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Poll: Would You Use This New Urinal To Wash Your Penis?

Sam Jones
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Poll: Would You Use This New Urinal To Wash Your Penis?

If necessity is the mother of invention, you can make your own assumptions about how this one came about.

Spanish entrepreneurs dreamed up the “Urinary 2.0,” a urinal-bidet combination. Sensors activate a “water curtain sudsy” that does its job in three seconds, complete with hot or cold water preferences and a drying feature. It’s a car wash! For your genitals! Nothing could go wrong!

Photo by Eduard Gevorkyan
Photo by Eduard Gevorkyan

They’re in the prototype phase now, which means someone either already has or is about to work up the courage to take the Urinary 2.0 on a maiden voyage. We can assume proper protocol is still being assessed for eye contact and small talk while your junk’s getting lathered up by a wall-mounted machine.

[poll id=”8″]

“Iceland, Sweden and Austria are among the cleanest countries in the world,” Spanish biochemist and businessman, and Urinary co-founder, Eduard Gevorkyan, told laInfo in a sweeping generalization about where people in these countries would want to put their penises. “There [these] certainly could succeed.”

 

 

 

 

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Which Netflix Cooking Show Should You Binge On?

Amy Hansen
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Which Netflix Cooking Show Should You Binge On?

[qzzr quiz=”263244″ width=”100%” height=”auto” redirect=”true” offset=”0″]

Take this quiz to find out!

This Dude Broke Into A House And Painted A Dog Purple

Taylor Berman
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This Dude Broke Into A House And Painted A Dog Purple

Crime struck idyllic Martha’s Vineyard this weekend when a man allegedly broke into a home, stole some things, and then painted the damn family dog purple.

The Cape Cod Times reports Felix Reagan crashed a stolen car early Saturday afternoon in a Martha’s Vineyard neighborhood, according to the Oak Bluffs Police Department. He then allegedly snuck into a nearby house through a first-floor window, reportedly stole several items and—for reasons unknown—painted the dog purple. Reagan was apprehended a short time later; police found a driver’s license and credit cards belonging to the owner of the vandalized home/dog in his possession, as well as prescription drugs. He was also caught, uh, purple-handed. (His hands were reportedly covered with purple paint.)

No word yet on what kind of dog was painted. We will, of course, update this post as soon as that information is revealed.

Did Gucci Mane Just Record A New Collaboration With… OutKast?!

Brendan Bures
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Did Gucci Mane Just Record A New Collaboration With… OutKast?!

In Gucci we trust. The lifestyle icon and trap god himself, Gucci Mane sure has occupied himself since returning home from prison. He released a new album, already announced another, and starred in a Supreme commercial directed by his old buddy Harmony Korine.

The work doesn’t stop either. During Labor Day, Gucci Mane bragged on his Snapchat about recording eight features that day, listing his collaborators. The names are mostly who you’d expect: Lil’ Wayne, Diplo, 2 Chainz, Quavo. But then Guwop dropped this little nugget: He also recorded a feature for OutKast.

So, yeah, we’re officially freaking out. Andre 3000 has made recent memorable appearances on Frank Ocean’s Blonde record and Travi$ Scott’s Birds in the Trap Sing McKnight. This news also comes on the heels of Big Boi announcing his next album will be a joint EP with Killer Mike, of Run the Jewel’s fame. And if you’re a super enthusiast, you remember Chris Rock humblebragging about being “hard at work on the new Andre 3000 album.” There was even Instagram proof.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BD6WjXGnUIJ/

Basically, here’s the thing: When Gucci Mane says he recorded a feature for OutKast, we’re not entirely sure what he means. Andre and Big Boi’s last album, Idlewild, was made with the pair barely speaking to one another. But following the reunion tour and that Andre verse on T.I.’s “Sorry” and maybe…

No we’re not letting our hopes balloon again. The possibility of another OutKast album is too tantalizing to conceive for-real happening. We’ll just assume Gucci Mane misspoke in some way and that OutKast isn’t releasing a record. Goodness, we hope we’re wrong.

UPDATE: Welp. It looks like we were right. The Fader reached out to Andre’s rep who said there’s no “Outkast news to report” at this time.

Is This The World’s Most Insane Coffee Drink

Jillian Peterson
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Is This The World’s Most Insane Coffee Drink

A coffee shop in Adelaide, Australia is getting loads of media attention for one of its coffee drinks, which is bordering on controlled substance territory.

The Asskicker is an iced fusion comprised of:

  • four shots of espresso
  • four ounces of cold brew that’s steeped 10 days
  • four ice cubes made from cold brew that’s steeped 48 hours

RELATED: Celebrating The Espresso Martini

And the whole thing is topped off with four more 48-hour cold brew ice cubes and a health warning:

https://www.instagram.com/p/9KLbJ0Bw3P/

“Caution: Persons with high blood pressure and/or heart condition(s) Drink at own Risk!”

Viscous Coffee made the drink for an ER nurse looking for something to keep her awake during a night shift. The Asskicker delivered in spades, keeping her up for three days as she slowly “nursed” the drink over a two-day period.

Viscous owner Steve Benington shared he toned down the drink after the incident, but warns the drink is still meant to be sipped over a three to four hour period.

Unfortunately, Viscous Coffee closed during Covid.

A Ristretto is the strongest coffee type! It’s similar to an espresso in the way that it’s made. Water is still pulled through coffee beans to create the coffee but a Ristretto uses less water. This makes the coffee shorter and stronger because the concentration of coffee and caffeine is higher.

But one serving size (8 ounces) is estimated that there’s about 95 mg of caffeine. This makes drip coffee the clear winner in terms of strength.

Potiquette: The Back To School Edition

Penelope Potter
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Potiquette: The Back To School Edition

Dear Ms. Pot,

I’m a philosophy professor at a school in the middle of cow country. There are two bars dominated by underage students, one Chinese restaurant, and a nice little inn where you can get a decent glass of wine with colleagues. That’s the extent of the social life around here, so we make our own. Once a week, a couple local musicians and I set up mics and rock out to the Rolling Stones in my living room, do tequila shots, and smoke pot. It’s very 1970s. Two or three of my students usually show up, too. So, Monday night I’m passing a joint to a student, then Tuesday morning I’m lecturing her on Kierkegaard. Kosher?

Puff Prof

———————-

Dear Puff Prof,

It all sounds very… Animal House. ‘Member that scene in the 1978 cult classic, where a shaggy Donald Sutherland creepily locks the door, lights candles, and shows his students how to properly smoke a joint while lazing around discussing the solar system. ‘Try not to drool so much on the end of it,” he wisely instructs.

Your scene sounds a little livelier. And harmless enough. Honestly, I’d be more worried about the tequila than the THC. Just be smart about it—which should come easy enough, since you are a PhD. You might recall that idiot high school teacher in Virginia who, earlier this year, let his student smoke up in class. This is off campus, after-hours. And as John Belushi’s sweatshirt reminds us: COLLEGE. If you taught, say, economics or law, I’d probably say un-invite your students to your soiree. But, philosophy? It’s all about expanding hearts and minds. Right?

With love and homework,

Ms. Pot

 

Here’s What You Need To Rock Malia Obama’s “Smoking Kills” Look

Sam Jones
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Here’s What You Need To Rock Malia Obama’s “Smoking Kills” Look

Malia Obama just earned herself the title of First Daughter of Shade, showing up to Labor Day weekend’s Made in America Festival in a DIY t-shirt that reads “Smoking Kills.”

She’s doing her summer of 2016 gap year right, hitting the festie circuit hard before heading to college next year. Some headlines ponder if this is punishment from her parents after her Lollapalooza puff-pass incident, while others proclaim her a hypocrite. Did the Obamas make her wear this? They don’t seem like the public-shaming-as-discipline type. Is she making it her personal mission to save the youth from the perils of smoking? Eh. As the coolest teen heading for Harvard, not the next Nancy Reagan, we’re guessing she’s simply being ironic af.

We have two more important items to discuss than her genius choice of normcore.

#1: What is the Secret Service directive on festival outfits? Plaid and dad-vests, from the look of this photo. Guys, just because the event is sponsored by Bud, doesn’t mean you have to dress like Seth Rogan.

#2: That lettering is tight. None of that “started the word too big, ended up with an ‘-ing’ scrunched at the end” business. Did she trace it out in pencil, first? Or is her freehand lettering just that good? Either way, standing ovation for flawless kerning.

If you’re as ready to rock this look as we are, here’s a handy starter kit:

Augusta Sportswear 710 Adult’s Ringer T-Shirt White/Black XL

Sharpie Permanent Markers, Fine Point, Black, 2-Pack (30162PP)

Harvard Crimson – Letter – Fitted Hat

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U.S. Cannabis Consumption Is On The Rise: Report

Al Olson
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U.S. Cannabis Consumption Is On The Rise: Report

For years, anti-cannabis advocates have warned that legalization and regulation of the herb would lead to a dramatic increase among teens. But a massive report released earlier this week by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention suggests that is simply not the case.

The CDC study is chockfull of fascinating data, but the key takeaway shows that more Americans are consuming marijuana and that fewer are abusing the substance, still considered a Schedule I drug by the federal government.

Almost 900,000 respondents  to the National Survey on Drug Use and Health, an annual federal survey of substance use.

A closer look at the CDC data shows:

  • Marijuana use (described as consumption in the past month)  is up 35 percent since 2002.
  • Americans 12 and older reporting cannabis abuse is 1.6 percent, down from 1.8 percent in 2002.
  • For teens, the percentage of abuse is down 37 percent.
  • For young adults, the percentage of abuse is down 18 percent.
  • Teen report that “easy access” to marijuana is down 13 percent.
  • Consumption among 12-to-17 year olds fell from 2.4 percent in 2002 to 1.6 percent in 2014.
  • Americans seeing “no risk” of using marijuana monthly doubled, from 10 percent in 2002 to 19.9 percent in 2014 .
  • Since 2002, marijuana use among Americans age 45 to 54 has jumped by nearly 50 percent.
  • Among those ages 55 to 64, it’s jumped by a whopping 455 percent.

For more on this week’s data, read these two stories from Christopher Ingraham of The Washington Post:

Marijuana Sales To Top $41 Million Over 3-Day Holiday Weekend

MJ News Network
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Marijuana Sales To Top $41 Million Over 3-Day Holiday Weekend

Like the cannabis holiday on April 20th (420) and the Fourth of July, Labor Day marks one of the highest grossing sales days in the cannabis industry. Once again, MJ Freeway takes a look at holiday trends in the cannabis market and gives some advice for what retailers can do to prepare for higher foot traffic in the coming weekend.

MJ Freeway’s retail data set, which accounts for 40% of the legal cannabis market and includes nearly $5 billion in retail sales transactions, helps businesses across the industry understand everything from sales cycles to inventory management and more.

“Cannabis is a young industry and it’s important to track trends early and often, which is why we’ve made it a priority to provide businesses with a full picture of high-volume sales days,” said Amy Poinsett, CEO of MJ Freeway. “The more we understand about the industry as a whole, the better we are able to provide our clients with solutions that they need for smooth and efficient business practices.”

Labor Day by the Numbers

  • In 2015, total cannabis retail sales exceeded $32M on Labor Day weekend (Sept 3-6, 2015), which represents a 43% daily increase from an average sales day.
  • In 2016, we expect Labor Day weekend retail sales (Sept 1-4) to reach $41M
  • Sales spikes begin the Thursday before Labor Day with Friday being the highest grossing sales day.
  • In 2015, individual cannabis licensed retail locations* – dispensaries and delivery services – sold on average $5,694 in retail sales on September 3, $7,266 on September 4, $5,985 on September 5, and$5,100 on September 6 in 2015, the four days of Labor Day weekend.
    *Note: One physical cannabis retail location may operate with two individual licenses – medical and recreational.
  • Customer traffic increased on average by 20% during Sept 3-6, 2015 as compared to a non-holiday sales day.
  • Individual customers spent on average $69.14 per trip Labor Day weekend 2015, a rise of 3% compared to customers visiting retail locations on an average day.

For more cannabis business coverage, visit the MJ News Network.

Green Party Presidential Candidate Jill Stein Flies To Wrong City For Ohio Rally

Brendan Bures
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Green Party Presidential Candidate Jill Stein Flies To Wrong City For Ohio Rally

Green Party presidential hopeful Jill Stein was scheduled to give a speech at Capital University in Bexley at noon today, but she wasn’t on time. Her convoy made a wrong turn. Like an airplane flying to a different city wrong turn. To be fair, who hasn’t been there before?

Instead of landing in Columbus, Ohio, Stein’s airplane ended up in Cincinnati due to a currently unknown error. Because you know what this election needed? More wacky antics. You would be correct in assuming the 2016 presidential race has become the world’s most popular reality TV programming of all-time. (Okay, Jersey Shore was probably still bigger.)

Apparently 100 people were waiting for Stein’s speech and will now have to wait two hours as Stein makes the drive to Cincinnati. This next part is totally serious: For those attendees willing to wait for Stein’s arrival, the campaign has ordered them pizzas.

That might be the saddest pizza party that’s ever happened. And that’s includes my night last Friday: a pizza party of one :(.

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