A Florida Man was caught sneaking a rack of ribs in his pants recently. That isn’t a dick joke. The man actually had a whole rack of ribs stuffed inside his waist band. According to one report, “it’s unclear whether the ribs were of the beef or pork variety.”
Maeli Aguilar-Alvarez was spotted by a sheriff’s sergeant leaving the market, where upon the ribs were discovered inside his trousers. “A further search yielded two packs of hamburger buns, nine pieces of fried chicken and some mashed potatoes, all of which investigators say Aguilar-Alvarez procured using the five-finger discount,” reads a story from TCPalm.
However, he didn’t have any condiments or drinks to go along with the picnic in his pants.
Reports indicate that Aguilar-Alvarez smelled of booze and was intoxicated upon detainment. The $32.49 heist resulted in arrest and retail theft charge for the Florida Man.