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Toblerone Bar Shrinks, Ruins Life For Everyone

Jillian Peterson
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Toblerone Bar Shrinks, Ruins Life For Everyone

Even if you only eat them from the mini bar in hotel rooms, you can recognize a Toblerone bar from a mile away. Those chocolate triangles lined up in formation, presenting themselves for consumption. The shape is iconic. And now, it kind of sucks.

Toblerone recently unveiled a new, less chocolatey version of some of their UK bars as part of a cost-cutting effort. The trademark zipper design has been replaced with less peaks and more valleys; something that looks like a candy thief ate half your snack.


The 400g Toblerone bar is now 360g and the 170g is now 150g (and widely sold in Britain).

Via Facebook, the company explains:

…like many other companies, we are experiencing higher costs for numerous ingredients. We carry these costs for as long as possible, but to ensure Toblerone remains on-shelf, is affordable and retains the triangular shape, we have had to reduce the weight of just two of our bars in the UK, from the wider range of available Toblerone products.

Toblerone goes on to say that they either had to decrease the size or increase the price. They chose the former, but still charge the same. Of course, this sparked some online drama from UK customers who felt like they’d been duped.

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It looks like a really underhanded thing to do. You buy a bar expecting a normal bar and it looks like you are getting half the chocolate.

Dear Toblerone, you had to make a choice between raising the price, reducing the size or becoming a laughing-stock, for some outtatouch reason you chose the latter?

You idiots could have just taken off one piece off the bar and retained the shape. That is, unless there is something even more fishy behind this change than just dropping 10-15 % of the chocolate. This new shape looks ridiculous and appalling.

Ricky Gervais offers this sobering conspiracy theory:

This is the first time Toblerone has changed the shape of its bar since its inception in 1908.

Toblerone is a Swiss chocolate brand owned by Mondelez International (originally Kraft Foods). Produced in Bern, Switzerland, sometimes manufactured elsewhere in the past, and planned to be made in Slovakia from the end of 2023. Toblerone is known for its distinctive shape, a series of joined triangular prisms and lettering engraved in the chocolate.

 

Please Watch These Four-Year-Old Kids Try To Do The Mannequin Challenge

Taylor Berman
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Please Watch These Four-Year-Old Kids Try To Do The Mannequin Challenge

What a week! Between the election and Leonard Cohen, we could all use a break. Thankfully, there are still some good things in the world, like the Mannequin Challenge, and some great things, like the little kids in the video below who are trying their best to do the Mannequin Challenge.

https://twitter.com/iiBreakNecks/status/796900590324285440

While those kids are no Paul McCartney or Hillary Clinton, we think they did a great job and should definitely keep trying. Plus, they’re already better at the Challenge than the executives for the Dallas Cowboys are.

As a bonus Mannequin Challenge video, check out Lebron James and the Cavaliers partaking in one at the White House with Michelle Obama.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BMpzaRVh5HL/?taken-by=kingjames&hl=en

The most essential daily news, entertainment, pop culture, and culture coverage. Want more? Check out “Wasp Swarms And Poop: WTF Is Going On In This Little UK Town?” “Donald Glover’s ‘Atlanta’ Obscures The Line Between The Real and Surreal,” and “Election 2016 Opt-Ed: A Clear Victory For Cannabis.” 

Liquid Kitchen® Presents: The Clover Club

Kathy Casey
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Liquid Kitchen® Presents: The Clover Club

What a week! No matter who you voted for, I’m sure a good cocktail is in order. Might I suggest something in pink? How about a well made Clover Club — a frothy pink drink that has a history dating back to at least 1911. Though this cocktail is pretty in pink, it was actually created for the gentlemen at the Philadelphia club of the same name. (See? Men do like pink!) The classic recipe called for grenadine or raspberry syrup, which gives it that beautiful pink color. My version gets an update with hand-crafted raspberry syrup. I think tossing back a few of these before this holiday shopping season begins sounds like a great idea right about now….

Clover Club

Makes 1 drink 

  • 2 ounces gin
  • ¾  ounce fresh lemon juice
  • ½ ounce Housemade Raspberry Syrup (recipe below)
  • ¾  ounce pasteurized egg white or 1 small organic egg white
  • Garnish: fresh raspberry on a pick

Measure in the gin, lemon, Housemade Raspberry syrup and egg white into a mixing glass. Fill the glass with ice, cap and shake. Strain into a cocktail glass. Garnish with a raspberry on a pick.

Housemade Raspberry Syrup

Makes enough for about 16 cocktails 

  • 2 cups fresh or frozen raspberries
  • 1 cup water
  • 1½ cups sugar

Add all ingredients to a blender and blend until smooth. Transfer to a small saucepan and bring to a boil. Lower heat and simmer for 5 minutes. Strain, bottle and refrigerate for up to two weeks.

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Kathy Casey is a chef, mixologist, and is known as the Original Bar Chef. Her newest book is D’Llish Deviled Eggs, which is a great accompaniment to any cocktail. Follow Kathy on Twitter and Instagram. For more great cocktail recipes, visit www.LiquidKitchen.com.

 

Werner Herzog’s Hot Take of The Day: Conference Calls

Taylor Berman
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Werner Herzog’s Hot Take of The Day: Conference Calls

Acclaimed filmmaker Werner Herzog is best known for his obsessions with the monumental issues of human existence: technology, art, beauty, death, the unforgiving brutality of nature, and the exploration of the unknown. But he also considers—and complains about—the banality of everyday life and the minutia of current events. Here is the German artist’s take* on being stuck on an interminable corporate conference call:

Am I in the wrong place here, or in the wrong life? Did I not recognize, as I sat in a train that raced past a station and did not stop, that I was on the wrong train, and did I not learn from the conductor that the train would not stop at the next station, either, a hundred kilometers away, and did he not also admit to me, whispering with his hand shielding his mouth, that the train would not stop again at all?

This has been Werner Herzog’s Hot Take of the Day.

*Technically a quote about the making of his 1982 film, Fitzcarraldo.

Live On The Fresh Toast Stage: DizTroy Featuring Versi

TFT Editors
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Live On The Fresh Toast Stage: DizTroy Featuring Versi

Music may run in the blood, but in this case it’s rooted soul deep. Made up of Troy Baker and Dale “Dizzle” Virgo, DizTroy is a production group that’s born and bred in Jamaica, and infused with British and American musical influences. UK-based producer Troy and Jamaican sound specialist Dizzle create songs that are rooted in Jamaican sound system culture and accented by various subgenres including hip-hop, EDM, and Brit pop, placing them at the forefront of the emerging electronic music scene. They bring ample amounts of attitude alongside an electric mash-up of music that is as creatively exciting as it is it technically complex. The self-taught duo’s music plays like an addictive flow that delves into EDM-inflected beats, reggae and dancehall infused hooks and a genre-eluding take on electro soul. They claim to draw inspiration from New York’s early hip-hop scene blended with Jamaican dancehall and the British R&B/Pop wave.

STDs For Everyone? Why Porn’s Prop 60 Failed In Cali

Maria Loreto
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STDs For Everyone? Why Porn’s Prop 60 Failed In Cali

California has had an eventful week to say the least. Many voters debated on issues of federal importance like taxes on tobacco, the legalization of marijuana (yay!), gun control, the death penalty and… condoms in porn?

That’s right. Prop 60 would have required porn performers to use condoms while filming movies. Proponents of the law argued for the safety of the stars, backed up by substantial evidence that claims that they’re in a much larger risk of contracting STDs than the general population. Duh.

The road for this proposition had been paved for a long time, with rulings in 2013 that forced the industry to be more strict with their testing due to complaints filed by several people regarding the industry’s lax guidelines and poor treatment. Presented as a healthcare and workplace safety measure, Proposition 60 appeared to be necessary and beneficial, even going as far as to make the studios pay for all the STD-related tests, vaccinations and countermeasures. Who wouldn’t want protection from STDs right? Wrong, or that’s what porn stars like Ela Darling and Jesse Jackman argue.

Proposition 60 would have given any resident of California watching the porn the ability to sue the producers or studios if they suspected the actors weren’t using condoms. The government would reward these national heroes with 25 percent of the collected fines if the lawsuit was successful. This whole process would leave the performer’s name on public record, exposing their address and personal information. Obviously, some porn stars were not too keep on this, claiming that in their line of work anonymity is a treasured privilege that protects them from stalkers or from extreme conservatives who’d want to harm them due to the way in which they make a living.

Ela Darling, a producer and performer, believes that the industry’s current STD testing system is a good enough protective measure and that the proposition would do more harm than good, punishing workers instead of protecting them. She insists that the industry wants to protect their workers on their own terms and that the government shouldn’t get involved with the way in which they handle their work.

Proposition 60 was defeated on November 8th with 53 percent of votes in their favor.

Everyone Freak Out: Starbucks Holiday Cups Have Arrived

Jillian Peterson
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Everyone Freak Out: Starbucks Holiday Cups Have Arrived

Step aside, President elect. This year, people are getting all the hopeful feels from Starbucks red cups.

It’s a big mea culpa of sorts for Starbucks. Last year, they introduce holiday cups that were void of any holiday adornments, sparking “War on Christmas” outcries. And now, they’ve unveiled the red cups for 2016 — 13 of them, to be exact — that look like  Christmas exploded all over them. If Santa Clause knocked up Sandra Lee with a baker’s dozen, it would be these cups.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BMoWwfNBOpP/

Ironically, the cups were designed from people across the country, who doodled their own designs on the War on Christmas cups of yore. Starbucks received the message loud and clear.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BMo_FMXgL-W/

Just last week, Starbucks introduce a green pre-election “unity” cup, which a lot of people mistook for a red holiday cup replacement. They were outraged! Oh, what a week can do to assuage First World problems.

According to Starbucks, they received more than 1,200 submissions in just eight days from 13 countries, many of which were featured in an online cup collection.

Next year, Starbucks will be celebrating the 20th anniversary of the red cup, which was introduced in 1997.

 

 

 

Watch: Ben & Jerry’s ‘One Sweet World’ Is Sappy AF

Amy Hansen
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Watch: Ben & Jerry’s ‘One Sweet World’ Is Sappy AF

Not ones to shy away from politics, Ben & Jerry’s ice cream has released an idyllic, over-simplified video encouraging us to put our differences aside and get the hell along already. The video was actually released prior to the election, but is now gaining momentum post Trump victory, for obvious reasons.

The thinly veiled video, which features a sour lemon with a leaf toupee and a peace-promoting cherry, takes place “in a land not so far away” called East Coneville, where politics has divided an otherwise fruitful community.

Here at Ben & Jerry’s, we’re concerned that the dominant message we see in society today is one of division. Whether it’s televised political debates or newspaper headlines, it’s sometimes easy to think the world is becoming increasingly divided. So, we’ve been thinking about how we can amplify a message of unity & love using the thing we know best… ice cream!

In the end (spoiler alert!), the fruits come together (because “we don’t live in a one flavor world”) to create One Sweet World, the name of the flavor B&J’s recently debuted in Europe.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BK_sO8pgbCF

The video could easily be a children’s book; it’s moral-based and heavy handed in its message to “give peace a chance” and “love one another.”

Here’s the video. Grab your blankie. And some ice cream.

 

Stolen SUV Chase Ends With Dog Saving His Owner From a Badger Hole

Sam Jones
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Stolen SUV Chase Ends With Dog Saving His Owner From a Badger Hole

This news story reads like an episode of Lassie, but instead of plucky children in peril, it’s dumbass grown men on the run.

When two good ‘ol boys decided to liven up their Thursday and allegedly steal a SUV, their loyal dog had no choice but to come along. He probably thought they were going to the park.

It was your typical morning in Ontario, Oregon: A stop at Jack in the Box for breakfast — maybe a Southwest Scrambler Plate with a side of mini pancakes — and then sharing that meal with your best buddy and dog. All from the sweet bucket seats of a stolen 2001 Chevy Tahoe.

It was beautiful, at least until the police spotted them. The trooper tried to pull the two men over in the parking lot, KVAL reports, but they then threw that glorious SUV into gear, jumped a curb, and hauled truck-nuts outta there.

The police called off the pursuit because of “safety concerns,” which should give you an idea of what kind of off-roading these guys were doing. It took several hours and land and air searches to find the first suspect, running on foot, and arrested him for Escape III and a parole violation. Not clear on what happened to Escapes I and II.

The search began for the other renegade — no, sorry, it was a Tahoe — when police spotted a dog on the loose. This pupper had been through a lot already, including a crash into a ravine where they found the vehicle. Now here he was, ready to lead authorities to his owner, 22-year-old Gregory Morrow.

When the dog disappeared down a badger hole, the cops followed, and later said they found Morrow stuck feet-first. He probably would have died of exposure down there, if not for this Good Dog who chose the side of good in this Grand Theft Auto experience.

Messy breakups, deranged antics, pets gone wild. The Internet car-crash you can’t turn away from. Want more? Check out “Best Commute Ever: Liquor Truck Crash Starts A Free-For-All,” “Boy Face Plants While Riding Bike in Background of Live Newscast,” “Naked Florida Man With Electronic Device Attached To Penis Arrested“

Man Nearly Pulls Off The Boldest Gold Heist Ever

Sam Jones
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Man Nearly Pulls Off The Boldest Gold Heist Ever

When you’re working at the Royal Canadian Mint employee, it’s probably hard not to wonder what would happen if you dropped a few gold nuggets into your pocket on the way to clocking out.

Or, in this former employee’s case, wondering what would fit up which orifice and make it past a metal detector unnoticed.  

Leston Lawrence took a total of 22 gold pucks, worth $165,000, and laundered 18 of those, worth $138,000, from the Royal Mint while working there. How did he pull off the heist? Let’s just say authorities found plastic gloves and Vaseline jelly in his work locker.

He transported the pucks, which are the size of “a small muffin” with the circumference of a silver dollar, through the building’s security gates and past a guard with a wand. In watching the footage posted on CBC, you can tell he’s walking a little funny — and doesn’t bend at all to put on his shoes after the screening. For good reason.

The metal detector went off when he walked through it, but when he was passed over with a wand, nothing happened. Turns out, those wands are really bad at finding what’s hiding in a body cavity. He likely thought he had a pretty good game going, repeating this process 22 times over four months.

The prosecution for this case deserves a gold… um… star: Kelly Egan, a reporter for the Ottawa Star, said in an interview:

There was testimony from the security people that they had actually tested this on a human being. And that when that person went through the metal detector, it went off. But when the person was given the secondary wand test, it didn’t go off. So to them this was further evidence that indeed this could very well have been the method by which these “pucks” had left the Mint.

Lawrence has been found guilty of possession of property obtained by crime, conveying gold out of the mint, and breach of trust by a public official, the CBC reports, and will go to sentencing on November 28.  

Just for shits and giggles, it’s worth noting the judge’s name for this case: Judge Peter Doody.

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