Saturday, December 13, 2025
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1500 U.S. Partiers Blown Into Canada During Tipsy River Float

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“There were Americans everywhere.”

This was the nightmare the Canadian Coast Guard’s Peter Garapick faced on an otherwise pleasant Sunday afternoon, when 1,500 of these showed up on Ontario’s shores:

The annual Port Huron Float Down, a time-honored tradition spanning 39 drunken years of drifting lazily along the St. Clair River, took a turn for the very ridiculous as 30 mph gusts blew their inflatable rafts into Canadian waters.

“The people who take part in this are not mariners,” Garapick told CBC. Or thinkers, apparently. “They don’t look at the wind, the weather and the waves. We knew from the get-go, the winds were going to cause a problem. There’s no question they were involuntarily coming to Canada.”

Involuntarily, and illegally: Some in the wayward party tried to swim back to America, with little luck. The coast guard rounded up the soggy trespassers and escorted them back to the States.

On their country-crossing walk of shame, some Canadian passers-by donated the shirts off their backs. America, we have a lot to learn from our neighbors to the North.

These Sand Sculptures Will Change Your Outlook on Life

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No other art form more closely resembles the experience of life than sand sculptures. There’s the painstaking dedication it takes to be great, the liability of it all washing away at a moment’s notice, and the chance a kid can upend everything when you’re least expecting it. Maybe that’s why these sand sculptures resonate so deeply: They reveal something about ourselves. That something: We’re still pretty damn immature these days. Thanks for the reminder, sand sculptures.

Why Frank Ocean Is The Perfect Star For Our Digital Age

Was the art worth the wait?

Following four years of online agitated anticipation, of Tumblr rumors and Canadian DJs tweeting false hope, Frank Ocean released not one, but two albums: the zenlike Endless, a visual koan and possible woodshop promotional video, and Blonde, a sonic labyrinth tempting disappearance of self, the way a first-time visitor loses oneself in a brand-new, beautiful city. Virtuosic, intimate, gorgeous both, but those are conclusions not reached immediately, and possibly only following repeated listenings.

Because in each case, the first voice you hear does not sound like Frank, in one case I mean that literally, in the other figuratively. “With this Apple appliance, you can capture live video,” the German artist Wolfgang Tillmans intones, voice distorted, to begin Endless, chanting “blurry, blurry, the line,” before Frank sets the mood desired with a crackling “At Your Best (You Are Love)” cover. The message: If Frank’s pure croon is what you seek, you’ll have to wait a little longer.

So too is the case with “Nikes,” the opening track to Blonde. Though it’s Frank’s voice, it’s twisted, garbled, a radio broadcast from a separate planet, the source perhaps an alien species. Halfway through, Frank proper comes through, but he’s singing backup vocals to the chipmunk soul singer on display. You’d be excused for thinking Frank remained in hiding after all this time. When that familiar, lovely voice sings “We’ll let you guys prophesy,” it’s almost relieving to hear the man still exists within his own myth.

And who is that man? Frank Ocean reveals himself to be a multi-faceted soul producing art about our collective struggle to connect in an isolated, digital world. It isn’t easy either: relationships burst and meaning is duplicitous. But that doesn’t stop Frank from trying — singing (and rapping!) his damn heart out.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BJWVPdmj8hQ/

But still it’s slippery pinpointing Frank, even within “Nikes” alone. What version of the song are we discussing: The album version? The “Nikes” video that dropped as a single ahead of the album? Or perhaps the pop-up store album “Nikes,” which features Japanese rapper KOHH spitting fiery-sounding bars you likely don’t understand? “I got two versions,” a Hulk-sounding Frank says on the video “Nikes,” parodying (parroting?) his Tumblr post from a year ago, when he showed off his “Boys Don’t Cry” magazine. Back then the phrase pointed to two issues of the mag, and immediate speculation following the releases meant his two albums. But it seems more and more likely Frank’s referring to himself.

Multiple identities abound in our digital age. The smartphone age, more accurately. The avatar of your online persona differs from the you with family which varies from the you with your partner that isn’t anything like the you alone on a Saturday night. Anxious, isn’t it, living that kind of double or triple life? That stress only builds once you stop assuming you’re the only one performing these multiple roles day to day. In meeting someone new, for friendship or more, around the time everything starts gelling pleasantly, it’s difficult for an insidious thought not to pop into your head: “Yeah, but is this the real them?” And then: “Am I even being the real me?”

More than any other singer, more than any other contemporary artist really, Frank taps into these modern, mistrusting sentiments. “Things I wouldn’t tell nobody / Some things I didn’t even tell me,” he wails in Endless’ “Alabama,” inexplicable even to himself (him too? thank goodness). All the while multiple Frank clones toil away, not talking to one another, pausing for an occasional phone break. He’s pleading for genuine connection, begging to hear, “What can I do to know you better than I do now?” And also: “What can I do to love you more than I do now?” And of all singers to accompany such a sentiment, he chooses Sampha, someone who clings to inscrutable self-preservation as much as, if not more, than Frank Ocean (which is saying something).

He lashes out as much as he self-lacerates. “N****s tryna go pop, I draw contact / With my facemask,” he raps on “U-N-I-T-Y.” Yes, rapping. He’s done it previously, but none more so than on these projects, further erasing all the social lines aiming to trap him. But as soon as he fronts, he confesses in the same breath: “Perusing the MoMA / I’m all on my lonely, burst in tears / On his shoulder and it’s so cold cause he sculptured.” I couldn’t imagine a sadder image and turn-of-phrase: Even art doesn’t comfort the artist, but the air-conditioned stone is all he has to combat his isolation.

On previous projects Channel Orange and nostalgia, ULTRA. we heard these kinds of therapy session admissions. What’s always drawn listeners to Frank has been his vulnerable sincerity. He didn’t hide behind typical postmodern flaunting nor did he lie. And even when he did, he immediately subverted that posturing, as mentioned above, or would blurt out the truth, like a child unable to keep up his charades.

“I swear I’ve got three lives / Balanced on my head like steak knives,” goes that famous phrasing on Orange’s rapturous “Bad Religion.” That song, one of the artist’s best, most closely correlates to what’s found on Blonde. But whereas he divulges those “three lives” then, he acts them out now, through audio manipulation and various characters coming in and out like vignettes.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BJUjXooD3jP/

In the video for “Nikes,” not only does Frank present multiple selves—the mascara-wearing loner drinking by himself, the glitter glam pretty, the stripped-down singer donning streetwear—there’s the way a camera shot of a Jacuzzi party gives way to a nude woman swimming majestically, like a mermaid, lingering peaceful through the water. Then how the camera cuts back further to reveal that the woman’s been floating in a fish tank, another camera capturing this image. It’s like some giant game to figure out what’s really going on here.

It’s all a confrontation: What do you chose this to mean?

The duplicity extends to the lyrics, too. “Solo,” Frank repeats in the track with the same name, and when he sings “Riding solo,” very quickly its meaning morphs to “Riding so low” as well. An example of great songwriting, sure, something Frank’s always excelled at. But the hook elevates into pure poetry with “It’s hell on Earth and the city’s on fire / Inhale, inhale there’s heaven / There’s a bull and a matador dueling in the sky / Inhale, inhale there’s heaven.” But does he mean “in hell, in hell there’s heaven”? Or possibly “Inhale, in hell there’s heaven?” It’s all a confrontation: What do you chose this to mean?

But it’s the moments with Frank, the storytelling bits we cling to. “Did you call me from a séance / You are from a past life,” he raps in the trippy “Nights.” (Never had I heard the online concept of “ghosting” expressed so purely.) And in “Good Guy,” regarding a hollow night meeting a blind date in New York, he tosses off, “You text nothing like you look,” capturing such a universal millennial sentiment. Add to that this from “Futura Free”: “Remember when I had that Lexus no / Our friendship don’t go back that far.” Such alienation in a hyper-connected world, and yet so familiar the feelings as well. No wonder we can never get enough of Frank.

No doubt: This is an artist excavating himself deeply and thoroughly, working really, really hard to express his entire self as fully as possible. This is all of me, these various multitudes, these numerous sounds, these alternate forms of art, he seems to be saying. Before Frank showed how he viewed the world, but the leap between projects is clear: We’re in his world now. In it, covers and original songs blur as similar expressions. Artists like Beyonce and Kendrick Lamar provide background vocals and Andre 3000 fires poetic nuclear explosions through machine-gun bars. His mother and younger brother make appearances, shaping how we see Frank and what makes up him.

What’s most clear about Frank’s world is rather simple: In it, he can be whoever he wants. The albums double as a totemic war he’s waging to defeat all the barriers–self-manifested and social expectations–confining him. With the print magazine “Boys Don’t Cry”—released exclusively at pop-up shops—the visual album Endless, and the audio tour de force that is Blonde, Frank’s statement is total. He cannot be reduced. He isn’t one idea, or one person. He’s all of it, a self as boundless and beautiful and mysterious as the ocean itself.

Koko The Gorilla Charms Flea With Terrible Bass Skills

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Koko, a gorilla best known for being semi-fluent in sign language, and for her love of cats and Robin Williams, recently met the Red Hot Chili Pepper’s Flea. The two seemed to get along just fine, and she even tried to play one of Flea’s basses. Not to be rude, but after listening to two short snippets of her plucking away, it’s clear Koko can’t play bass for shit.

https://twitter.com/BassGuruApp/status/766818853640818689

Flea seemed charmed by her efforts, though. “This is the greatest thing that could ever happen,” he said. “This is the day I’ll never forget in my life.”

Of all the wild things a 53-year-old rock star has seen, we doubt a gorilla playing a bass cracks the Top 50. But it’s still a nice thing to say.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BJTRDpRAxet/

Potiquette: Should I Smoke Weed With My Dad?

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Dear Ms. Pot,

The other weekend, I was visiting my parents at our family cabin on Martha’s Vineyard. One night, after a big lobster feast, it was just my dad and I, hanging out on the porch. I’ve always known he kept a stash of pot hidden inside the little ceramic sailboat on the steps (much to the delight of my friends and I) though he never knew I knew. But, well, now he does… because we smoked it together. And I’ll be honest: it was awkward. You probably shouldn’t smoke pot with your parents, huh?

Thanks for your thoughts!

Baked in Boston

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Dear BIB,

First of all, do you really think your dad didn’t know that you knew he keeps “a little pot” on the porch of his place on Martha’s Vineyard? Especially if you’ve been raiding it all these years! Dads who smoke pot aren’t dumb–just maybe a little slllooooowww. Regardless, sounds like you two never spoke about your shared pastime— and now, for some reason, you decided to get stoned together.

I mean, it’s not the ideal father-daughter activity. Sailing, swimming, cooking lobsters… that’s typically what parents and kids do together on the islands off Massachusetts.

However, as legality looms, I think that as long as you’re old enough to drink a beer with your dad, you are old enough to light up with your dad.

That said, it begs the question, which you’ve pretty much already answered: Is it fun to smoke pot with your parents? Do they make you laugh? Or are they sort of bummers? Depends on your relationship, of course. (And if your family is the type who guzzles G&Ts together before sunset anyway, maybe adding marijuana to the mix isn’t such a stretch?)

Will you and your father burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter over that time you were five and threw up on the ferry?

Still, consider the consequences: Will you and your father burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter over that time you were five and threw up on the ferry and it whipped back in the wind and onto the face of the stranger sitting next you? (Wait, that happened to you, too?)

Or will you get super paranoid that your father thinks you’re a failure because you live in a one-bedroom apartment on Beacon Hill that he still has to pay for? Or will you sit in silence staring up at the stars, sharing a sort of sweet moment together until your mom comes out and asks you to empty the dishwasher?

Traditionally, smoking pot has been something you do when you’re decidedly not with your parents. It’s great that you’ve always got a stash to smoke on your summer porch (thanks Dad!). Still, maybe I’m too nostalgic, but I think that’s what friends—not fathers— are for.

Love,

Ms. Pot

The Benefits Of Being An Ugly Guy

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I’m not handsome. I’m not moderately handsome, I’m not classically handsome, I’m not even Turner Classic handsome. Now before you all climb atop your self-esteem high horse– I’m not saying I’m a bad person. I’m just saying I’m a bad looking person. There’s a difference. The two are not mutually exclusive. Most people can find a celebrity they resemble. The closest thing to a celebrity look-alike I have, is that gorilla they killed at the Cincinnati Zoo. You tenderhearted folk out there; don’t feel sorry for me– I don’t. I have thus far lived an interesting and fulfilling life, despite my physical shortcomings.

It may some crazy, but there are benefits of being an ugly guy, let me share some.

Being self-aware 


Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. dreamed of a world where people would be judged, not by the color of their skin, or any other physical attributes, but by the content of their character. When you’re ugly, you live this dream every day of your life! I have to be a good, decent person to get anywhere in life. I literally can’t afford not to be. People don’t take crap from you when you’re ugly. They will also call you out on any shortcomings you have. And if you don’t have any shortcomings– they’ll make some up. That’s why I’m hyper aware of my flaws and faults. Being self-aware is one of the keys to success. Attractive people have a very distorted view of their abilities. They’re told they’re good at everything so when they eventually try something they’re not good at on a big stage– they get embarrassed. Ugly people don’t have to go through that. We suffered our embarrassments years prior. So the next time you’re feeling down for being ugly; remember– you’re living out Dr. King’s dream!

RELATED: Science Explains How Marijuana Inspires Awe 

Drama free
This is something I know well. When I was in college I worked at a supermarket. One of my  co-workers was attractive and I wasn’t. Because of this– the young ladies we worked with wanted his attention– not mine. One day that created a makeshift love triangle. The ensuing chaos almost cost them their jobs. Not mine! I put my nose to the ground and did my work. I worked so hard I even got a bonus award for my outstanding customer service! See sometimes, being ugly really, truly pays off!

Why are Abraham Lincoln’s accomplishments more celebrated than JFK’s? Because he was ugly!

Judged less
Look like a hot mess if you want to. Wear something tacky… go ahead. Ain’t nobody got time for you! You’re ugly. You have a free pass to look however you want. No one will say anything. You like wearing brown, but it just isn’t your color? That’s fine, wear it– because no one’s paying attention to you! Clothing should be worn for oneself–not for the pleasure and approval of others, and when you’re ugly you get to live that rewarding life principle every day!

Low expectations
Why are Abraham Lincoln’s accomplishments more celebrated than JFK’s? Because he was ugly! That’s why! Most world leaders and history makers have been of the ugly variety. They had to do great things to find fulfillment in life. Beautiful people can be content with a vapid and utterly unfulfilled existence, simply because being beautiful is its own reward. Ugly people have to work harder for success. You know what? I’m even gonna put this out there. If Lincoln was handsome– the Civil War might never have happened. Yeah, the South had their grievances, but if Lincoln was just a tiny bit attractive they would have probably said: “Maybe we could work things out with old Abe.” When they saw his ugly mug in the paper, they were like hell, no– we’re seceding!

Infinite Wisdom
Ugly people are wise as hell. We have to be. If we didn’t show our value to our attractive counterparts– we would have been cast out of society generations ago. Look at movies. The wisest people are always ugly. Yoda, Master Splinter, Mr. Miyagi. All ugly! Now two of those weren’t even human but whatever. Ugly is ugly.

You’re used to being ugly when everyone else eventually gets ugly
God may not like ugly, but he sure loves ugly people! History and nature is proof of that. Those of us that are lucky enough to reach old age, realize this. We all end up ugly. This usually has a devastating effect on the attractive. When so much of who you are and your self-worth is centered about your beauty– when it’s gone– you have nothing. Us ugly people had to develop personal and social skills which has enriched our souls. That’s the wind beneath our ugly wings that carry us through our golden years as we slip the surly bonds of earth.

So as far as being ugly goes, that’s the short and long of it. If you’re not one of the beautiful people, don’t fret. As you just read, you got a lot going for you! Just work hard and remember: Eventually, everyone else is going to be ugly too.

Now This Is How You Celebrate Olympic Gold

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This year’s Olympics have provided us with plenty of memorable moments and memes to fill any jingoistic reserve. There’s the ongoing #LochteGate, which cause further captivation and chuckles at every new turn (and there’s been a lot). We saw Hiroki Ogita, the Japanese pole vaulter, prove sometimes size does matter (amirite, ladies?). And don’t forget Vince Staples keeping it too real about horse-racing and Simone Biles.

The 2016 Rio Summer Olympics: The gift that keeps giving content.

Risako Kawai won gold against Belarus’ Mariya Mamashuk in the freestyle -63kg class championship match. It was Japan’s fourth women’s wrestling gold. But instead of lifting team leader Kazuhito Sakae atop her shoulders like previous Japanese winners, Kawai had a different idea.

She would slam her coach. Twice.

https://twitter.com/SimonNRicketts/status/766594078926667776

“Before the final, the coach said he wanted me to lift him on his shoulders,” Kawai told the Japan Times. “The three wrestlers the previous day all won gold so they got to do that, and I said I wanted to be first to slam him and he let me do it.”

BBC Accidentally Airs Couple “Having Sex” On Rio Beach During Olympics Broadcast

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This has been a great week for the Olympics. First, Lochte-gate. And now a couple doing sex-like stuff—maybe actual sex!—on a Rio beach has been accidentally broadcast around the world by the BBC.

BBC reporter Dan Walker was broadcasting from a beach in Rio Thursday night when viewers noticed the amorous couple on the sand behind him. Some chimed in on Twitter, and Walker responded on air.

“For those asking what’s going on back there on social media now, we’re not going to zoom in, but rest assured—it’s not that,” he said. “It’s just a hug. They’re reading a book. They’re reading a book in a strange pose.”

If you say so, man.

You Haven’t Lived Until You’ve Seen These Photos Of Dogs. On Floaties. In Pools.

We would love to offer you some deep analysis of the above photos. Actually, no we wouldn’t. That would be absurd. Because there is really nothing else to say about them. They are not reflective of some bigger trend, or higher truth, or even surrealist meaning. They are simply dogs. On floaties. In pools. Sometimes, that’s enough. This, friends, is one of those times. May your weekends be filled with many dogs. On floaties. In pools.

Why Frank Ocean’s Fans Went Crazy

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Frank Ocean loves cars. He isn’t shy about it either.

His debut mixtape/album nostalgia, ULTRA. features that bright orange 1980s BMW E30 M3, his supposed “dream car,” hidden amidst a shrubbery alcove on its album cover. There’s the “pretty big trunk on my Lincoln town car, ain’t it?” line from “Swim Good” and the Mustang 5.0 he offers to spare his broken heart in “American Wedding.” The deeper Frank fans know “Acura Intergurl,” a song when Frank still went by Lonny Breaux, and dedicated to his 1991 Acura NSX. Digging even deeper, the Channel Orange booklet displays another BMW, one more knowledgeable enthusiasts have recognized as a 5-series wagon.

The singer may have been in hiding, but he never hid his love of cars. Maybe Frank fanatics would rather the New York Times never be mentioned (or publish another newspaper) again, but in one of the handful of interviews Frank’s given, the singer showed off his rebuilt 1990 BMW E30 sedan and allowed the NYTimes writer to drive (and scratch) his M3.

You get it by now. Dude’s obsessed with cars, namely Beemers. But you don’t really care, because you just want the album. Technically it’s still not out. Frank did drop this “visual album” called “Endless,” available only on Apple Music for now. It’s great. He covers that Isley Brothers track “At Your Best (You Are Love)” that Aaliyah famously covered and builds a staircase to either heaven or nowhere depending on your interpretation of the situation.

But it’s still a prelude to the album, which will debut this weekend (fingers crossed) and will no longer go by Boys Don’t Cry, according to Rolling Stone.

So let’s go back to Wednesday night for a moment. If you haven’t heard, there was a Frank Ocean spotting Wednesday. Those seem rarer nowadays than walking in a public park and not bumping into someone playing Pokemon Go. Thanks to A$AP Rocky’s Snapchat, we knew even before today that Frank’s alive. What’s he been doing? Street-racing cars with Tyler, the Creator.

https://twitter.com/GoIfMedia/status/766234908331216896

How fun, right? Old buds Frankie and Ty driving fast with a terrified Rocky yelping his lungs out. A nice little treat as we wait for the album, you might be thinking.

Dammit. I forgot how the internet works.

https://twitter.com/kyareana_/status/766302199202840576

https://twitter.com/reallycetea/status/766244160206536705

Sigh.

You get the feeling the people who waste days back-to-back on the internet, never leaving their phones for a second, expect an artist to lock himself in a studio until he emerges, like Jesus from the tomb, and deliver us from evil (in the form of an album). They’re likely the kind of people who text during movies and snap a pic their meal every time they eat out and go hiking just to Instagram the view. In other words, they probably lack any concept of how art’s created.

Frank Ocean’s delayed, maybe-dropping-this-weekend record has brought out the bottomless floor of internet culture. Some “hilarious” fans made a diss album called Boys Do Cry, parodying numerous tracks like “Pink Matter” and Kanye’s “Say You Will.” That Apple Music livestream/performance art piece that became “Endless” showed Frank sawing wood and painting boxes. The warehouse of the video? Reddit users found it. Still over waiting for the album to drop but need it the exact second it does? A slight paradox, but no worries. There’s an app for that.

Okay. I realize I seem like a cross between a technophobe and that old-man-yells-at-cloud Grandpa Simpson meme right around now. But I don’t believe it’s been all garbage trash piles. This Vine has brought more joy into my life than a thousand corgy huskie puppies rolling atop my face. It should win the EGOT. I will fight anyone who thinks otherwise.

https://vine.co/v/OhnlTbx5qTU

I can’t pinpoint when it happened, but music fandom became uncomfortably toxic within the past year or so. The vitriolic anticipation for Frank’s album is just another example of what now goes on day after day. Music fandom has always been slightly contentious. We will argue about music, really any popular art form, until the day we die/become human batteries for the Matrix.

Questions like: Who really should be remembered as the King of Pop? Prince or Michael (Prince). What rappers make up your Top Five? (Jay, Andre, Pac, Kendrick, Black Thought, and yes I’m wrong.) Who won these rap beefs: Jay Z vs. Nas, Beanie Siegel vs. The LOX, J. Cole vs. Diggy? (Jay, Beans, and nobody cares.)  Who’s the greatest guitarist of all time? (Super debatable, but if he ever wanted it, Prince again.)

Anyone who loves music also loves arguing about music. It’s always been part of the fun. But the hyper-accelerated nature of our media consumption changed the equation. Maybe it’s the “jokes>>>facts always” crowd or our instantaneous need to claim a new album classic or trash. Maybe it’s meme culture in general, which has a way of cheapening anything for a moment’s laugh. Maybe it’s the media content mill, willing to showcase the trending thing for some clicks.

Or maybe it’s my generation’s need to ironically distance themselves from anything resembling emotions or feelings, because in our panoptic, post-Snowden world, there’s a fear that anything serious we do or say will be used against us, so it’s better never to be serious at all.

I’ve been listening to Drake’s VIEWS again lately. It’s the most popular album of the year, according to sales, and the most critically-panned album of Drake’s career. Mediocre, treading the same ground, uninspired. He’s not rapping enough. Baroque and bloated. Why didn’t he just make a dancehall album? He has everything at the top yet sounds so depressed and paranoid #lame.

Part of this is Drake’s fault. The expectations for the album began in 2014 when he rapped on the track “0 to 100/The Catch-Up:” “We already got spring 2015 poppin’ / PND droppin’, Reps-up P droppin’ / Majid Jordan droppin’, OB droppin’, not to mention me droppin’”

That album was supposed to be the then-titled Views from the 6. Then 2015 came and Drake released If You’re Reading It’s Too Late, a mix-album that cashed in the trending Atlanta trap sound and What A Time to Be Alive, a joint project with Future. Reaction to these projects were pleasant and markedly reserved because the projects were appetizers. They didn’t need to be great or game-changers. Views from the 6 was still on its way. And just to tide us over further, Drake (pretty much) ended Meek Mill’s career with “Back to Back,” which remains pure exhilaration every time you hear it.

All that fun had a dangerous side-effect: Expectations were so high he’d need to release his Thriller, his Blueprint, his Pet Sounds just to meet them. Of course he didn’t. VIEWS is meandering, veiled, created by a really lonely man who keeps finding the wrong answers to his problems. Too long still but it’s pretty good actually. However, most can’t get past that change in Drake’s image from wounded and heartbroken to the isolated Hamlet he plays on VIEWS. Probably because most respond to others’ loneliness the same way: with “the instinctive sense that it is literally repulsive,” as Olivia Laing notes in The Lonely City, which really sounds like a Drake project if I’ve heard one.

We’re pretty great at creating anticipation and hype in our era. Think of the enormous glee surrounding the release of DC’s Suicide Squad. It was to be the superhero movie we’ve always been waiting for! Until it wasn’t.

These expectations usually end up hurting those who instigate them. That’s the frustration surrounding Frank Ocean and music fans. Frank might’ve fueled the fires with that cryptic library book slip with all its crossed-out dates and the even more cryptic livestream that only finally revealed itself (and it’s still pretty cryptic!). Otherwise, most of the animosity towards Frank stems from a self-perpetuating drudge. It’s little wonder why we’ve seen more “surprise” drops from mainstream and independent artists this year. Beyonce, Kanye, Radiohead, and Chance experienced far more benefits through this route than the typical scheduled album rollouts of old.

Frank tried this play. It’s kind of wild when you think about it. A leaked source told the New York Times the album would come Aug. 5; there was never an official announcement. Yet this is all Frank’s fault. Stop having fun and blowing off some steam by racing cars. Finish the album, asshole.

Few artists would engender these intense emotional reactions. Frank Ocean’s music reaches sublime heights through his sincere, confessional storytelling and his touches-the-soul croon. Frank doesn’t speak to you; he speaks for you. Perhaps that’s why we need this album so desperately and make insolent demands he finish it: Without him, we don’t know what else there is to say.

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