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‘La La Land’ Vs. ‘Moonlight’ Is A Boring And Useless Oscars Narrative

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Outsiders might dissent (the internet is full of trolls after all), but when it comes to critics and the Oscars, only two movies mattered in 2016: La La Land and Moonlight. Watching one or both of these films perhaps qualified as a transcendent experience; or maybe you thought them too self-indulgent or cloying. The truth is what you think isn’t all that important. Because the decision is in and from a national perspective these two movies were best, or in Oscars’ translation, “the ones we all agreed upon the most.”

La La Land and Moonlight are one-two in this imaginary horse race—or 1A-1B, or top two, or whatever semantic musing you choose because the point is no one will concede the tiniest of details when it comes to either movie.

Since internet debates tend to firebomb any middle ground, you’re either for/against one of the two. If you love La La Land, you hate Moonlight, and vice versa. (If you don’t care, or dislike both, you’re a nihilist, a zombie without feelings, and your opinions aren’t accepted here; i.e. playing Switzerland is sus.) Just like your children, you have a favorite. La La Land fans,  your position has been reduced to this:

La La Land is for sappy nostalgists, who clearly don’t know musicals—otherwise they’d have noticed the derivative numbers and mediocre song-and-dance from Stone and Gosling. The film reeks of white privilege, white messiah complex, and pure, plain white-ness. It disavows any “real” Los Angeles, culturally speaking, but also true Los Angelenos, who burst with racial and sexual diversity—unlike this mansplaining movie. John Legend’s the bad guy for expanding the genre of jazz toward pop inclinations while this white boy shouts his secular neo-bebop love but plays elevator music ditties? Please. This movie is a joke unaware of its own punchlines.

For Moonlight, meanwhile:

Moonlight is a social justice warrior anthem choked through another regurgitation of Hollywood’s favorite story: the victim narrative. Sad boy is sad, we get it. Clinical and conservative in its approach to displaying queer love—poor Chiron receives one sandy handjob and that’s it? No wonder white guilty liberals adore it so. They can shout its praises from a distance and never confront the actual act. Dreadfully sentimental, it serves as pandering, self-righteous panacea to every other diverse narrative Hollywood has denied, to #OscarsSoWhite, to every racial injustice everywhere. You feel good for loving Moonlight so much? Congratulations, you’re supposed to.

Now. Both these wide-brush criticisms cycling across feeds and media verticals are disputable and puffy. They limit each movie to What It Says and Whose It For, two rather confining avenues to judge any film. Particularly by a certain crowd, this narrative pitting the two movies against one another binds each into symbols used to discuss a swath of other Important Conversations swirling around the culture. Whichever one wins will secretly serve as validation of publicly-held beliefs about race and class, as well as settling the ongoing The Way Things Were vs. How Things Are Now debate.

And how boring and useless is that? Whatever political goals either film has have mostly been accomplished. With La La Land receiving 14 nominations and Moonlight eight, it guarantees these will be and will remain films casual moviegoers believe they must see. As pious and/or as petty you might be regarding the Oscars, undeniable is their ability to shine spotlights on movies otherwise brushed over. Sometimes that leads to Oscars shining spotlights on Spotlight and we all lose. (In retrospect, that now seems par for the course in 2016.)

For all the sleazy appeal of awards season, a two-horse race can settle into similar tactics drunken sports fans practice: talking trash about your opponent. My team (i.e. my movie) is better because yours sucks for reasons x, y, and z. But maybe this type of message pierces most clearly through all the other ongoing noise. It is, after all, the chosen method of Donald Trump, the newly inaugurated President of our country.

However, as Moonlight director Barry Jenkins told Esquire:

I think there’s a very superficial read of La La Land that does injustice to what [director] Damien [Chazelle]’s doing in the film, and it’s convenient because these are tough times to make a superficial read of that film. But it’s like, no, this is America. This is what this shit is. You gain something; you sacrifice something else in the gaining of that thing. I mean, that’s dark stuff.

Neither film is without flaw. La La Land does leave audiences with a bittersweet taste: Intractable dreamers may accomplish those goals, but lose someone more precious in the process. However, are we really not supposed to believe Ryan Gosling’s Sebastian is kind of a hipster douche? To focus on just one moment, there’s the gaudy “Start A Fire” performance, where thousands cheer on John Legend’s synth pop, and Seb appears dissatisfied while Stone’s Mia is mortified. Isn’t it all hollow, asks our main characters. Well, no, it looks damn fun. You could argue that’s the point and ties into the movie’s thesis—an unwillingness to adapt and update classical sensibilities will leave one cold and forever confrontational with the world—but it’s a large ask for Chazelle to make.

On the other hand, Moonlight does reveal how civil structures and black pathologies can steal a child’s sense of intimacy and the impact nature has on nurture and how nurture affects one’s nature. It’s soaring and tender within a grounded, callous world. But when Chiron as the drug dealer “Black” reveals to previous lover Kevin he hasn’t touched another man, let alone another person, since their midnight tryst on the beach, it’s a hard moment to buy. (Strike that—I guess that point is distinctively not hard, if we’re being honest.) The Chiron we’ve witnessed is curious of people, always chasing others’ affection. A male swelling with desire, perhaps still sexually confused, would never stumble into a strip club living in Atlanta? Are we just supposed to ignore the city’s cultural impetus there? When Moonlight focuses so acutely on being a product of one’s environment? Was Chiron so ravaged by loss of love that he wouldn’t be inquisitive during that large swath of time, and explore some Midtown bars? Nothing at all?

While the admission is meant to underscore Chiron’s deep scars, it seems antithetical to everything we know about the character. For Jenkins, it’s a rare misstep.

Both movies are great. I enjoyed each immensely. But by reducing either into cultural treatises, and demanding one way chosen over the other, we deny the empathetic power each film graciously strives toward. Each is deserving of its praise. One winning does not qualify the other as loser. You can be lost in the moonlight and waltzing through la la land. Neither is such a bad place to be.

Impress Your Valentine With Wine In 6 Easy Steps

Not to brag, but I’ve got a lot of experience trying to impress people with wine. Now, it doesn’t always work, but that’s rarely the wine’s fault. Since Valentine’s Day mostly exists so that we’ll buy shit we otherwise wouldn’t, here are a few wine tips for V-Day that should let you impress without the stress.

Dining Out

1. Think about your date: Depending on how long you’ve been dating, you may or may not know their wine preferences, but hey, it’s a good conversation piece. V-Day is a great day to show some consideration, so maybe ask them what they like and go in that direction. Or try something new for the both of you: new experiences tend to create better memories.

2. Have a budget beforehand: Look, dining out on Valentine’s Day can get pricey, whether it’s a special tasting menu, extra courses, or maybe a slightly more generous tip (because you don’t want to look stingy, now do you?). Spending two minutes earlier in the day thinking it over will save you some struggle later.

3. Relax: There’s no perfect wine. You can spend ten awkward minutes staring at the menu, or you can put the wine app away and enjoy your evening. Ask for a recommendation, and definitely remember my four questions to ask your somm (or server).

Photo by www.kpmalinowski.pl via freestocks.org

Dining In

4. Plan ahead: Ever spend all day cooking an epic meal and then realize that you totally forgot to chill that bottle of Champagne? I have! It’s easy to forget the simple stuff when you’re running around like a chicken with its head cut off, so take five minutes to think about the wine you’ll be having.

Chill the whites and bubbles and then pull them from the fridge shortly before serving, and consider opening (and decanting, if possible) many reds several hours before you plan to enjoy them. Maybe give a quick taste test just to make sure everything’s good, because serving corked wine is never fun.

5. The time factor: Eating dinner at home doesn’t typically take as much time as it does at a restaurant, even if you have multiple courses. Thus, it’s good to think about a wine that might be good on its own, instead of something that demands food. This is where Champagne and other sparkling wine is your friend, because it’s always welcome.

6. The last bit of advice is, of course, moderation: Wine can lead to good times, but too much wine is bad times. Be smart and safe out there.

6 Tropical Destinations To Escape The Winter Blues On The Cheap

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The cold, dark winter months are here for most of the U.S. It’s January, which means our next nearest break from the cold nights and short days is still months away.

If going to Alaska isn’t your thing — More snow? No thanks — you’ve maxed out the art and museum offerings here in the states, and you’ve got zilch to do until Stranger Things comes back, it might be time to pack the swimsuit and get thee to a beach.

These destinations are off the beaten path, but still reachable from the east coast without blowing your whole budget on airfare.

Puerto Vallarta, Mexico

Situated on the Pacific coast, this beachy town is perfect if you’re looking for a less-touristy spot to visit in Mexico but still want to experience the nightlife and boutique shopping. Flights are around $300, and hotels are equally reasonable.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BMr6OGFDOem/

San Juan, Puerto Rico

A mix of historic and modern life, you can spend your days in San Juan lounging on the beach or exploring 16th century sights, and the nights in its lively bars and clubs.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BPc-b6kjb-a/

Playa del Carmen, Mexico

If checking out the ocean life and coral reefs before they’re gone forever is on your bucket list, Playa del Carmen. Hotels are inexpensive and you can choose your adventure: Chilled-out relaxation or turned-up nightlife.

https://www.instagram.com/p/beOwfiqkI1/

Trinidad and Tobago

This dual-island is a Caribbean destination that won’t blow your savings. Be sure to visit the Tobago Main Ridge Forest Reserve, featuring a shelter for hummingbirds.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BPbk3ggg28D/

Montego Bay, Jamaica

If all-inclusive resorts and a luxurious vibe are your taste, but your budget disagrees, try Montego Bay.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BMeS3MFB0yt/

Antigua

This West Indies island has just about everything: Untouched beaches, bird sanctuaries, sailing and shopping.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BPBbIrkgiaO

President Obama’s Impact On The War On Drugs

What has been President Obama’s Impact on the War On Drugs?  It is hard to believe that he will no longer be our President. I have both smiled and wiped away tears when watching President Obama’s farewell speeches, press conferences and exit interviews.

With Obama’s term closed, I wanted to reflect and thank him for his efforts to roll back the failed drug war and fix our broken criminal justice system. Here are some of his accomplishments.

White House Allows Marijuana Legalization Laws to Proceed

Colorado and Washington made history in November 2012 when they voted to legally regulate the production, distribution and sale of marijuana. But there was much uncertainty about how President Obama and the federal government would respond. Obama and Attorney General Eric Holder gave a qualified green light for Washington and Colorado to move forward and implement their laws via the August 2013 Cole memo. Over the next several years, more states and jurisdictions legalized marijuana – Oregon, Alaska, and Washington D.C. in 2014 and California, Maine, Massachusetts, and Nevada in 2016. President Obama deserves credit for allowing the will of the people to stand and for allowing these states to move away from marijuana prohibition.

RELATED: Science Says Medical Marijuana Improves Quality Of Life

President Obama and AG Holder Slam Mass Incarceration and Mandatory Minimum Drug Laws

President Obama and his attorney general spoke out forcefully against mass incarceration and mandatory minimum drug laws and made criminal justice reform a signature issue of Obama’s second term. Holder urged US attorney generals to not charge mandatory minimums for drug offenses when it could be avoided. President Obama spoke out against the 100-to-1 crack/powder sentencing discrepancy and although Congress wasn’t able to eliminate the discrepancy, they did reduce it to 18-to-1 with the passage of the Fair Sentencing Act. Obama and Holder pushed hard for bipartisan legislation that would roll back mandatory minimums. Attorney General Holder called for the repeal of laws that prohibit millions of felons from voting.

President Obama’s Drug Czar Embraces Harm Reduction Strategies

President Obama and his Drug Czar Michael Botticelli urged people to think about drug addiction as a health issue instead of a criminal issue. Obama’s Affordable Care Act expanded treatment to millions of people who never had access. Botticelli called for harm reduction strategies to deal with our overdose crisis, including expanding access to naloxone, the overdose reversal drug. They also embraced methadone and other medications for people struggling with opioid addiction, as well as syringe access programs to reduce HIV/AIDS, hepatitis C and other preventable diseases.

President Obama Acknowledged His Drug Use and Admitted Marijuana No More Dangerous Than Alcohol

Obama broke ground by talking openly about his own personal history of drug use. He was matter-of-fact about his marijuana use and even admitted to using cocaine in his youth. He shattered the myth that all drug use is problematic and could hold someone back from ambition and success. In a seminal interview with the New YorkerPresident Obama said that marijuana is no more dangerous than alcohol and spoke about racial disparities in marijuana arrests.

President Obama Grants More Clemencies than Last 11 Administrations Combined

President Obama started off slow and was criticized for not using his clemency and pardon powers. But then, in 2014, the administration made it clear that it wanted to step it up and took the unprecedented step of encouraging defense lawyers to suggest inmates whom the president might let out of prison early. Over the last couple of years he moved aggressively and granted clemency to close to 1,600 people, more than the last 11 administrations combined.

I don’t want to overstate President Obama’s criminal justice reform accomplishments. Many of these efforts fell short and there is so much that was not accomplished. We still have a mass incarceration crisis and there are record numbers of people dying from preventable overdoses. But when we look at the Trump administration getting ready to take over and the people he is surrounding himself with, particularly Jeff Sessions as Attorney General, it is obvious how much we are going to miss President Obama’s efforts to fix our criminal justice system.

Tony Newman is communications director for the Drug Policy Alliance

Watch: Man Dressed As A Beer Bottle Steals Papa John’s Pizzas

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There’s a man-sized beer bottle on the loose, and Papa John’s wants justice.

This guy wandered into a Papa John’s pizza parlor on New Year’s Eve, most likely drunk off his ass on Heineken (at least we hope it was Heineken, since he’s now their greatest poster boy). He was super hungry from the late night festivities. When he spotted two pizzas waiting untouched behind the counter, he did what any one of us could have done in this situation: He grabbed them and took off. Unfortunately, he forgot to pay. The store’s CCTV cameras took his photo before he ran off.

Now he’s a man on the run, likely lying low now that the cops are onto him.

If you recognize this man, the South Wales Police would appreciate it if you gave them a call, as ITV reported. They just want to talk to him, the cops tweeted:

https://twitter.com/swpcentral/status/821695237613555712

Much respect to the SWP, but if you spot this local hero running around in the same bulky beer bottle costume that he wore on New Year’s Eve, maybe pretend you don’t notice him. Don’t call the cops.

Don’t approach him, for your own safety — he is a majestic creature but he could be dangerous, we don’t know. When your friends ask if you see that guy over there in the Heineken bottle costume, covered in weeks-old Papa John’s grease, act like you don’t until he’s moved along.

Such boldness and beauty should be allowed to roam the earth freely, undisturbed by authorities or his fellow man, forever. And whatever kind of hangover from hell he woke up with on New Year’s Day was probably punishment enough.

TFT PSA: This Is Not How You Use a Ladder

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Ladders aren’t for everyone. The frail, for instance, should stay away from them as should those of us who suffer from a fear of heights. But the man trying to remove a towel from a ceiling pipe in the video below doesn’t appear to have any reason not to use a ladder in the way it was meant to be used.

As you’ve by now hopefully seen, instead of standing or climbing the ladder, the young man in the clip holds it like a stick and tries to bat the cloth from the pipe. A task that should’ve taken about five seconds to complete instead takes nearly a full minute.

 

The Best Of The New “Can Someone Please Tell Me Who This Celeb Is?” Meme

Last week, a confused young man names James Malcom took a photo with legendary singer and writer Nick Cave and posted it to Twitter with the caption, “Can someone please tell me who this celeb is? Everyone was asking him for pics and I didn’t wanna feel left out.” The tweet quickly went viral, birthing a new meme in the process.

https://twitter.com/DieJamesMalcolm/status/821488801449054208?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

All you need to do is take a photo with someone (preferably they’d be famous or at least noteworthy for something, but it also works as just a gag with your friend) tweet it with Malcolm’s same caption. Below are a few noteworthy examples.

https://twitter.com/nellyweather/status/822095218224799744

https://twitter.com/jrhennessy/status/821534523900850176

https://twitter.com/tGMo1898/status/822091100823363589

https://twitter.com/SofieHagen/status/821793858472263685

https://twitter.com/rickburin/status/821671631470915584

Of course, the meme eventually found its way back to Malcolm.

He seems to be taking the new internet fame just fine. “put my phone on airplane mode when this had 7 likes then got off the plane and it’s gone bloody mental,” he tweeted after his tweet went viral.

Nick Cave hasn’t acknowledged the meme publicly yet, but we’re hopeful he will soon.

Gute Nachrichten! Germany Legalizes Medical Marijuana

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In a landmark bill, the German parliament last week voted unanimously to legalize medical marijuana.

“Those who are severely ill need to get the best possible treatment and that includes health insurance funds paying for cannabis as a medicine for those who are chronically ill if they can’t be effectively treated any other way,” said Health Minister Hermann Groehe.

That’s correct: Not only will patients be able to access cannabis, the cost will be covered by health insurance for those who have no other treatment options.

Marlene Mortler, Germany’s drug commissioner, fought for the policy to allow patients to purchase cannabis from a pharmacy if they have a doctor’s prescription.

“It’s a great addition for patients who have waited for this a long time,” Mortler said.

The law will limit cannabis sales to patients “in very limited exceptional cases,” including patients suffering from multiple sclerosis, epilepsy, chronic pain, and lack of appetite or nausea related to cancer treatments.

Until the law passed, medical marijuana was available on a rare case-by-case basis. This bill allows patients to get a prescription from their doctor.

“Today is a beautiful day,” said Rainer Hayek, a lawmaker in Chancellor Angela Merkel’s conservative CDU party.

Last year, the German government reached an agreement with Canada to import cannabis. Bruce Linton, CEO for Canopy Growth Corp., one of the companies certified to import, said the German market was a strong one.

RELATED STORY: As Marijuana Legalization Spreads, Teen Use Lowest In 40 Years 

“This is a very substantial market, and it’s probably the best place to enter the European Union from,” Linton said last year.

Germany joins Austria, Britain, Croatia, the Czech Republic, Finland, France, Italy, Macedonia, the Netherlands, Portugal, Romania, Slovenia and Spain on the list of European countries that have legalized some form of cannabis or decriminalized possession of small amounts of marijuana.

More stories

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Black Market Weed May Thrive With Governor’s Plan

In November, Nevada voted for legal adult use of cannabis with 54 percent. A little over two months later, state officials are still debating the finer points of the law. Surprisingly, black market weed my thrive with the Governor’s plan.

Last week, Gov. Brian Sandoval announced that he supports a 10 percent special tax on marijuana sales in an effort to provide up to $70 million in funding for public schools. The special tax is on top of the 15 percent wholesale tax already in place.

The two taxes together, some industry executives and other policy experts fear, will keep Nevada cannabis consumers shopping in the black market and forgoing the legitimate retail experience.

“It’s a very price-sensitive product. We just have to be really mindful that we don’t create a black market,” said state Sen. Patricia Farley, I-Las Vegas.

Farley may have a good point. “If you overtax it, people are going to go back to the black market, avoid paying taxes, avoid everything,” Andrew Jolley, CEO of The Source marijuana dispensaries, told the Las Vegas Review-Journal. “It’s a delicate balancing act that we need to handle carefully, so we do what’s in the best interest of Nevadans and our education system.”

In Colorado and Washington, the two first states to allow retail sales of marijuana, officials have had to walk a fine line between generating maximum revenue while at the same time eliminating the illicit market. In both states, the black market cannabis is generally half the price of regulated retail cannabis.

Most casual consumers are willing to pay a tax in order to ensure quality, testing and legitimacy. But the more government increases taxes, the more the black market thrives.

When Question 2 passed, it created a 15 percent tax on wholesale recreational cannabis. Recreational sales, which is scheduled to begin no earlier than June, will be taxed at the regular sales taxes.

Sandoval’s proposal 10 percent add-on tax will need to pass the Legislature, which begins the 2017 session on Feb. 1.

Colorado collected $44 million in the first full year of sales in 2014, well below the projected $70 million. But by 2015, the state collected $76 million in marijuana taxes. And that revenue eclipsed more than $102 million through the first 11 months of 2016, according to data from the Colorado Department of Revenue.

 

Three States Have Delayed Voter Approved Marijuana

Three states have delayed voter approved marijuana, a sad time for the democratic process. Legislators in the states are pushing forward measures to delay the enactment of several voter-initiated marijuana laws.

  • In Arkansas, House lawmakers unanimously voted in favor of legislation, House Bill 1026, to postpone the deadline for establishing the state’s new medical marijuana program by 60 days. Fifty-three percent of voters approved Issue 6 on Election Day, which called on lawmakers to regulate the production and dispensing of medical cannabis within 120 days.
  • In Maine, leading House and Senate lawmakers have endorsed emergency legislation, LD 88, to delay retail marijuana sales by at least three months. Under the voter-initiated law, rules regulating the commercial marijuana market are supposed to be operational by January 1, 2018.
  • In North Dakota, Senate lawmakers unanimously passed emergency legislation, Senate Bill 2154, to postpone the deadline for the enactment of the North Dakota Compassionate Care Act. Sixty-four percent of voters backed the measure, which gave lawmakers a 90-day window to regulate the distribution of medical marijuana.
  • Lawmakers in Massachusetts previously enacted legislation imposing a six-month delay on the licensed production and retail sales of marijuana. Legislators are also debating making additional changes to the law, including raising the proposed retail sales tax and limiting the number of plants an adult may grow at home.
  • In Florida, health regulators are also calling for changes to Amendment 2, which passed with 71 percent of the vote.

RELATED: Mix Up How To Consume Marijuana With 5 Fresh Ideas

“Voters have lived with the failings of marijuana prohibition for far too long already. Lawmakers have a responsibility to abide by the will of the voters and to do so in a timely manner,” said Erik Altieri, executive director for NORML, a pro-legalization advocacy group.  He calls the the proposed changes and delays an affront to the democratic process.”

 

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