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iPhone 7’s Dumb New Headphone Dongle Inspires Sex Memes

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Apple’s “courageous” decision to eliminate the traditional headphone jack from the iPhone 7 left many people baffled and frustrated, not least because now you’ll need a $40 adaptor to charge your phone while listening to music. What a dumb and bad idea, but also who cares. At least there’s this: A photo of the complicated contraption inspired some new sex memes, a sampling of which you can find below.

https://twitter.com/alanalevinson/status/774226838495305728

https://twitter.com/kashanacauley/status/774262497780068353

https://twitter.com/jesseberney/status/774277514092879872

Nice.

[h/t Gizmodo]

Eat Like They Do In San Diego With Fish Tacos and Margarita Cake

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When I travel, half the amusement is getting my hunt on for regional food and drink.  With the right gusto for exploration, anyone can find unique dishes locals are passionate and proud enough to serve with a story and a smile. In lieu of travel, a savvy cookbook will bring to you the salt, smell and spirit of place.

While working on the California Sol Food Cookbook I became smitten with one of the favorite fares of climate-perfect-Mexico-influenced San Diego: crispy fish tacos.  Now, you too can indulge in this crispy-crunchy-flavor-laden taco recipe representing a San Diego staple. To complete your staycation, a fresh, aromatic and deceptively simple to make ‘margarita’ cake even for non-bakers como yo.

Viajes Felices Mi Amigos!

Fish Tacos 
(makes 12 tacos)

INGREDIENTS

Beer batter:

  • 1 cup flour
  • ½  teaspoon garlic powder
  • Âź teaspoon red pepper
  • Âź teaspoon freshly ground
  • black pepper
  • 1 cup beer

White sauce:

  • ½ cup mayonnaise
  • ½ cup plain yogurt

Tacos:

  • vegetable oil for deep-frying
  • 12 (l l/2-ounce) cod fillets or any white fish fillets
  • salt to taste
  • 12 fresh corn tortillas
  • shredded cheddar cheese to taste
  • salsa to taste
  • 1 head green cabbage, shredded
  • lime juice to taste

DIRECTIONS

Batter: Combine the flour, garlic powder, red pepper and black pepper in a bowl and mix well. Whisk the flour mixture into the beer in a bowl until blended.

Sauce: Mix the mayonnaise and yogurt in a bowl.

Tacos: Heat enough oil in a skillet to 375 degrees to deep-fry the fillets. Rinse the fillets and dip in a bowl of lightly salted cold water. Drain and pat dry with paper towels. Coat the fillets with the batter and fry in batches in the hot oil until crisp and golden brown; do not allow the fillets to touch. Drain on paper towels. Heat the tortillas in a skillet until pliable and warm.

ASSEMBLY

Layer each tortilla with 1 fish fillet, shredded cheese, White Sauce, salsa and cabbage and drizzle with lime juice. Fold over to enclose the filling and serve immediately.

Margarita Cake 
(serves 16)

 

Photo courtesy of Frankie Frankeny
Photo courtesy of Frankie Frankeny

 

INGREDIENTS

  • 1 ž   cups sugar
  • ½  cup ( 1 stick) butter, softened 1 /2 teaspoon baking soda
  • Âź teaspoon salt
  • 3 eggs
  • 1 Tablespoon grated lemon zest
  • 1 Tablespoon fresh lemon juice 21/2 cups flour
  • 1 cup lemon or plain yogurt

Lime glaze:

  • 1 / 2 cup sugar
  • 2 Tablespoons fresh lime juice (preferably Mexican limes)
  • 1 Tablespoon water
  • 1 Tablespoon tequila

DIRECTIONS

Cake: Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Combine the sugar, butter, baking soda and salt in a mixing bowl and beat until blended. Add the eggs 1 at a time, beating well and scraping the bowl after each addition. Mix in the lemon zest and lemon juice. Add the flour and yogurt alternately, beating well after each addition.

Spoon the batter into a greased and floured 9x 13-inch cake pan. Bake for 25 to 30 minutes or until a wooden pick inserted in the center comes out clean. Cool in the pan on a wire rack for 15 minutes.

Glaze: Combine the sugar, lime juice and water in a saucepan and mix well. Cook until the sugar dissolves, stirring frequently. Stir in the tequila.

ASSEMBLY

Invert the warm cake onto a serving platter and brush with the glaze until it is absorbed. Let stand until cool. Slice and garnish each serving with a lime slice and a dollop of whipped cream.

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Named one of the 100 Most Creative People in the US by Entertainment Weekly , Frankie captures images for some of the best names in culinary.  

Frankie has helped create: The Art of the Bar: Cocktails Based on the Classics;The Model Bakery Cookbook; Miette: Recipes from San Francisco’s Most Charming Pastry Shop; The Green Eggs and Ham Cookbook and The Star Wars Cookbook Series. Follow her on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter.Frankie has helped create: The Art of the Bar: Cocktails Based on the Classics;The Model Bakery Cookbook; Miette: Recipes from San Francisco’s Most Charming Pastry Shop; The Green Eggs and Ham Cookbook and The Star Wars Cookbook Series. Follow her on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter.

Frankie has helped create: The Art of the Bar: Cocktails Based on the Classics;The Model Bakery Cookbook; Miette: Recipes from San Francisco’s Most Charming Pastry Shop; The Green Eggs and Ham Cookbook and The Star Wars Cookbook Series. Follow her on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter.

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Fresh Music: Lady Gaga Sounds Lost, But Young Thug And Sia Soar

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With new music flying like warp-speed through the various channels of the Internet, it can be hard to keep up. But worry not! Each week The Fresh Toast will deliver the most-discussed and exciting songs that have recently dropped. Landed. Crashed. And also: soared. Enjoy.

Lady Gaga: “Perfect Illusion”

Lady Gaga wants to be Madonna. That sounds critical, but it’s not: Madonna was one of the biggest and most important pop music artists of the 80s. She was right alongside Prince and Michael Jackson. The flamboyancy and overall persona Lady Gaga embodies is descendant in many ways to Madonna, except Gaga is a theater kid. (Also not a knock against theater kids!)

Like the best pop acts, Gaga blends and reinvents sounds constantly. She works as a collagist as much as a singer. And maybe that’s why Gaga’s newest single “Perfect Illusion” bombards ears like an exasperated sigh. Who wouldn’t want Gaga’s return to explode like fireworks? But that’s not what “Perfect Illusion” is. It sounds like a throwaway from a later-day Madonna album when some producer thought to chase that grand hook/earnest 80s vibes again.

When the track hits its unearned key change, desperately trying to pump some late depth into some surprisingly thin production, it frustrates more than enlivens. It all seemed like a good idea when this song was announced. But with all that production talent behind Gaga, it’s almost like no one wanted to take direction, which is exactly how the song sounds: lost.

Sia ft. Kendrick Lamar: “The Greatest”

This is cathartic. Penned as a tribute to the victims of the Orlando Pulse shooting, the euphoric single is pure pop mastery. Sia teams again with dancer Maddie Ziegler to deliver an equally haunting video, though the video version doesn’t include Kendrick’s verse.

Zack de la Rocha: “digging for windows”

News came that former Rage Against the Machine frontman Zack de la Rocha dropped a new single and it seemed inconceivable. Rage broke up in 2000 and de la Rocha was supposedly recording a solo album, working with El-P, of Run the Jewels fame. Well it turns out de la Rocha remained close to El-P and the first words de la Rocha utters ensures he’s still the rage man. “Fuck that bright shit” and “the days are all night,” we hear against a thumping death march of a beat.

That energy was missed. And apparently we’re going to be hearing a lot more of it soon to come.

https://twitter.com/therealelp/status/773885755210862595

Mac Miller ft. Ariana Grande: “My Favorite Part”

Few rappers or musicians have dabbled in such various modes as Mac Miller. While still too-often dismissed by a certain crowd with a frat rapper label, a genre that made him famous, Mac’s love of all music flows through his own. His next project The Divine Feminine coming next week marks another turn for Mac: some parts neo-soul, others funk, and some jazz backbone. His 2012 You EP, under the guise of Larry Lovestein & The Velvet Revival, displayed he had this in him, but this fusion of feel-good jams he’s been releasing is something else.

“My Favorite Part” joins those ranks, with Mac singing beside new girlfriend Ariana Grande. A laid-back boom-bap, the pair intertwine well together, though that’s little surprise due to their previous collaborations.

Felix Snow ft. Young Thug “Turn Up”

Here’s how Young Thug sounds on this track: unhinged. But unhinged like thrown out of a flying airplane, falling through the sky while rapping his ass off and firing two flamethrowers, only to land on a dragon, also breathing fire, and lightning strikes the pair, trans-morphing them together, until we reach Young Dragon Thug, the maniac rapping on this track.

In other words, it’s Young Thug at his thrilling best.

Andy Milonakis: “Suck Me Off to Drake Songs”

Have a nice weekend.

 

Why Stephen King Is Not Freaked Out By The Crazy Clown Trend

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Three cities in the Carolinas have reportedly been plagued by clowns lurking in the woods, where they’ve tried to lure neighborhood children with promises of candy and other treats. And yet the man who is arguably America’s premier clown expert, Stephen King, remains unfazed by the reports, the authenticity of which he doubts.

“I suspect it’s a kind of low-level hysteria, like Slender Man, or the so-called Bunny Man, who purportedly lurked in Fairfax County, Virginia, wearing a white hood with long ears and attacking people with a hatchet or an axe,” King told the Bangor Daily News. “The clown furor will pass, as these things do, but it will come back, because under the right circumstances, clowns really can be terrifying.”

The Daily News notes that “phantom clown scares” occurred in the 1980s and 90s, but that’s undoubtedly small consolation to the Carolina residents currently living in fear of imminent clown attack.

As you may recall, two weeks ago residents of a Greenville, S.C., apartment complex reported seeing several clowns in their neighborhood. A woman told police she saw “clowns in the woods whispering and making strange noises,” and  some children in the neighborhood told police they “believe the clowns stay in a house located near a pond at the end of a man-made [trail] in the woods.”

If I saw a clown lurking under a lonely bridge, I’d be scared, too.

A week later, residents of an apartment complex in Winston-Salem, N.C, some 175 miles north of Greenville, reported similar clown sightings. One woman told reporters that clowns offered her grandchildren “treats and candy to go into the woods.” Then, two days later, a machete-wielding man reportedly chased a clown into the woods near a Greensboro, N.C, apartment complex.

Of course it’s possible that the reports are all hoaxes or part of some Carolina-apartment-complex-specific mass hysteria. That doesn’t make the idea of regular clown sightings less terrifying. Even King admits as much.

“If I saw a clown lurking under a lonely bridge (or peering up at me from a sewer grate, with or without balloons), I’d be scared, too,” he said.

Posted By: Taylor Berman

Here’s Joy Division’s Ian Curtis Blissing Out On A Roller Coaster, NBD

As the lead singer and songwriter of post-punk, post-everything geniuses Joy Division, Ian Curtis appeared publicly to be a pitch-black soul with wicked cool dance moves. But the truth was that he suffered from epilepsy, which at times contributed to his agitated stage presence, and depression so deep it ultimately lead to his suicide in 1980 at the age of 23. So. Yeah. Happy Friday!

Now, some other genius has taken a slice of Curtis’ wail in “I Remember Nothing,” and mashed it up with 14 seconds of roller-coaster footage to create a mind-bending inside joke that the whole world should be in on. That’s where we come in. Trying to help the whole world get in on the joke–and maybe, just maybe, lead some young, lonely kid to find salvation in the beautifully tragic music Joy Division made. The great irony being that it’s entirely likely that Curtis’ songs have saved many other lives.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mvPIvoJkmGs

Star-Crossed Lovers, Cowboys, Magic, And Dragons: Inside Greg Pak’s New Series, ‘Kingsway West’

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From Planet Hulk to Battlestar Galactica, Greg Pak has produced entertaining work for years now. His run on Action Comics (particularly the non-crossover arcs) were some of the best and original Superman books in recent years.

That said, I didn’t totally love the first issue of Pak’s newest series Kingsway West.

All the parts and pieces are there. The artwork’s great and the writing is good. The story just felt rushed and a little lackluster.

It starts brilliantly with exposition about an alternate history world where Chinese and Mexican Empire’s control the west coast of the United States. They’ve been at war for 13 years prior, fighting for control of a magical substance called Red Gold. Now with the war over, our Chinese protagonist, Kingsway Law, seeks to leave the atrocities of his past behind him.

Photo by Mirko Colak via Dark Horse Comics
Photo by Mirko Colak via Dark Horse Comics

Kingsway is a likeable, albeit standard western hero. A man of few words and quick hands. He guns down some bounty hunters that are after him, but gets injured and rescued by a Mexican woman named Sonia. All good stuff at this point. Star-crossed lovers, cowboys, magic, dragons. This book’s got it all.  Anticipation over watching these two on the run from their respective governments is exciting.

But that doesn’t happen. Nope, the next scene is a five-year flash forward. Sonia and Kingsway are married, but she goes missing and Kingsway makes a new friend named Ah Toy and kills some more soldiers. The second half of the book moves quickly and sets the stage for the rest of the miniseries.

It’s not bad in any sense, exactly. And again, all the pieces are there. It just feels like the sequel to a book that never existed. But it is the debut issue so maybe I’m being harsh and overly critical. I’m just a fan of the slow burn and of world building–and am anxious for a bigger, better world to be built.

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Facebook Boldly Goes With New Like Options to Celebrate #StarTrek50

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If you’re a fan of Star Trek, you’ve probably made celebration plans in one way or another. But Facebook just gave you a few more.

Fans who have shown fandom toward Star Trek or science fiction will receive a slight modification to their “Like” options. A set of Star Trek options will appear instead of the typical emojis. According to Lindsey Shepard, Facebook Messenger’s marketing lead, the company brainstormed plans to celebrate the franchise’s anniversary for some time, eventually settling on the custom emojis.

Facebook’s new like options feature a starry Like, a Vulcan Salute for Love, Captain Kirk for Haha, Spock for Wow, Gordi for Sad, and Klingon for Angry.

Star Trek fans will also receive a custom greeting on Facebook today and have the option to customize their profile picture with a special Star Trek border.

Kanye and Drake Are Recording An Album Together. Should We Be Excited?

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When Kanye West was interviewed on Big Boy’s Neighborhood a few years ago, he was asked if liked any new music coming out. His answer was brief: Yes, he really liked that at-the-time new Drake track “Hold On We’re Going Home.” He liked it so much, in fact, he wished he’d recorded it.

Recently, Drake released his much-anticipated album VIEWS. The record underwent many forms and iterations, including its singles. Notably, the song “Pop Style,” which featured “The Throne.”

“The Throne,” if you forget, was what Jay Z and Kanye called themselves during their collaboration effort Watch The Throne. Many people made the same joke about Jay’s verse, it being about two bars, because everyone on the Internet is highly original like that.

It was a good song, though. Kanye had the best verse on the song. But on his Beats One OVO Sound Radio show, Drake debuted a Throne-less version of “Pop Style,” featuring another verse of himself. Eventually, that version of the track was the one that ended up on VIEWS.

Rumors swirled recently about Kanye and Drake recording an album together. It seemed more “fun idea” than “actually happening.” But then a strange billboard popped up in Los Angeles, which read “calabasas is the new abu dhabi.” The all-green billboard also displayed both Drake’s OVO owl and Kanye’s G.O.O.D. Music angel.

https://twitter.com/hhtycoon/status/770239934397571076

In a recent Vogue interview Kanye confirmed the suspicion: Him and Drake have been recording music together and will release a collaborative album.

Judging by the interview, and that Kanye and Drake are touring, it sounds much more in the development stage than a thing currently happening. But it’s worth the speculation: Are we excited about Kanye-Drake joint effort?

I ask because Drake and Kanye don’t necessarily bring out the best tendencies in one another. It’s bigness they’re after with each other; bigness in records, bigness in expectations, bigness in such an event. They’re would be an Internet listening session as Drake releases songs on his OVO Sound show. Some deal would probably be made so Kanye could release some tracks or a video on big brother Jay’s Tidal streaming service.

Speaking of which: Was Kanye’s Twitter rant about the streaming wars urged from his wanting to collaborate with Drake? Maybe, but interesting to consider regardless.

https://twitter.com/kanyewest/status/759436006810460160

Both Kanye and Drake released new albums this year; the records couldn’t sound any different. Kanye’s Life of Pablo was a frenetic, abstract collection with sounds heading inward. A dark subconscious permeates every song and when Kanye raps “Name one genius that ain’t crazy,” you have to believe he’s referring to himself. Drake’s VIEWS might be too long, but it exists more as structure for his pop records than an album. It’s a hit factory. He chased a global stardom with “One Dance” and “Controlla,” and succeeded.

But where do these two avenues intersect? Do they intersect? Yes, Drake was birthed from the new pop world Kanye created with 808s and Heartbreak—some of Drake’s best rapping was on “Say What’s Real,” a freestyle over Kanye’s “Say You Will.” And yes, Kanye and Drake sounded great together on posse track/LeBron mythos advertisement “Forever.”

Here’s the thing about waves: They always crash ashore.

But I remain suspicious. A Kanye-Drake joint sounds like a great idea…if it were five years ago. Drake buried the “Pop Style” version featuring The Throne because Kanye washed him on his own song. Drake’s formulaic stunting dated him when placed aside Kanye’s spastic energy. And one of Kanye’s favorite Drake tracks wasn’t even a Drake creation; “Hold On We’re Going Home” was a Majid Jordan record Drake basically hopped on, claiming it as his own. That very song helped instigate the main criticism against Drake: that he’s a wave-rider. That he’ll do anything to maintain his pop king status.

In many ways, this collaboration idea sounds wave-riding in some form, though it’s unclear whether Kanye’s riding Drake’s wave or vice versa. Maybe it’s both. But here’s the thing about waves: They always crash ashore. Let’s hope Kanye and Drake like the beach.

Ryan Lochte Suspended From Swimming For 10 Months

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Twelve-time Olympic medalist Ryan Lochte has been suspended by the United States Olympic Committee and USA Swimming for triggering a minor international incident after a night of drunken debauchery in Rio, according to reports from ESPN and TMZ. Locate will reportedly miss the 2017 world Championships as part of the suspension.

As you’ll recall, Lochte and three other U.S. swimmers—Gunnar Bentz, Jack Conger and Jimmy Feigen—drunkenly vandalized a gas station following a party the night of swimming’s final event at the Rio Summer Games. The whole thing likely would’ve gone unnoticed had Lochte not told his mother he’d been robbed at gunpoint. His mom, of course, repeated the story to a reporter, and Lochte went on to lie during an interview on The Today Show.

After the story unraveled, two of the swimmers—Conger and Bentz—were pulled of a U.S.-bound plane, and a third—Feigen—was forced to pay a $10,800 fine before was allowed leave Brazil. Lochte, who’d already left Brazil by the time his lie was exposed, lost four endorsements, though he was signed to compete in the new season of Dancing With the Stars.

As TMZ notes, Lochte’s suspension is four months longer than the one Michael Phelps received after his second DUI in 2014.

UPDATE: From ESPN:

Lochte will also not receive the $25,000 bonus the USOC awards to Olympic gold medalists (Lochte was part of the 4×200 relay that won gold in Rio) and will not be eligible for his monthly USA Swimming stipend of $3,250 during the suspension.

Lochte will also have to serve 20 hours of community service. Bentz, Conger, and Feigen were each suspended for four months, and Bentz will have to serve 10 hours of community service for violating the curfew for swimmers under 21.

Posted By: Taylor Berman

Star Wars! Blair Witch! Dancing Gosling! Here’s Your Fresh Toast Fall Movie Preview

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While a dark cloud looms over this year’s poor summer movies, studios and directors typically reserve their more grandiose projects–awards bait–for the fall. And this year looks packed as much as any other. Don’t worry, though, the Fresh Toast staff is here to highlight the movies you’ll want to see in 2016.

Snowden, Sept. 9

Whereas the intimate, surreal portraiture of NSA leaker Edward Snowden featured in Laura Poitras’ Citizenfour focused almost exclusively in their Hong Kong hotel room, Oliver Stone’s Snowden looks to take the long view. The question trying to be answered is simple: What created a guy like Snowden? A worthwhile question, though it will be hard to top Citizenfour, with its alienating and alarming vibes. Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s accent in the trailer, sounding like a navel orange sticks in his throat, isn’t helping matters.

Blair Witch, Sept. 16

The Blair Witch Project’s original trick was simple: Found footage. It heightened the proceedings. Though you might’ve suspected some chicanery on the side, you were never sure.  Director Adam Wingard, direct sequel to the original Blair Witch Project. But skepticism abounds if the mythology of the Blair Witch is really driving audience’s curiosity. Adam Wingard is at the helm, though, so there’s hope. His arthouse horror cult hit You’re Next was a bloody treat, and forever ruined running out of the house for me.

The Magnificent Seven, Sept. 23

To recap: This will be a remake of 1960’s American Western The Magnificent Seven, an adaptation of Akira Kurosowa’s 1954 classic Seven Samurai, which was influenced by American Westerns. Good, you’re caught up. What else do you need to know? For starters, this film has about every “cool guy” working actor in Hollywood: Denzel, Chris Pratt, Ethan Hawke, among others. Oh, and True Detective creator Nic Pizzolato helped write it. Also also, Training Day’s Antoine Fuqua directed. So basically: Every masculine puzzle piece you could ever want. 

American Honey, Sept. 30

What stage of Shia LaBeouf narrative are we in now? Whatever the media labels him, it always seems like they’re playing the role of catchup. The Outcast Shia, Bad Boy Shia, Rapper Shia, J.D. Salinger Shia, Maybe-He-Has-A-Drinking-Problem Shia. I guess we’re in Redemptive Shia stage, though that still feels behind. Regardless, American Honey looks great and Variety’s recent Shia LaBeouf profile only jazzed me further, revealing Shia was never given a script (his lines were given to him day of) and he got 12 tattoos (!) with the cast during filming. His knees now feature matching portraits of Missy Elliott. Shia explained, he isn’t a huge fan but  “‘But you’re in a tattoo parlor, and’ — he shrugs — ‘peer pressure.’ Whatever Shia mode we’re in, cherish him.

The Birth of a Nation, Oct. 7

Controversy surrounds this film, some good, some bad. When it premiered at Sundance, it received standing ovations and shook up the festival crowds, resulting in Fox Searchlight’s $17.5 million purchasing of the film. With all the hype, it seemed worth the price (though NYTimes film critic Manohla Dragis slightly tempered those expectations in her review). But rape allegations involving the film’s director and actor, Nate Parker, resurfaced, including news that his accuser had committed suicide in 2012. The problematic nature of such a revelation is clear and considering the film’s bold, confrontational tone, controversy will continue to surround its release.

The Girl on The Train, Oct. 7

When released in novel form, Paula Hawkins’ The Girl on A Train was near-instantaneously dubbed the next Gone Girl. So consider this a shocker: The Girl on The Train has been marketed as the next Gone Girl, but in movie form. Starring Emily Blunt, the adaptation will be on everyone’s radar come fall.

Moonlight, Oct. 21

Holy buzz. This movie couldn’t have more buzz. And watching the trailer gives us every reason to believe because, damn, this movie looks incredible. Following the turbulent life of an African-American man who survives his rough upbringing, he finds love in unexpected places, places that he struggles to accept. I don’t want to say anymore, because this looks like a film only possible to discuss after watching.

Loving, Nov. 4

Loving marks a bit of a turn for Jeff Nichols: His previous films all include either a surreal or heightened reality to them. But Loving appears straightforward though no less dramatic: An interracial couple who marry get sentenced to prison in Virginia 1958.

Doctor Strange, Nov. 4

Marvel is in its bit character phase of its approximately 47-phase plan to take over the movie industry. Doctor Strange, while an interesting character in his own right, might require a bit of convincing to get national audiences to pay attention. But the trailers haven’t entirely disappointed: They look like a trippier (if that’s possible), but not as good Inception. With Benedict Cumberbatch, Rachel McAdams, QUEEN Tilda Swinton, and Chiwetel Ejiofor, among others, maybe it will defy expectations.  

Arrival, Nov. 11

Each year now, we receive a major space-alien epic of some kind: Gravity, Interstellar, The Martian. Sci-fi, it seems, is cool again. Canadian director Dennis Villeneuve has earned worthy critical buzz through picture like 2013’s psychological thriller Prisoners and 2015’s supremely underrated Sicario. But this has received much more attention than his previous efforts and rightly so: Amy Adams stars as the world’s best linguist set to interpret alien communications. I wonder what Neil deGrasse Tyson will say about this one.

Manchester by the Sea, Nov. 19

If its reasoned expectations you want, then, well, why are you on the Internet? Anyways, you won’t be getting them with this film. The buzz surrounding Manchester by the Sea focuses squarely on star Casey Affleck, who’s said to have given a “tour de force” level performance in the film. Though his best roles have come in supporting efforts, I guess Young Affleck is a star: He was pretty good in this year’s Triple 9 at least. Expect plenty of Boston-sized accents and Boston-sized tears with this one.

La La Land, Dec. 2

Few movies earn my personal anticipation like this one: I’ve been following its development since it was announced Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone will star in director Damien Chazelle’s follow-up. Whiplash is both a rapturous cacophony and one of my favorite films of the 21st century. I’ve avoided trailers I’m so excited. My Fresh Toast colleagues tell me the above trailer is indeed a La La Land trailer, but it could be a frog swallowing a jackrabbit and I wouldn’t know. Hopefully, for your sake, it’s not. 

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story, Dec. 16

It’s Star Wars. As the further gamification of the franchise happens, we’ll be seeing films like Rogue One in between proper Star Wars installments. Considering the vast reaches of the Star Wars universe, the potential is there. Though the internet reacted in mass hysteria following the announcement that Disney had ordered reshoots for the movie, it seems like all is (mostly) good with the film.  

The Founder, Dec. 16

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ksLZEepQ0nA

Is it too early to call it the Keatonaissance? I’m calling it the Keatonaissance. Here’s the range of Keaton’s NBA Jam he’s-heating-up recent history: unhinged manic in Birdman, measured foundational piece in Spotlight, and wackadoo sideshow in Need for Speed (whatever, I’m counting it). This movie almost certainly feels like a heat check for Keaton: playing Ray Kroc, McDonald’s founder, during the inception of the golden arches. What kind of processed meat will he find on that bone? Who knows! But who isn’t willing to go there with Keaton at this point.

Assassin’s Creed, Dec. 21

Have video game-based movies ever worked? Well, Mortal Kombat was an essential rewatch and cultural touchstone in my youth so I’d say yes. But I guess it was also kind of a flop? I don’t know. Regardless, 20th Century Fox is betting a lot on Assassin’s Creed, like near $200 million a lot. And while the video game trend over the past decade was to move its storytelling into more cinematic avenues, whether that can still translate to the screen remains unknown.

Passengers, Dec. 21

(Teaser trailer yet to be released by Sony)

Little is known about this movie: It was heralded as the best unproduced screenplay floating around Hollywood for years. It involves Chris Pratt and Jennifer Lawrence. Morten Tyldum of Imitation Game fame directed. Two passengers on a distant space travel mission awaken 60 years early, due to a malfunction it the ship’s sleeping chambers. It’s got the right pieces, so be sure to keep an eye on it.  

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