There’s nothing like Independence Day in the US. The smell of hot dogs on the grill, ocean waves, fresh-cut grass, and the burning eyebrows of your buddy who got too close to the fireworks display.
Around time last year, an Iowa man was arrested for setting off fireworks at 4 a.m., something he told police he’s do again “with a blunt in his mouth because this is America.” While we wonder if he will deliver on that promise this year, let’s look back at some of the highlights of explosive misuses of our nation’s greatest tradition: Lighting stuff on fire for the sake of patriotism.
The look on this guy’s face is priceless. If you don’t know this feeling in the pit of your stomach, you’ve never been a teenager.
Everything in this compilation video is painfully great, but the first few seconds set the tone. “It’s fine.” [unintelligible screaming]
This enthusiast got too close, and a rogue firecracker found his camera lens. Wear proper goggles, kids.
Neville Longbottom here takes an Incendio straight to the face, courtesy of his buddy’s Roman Candle. He seems unfazed.
Nothing blows up in this reporter’s face literally, but figuratively, hoo yeah. “Wouldn’t you like to know, weather boy,” should become the shut-down catchphrase of the summer.
This one isn’t a fail—the marshmallows cook, all right—but it’s definitely filed under Dumb Uses Of Your Time.