This June, the fifth(!) Transformers movie will debut across the country, and an extended sneak preview of the flick was just released ahead of the Super Bowl. The Michael Bay-directed Transformers: The Last Knight once again stars Mark Wahlberg and once again involves some sort of alien invasion of killer robots. After watching the trailer, we have some questions: Will Marky Mark be able to save the day yet again? Where’s Shia LaBeouf? Why is Optimus Prime all busted and floating through space like discarded NASA junk? Anthony Hopkins is in this one? We guess we’ll find out soon enough.
You might be asking the question, “Why did they make a fifth Transformers movie after the last one, 2014’s Transformers: Age of Extinction underwhelmed at the domestic box office and was a dud with critics?” Perhaps because it made nearly $860 million outside of the U.S.(including $320 million in China alone), bringing its worldwide total to a staggering $1.1 billion. Now you know.
Researchers are looking for veterans living in the Phoenix area to participate in an FDA-approved study to investigate if cannabis is a suitable treatment for PTSD.
Dr. Sue Sisley, one of the few researchers conducting federally sanctioned marijuana studies, is beginning Phase 2 clinical trials of cannabis treatment for PTSD in veterans.
The $2.15 million study received its funding for by the state of Colorado. The research will be conducted by a team of researchers from the Scottsdale Research Institute, Johns Hopkins University, the University of Pennsylvania, the University of Colorado and the Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies. It is a two-phase random, placebo-controlled, multisite study that will assess the safety and efficacy of four types of smoked marijuana to manage chronic, treatment-resistant PTSD symptoms.
Sisley, president of Scottsdale Research Institute, has legally obtained federally grown marijuana in order to conduct the ground-breaking research. According to Sisley, it took seven years of fighting red tape and bureaucratic roadblocks in order to get approval.
In the first phase of the study, subjects will smoke randomly assigned strains of cannabis (including a placebo) for three weeks. Participants will describe their experiences in a journal and then abstain from toking for two weeks. The second phase is a repeat of the first phase. Participants of the study will follow up for six months. The study is expected to take two years to complete.
Sisley of the Scottsdale Research Institute in Phoenix, said the hypothesis for the study is that cannabis may improve PTSD symptoms in a dose-dependent manner.
“I have no preconceived notions about the outcome of the study,” she told Stars and Stripeslast year. “I’m not pro-cannabis; I am strictly pro-science. I’m actually not a fan of cannabis, and I’ve never tried it personally. I care deeply about our military veterans, and I am determined to find new treatments for PTSD — besides the only two approved medicines on the market, Zoloft and Paxil, which are highly disappointing.
“Nobody is arguing cannabis is a cure for PTSD,” she added. “What we are hoping is that cannabis is alleviating the suffering of PTSD patients and not just masking it. This is a distinction that can only be evaluated through a randomized controlled trial.”
With all the attention given to Donald Trump’s Supreme Court nominee Neil Gorsuch, it’s important that we don’t lose track of the going-ons in lower courts, like the Duval County Courthouse where earlier this week a woman filmed herself performing oral sex on a man in a hallway during business hours.
For some reason, the woman—who the Daily Mail reports is 26 years old—later decided to tweet out the video, which Action News Jax reports was filmed January 31 in the hallway of the court’s fourth floor. ‘Had so much fun at court today. Found a way to get my charges dropped…. Ssssssh don’t tell,’ the woman reportedly wrote on Twitter.
Screenshot via Twitter
The act was reportedly caught on security cameras in the building. The person on the receiving end of the oral sex may have been a security guard, according to the New York Post.
Earlier in the day, the woman had pleaded no contest to charges of possession of drug paraphernalia, smuggling contraband into jail, and violation of probation, and was sentenced to time served. It’s unclear if she’ll face further charges.
What a week. Beyond all the political hubbub and Super Bowl hype, there were all sorts of crazy and scandalous stories from around the world. The majority, as usual, involved sex, but more than a few involved animals, and one involved a naked jogger on the campus of a tech giant. To find out more, read on.
We start in Redmond, Washington, where a man was briefly detained by police who caught him jogging completely nude (aside for his black sneakers) at 3:30 am on the Microsoft campus. But how did the cops spot the man so late at night? They reported “seeing nude buttocks illuminated by a streetlight.” Ah, of course.
In other nude news, a Mexican man who claims to have a 19-inch penis—which would be the world’s largest—says he hopes to one day move to the U.S. where he’ll be able to pursue a successful career as a porn star. We’d like to believe that’s an immigration plan that even President Trump would endorse.
Two men were arrested for allegedly having sex in a Bed Bath & Beyond in New Jersey earlier this week. Making the crime even worse? They were both reportedly covered with scabies, forcing the fumigation of the police station where they were detained.
And then there was the woman who wrote about having sex with a man who had a bionic penis. “It felt like a normal stiffee in my hand, and I didn’t feel the pump or valve when I road tested it in my mouth,” she wrote. “It was rock hard, like it should be, but I didn’t feel like I was sucking a tail pipe or anything. And by the time we actually did the deed, I forget all about the implant and enjoyed myself.” Technology is amazing.
In Florida, a well-known pastor was forced to flee a woman’s home without any clothes on when the woman’s husband caught them having sex and got his gun. The husband then threatened to drop the man’s clothes and phone off at his church. The issue was eventually resolved but not before making the local news. Oops.
Moving on to the world of crime, there was the bright woman who called the police to complain that her drug dealer was charging her too much for weed. “If you know a drug dealer who is ripping you off, give us a call, we’d love to help,” the police responded on social media. Not a bad “crime” fighting strategy…
And finally, there was the woman who somehow got her pet python stuck in her earlobe hole. I was holding my #SNAKE and his #DUMB ASS saw a hole, which just so happened to be my fuckin #EARLOBE, and thought that it would be a bright idea to #ATTEMPT to make it through… It all happened SO fast that before I even knew what was going on it was already too late…” she wrote on Facebook, before noting that she was now in the Emergency room. Thankfully, doctors were able to remove it without harming her or the snake.
In the United States, taiyaki is having a bit of a moment. Taiyaki, for those unaware, is a baked Japanese cake treat shaped like a fish. Usually, taiyaki is served warm and stuffed with red bean paste, though the variations possible are unlimited.
Though it isn’t new, American foodies have been enamored by taiyaki stuffed with ice cream. It isn’t hard to determine why. It’s cute-looking, a unique dessert that stands out when posted on Instagram or various other social media feeds.
But the foodie culture in Japan has already upped their game. Kurikoan, a taiyaki specialty shop, has redesigned their fish-shaped treat to resemble Magikarp. Though, in Japan, the Pokémon is called Koiking, so it’s a Koiking taiyaki.
The President of the National Wrestling Alliance, attorney R. Bruce Tharpe, is one of the first sports leaders publicly advocating the use of cannabis as a legitimate medical alternative for injured wrestlers and other athletes.
Here is Tharpe’s statement:
“Too many people in the US have become victims of opioid addiction and death as a result of the over-prescription of pain medications and pharmaceuticals by doctors. Unfortunately, over the years we have seen a large number of untimely deaths as a direct result of prescription drug use, and many of those deaths may have been avoided had the medicinal use of cannabis been legalized and more widely accepted.
“It is clear that cannabis / CBD has been used to successfully treat such afflictions as children suffering from epileptic seizures, PTSD in veterans who have served in Afghanistan and Iraq, cancer patients experiencing the severe nausea associated with chemotherapy, glaucoma patients and those who suffer severe pain due to arthritis, fibromyalgia, etc.
“I think it’s important for the owners of legitimate sports franchises like the NFL, the NBA and the NBL and for sports entertainment groups like the WWE to stand up and take an honest look at cannabis as a legitimate form of alternative medicine.
“The negative stigma of marijuana use needs to disappear in this country. That’s why the National Wrestling Alliance is taking a progressive public position toward the advocacy of medicinal cannabis use by wrestlers and other athletes for the treatment of pain.”
The National Wrestling Alliance is the oldest and largest sanctioning body in professional wrestling, founded in 1948.
It’s been 12 years since Kanye released “The New Workout Plan,” and aside from feeling extremely old, we’re also feeling extremely out of shape. What if we had followed Kanye’s instructions? According to the College Dropout sensation, by now we might have been able to “pull a rapper, a NBA player or at least a dude with a car.”
More than a decade later it’s time to put Kanye’s now not-so-new “Workout Plan” to the test. In an entirely necessary and overtly serious examination of the 2004 hit, we decide whether there is any truth behind Kanye’s claims.
Let’s start from the beginning:
“1, and 2, and 3, and 4, and get them sit ups right, and
Tuck your tummy tight and do your crunches like this”
We know. You’re probably wondering why on earth you pay three digits to take ab fab classes when Kanye just told you everything you need to know about getting abs for free? Good question. Forget all of those over-the-top tricks your teacher is telling you makes the difference, we say keep it simple with Kanye.
“All the mocha lattes you gotta do Pilates
You gotta pop this tape in before you start back dating
Hustlers, gangstas, all us ballas”
Yet again, this has never been so relevant. To all the people treating themselves to a daily mocha latte with extra whip cream, Kanye’s talking to you. After conducting a little research to back Kanye’s theory up, we found that the calories in a standard mocha latte (240) is almost exactly equivalent to the amount the average 140 lb. person would burn in a Pilates class (200). Coincidence or stroke of genius? We’re not sure.
On top of your calorie count, Kanye’s also watching out for the “Workout Plan’s” impact on your love life and self esteem. To ensure dating success, the rapper suggests you might want to workout a little first.
[Jill]
“Hi, my name is Jill, I just want to say thanks to
Kanye’s workout plan. I was able to pull a NBA player
And like now I shop every day on Rodeo Drive
I just want to say, thank you Kanye! Woooo! Woooo! Woooo!”
[Lasandra]
“My name is Lasandra, and I just want to say
That ever since listening to Kanye’s workout tape
I was able to get my phone bill paid, I got sounds and 13’s
Put up in my Cavalier and I was able to get a free trip to Cancun
And what’s most importantly is that I ain’t gotta fuck with Ray-Ray’s
A successful workout regime would be incomplete without testimonials to back it up. Jill and Lasandra are the proof in the diet pudding that justify the methods to Kanye’s madness. After implementing “The New Workout Plan,” you too could be a shopping regular on Rodeo Drive and getting free trips to Cancun.
“That’s right, put in work
Move your ass, go berserk
Eat your salad, no dessert
Get that man you deserve
It’s Kanye’s workout plan”
To top off a seemingly flawless plan, Kanye concludes that if you put in the work and stay off the dessert turning your body dreams into a reality is only a few sleeps away. To Mr. West we say, thank you.
As we adjust to dramatic political change while dealing with the usual bullshit with winter, it’s safe to say that all of of us are probably feeling a bit off. What better way to recalibrate than with three memes that really sum up how the emotional states of the vast majority of us. Check out three such memes below.
Winnie The Pooh Dancing
The newest meme on our list, Winnie the Pooh doing the dance to Psy’s “Gangnam Style” works with almost any song. The Friends theme, Rihanna’s “Work,” “Bad and Boujee” by Migos,” Smash Mouth’s “All Star”—it really doesn’t matter the tune, after watching Pooh dancing you’ll feel better about whatever ailed you. Most of the best videos are compiled here.
Find yourself staring at the countless arguments taking place on Facebook and telling yourself, “Thank goodness I’m not getting into this mess” and the next thing you know you’ve replied to 10 people you haven’t seen since high school? Then Evil Kermit is the meme for you now. As you’ll recall, its basic premise is a good kermit looking at an “evil” Kermit with the same caption below, like so: “Me: I’m going to finish this post right now. Me to Me: You totally have time to scroll through Twitter at least two more times.” Check out a couple of examples below and read more about it here.
Remixes of Richard Spencer Getting Punched in the Face
No matter your political beliefs, we can all agree that white nationalists are bad people who deserves a strong punch to the head. Just such a thing happened last month and video of the incident went viral. It served as a sort of catharsis for people feeling helpless and overwhelmed by the sudden and drastic changes in our country. But more importantly it gave people the chance to synch all types of songs to the punch. Read all about it here, and check out a few of our favorites below.
The cops wanna know: Is your marijuana dealer ripping you off?
Australia’s Northern Territory Police posted a hilarious plea to emergency services on their Facebook page. A woman called to complaining “about the price of marijuana in her community,” they wrote. She was upset that her dealer had raised the price of her usual bud, and demanded an investigation into this upcharge.
It’s important to note that, yes, recreational marijuana use is still illegal in Australia. That doesn’t mean the Aussies don’t know how to blaze, however. The land down under has one of the highest prevalences of marijuana use in the world. According to a 2010 survey, around 750,000 Australians use cannabis every week and approximately 300,000 smoke every day.
But there’s hope: Also like many other places around the world, Australia’s loosening up on medical cannabis use, with parliament making the plant’s medicinal use legal in 2016.
But let’s get back to this outstanding complaint from a distraught customer. The post has been shared 15,000 times, with commenters reactions spanning from “RELATABLE!” to commiseration over the price of cigarettes.
Their call for help is so snarky, it’s comic gold. “If you know a drug dealer who is ripping you off, give us a call, we’d love to help.”
This sounds suspiciously like that time the police asked for tips when someone had the shopping trip of their lives and left their blow at Sam’s Club. Think before you narc on your dealers, dudes. You’re only narcing on yourselves.
Budweiser and the Super Bowl have been a solid partnership for years and the beer behemoth has created some of the most iconic commercials in the telecast’s history (think Clydesdales, talking frogs, etc.) But there is another player now. Here is why marijuana sales are soaring for Super Bowl weekend.
Sales of cannabis typically skyrocket on the days before the nation’s largest televised sporting event — and this year is no different.
Joel Milton, CEO of Baker, a cannabis customer platform, says that casual smokers prepare for Super Bowl LI by buying pre-rolled joints. According to a report in Forbes, sales of pre-rolls soared by 28 percent. Infused beverages are also becoming more prevalent as well.
Last year, sales increased nearly 3o percent in the days leading up to the Super Bowl. Also in 2016, delivery service Eaze reported an increase of nearly 50 percent hours before kickoff, Forbes reported.
Green Rush, a California cannabis delivery company, said it shattered company record sales during last year’s Super Bowl weekend. The company said sales soared more than 300 percent.
Do you know what else sells well during Super Bowl games? Pizza. Last year, Pizza Hut set record sales numbers with over $12 million in sales during the game.
Sally Vanderveer, president of Denver’s largest dispensary Medicine Man, told Forbes:
“The good thing with marijuana is that there is no hangover and they can go to work the next day with no problem.”
About 16 million Americans call in sick the day after the Super Bowl, according to t Forbes, making it the worst day of absenteeism for employers according to Kraft Heinz who wants to make it a holiday. They say that productivity is so bad that employers say they lose $1 billion from inactivity of workers nursing hangovers.
