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So Did Stanley Kubrick Design Boeing’s New NASA Space Suits?

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When Stanley Kubrick created 2001: A Space Odyssey, he did so with an eye firmly to the future. Kubrick consulted more than 50 technology companies during his research, who shared with Kubrick their plans and ideas for what would be possible in the year 2001. This also explains why the film is littered with logos and brand names.

2001 is often praised as one of the most accurate and realistic portrayals of aeronautical engineering and technologies—so much so it led others to believe Kubrick helped fake the moon landing. But who knew all these years later one of Kubrick’s biggest impact on space flight would be…fashion?

Boeing has designed a spacecraft called Starliner, which will primarily serve as an aeronautical taxi between Earth and the International Space Station. To match function with form, Boeing has also rebooted the space suit, crafting a significantly lighter and more technological advanced suit. It also happens to look eerily similar to the space suits worn in 2001.

“The most important part is that the suit will keep you alive,” astronaut Eric Boe said in a press release. “It is a lot lighter, more form-fitting and it’s simpler, which is always a good thing. Complicated systems have more ways they can break, so simple is better on something like this.”

Though 2001’s Discovery 1 spacecraft featured four colors of the suit—red, yellow, green, and blue—the only suits never seen worn were the green and blue pairs. Could this be the lost suit sent back through the Monolith?

Of course not. That would be ridiculous.

Watch: The Coen Brothers Directed Their First Commercial in 15 Years for the Super Bowl

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Joel and Ethan Coen are arguably the most talented American filmmakers. They’ve written and directed classics like Fargo, The Big Lebowski, No Country for Old Men, and about a dozen others. On the heels of 2016’s excellent Hail Caeser!, the duo have helmed a new commercial for Mercedes Benz that will air during next week’s Super Bowl.

The commercial, the brother’s first since a 2002 clip for H&R Block, shows a bunch of Easy Rider-loving bikers brawling in a roadside bar as Steppenwolf’s “Born to Be Wild” blares from a jukebox. Soon word spreads that the gangs’ bikes have been blocked in by a car. When the group emerges from the bar to find out who committed such a heinous act, they’re shocked to discover who the offender is and what he’s driving.

Watch it below.

Twinkie Flavored Ice Cream? It’s A Thing And Happening

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“The sweetest comeback in the history of ever!” That’s how Hostess, the company responsible for dozens of yummy non-perishable snacks, advertised their Twinkies, a snack that’s been largely known for its impact on American children. Your take on the tagline depends on the level of nostalgia and how many Twinkies and cupcakes you consumed as a kid.

Back in December, Nestle announced their partnership with Hostess, where they’d create limited-edition ice creams with different types of Hostess product flavors. A Twinkie flavored ice cream might sound a little bizarre, but who are we to judge on the desires of millions of Americans?

The ice creams will be available from February to May at select convenience stores and Dollar General, so you have the option of having the ice cream delivered straight to your door. 

The Nestle/Hostess ice cream has been spotted at Riesbeck’s, a chain of supermarkets located in Southeast Ohio and West Virginia. We’ll anxiously await for it to reach other parts of America so we can view the public’s response on the matter.


via GIPHY

Professor Faces Existential Crisis On Twitter When Students Ghost Him

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Sitting in a classroom, waiting for a professor to show up after class is supposed to start, can be excruciating. As the common standard goes, if a professor isn’t there 15 minutes after class is supposed to start, class is canceled.

Now, class getting canceled shouldn’t be such a joyous event, but class involves trying, and who would want that?

The question, then, is what if the opposite happens. What if the teacher is there, but no students show up 15 minutes after class should start? That was the recent existential terror Twitter user @avitable faced when he sat in a silent, empty classroom.

This, however, is not the end of this peril. Our story ends on a more harrowing note.

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Let It Snow! Here Are 5 Best Winter Activities to Do While High

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Spending time outdoors is one of the most enjoyable things you can do while high, and there’s no better season to do so than winter. The cold air and snow gives everything a sort of pristine quality that you don’t get other times of year. But what are the best activities to try out while blazed? Read on and find out.

Skiing

Owen Richard/Flickr

Skiing is a fantastic activity to do while (lightly) stoned. What’s better than zipping down a mountain with the fresh air in your face while your surrounded by beautiful mountains? Not much. Plus the ski lift ride up is the perfect time for a quick hit or two.

Hiking

Franck Michel/Flickr

Any activity that gets you out into the mountains is wonderful to do while buzzed, not least of all because you’ll eventually be both literally and mentally high. Hiking is in many ways the opposite of skiing in that instead of the world rushing past you as you fly downhill you’re slowly climbing, giving you the chance to really take in your surroundings and think. Don’t forget to pack water and an extra sandwich, though.

Snowshoeing

m.prinke/Flickr

For a change of pace, try snowshoeing after a strong bong rip. There’s something uniquely peaceful about it, perhaps because of the vastness of the snow surrounding you. Also the shoes look funny.

Build A Snowman

erin/flickr

No need to go far for this one, if you live in a place that gets lots of snow, that is. Have a few friends over, split a joint with them, and then hit the back yard to create some weird and fun snow creatures.

Stay At Home And Stare Into A Fire

S. Faric/Flickr

Who says you need to go outside to enjoy a winter activity while high? For our money, few things top getting gently buzzed and cozying up by a blazing fire.

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Woman Arrested For Allegedly Pelting Cop With ‘Wet’ Used Tampon

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A foul-mouthed woman was arrested Monday night for allegedly throwing a used tampon at a St. Petersberg cop. Police later classified the “wet” sanitary cloth as a “deadly weapon.”

According to the police report obtained by The Smoking Gun, Tecora Fields was involved in some sort of brawl which Officer Andre Sousa interrupted. Fields reportedly told Sousa to “suck her pussy”

“I’ll hit you with my tampon you bitch!” she reportedly added.

Unfortunately for Sousa, Fields is a woman of her word and “was then seen with both her hands in her genital area, with her pants open.” Not long later, a “wet white paper object” reportedly hit the officer’s shoulder.

After fleeing the scene, Fields was arrested and charged with aggravated battery on a law enforcement officer, which is a felony.

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White Whine: Here’s Why You Should Be Drinking Chardonnay

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I’m not sure exactly when it became trendy to not like Chardonnay, but let me be the first to tell you, that’s some serious bullshit. It might have gotten a bad rap at the hands of some oak-crazed winemakers, but the best thing about Chardonnay is that it’s the shapeshifter of the white wine world, capable of a vast array of different styles, many of which are delicious and some of which are considered among the finest wines in the world.

It’s impossible to talk about Chardonnay without starting in France — the homeland of the grape — and within France, the region we’re mostly dealing with is Burgundy. For simplicity’s sake, let’s talk about it in three parts: Chablis, the Cote d’Or, and the Macon. If you like your Chardonnay crisp and so minerally that you sometimes feel like you’re straight drinking limestone, Chablis is the place for you. If you like slightly riper Chardonnay that often is aged in oak, the Cote d’Or might be more your speed, though be warned, those wines get expensive really quick. If value is what you’re after, wines from the Macon are a great alternative, and they can run the stylistic gamut from light and crisp to weighty and powerful.

However, Chardonnay has, at this point, spread to almost every wine-growing country in the world, and there are many dynamic and interesting expressions of the grape. Talking about even a few of them would quickly take this piece to “long-read” status, so let’s instead discuss a few different styles and a few examples thereof.

Photo by Flickr user Luke Gray

Grown in warm regions, Chardonnay can take on flavors of tropical fruits like pineapple, banana, and starfruit, along with developing a relatively high level of alcohol. This richer style tends to be counterbalanced with generous applications of oak: new barrels when the wine is expensive, oak chips and other additives when the wine is pitched at a lower price point. This is the classic style of much Napa Valley Chardonnay, as well as a good deal of what’s made in other New World locales like Australia, South Africa, and Argentina. The best examples can be quite complex and intriguing, but they easily can come across as flabby and uninteresting if not well-made.

If you grow Chardonnay in a relatively cool region, the resultant wine tends towards more citrusy and apple-y flavors and a heightened sense of minerality. These might see some time in barrel, but that’s rarely going to be new wood, as a more substantial application would overwhelm the more delicate structure of the wine. Outside of France, you’ll see this style in northern Italy, Chile, cooler parts of California like the Sonoma Coast, and much of the Pacific Northwest.

That said, those broad geographic generalizations are just that: generalizations. As such, you can certainly find counter-examples in all those regions and more. Yet given the incredibly broad range of Chardonnay on the market these days, and how exceptional some of those wines are, don’t for a moment longer believe that you don’t like Chardonnay; you just haven’t tried the right one yet.

MORE RELATED STORIES

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Guy Thinks He’s Found Evidence Of His Own Alien Abduction

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Imagine stumbling into photographic evidence of you getting your ass kicked by an alien in your own backyard.

That’s what happened to John Mooner, a UK man who frequently writes to the Herald Express about his encounters of a third kind, previously writing to the the news outlet to report UFO sightings while he’s trying to mind his own damn business at home.

Related Story: If Aliens Spoke To Us, What Would They Say?

He’s seen bright eerie lights and what he claims are alien craft, including an incident where a cigar-shaped spaceship hovered nearby and its driver stuck its head out of the vehicle to stick its tongue out and smile.

He told the Herald Express about his new revelation:

“I was having trouble with the Google Earth app that was installed on my computer so I looked for an online option and found Google satellite maps. I thought to myself I will view the area where I was UFO spotted from last year and look for anything out of the ordinary. I was left speechless by what I saw. The satellite has captured a real alien abduction taking place. The shocking thing about this was that it’s me being abducted by a grey alien and the satellite image clearly shows me trying to fight off the grey alien by punching it in the face. Looking at the image it appears that the alien has blocked my punch and has grabbed my fist and must of been able to subdue me.”

Mooner says he doesn’t remember this happening at all, but he does recognize the outfit he’s wearing in the images, and he’s had gaps in his memory from that time.

Related Story: Tom DeLonge Emailed Clinton’s Campaign Manager About Aliens And UFOs

When he zoomed out of the frame, he spotted three flashes of light, which he thinks are UFOs coming to pick him and his alien assailant up. ” I was abducted and this satellite image is proof.” If you squint really hard, and kind of tilt your head, you can almost see the proof.

Whether this is photo evidence of an abduction or not, it’s best to stay vigilant out there, folks.

 

Did A Man Lose His Testicles In A Scuba Weed Bong Blast?

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Wait, did a man lose his testicles in a scuba weed bong blast? The Associated Press published an important piece of journalism yesterday. “AP FACT CHECK: Man not hurt trying to show off ‘scuba bong,’” the headline read, and the story was just that—a fact check about a story claiming a man lost his nuts while showing off his scuba bong.

Unfortunately and mysteriously, the AP has since taken down the story, but the tweet promoting it remains.

The story in question was first published in September on a suspicious looking site called the IsThatLegit, with the story’s subject/victim living in Calgary. It later appeared on another suspect site called the Boston Leader, with Boston swapped in for Calgary. From the Boston story:

A 27-year old Boston local has suffered extensive injuries to his lower body after an unconventional attempt to ‘fill a scuba tank with weed smoke’ failed spectacularly last Thursday night. According to the testimony of several witnesses, Michael Fitzpatrick had consumed a copious quantity of alcohol before making the decision to demonstrate the home-made device.

“Mike’s a recreational diver,” commented one of the injured man’s friends. “For some time, he’s been tinkering with an old scuba tank that he’d bought cheaply from a dive shop. His plan was to use an air compressor to feed smoke into the tank, and then use a scuba regulator to inhale it.”

As you can see, it sounds like a story reverse engineered to be the perfect weird crime story, or hot mess, as we call it. It turns out that was pretty much the case.

The AP reported that Boston police said that “no such incidents were reported to them on that day.” Calgary police said they hadn’t heard of any “scuba bong” related incidents in at least five years.

Mashable notes that IsThisLegit features a warning that “for entertainment value only,” but there’s no similar warning on the Boston Leader. It’s unclear if the two sites share owners or are related in any way.

We can only guess why the AP decided to remove their post about a man lose his testicles in a scuba weed bong blast.

Hawaii Dispensaries To Start Growing Marijuana Next Week

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Hawaii officials announced earlier this week that the island’s newly licensed medical marijuana dispensaries could begin cultivating pot crops sometime at the beginning of February.

If all goes according to plan, patients may only be a few months away from purchasing the herb locally.

Although the state passed legislation in 2015 aimed at creating its own cultivation and distribution system, there have been some logistics issues that have prevented this aspect of the medical marijuana program from being realized as promptly as anticipated.

It was predicted that dispensaries would be given the green light to grow as early as the summer of 2016, but some unforeseen problems with the federally required seed to sale program ultimately jammed up progress, according to a report from the Associated Press.

So far, four dispensaries have indicated a readiness to grow as early as February 1. Yet, none of these businesses seem to have any clue when their doors will open to participating patients.

Meanwhile, state lawmakers are pushing for additional marijuana-related reforms in the 2017 session.

Several bills have been submitted over the past week aimed at legalizing the leaf for recreational use.

One proposal (Senate Bill 814) would give counties the freedom to decide whether to legalize the “cultivation, possession, sale, transfer, and use,” of the herb for adults 21 and over, while another (Senate Bill 548) is designed to eliminate pot prohibition statewide.

There is also some action geared toward this level of reform in the House of Representatives. House Bill 205, which was introduced by Representative Joseph M Souki, recently survived its first reading.

Eight states have legalized a taxed and regulated system that allows marijuana to be sold in a manner similar to alcohol.

However, some lawmakers feel that Hawaii is not quite prepared to join the legalization bandwagon.

House Majority Leader Scott Saiki recently told Hawaii News Now that recreational marijuana would not get the proper attention from legislative forces until the state gets a proper handle on medical marijuana.

“Our state medical marijuana program is still not really off the ground, even though we authorized dispensaries a couple of years ago,” he said.

In 2014, a recreational marijuana proposal seemed to be advancing nicely through the legislative process, but it was abruptly shut down shortly after a public hearing.

While it remains unknown whether full legalization has a prayer this session, at least the state’s medical marijuana program, which was established nearly 17 years ago, is finally on its way to servicing the 15,334 patients who have been cleared for participation.

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