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Visualize the News: Melania Trump Interview, James Franco Likes to Headbutt People

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Within our hyper-accelerated news culture, it can be tough to keep up with everything. But maintaining an informed populace remains vital to our culture. So for those stories that don’t quite need your undivided attention, we’re helping you digest stuff with GIFS, pics, and whatever qualifies as a quick fix. Remember: Knowing is half the battle. The other half: Laughing at funny memes.

Fresh Toast Action News Interviews Melania Trump

When an 11-year-old Access Hollywood video that caught Republican candidate Donald Trump making inappropriate comments about women surfaced, it was thought to mark the end of his campaign. Trump, however, has bulled full steam ahead, further inculcating himself within conspiracy theories the media and the political machine and “probably aliens” are out to get him.

But as Election Day draws both nearer and father away in Trump’s eyes—repeated spray tan treatments include side effects of “unable to read dates properly”—one member of his inner circle has remained mum on the matter. That is, until now.

The length we went to capture this exclusive interview weren’t easy. We snuck into Trump Tower by handing the doorman a Sacagawea coin and somehow managed to lift our finger high enough to press the elevator button of Trump’s penthouse.  We share with you the raw footage of our Pulitzer-level journalism now.


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Ms. Melania Trump. This is Brendan Bures, with Fresh Toast Action News. I’ll cut right to the chase. What was your initial reaction when you saw that 11-year-old video of your husband’s derogatory comments toward women?


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And what about when he says he grab women by the—well, when he grabs them by their genitalia? What did you think of that?


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An eloquent response, Ms. Trump, though that lake water appear brackish. Here’s my Swimmer’s Ear drops for later. Now what might you say to other women now coming forward, alleging Donald Trump of sexual assault?


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Hmm. Not what I was expecting to hear.

Some have criticized of you playing the “innocent bystander” while your husband utters inchoate hatred and insanity. Furthermore, many find it impossible that you have never heard your husband spew any of this, as you call it, “boys talk.” To say this was an isolated incident that Billy Bush “egged on” and forced out of your husband, you would’ve had to ignore a lot of talk from a man who used to own the Miss USA beauty pageant, and who has also made many, many public comments on the physical appearances of women, some disparaging and some suggestive.

What do you say to those people?


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Well, okay then.

Last, where might people find you now until Election Day?


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James Franco Likes to Headbutt Things

That’s what one paparazzi photographer is alleging anyways. TMZ reports that Franco is being sued by David Tonnessen, who says Franco headbutted him during a Lana Del Ray show at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery back in 2014.

After Tonnosen had been taking photos of Del Ray, the suit claims “unprovoked, [Franco] viciously charged and head-butted [Tonnessen] in the stomach.” In addition, the suit describes Franco as “smiling, rather demonically… [with a] blank expression of joy on his face.”

Reading the allegations, you might assume this is how things went down.


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However, one of our insider sources (Editor’s note: We don’t have insider sources) describes the scene closer to this:


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Naked Hillary Clinton Statue Incites Fight

Yes, that’s unfortunately correct: A naked Hillary Clinton statue remained upright for three hours Tuesday in lower Manhattan before someone knocked it down. A 27-year-old artist set up the piece outside Bowling Green station and makes a rather tasteless political statement.

An anarchist political group, Indecline, had placed a naked Donald Trump statue in Union Square back in August, though that one only lasted two hours. The Clinton statue lasted just two hours before a fight erupted between the artist and a woman.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BLtFTUoDdQJ/

Our camera were lucky enough to capture a live shot of the crowd’s reaction when first seeing the statue.


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The most essential news, culture, entertainment, pop culture, and culture coverage that you need to know. Interested in more? Check out these stories: “Norway’s Prime Minster Is Really Into Pokemon Go and Gaming,” “Ken Bone’s ‘Journal’: A Fresh Toast Exclusive,” “Study: Annoying Ducks Who Loved To Honk Probably Woke Up The Dinosaurs Every Morning.”

Val Kilmer Stars In Hypnotic New Video For Oneohtrix Point Never’s “Animals”

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Who would’ve guessed that Val Kilmer’s best role in years would be in the glitchy, hypnotic new video for experimental electronic musician Oneohtrix Point Never’s “Animals.” But here we are.

The haunting clip shows a haggard Kilmer sitting and rocking on a bed, his eyes mostly closed in what appears to be contemplation as the video flickers in and out of rhythm with the song.

Between this and rumors of his appearance in Top Gun 2, it seems as though we may finally be getting the Val Kilmer comeback we all deserve. Watch the full video below.

The World’s Spiciest Chip Is Covered In ‘Carolina Reaper Dust,’ Sold One At A Time

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For whatever reason, there are a bunch of people who are totally getting off on eating the Carolina Reaper, the hottest chip on the planet, according to Guinness (it measures in at over 1.5 million on the Scoville scale). And no matter how hard they try to keep it together or how much milk they drink, they ultimately regret their decision.

For example:

Two girls, one momentary lapse in judgment.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mDF5QH2Ohl8

Two guys, one named Chili?

Unsuspecting bystanders who did not deserve this.

If the idea of chowing down on one of those babies is still appealing to you, here’s some good news: In an apparent attempt to cash in on this current strain on stupidity, a company called Paqui is selling a single tortilla chip coated in Carolina Reaper dust, as well as ghost pepper and chipotle seasoning.

Photo courtesy PAQUI
Photo courtesy of PAQUI

Starting October 1, risk takers can buy the chip for $4.99. But…if you enter a contest that requires you to film yourself eating one of these things, you get your chip for free and a chance to win even more Paqui chips! And a GoPro.

Ironically, Paqui is Aztec for “happy.” The world is a cruel joke on all of us.

(h/t Foodbeast)

UPDATE: video has surfaced of people taste-testing the chip. Enjoy!

Beer With Your Coffee: Starbucks Is Now Serving A Spiked Drink

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Either Starbucks has psychic powers, or they are super on-trend these days.

Just as a new study found that “coffee” and “beer” were the two most tweeted words of the past year, the company went and announced the launch of their first cocktail, which combines Starbucks espresso and beer. It’s called the Espresso Cloud IPA. And it’s basically a beer with a coffee chaser all in one. Or at least it can be.

According to the company’s blog, 1912 Pike, the drink is multi-faceted. First, a combination of ice, espresso, orange and vanilla is shaken together to create a frothy shot of flavored espresso. The foam is placed atop a glass of IPA and the espresso is placed in a shot glass, served alongside the beer. For the truly adventurous, the shot is then poured into the IPA, creating a “layered waterfall” effect (not to be confused with a “velvety cascade of deliciousness.”) So, you can either have yourself a coffee-flavored beer or you can have a beer with an espresso back. It’s like a chose your own adventure!

But forget words, the beverage is best visualized by actually watching a demo:

The drink is currently being served at locations that offer the Evening Menu (aka Starbucks wine bars).

If you want to throw caution to the wind and get a super buzz on (some might call it lightheadedness), this is the drink for you. If you like your Starbucks without the alcohol, but still frothy, you might want to try your hand at Starbucks nitro cold brew.

 

Consume is an essential source for food and beverage news, trends, tips, original recipes and everything in between. Want to read more? Try these posts: 11 Annoying Things About Menus, How Cannabis Sommeliers Are Making Dinner Parties Way More Fun, and Trump Or Clinton: Which Candidate Do You Eat Like?.

 

Hero on LSD Breaks Into Neighbor’s House to Save Dog From Imaginary Fire

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A heroic guy who loves to party was arrested last week after he allegedly took acid and broke into a neighbor’s house to rescue a dog from a fire that didn’t exist.

New York State troopers told WNYT that Michael Orchard took LSD and drank cough syrup sometime Thursday afternoon. Not long later, police say, he began to hallucinate that his neighbor’s home was on fire. He reportedly banged on the doors of other neighbors to ask for help.

Michael Orchard / Photo via NYSP
Michael Orchard / Photo via NYSP

When no one responded, he did what one does in such a situation and drove his black BMW through his neighbor’s fence and into his yard, smashed the back door’s window, sprinted inside, and emerged moments later triumphantly holding a big white dog.

“He believed that the residence was on fire and he was rescuing the dog,” Trooper Mark Cepiel, Troop G spokesperson, told WNYT.

The 43-year-old was arrested and charged with  third-degree criminal mischief and second-degree burglary, and jailed on $15,000 bail. When a reporter asked why he wasn’t charged with DUI or drug possession, Ceipel gave a matter-of-fact answer.

“He drove over yards and through the fence. At no point was he on the roadway and no illegal substances were found in his possession,” he said. Good to know.

Despite the dangers of imaginary house fires and being carried by a man ripped on acid, the dog was unharmed.

Does Weed Go Well With The Holidays?

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Dear Ms. Pot.

I recently went home from college for the Jewish holidays and my parents made me go to temple.  I felt 14 again. I had no choice but to make the time at temple more… interesting and weed-y. Am I going to hell?

Love,

Josh the Jew

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Dear Josh the Jew,

Jewish people and pot actually do pair well together, I have to say. Better than Episcopalians and pot, in my experience. It’s not entirely clear why this is, but it’s true. Talk to any former East Coast summer camp counselor or any undergrad at Brandeis (47 percent Jewish, obvi) or Emory (17 percent jewish, which –for you gentiles out there–is considered high). They’ll tell you getting stoned (and still wearing tie-die) is de rigueur. As much a part of the culture as Chinese food on Sundays.

Still, there is a time and place. Before teaching 10-year-olds tennis for the ninth time on a 90-degree day? Yes. Playing Neil Young on the guitar with a bunch of friends in the dorm room? Duh. While baking challah in your new apartment with your boyfriend? Of course.

But before a somber, three-hour service with your family and all of those well-dressed adults from synagogue you grew up dodging kisses from?  Nah…  It’s only going to make the dreadfully long service even longer.

Not to mention: Yom Kippur is meant to be Day of Atonement, where you’re supposed to apologize for your sins— not come in with bongs a-blazing. Also. Fasting all day after smoking pot? That’s basically impossible! Have you even seen these munchies from around the world!?

Here’s a better idea: Next year, save smoking until day’s end, and sneak a little with your sister before piling into the family station wagon bound for break-the-fast at your mom’s friend Deborah’s. The bagels and kugel and brisket will taste that much better. Bon appetite!

Smokily yours,

Ms. Pot

Watch Stephen Colbert Help Obama With His Upcoming Unemployment

Unemployment is a terrifying proposition. The repetition of numbing failure is the worst part. Any wave of useless optimism you were riding will crash into a crippling anxiety by day’s end. Getting a job in today’s market isn’t easy.

So thank goodness Late Show host Stephen Colbert is helping one man who soon face that very dilemma: President Barack Obama. Colbert transforms into his middle-manager persona, Randy, to run through a practice interview with Obama.

He includes tongue-in-cheek questions like “Where were you born?” and asking why Obama’s leaving his current position as president. Obama informs him the 22nd amendment mandates his stepping down, Colbert replies, “When you say staying in your job would be unconstitutional, what employers hear is that you stole office supplies.”

Really it’s a problem we all face when re-entering the workforce, right? Check the video below.

Celebrity gives you the latest in news, videos, updates, gossips, and more than you’ll ever need. Interested in reading more? Check out these posts: ‘Idiocracy’ At 10 Years Old: Surreal And All Too Real10 Women Elon Musk Should Follow on TwitterDrake Visits Drake University, Students Fear He’s A Killer Clown.

Cannabis-Infused Wine Is Now Available In California

Cannabis-infused wine is nothing new, but it’s certainly becoming more trendy, especially now.

Mary Jane Wines is now selling small batches of the stuff exclusively to those who carry medical marijuana cards in the country’s ultimate wine region, California. The company is run by two marijuana pioneers: Verdad Wines owner Louisa Sawyer Lindquist and marijuana dispensary owner Lisa Molyneux.

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While recreational use of marijuana is legal in states like Washington and Colorado, it’s illegal to mix alcohol with cannabis.

A half-bottle of Mary Jane wine, made with sterilized hemp seeds and Cannabidiol extracrun, will set you back as much as $400. Current varietals include Malbec and Chardonnay.

Even cancer survivor Melissa Etheridge has her own wine tincture (the legal term for weed-infused wine, also known as “green wine”) using Molyneux strains. Earlier this year, she told the LA Times that canna-wine was the perfect companion for her while she was going through chemo because she couldn’t smoke or vape.

On November 8, Californians will decide the fate of Prop 64, which would make recreational marijuana legal. And as of right now, it’s leaning in the direction of passing.

Consume is an essential source for food and beverage news, trends, tips, original recipes and everything in between. Want to read more? Try these posts: 11 Annoying Things About Menus, How Cannabis Sommeliers Are Making Dinner Parties Way More Fun, and Trump Or Clinton: Which Candidate Do You Eat Like?.

 

Try Not To Get Turned On By This Woodsy Carbonara

If you’re sick of celebrity chefs talking over the sound of knives running through pork fat and rambling about their childhood memories with nana in front of a fake television set kitchen, Alex Almazan is your answered prayer.

Turn your sound up and enjoy 13 minutes of peace, as Almazan makes carbonara in the woods:

Every motion is soft and measured, never sloppy, always thoughtful. It’s the opposite of how most people cook outdoors: Armed with a can opener and a camp stove.

He swirls his fingers through the flour, sprinkles in salt, and gently adds eggs before breaking the yolks with a level of attentiveness unmatched if he’d laid them himself. Seriously, it’s borderline NSFW.

Next comes the smoked pork meat, which he notes is “homemade,” so you know he whispered sweet soothing words to that pig before sacrificing it to the gods of the forest kitchen. Moving on to two perfect garlic cloves, he taps them lightly with a rock — wow, this is much nicer than the smash-it-to-death with the bottom of a heavy coffee mug method.

The bunch of parsley is thwapped down on the rock slab, to make it extra clear that he’s going for that ASMR vibe. If you’re getting a little turned on by this video, rest assured that it’s intentional. Subtle and classy, but intentional. Sizzling the pork fat in a pan over the fire, rolling out the pasta dough with floury hands, shredding the pecorino cheese with a sh-sh-sh sound — yeah, this guy’s got a nice mic. Don’t even talk about the stirring of the eggs and cheese together.

He doesn’t speak a word throughout the entire video, but he probably sounds like a mix between Bob Ross and Ron Swanson. If you’re craving more, the Disney prince of cooking videos also made pork sandwiches with the help of an owl, and lamb roast cooked for four hours in a clay pot.

Here’s the ingredients list for carbonara, from the YouTube description:

Forest Carbonara

  • 4 free-range eggs
  • 1 cup grano duro flour
  • 1/2 tsp. salt
  • 150g pecorino cheese
  • 200g smoked pork meat (homemade)
  • 2 garlic cloves
  • handful of fresh parsley
  • 1/2 tsp. black pepper
  • olive oil

The preparation directions, you’ll have to gather from watching the full video above.

 

Consume is an essential source for food and beverage news, trends, tips, original recipes and everything in between. Want to read more? Try these posts: 11 Annoying Things About Menus, How Cannabis Sommeliers Are Making Dinner Parties Way More Fun, and Trump Or Clinton: Which Candidate Do You Eat Like?.

Frank Ocean Can’t Win A Grammy, But Does He Really Care?

Here’s a sort of cynical (and internet hipster) take on the Grammys: the right people never win at the right time. Leading up to the musical pageant, media discussions divert down two paths—who will win and who should win. This roughly translates to most popular nominee vs. the critic’s choice. That critic’s choice sometimes assumes the people’s choice, a.k.a. who the passionate fans of said category who live and breathe the musical genre would’ve chosen.

One famous, very triggering, dude-felt-so-guilty-about-winning-he-wrote-that-song-about-it example was when Macklemore won Best Rap Album over Kendrick Lamar. On no planet in the known universe is Macklemore’s The Heist better than Kendrick’s good kid, m.A.A.d City. But more people, particularly (white) voters, heard Macklemore’s “Thrift Shop,” “Same Love,” etc., because they received heavy radio rotation. A similar snub occurred this year, according to the hip-hop community, when Taylor Swift’s 1989 beat out Kendrick’s To Pimp A Butterfly. From this perspective the through line is simple: the Grammy’s don’t understand, or care to understand, rap.

Perhaps that point of view, though, could be dismissed as fans and media whining. It’s not, but that’s the rebuttal anyways. That argument loses weight when considering the many musicians who have publically come out against the award show, including Jay Z, Nine Inch Nails’ Trent Reznor, Eddie Vedder, Kanye West, Metallica, Sinead O’Connor, and more.

The Grammy’s tries playing (kind of) nice sometimes and correct past mistakes, like awarding Beck Album of the Year in 2015 for his record Morning Phases. Beck is an artist deserving of a Grammy surely. But he beat out Beyonce’s self-titled release, an incredible artistic expansion that through its visuals re-shaped our understanding of what a pop album could be these days. So no one liked that, either, especially Kanye.

Frankly, all this past history of snubs and rightful winners is boring. It reminds me of high school drama: all so important and emotional when you’re in it, but with a little distance, you succumb to a resigned apathy. You’re surprised some past version of you cared that much.

Billboard revealed Monday that one premiere pop talent would not be winning a Grammy this year. That would be Frank Ocean, a man with two Grammys to his name. (Another important snub we—sigh—fretted at the time: when .Fun beat out Frank for Best New Artist.) Apparently Frank and his team did not submit either Blonde or his visual album Endless in time—though, due to its Apple Music exclusivity and the Grammy’s rules, Endless might not have been eligible anyways.

Because Frank famously departed from his label Def Jam this year, self-releasing Blonde, and labels typically handles these arrangements for their artists, some speculated Frank’s team goofed up. An oversight, of sorts. But a source told Billboard that Frank and his team knew of the deadlines and made a decision not to submit. They opted out of the Grammy’s games. (Maybe it’s the cool move now not to give a shit about prestigious awards?)

Frank Ocean has withdrawn from many artistic enterprises we consider traditional this year. To promote his albums, Frank did virtually no press, save a few Tumblr posts. He found a loophole out of his contract with Def Jam to ride solo. His visual album Endless prompts some aggressively plodding, blue-collar visuals. No late-night appearances to re-invigorate interest or introduce his art to outside audiences. Blonde was just made available last month on Spotify. And now there’s this declining of the Grammys that has addled and upset so many artists previously.

Through his art and (lack of) public persona, Frank has furthered his notion as an outsider artist. He isn’t messing with the mainstream. If everyone’s been playing football for decades, Frank’s starting a non-profit Quidditch league. He’s drawing smaller numbers and exposure, but his audience remains significant. He’s speaking directly to the people he wants in the exact manner he wants. Frank Ocean not participating in the Grammys further enamors him to those fans anyways; it’s the move he’s supposed to assume as the truly independent artist he’s crafted himself as.

The Grammys is an institution and corporate affair, which is everything Frank stands against. With all the bad blood surrounding the awards, what would he gain from playing their game? He’s already got their trophy.

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