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Ed Sheeran Sounds Uninspired In Mainstream Comeback

Brendan Bures
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Ed Sheeran Sounds Uninspired In Mainstream Comeback

With new music flying like warp-speed through the various channels of the Internet, it can be hard to keep up. But worry not! Each week The Fresh Toast will deliver the most-discussed and exciting songs that have recently dropped. Landed. Crashed. And also: soared. Enjoy. 

Ed Sheeran—“Castle on the Hill” & “Shape of You”

When Ed Sheeran broke into the mainstream with 2014’s X, it wasn’t so much because he upended pop’s formulas, but how he blurred them together. At his core, Sheeran’s just a guy with a guitar, but you’d be hard-pressed calling him folk or country. He scats and can break into raps, but he wasn’t hip hop. And he wasn’t really pop either, upon closer examination. His elusive nature of being defined only raised his normal schlep appeal, his lyrics indicating a genuine personality in a hyper-aggressive marketing and fake industry.

His massive success from X’s monster singles led Sheeran in a long-gestating touring cycle. Collaborations and one-offs appeared, but no proper release from Sheeran. Now he returns with “Shape of You,” a sugar-coated, bland dancehall joint trying to sell sex. This single was at one point intended for Rihanna, according to Sheeran, and you wish it still was. His voice is all wrong for the context, and Sheeran sounds too rigid to his approach and too analytical in his construction.

“Castle on the Hill” isn’t much better. A rockish, nostalgic jam, Sheeran’s more in his element here and iTunes describes it as a “life-affirming pop rocket,” but the ship never takes off. It’s not bad, but isn’t great either. The concept—waking up one day and missing more blissful, childhood days—is well-worn, perhaps, but these type of feelsy notes are where Sheeran typically excels. How disappoint then that he’s more recycling than adding anything to the genre. Sheeran, sadly, fits right into the song’s formula.

Migos—“T Shirt”

I could tell you about this video, but Chance the Rapper sums it up more succinctly than I ever could.

This has been your gleeful dispatch on the Migos’ new music video.

The xx—“Say Something Loving”

“Say Something Loving” doesn’t sound like a typical record you’d expect from The xx, yet doesn’t completely leave behind their moody aesthetic. It’s just that that mood has changed. Still a bit melancholic, sure, but no longer so downtrodden. More earnest, more, dare we say, positive? (From the chorus: “You say something loving / It’s so overwhelming, the thrill of affection”) Following previous single “On Hold,” The xx is clearly leaving their past selves behind. And we’re not mad about it.

Jazz Cartier—“Tempted”

With a solid 2016 that built his buzz, Toronto rapper Jazz Cartier isn’t slowing down in the new year. This oozy single from his upcoming album Fleurever delivers bouncy production that’s hard to resist nodding your head or dancing along to.

Elliott Smith—“I Figured You Out”

Though it ended prematurely, Elliott Smith’s career as a songwriter was nonetheless prolific. That whispery voice of his imbued his lyrics with delicate seriousness, like his songs were secrets from a friend. This posthumous release is apparently “a stupid pop song [he] wrote in about a minute.”

The most essential daily news, entertainment, pop culture, and culture coverage. Want more? Check out “A Study Of 2016: The Year America’s Pop Stars Went Weird,” “Russian Fisherman Posts Pictures Of Terrifying Alien Fish Monsters” and “Healthy 2017: 5 Under-The-Radar Diets You Might Not Know About”

Aspen: See Mariah Carey Buy Marijuana In An Evening Gown

Brendan Bures
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Aspen: See Mariah Carey Buy Marijuana In An Evening Gown

Mariah Carey has had an interesting new year, to say the least. Following a very public and very disastrous New Year’s performance, Carey was apparently “mortified.”

But doesn’t mean she isn’t enjoy and living her best life. Carey and boyfriend Bryan Tanaka have been spending the holidays in Aspen, Colorado, and still remain there with her children. What is there to do in Colorado other than skiing and winter sports, you may be wondering? The better question: What is a legal activity in Aspen, Colorado?

https://twitter.com/prasejeebus/status/816464059876986880

That’s right. Mariah Carey is partaking in Colorado’s very green recreational activity. Of course, she’s shining in the way only Mariah can—rocking a full glam evening gown while shopping.

Whether Mariah is using cannabis as an aphrodisiac, perhaps indulging in some “sexy strain,” or a sleep aid is certainly possible. She could be toking to brainstorm some possible next career moves following the New Year’s fiasco. But who’s to say she’s even toking? Maybe Mariah is more of an edibles person, doesn’t want to damage those vocal chords in any way.

One thing’s for sure: Mariah is very much enjoying her time in Aspen. And cannabis could be playing a significant role.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BO2ZbLBjc41/?taken-by=mariahcarey

The most essential daily news, entertainment, pop culture, and culture coverage. Want more? Check out “A Study Of 2016: The Year America’s Pop Stars Went Weird,” “Russian Fisherman Posts Pictures Of Terrifying Alien Fish Monsters” and “Healthy 2017: 5 Under-The-Radar Diets You Might Not Know About”

Teens Ride Horses Through Drive-Thru With Goat Following

Taylor Berman
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Teens Ride Horses Through Drive-Thru With Goat Following

Life as a teenager is often boring, especially on long holiday breaks. There’s no school or homework to complain about and break up the day, and your friend are often away on vacation . Plus, if you’re under 16 you’re stuck relying on your parents for rides to escape the house, unless you’re Trajen Collins, 13, and Joel Perez, 15, of Powell, Wyoming, that is.
So, what do they do? Well the teens ride horses through drive-thru with a goat following.

On Friday, the two teens decided they’d had enough sitting around, so they took their two horses and rode into town to get some McDonald’s. “We just wanted to get out of the house and do something,” Perez told the Powell Tribune. Collins added that the two were “just bored.”

As luck would have it, Collins’s goat, named Goat, followed the two teens as they rode the several miles into town. “We started going, and I guess the goat just wanted to come for a ride,” Perez said. “It just started walking right behind us.”

Perez and Collins ordered chicken sandwiches for themselves at McDonald’s, but nothing for their horses or Goat. “We were thinking about getting the goat a salad, but that was it,” Collins said. “She ate grass a little bit earlier.”

When the two boys went into other stores, they tied their horses up outside but not Goat. “She just stayed with the horses,” Collins, who added that the trip was “fun, but cold.”

A Powell Tribune photographer snapped a picture of the odd group walking through the McDonald’s drive thru and posted it to Facebook, where its since reached nearly half a million people.

Lifestyle and Entertainment with sides of cannabis, hot-mess, musicians, comedians and medical information. Want more? Check out “Friends With Edibles: Drinking Hedgehog’s Cannabis Cocktail Spiker,” “Visualize the News: Kim Kardashian Returns To Social Media And ‘Reality’” “5 Questions With Madame Gandhi On Fitness, Creativity and Self-Care in 2017“

The Feds Need To Follow Britain And Protect CBD Patients

Drug Policy Alliance
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The Feds Need To Follow Britain And Protect CBD Patients

For years there has been a widespread misperception that CBD – or cannabidiol, a non-psychoactive marijuana component with several beneficial medical applications – is legal to possess and make under federal law.

When the Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) established a new code number for marijuana extracts on December 14, 2016, many mistakenly believed that the DEA’s newest action made CBD federally illegal. But CBD has long been illegal under federal law and has been a Schedule I drug since the enactment of the Controlled Substance Act of 1970 (CSA).

This misunderstanding can be explained, in part, because some people think hemp oil (which is legal under federal law) is the same as CBD oil (which is not legal under federal law). All types of cannabis (including hemp plants), and their leaves and flowers are now illegal and have been illegal under the CSA.

RELATED: Everybody Chill: DEA’s Scheduling Of CBD Is A Clarification, Not A New Law

The only exception are hemp plants grown by academic institutions or by state departments of agriculture in accordance with the 2014 U.S. Farm Bill. But hemp byproducts already made outside the United States – including oil, mature stalks and sterile seeds – may be lawfully imported into the country and possessed, processed, sold, and transferred from state to state.

CBD oil is produced from cannabis flowers and leaves, which are illegal under federal law, and is high in CBD. This product is what marijuana patients frequently seek out to use as medicine. In contrast, hemp oil is produced by pressing sterile hemp seeds and only contains trace amounts of the CBD that patients seek. The oil and the seeds may be lawfully imported and processed. Yet some hemp companies are deceptively taking large amounts of hemp products and processing them with harsh chemicals to derive enough CBD to call their oil a “CBD product.”

The FDA has issued warnings to some of these companies for falsely advertising their effectiveness. While these CBD oils from hemp seeds may be lawful to produce, they often do not contain therapeutic levels of CBD patients need and the chemicals used in the extraction process may harm, more than help, patients.

CBD has amazing potential when the product is created from the non-hemp varieties of marijuana and when proper extraction processes are used. For instance, CBD has been used to treat epilepsy in children, opioid addiction, and cancer.

But CBD only helps a minority of patients. There are over 70 different cannabinoids (chemical compounds that act on cannabinoid receptors in the brain) in marijuana, including THC and CBD, each with its own unique therapeutic properties. Some illnesses respond better to THC-rich strains of marijuana than to CBD strains. And, even patients who respond best to CBD have better outcomes when it is derived from the whole plant, rather than synthetic forms of CBD.

RELATED: Tell Us Your Story: How Charlotte’s Web Helped My Son

The whole medical marijuana plant, rather than CBD alone, needs to be legalized to best address the needs of patients. Medical marijuana is now legal in 28 states plus the District of Columbia, and an additional 15 states have passed CBD-only laws. For the time being these laws are safe from federal interference under the 2016 omnibus spending bill. But this provision will expire if it is not renewed by Congress next year. The best way to ensure that patients are protected is to pass comprehensive federal legislation, such as last year’s CARERS Act, to permit states to legalize medical marijuana and CBD for patients.

Jolene Forman is a staff attorney with the Drug Policy Alliance.

Animal Shelter Goes Viral With Heartwarming Low-Budget Commercial

Taylor Berman
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Animal Shelter Goes Viral With Heartwarming Low-Budget Commercial

An animal shelter in Atlanta specializes in finding homes for cats has become an internet phenomenon this week after a low-budget commercial it produced went viral.

Furkids Animal and Rescue Shelters’ “Kitty Kommercial” stars a man who, in style and humor, resembles Breaking Bad’s Saul Goodman or a used-car salesman; he’s dressed in an ill-fitting, mismatched blazer/slacks combo, and he hawks the cats with enough cheesy dad jokes to humiliate an entire bus full of middle schoolers. He’s played by a man who works at a rental property management company, not an actor; his sister, who volunteers at the shelter, suggested him because he’s naturally funny.

“You like black cats, we’ve got the blackest cats you’ve ever seen,” the actor says at one point while standing near a very black cat. “It’s like midnight in the middle of a coffin over here. You like sleepy kitties, we’ve got the sleepiest kitties you’ve ever seen. You don’t like tails, no problem—get a cat without one.”

The video was released on December 23 and eventually made its way to Reddit; since then, it’s been viewed more than 2.7 million times. Huffington Post reports the entire video took just 30 minutes to film and cost just “a couple cans of cat food for the cat stars.”

Watch the video below, and be sure to stick around until the end for the Sarah McLachlan cover.

Lifestyle and Entertainment with sides of cannabis, hot-mess, musicians, comedians and medical information. Want more? Check out “Friends With Edibles: Drinking Hedgehog’s Cannabis Cocktail Spiker,” “Visualize the News: Kim Kardashian Returns To Social Media And ‘Reality’” “5 Questions With Madame Gandhi On Fitness, Creativity and Self-Care in 2017“

Hanson Brothers Beer? 9 Surprising Celebrity Beer Collaborations

Jacob Uitti
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Hanson Brothers Beer? 9 Surprising Celebrity Beer Collaborations

When was the last time you thought about Rick Astley? That’s what we thought. He’s developing his own beer, teaming with Mikkeller brewery in Copenhagen to develop an as-of-yet unnamed brew that, he says, will be a “pilsner type lager.” This means  you can now have “Never Gonna Give You Up” running through your head every time you sip it. You know, unless the beer sucks, in which case you can give it up ASAP.

But Astley isn’t the only B(eer) List celeb to collaborate on a beer.  Here are 8 other celebs who are almost famous enough to make the cut for “Dancing With the Stars.”

Hanson Brothers

https://www.instagram.com/p/BLzfQ9BlKEf

The three, long-haired blond brothers who sang, “Mmmbop” in the 90’s own their own brewery, Hanson Brothers Beer Co., in Oklahoma. And their most popular brew? You guessed it! Mmmhops Pale Ale. Rolls on the tongue.

Barenaked Ladies

https://www.instagram.com/p/gytO4NHlds

This band who wrote soft rap-rock ballads like “One Week” partnered with Flying Monkeys in Ontario to make BNL Strong Beer, an 11% ABV Imperial Chocolate Stout.

Darius Rucker (aka Hootie)

https://www.instagram.com/p/BNZycBCD7_B

Rock Brothers Brewing has partnered with Darius Rucker of 90’s rock band “Hootie and the Blowfish” to create an American Blonde Ale with hints of Lemongrass. According to the brewery it’s “amazingly smooth,” much like Hootie’s hold-your-hand lyrics.

Sup Pop Records

https://www.instagram.com/p/BOybFz9BOr6

Seattle’s Elysian Brewing has partnered with legendary record label Sub Pop to bring you the Loser Pale Ale, a crisp and tropical brew to honor the Grunge era, Nirvana and maybe even a little wink to Washington great, Beck. Okay this pairing is no B-List but it is fun!

Michael Voltaggio

https://www.instagram.com/p/3z_G8wkbMD

This “Bad Boy” chef who takes himself a little too seriously worked with Flying Dog Brewery in Maryland to create a smoked Amber Ale they call “Backyard Ale,” which the chef hopes pairs with all things BBQ.

Tom Green

https://www.instagram.com/p/BOLQQ5_BU-6

The man who made the lyric, “My bum is on your lips” semi-famous helped create Milk Stout beer with Beau’s Brewery that the two parties describe as “creamy and velvety.” The two parties recommend the beer with “cheese sandwiches,” which is odd, much like Green’s old MTV show. Let’s move on.

Adrian Grenier

This “Entourage” star is known for rolling in packs. So why not create a six-pack of beer and slap his name on it? The be-stubbled actor recently founded a brewery called Churchkey Can Co., where the signature brew is pilsner. Bland alert!

Iron Maiden

https://www.instagram.com/p/BN_nn6FFCLE

Thrashing metal bands deserve their own beers too, right? Well, Iron Maiden and Robinsons Brewery in the U.K. think so, which is why they invented Trooper, an Extra Special Bitter: a malty dark beer with a little hopped edge.

TFT How To: 4 Tips For Using Marijuana To Break Monotony

Seamus Read
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TFT How To: 4 Tips For Using Marijuana To Break Monotony

Outside of medicinal and social situations, one of the age-old uses for marijuana has been its ability to break down the monotony of tedious tasks. Professionals around the world secretly indulge in pot before heading to mundane day jobs, celebrities have copped to sucking on medicated candies during hours-long signing sessions, and even among family you may have run into a rogue cousin who couldn’t quite make it through your Aunt Judy’s choir recital without some help.

So whether you’ll be signing autographs for four hours, cleaning the house all day, or offering moral support at a friend’s three-hour long interpretive dance performance, here are some things to consider when using pot to get through those tedious tasks in your life.

Mode Of Marijuana


via GIPHY

The first decision you must make is which mode of marijuana is a.) available to you and b.) best suited to the task at hand. Whether you decide on a joint, a dab, an edible, or anything in between, each option brings with it different nuances on how the ensuing high will play out.

Smoking can bring about more immediate effects while an edible can give you more of a time-release that lasts for much longer.

Strain


via GIPHY

If you have the luxury, choosing between different strains of cannabis can help you determine the type of experience you will have. Try experimenting with different indica, sativa, and hybrid strains to see how they affect you and take some notes of how each one feels. That way, the next time around you can make a more educated decision on what to buy—whether it’s a buzzy sativa to keep you awake or a body-melting indica to ensure you stay seated.

Timing


via GIPHY

Timing can be the trickiest of factors to consider when pairing pot with a specific task at hand. No matter if you’ve decided to munch on an edible or sneak a quick hit off of your vape pen, it’s likely best not to do it too far in advance. If possible, step away a few minutes before your task or event is about to begin and partake in private, thus allowing the effects of the cannabis to activate as you are beginning the tedium at hand and not much before.

Dosing


via GIPHY

Though you’re not back in math class it may seem like between timing and dosing there are quite a few calculations to be done. This is nevertheless important in ensuring the best possible outcome. For a monotonous task, you want the time to pass effortlessly while still keeping a clear head. That could come from a single dab, half a joint, a quarter of chocolate bar, two medicated breath mints, or a long-lasting THC transdermal patch—it depends on your own preferences and your body’s tolerance.

Werner Herzog’s Hot Take of The Day: All Things Yoga

Taylor Berman
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Werner Herzog’s Hot Take of The Day: All Things Yoga

Acclaimed filmmaker Werner Herzog is best known for his obsessions with the monumental issues of human existence: technology, art, beauty, death, the unforgiving brutality of nature, and the exploration of the unknown. But he also considers—and complains about—the banality of everyday life and the minutia of current events. Here is the German artist’s take on yoga:

I think there should be holy war against yoga classes.

This has been Werner Herzog’s Hot Take of the Day.

5 Sites Where The Single Marijuana Lover Can Find Love

Lucy Lifted
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5 Sites Where The Single Marijuana Lover Can Find Love

Are you a cannabis consumer looking to connect with another marijuana lover? In this uber-connected electronic age, there are plenty of options—and apps—to link people who enjoy Mary Jane. And as cannabis users emerge from the shadows, single tokers will have less and less trouble meeting that special someone.


via GIPHY

If cannabis is important to you, you’re likely interested in finding your own kind. High There!, a popular social network linking cannabis aficionados, has been dubbed “Tinder for tokers,” but it offers more than just romantic hookups. Users can choose to connect to “chat,” go out,” or “stay in” (like Netflix and chill but instead of Netflix it’s bong rips, see?) You build a profile by uploading a photo and writing 420 characters of information about yourself. Then the app allows you to swipe through potential matches, optimized by preference for consuming cannabis: smoking, vaping, edibles or “all kinds.” According to the website, High There! “unites cannabis users and enthusiasts… in a friendly, judgment-free environment”. The free app is available for iOS and Android use.


via GIPHY

Another matchmaking site helping folks find reefer romance is My420Mate, an online platform for cannabis-loving singles that features a good-looking user interface and free smartphone app. My 420Mate members join for free; they can then add photos, chat live, and search for matches in their area. The company, whose motto is “plant your seed and watch your love grow,” bills itself as the “Cupid for cannabis lovers.”

And then there’s dating coach Molly Peckler, who through her company Highly Devoted offers advice for singles looking to meet cute with cannabis. Peckler credits cannabis with deepening and strengthening her relationship with her husband, and has dedicated herself to helping bring weed lovers together.


via GIPHY

Facebook offers a myriad of marijuana meet-up groups, as does Plenty of Fish. Just Google “cannabis dating” or “420 singles.” Lots of other cannabis-specific dating sites pop up as well, like Passin Grass (“Meet. Smoke. Chill.”) and Date 420 Friendly. As marijuana legalization spreads across the nation, single smokers are looking to spark the connection—and a joint!

A new year brings a fresh outlook on life—it’s the perfect time to meet new people. Light up (or enjoy an edible, take a tincture—however you like to get lifted), make the leap and give cannabis-friendly social networking a shot. You never know who might crop up. Crop, get it? Yay for weed puns. Now get out there and meet someone who’ll find things as funny as you do after burning one down!


via GIPHY

How @Wendys Twitter Accidentally Became A Troll And Played Itself

Brendan Bures
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How @Wendys Twitter Accidentally Became A Troll And Played Itself

The nebulous “internet” is not a trustworthy beast. The same sword it knights you with, it will good night you with. The love is fickle, and often fleeting, and chasing it will likely end unfortunately for you.

This was evidenced recently in the latest “Can You Believe This Funny Account?” award winner, the @Wendys Twitter account. A swift burn of a troll went viral and a swelling interest surrounded their tweets, resulting in many discovering how frequently funny whoever was behind the account could be. Suddenly, users were begging @Wendys to roast them, too, placing more engagement and eyeballs on their account. It was every social media manager’s dream.

https://twitter.com/Fraxtil/status/816056124713488384

Two things: a) this is kind of how advanced corporate marketing and brand management works in the digital sphere—your consumer loyalty correlates with the *cool*, or *woke*, or in this case, *hilarious* brand more than the product itself. They’re reinforcing other sticky advertising, not changing your mind. Your joy of devouring a Wendy’s double bacon cheeseburger or 5-piece nuggets is already known. Their backhanding a troll—while commendable—shouldn’t change anything. That burger isn’t suddenly juicier just because the drama surrounding it is. Also b) the humor is pretty low stakes and basic. Louis C.K. or Dave Chappelle, they are not.

The increasing activity and attention led the content mills to spin and collect those possible clicks, reinforcing that the @Wendys Twitter account was *a thing that was definitely happening*. (And no, we’re not really exempt here either.) If you logged on to your FaceInstaTwitterBook this week, it’d be remarkable if you somehow didn’t see this story—it was even on Anderson Cooper.

The love was real for the pig-tailed redhead. “Wendy’s Is Roasting People On Twitter, And It’s Just Too Funny,” read a Bored Panda headline. From USA Today: “Wendy’s is cold on Twitter, some might even say frosty.” College Humor: “Wendy’s Twitter Replies Are Becoming the Best Part of Twitter.” Don’t forget, People: “Wendy’s Just Won the Best Twitter Feud of 2017 So Far.” A definite win for the brand.

@Wendys knows how to play the Internet game. It has opinions on the best original Pokemon, can deliver a funny GIF or two, and can speak hip and/or nerdy in trendy internet terms. It listens to the kids, bro.

Then @Wendys tweeted the wrong meme.

Pepe the Frog used to be an innocuous meme, used essentially in the way @Wendys did. Perverse, slightly creepy, yet funny. But the meme became co-opted by the alt-right, and its meaning as symbol has altered drastically. Hillary Clinton’s campaign decried its usage and the Anti-Defamation League added Pepe the Frog to its “Hate on Display” database. The meme is not funny in the way it once was. “Our community manager was unaware of the recent political connotations associated with Pepe memes, and it has since been removed,” Wendy’s social media manager Amy Brown said to Business Insider.

To keep up with the drastically shifting meaning of words and memes on the internet is a full-time gig. If you lived off the grid, or weren’t following certain circles, it’s easily possible you weren’t aware that Pepe the Frog was now considered a hate symbol of sorts. @Wendys offense likely won’t strike you that seriously, unless you’re of the “internet.” It’s a forgivable mistake, really. But if you play by the internet’s rules and chase its adoration, you’ll get burned eventually. It might even come from a fast food account. Then, to save face, you’ll have no choice but to eat the beef.

 

The most essential daily news, entertainment, pop culture, and culture coverage. Want more? Check out “A Study Of 2016: The Year America’s Pop Stars Went Weird,” “Russian Fisherman Posts Pictures Of Terrifying Alien Fish Monsters” and “Healthy 2017: 5 Under-The-Radar Diets You Might Not Know About”

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