wrote about having sex with a man who had a bionic penis. “It felt like a normal stiffee in my hand, and I didn’t feel the pump or valve when I road tested it in my mouth,” she wrote. “It was rock hard, like it should be, but I didn’t feel like I was sucking a tail pipe or anything. And by the time we actually did the deed, I forget all about the implant and enjoyed myself.” Technology is amazing.

In Florida, a well-known pastor was forced to flee a woman’s home without any clothes on when the woman’s husband caught them having sex and got his gun. The husband then threatened to drop the man’s clothes and phone off at his church. The issue was eventually resolved but not before making the local news. Oops.

Moving on to the world of crime, there was the bright woman who called the police to complain that her drug dealer was charging her too much for weed. “If you know a drug dealer who is ripping you off, give us a call, we’d love to help,” the police responded on social media. Not a bad “crime” fighting strategy…

And finally, there was the woman who somehow got her pet python stuck in her earlobe hole. I was holding my #SNAKE and his #DUMB ASS saw a hole, which just so happened to be my fuckin #EARLOBE, and thought that it would be a bright idea to #ATTEMPT to make it through… It all happened SO fast that before I even knew what was going on it was already too late…” she wrote on Facebook, before noting that she was now in the Emergency room. Thankfully, doctors were able to remove it without harming her or the snake.

You Can Now Eat This Pokémon In Taiyaki Form

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In the United States, taiyaki is having a bit of a moment. Taiyaki, for those unaware, is a baked Japanese cake treat shaped like a fish. Usually, taiyaki is served warm and stuffed with red bean paste, though the variations possible are unlimited.

Though it isn’t new, American foodies have been enamored by taiyaki stuffed with ice cream. It isn’t hard to determine why. It’s cute-looking, a unique dessert that stands out when posted on Instagram or various other social media feeds.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BQAtmdpDN8H/

But the foodie culture in Japan has already upped their game. Kurikoan, a taiyaki specialty shop, has redesigned their fish-shaped treat to resemble Magikarp. Though, in Japan, the Pokémon is called Koiking, so it’s a Koiking taiyaki.

The Magikarp treat will cost 106 yen (US $1.81) and comes wrapped in a small bag containing lyrics of Magikarp’s official theme song.

https://twitter.com/6si_tan/status/826636493070311424

https://www.instagram.com/p/BQAwcGdAxDd/

https://www.instagram.com/p/BP_-EzyhvAN/

https://www.instagram.com/p/BP_3ocUgORQ/

Wrestling Alliance Advocates For Medical Marijuana

The President of the National Wrestling Alliance, attorney R. Bruce Tharpe, is one of the first sports leaders publicly advocating the use of cannabis as a legitimate medical alternative for injured wrestlers and other athletes.

Here is Tharpe’s statement:

“Too many people in the US have become victims of opioid addiction and death as a result of the over-prescription of pain medications and pharmaceuticals by doctors. Unfortunately, over the years we have seen a large number of untimely deaths as a direct result of prescription drug use, and many of those deaths may have been avoided had the medicinal use of cannabis been legalized and more widely accepted. 

“It is clear that cannabis / CBD has been used to successfully treat such afflictions as children suffering from epileptic seizures, PTSD in veterans who have served in Afghanistan and Iraq, cancer patients experiencing the severe nausea associated with chemotherapy, glaucoma patients and those who suffer severe pain due to arthritis, fibromyalgia, etc.

“I think it’s important for the owners of legitimate sports franchises like the NFL, the NBA and the NBL and for sports entertainment groups like the WWE to stand up and take an honest look at cannabis as a legitimate form of alternative medicine.   

“The negative stigma of marijuana use needs to disappear in this country.  That’s why the National Wrestling Alliance is taking a progressive public position toward the advocacy of medicinal cannabis use by wrestlers and other athletes for the treatment of pain.” 

The National Wrestling Alliance is the oldest and largest sanctioning body in professional wrestling, founded in 1948.

Throwback: Examining Kanye’s ‘The New Workout Plan’

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It’s been 12 years since Kanye released “The New Workout Plan,” and aside from feeling extremely old, we’re also feeling extremely out of shape. What if we had followed Kanye’s instructions? According to the College Dropout sensation, by now we might have been able to “pull a rapper, a NBA player or at least a dude with a car.”


More than a decade later it’s time to put Kanye’s now not-so-new “Workout Plan” to the test. In an entirely necessary and overtly serious examination of the 2004 hit, we decide whether there is any truth behind Kanye’s claims.

Let’s start from the beginning:

“1, and 2, and 3, and 4, and get them sit ups right, and

Tuck your tummy tight and do your crunches like this”

Screenshot via KanyeWestVEVO/Youtube

We know. You’re probably wondering why on earth you pay three digits to take ab fab classes when Kanye just told you everything you need to know about getting abs for free? Good question. Forget all of those over-the-top tricks your teacher is telling you makes the difference, we say keep it simple with Kanye.

“All the mocha lattes you gotta do Pilates

You gotta pop this tape in before you start back dating

Hustlers, gangstas, all us ballas”

Yet again, this has never been so relevant. To all the people treating themselves to a daily mocha latte with extra whip cream, Kanye’s talking to you. After conducting a little research to back Kanye’s theory up, we found that the calories in a standard mocha latte (240) is almost exactly equivalent to the amount the average 140 lb. person would burn in a Pilates class (200). Coincidence or stroke of genius? We’re not sure.

On top of your calorie count, Kanye’s also watching out for the “Workout Plan’s” impact on your love life and self esteem. To ensure dating success, the rapper suggests you might want to workout a little first.

[Jill]

“Hi, my name is Jill, I just want to say thanks to

Kanye’s workout plan. I was able to pull a NBA player

And like now I shop every day on Rodeo Drive

I just want to say, thank you Kanye! Woooo! Woooo! Woooo!”

[Lasandra]

“My name is Lasandra, and I just want to say

That ever since listening to Kanye’s workout tape

I was able to get my phone bill paid, I got sounds and 13’s

Put up in my Cavalier and I was able to get a free trip to Cancun

And what’s most importantly is that I ain’t gotta fuck with Ray-Ray’s

Broke ass no mo’”

Screenshot via KanyeWestVEVO/Youtube

A successful workout regime would be incomplete without testimonials to back it up. Jill and Lasandra are the proof in the diet pudding that justify the methods to Kanye’s madness. After implementing “The New Workout Plan,” you too could be a shopping regular on Rodeo Drive and getting free trips to Cancun.

“That’s right, put in work

Move your ass, go berserk

Eat your salad, no dessert

Get that man you deserve

It’s Kanye’s workout plan”

To top off a seemingly flawless plan, Kanye concludes that if you put in the work and stay off the dessert turning your body dreams into a reality is only a few sleeps away. To Mr. West we say, thank you.


via GIPHY

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