A foul-mouthed woman was arrested Monday night for allegedly throwing a used tampon at a St. Petersberg cop. Police later classified the “wet” sanitary cloth as a “deadly weapon.”
According to the police report obtained by The Smoking Gun, Tecora Fields was involved in some sort of brawl which Officer Andre Sousa interrupted. Fields reportedly told Sousa to “suck her pussy”
“I’ll hit you with my tampon you bitch!” she reportedly added.
Unfortunately for Sousa, Fields is a woman of her word and “was then seen with both her hands in her genital area, with her pants open.” Not long later, a “wet white paper object” reportedly hit the officer’s shoulder.
I’m not sure exactly when it became trendy to not like Chardonnay, but let me be the first to tell you, that’s some serious bullshit. It might have gotten a bad rap at the hands of some oak-crazed winemakers, but the best thing about Chardonnay is that it’s the shapeshifter of the white wine world, capable of a vast array of different styles, many of which are delicious and some of which are considered among the finest wines in the world.
It’s impossible to talk about Chardonnay without starting in France — the homeland of the grape — and within France, the region we’re mostly dealing with is Burgundy. For simplicity’s sake, let’s talk about it in three parts: Chablis, the Cote d’Or, and the Macon. If you like your Chardonnay crisp and so minerally that you sometimes feel like you’re straight drinking limestone, Chablis is the place for you. If you like slightly riper Chardonnay that often is aged in oak, the Cote d’Or might be more your speed, though be warned, those wines get expensive really quick. If value is what you’re after, wines from the Macon are a great alternative, and they can run the stylistic gamut from light and crisp to weighty and powerful.
However, Chardonnay has, at this point, spread to almost every wine-growing country in the world, and there are many dynamic and interesting expressions of the grape. Talking about even a few of them would quickly take this piece to “long-read” status, so let’s instead discuss a few different styles and a few examples thereof.
Photo by Flickr user Luke Gray
Grown in warm regions, Chardonnay can take on flavors of tropical fruits like pineapple, banana, and starfruit, along with developing a relatively high level of alcohol. This richer style tends to be counterbalanced with generous applications of oak: new barrels when the wine is expensive, oak chips and other additives when the wine is pitched at a lower price point. This is the classic style of much Napa Valley Chardonnay, as well as a good deal of what’s made in other New World locales like Australia, South Africa, and Argentina. The best examples can be quite complex and intriguing, but they easily can come across as flabby and uninteresting if not well-made.
If you grow Chardonnay in a relatively cool region, the resultant wine tends towards more citrusy and apple-y flavors and a heightened sense of minerality. These might see some time in barrel, but that’s rarely going to be new wood, as a more substantial application would overwhelm the more delicate structure of the wine. Outside of France, you’ll see this style in northern Italy, Chile, cooler parts of California like the Sonoma Coast, and much of the Pacific Northwest.
That said, those broad geographic generalizations are just that: generalizations. As such, you can certainly find counter-examples in all those regions and more. Yet given the incredibly broad range of Chardonnay on the market these days, and how exceptional some of those wines are, don’t for a moment longer believe that you don’t like Chardonnay; you just haven’t tried the right one yet.
Imagine stumbling into photographic evidence of you getting your ass kicked by an alien in your own backyard.
That’s what happened to John Mooner, a UK man who frequently writes to the Herald Express about his encounters of a third kind, previously writing to the the news outlet to report UFO sightings while he’s trying to mind his own damn business at home.
He’s seen bright eerie lights and what he claims are alien craft, including an incident where a cigar-shaped spaceship hovered nearby and its driver stuck its head out of the vehicle to stick its tongue out and smile.
“I was having trouble with the Google Earth app that was installed on my computer so I looked for an online option and found Google satellite maps. I thought to myself I will view the area where I was UFO spotted from last year and look for anything out of the ordinary. I was left speechless by what I saw. The satellite has captured a real alien abduction taking place. The shocking thing about this was that it’s me being abducted by a grey alien and the satellite image clearly shows me trying to fight off the grey alien by punching it in the face. Looking at the image it appears that the alien has blocked my punch and has grabbed my fist and must of been able to subdue me.”
Mooner says he doesn’t remember this happening at all, but he does recognize the outfit he’s wearing in the images, and he’s had gaps in his memory from that time.
When he zoomed out of the frame, he spotted three flashes of light, which he thinks are UFOs coming to pick him and his alien assailant up. ” I was abducted and this satellite image is proof.” If you squint really hard, and kind of tilt your head, you can almost see the proof.
Whether this is photo evidence of an abduction or not, it’s best to stay vigilant out there, folks.
Wait, did a man lose his testicles in a scuba weed bong blast? The Associated Press published an important piece of journalism yesterday. “AP FACT CHECK: Man not hurt trying to show off ‘scuba bong,’” the headline read, and the story was just that—a fact check about a story claiming a man lost his nuts while showing off his scuba bong.
Unfortunately and mysteriously, the AP has since taken down the story, but the tweet promoting it remains.
AP FACT CHECK: A story that claims a Boston man lost his testicles in a 'scuba bong' blast is false. https://t.co/rpAlsOQvbH
The story in question was first published in September on a suspicious looking site called the IsThatLegit, with the story’s subject/victim living in Calgary. It later appeared on another suspect site called the Boston Leader, with Boston swapped in for Calgary. From the Boston story:
A 27-year old Boston local has suffered extensive injuries to his lower body after an unconventional attempt to ‘fill a scuba tank with weed smoke’ failed spectacularly last Thursday night. According to the testimony of several witnesses, Michael Fitzpatrick had consumed a copious quantity of alcohol before making the decision to demonstrate the home-made device.
“Mike’s a recreational diver,” commented one of the injured man’s friends. “For some time, he’s been tinkering with an old scuba tank that he’d bought cheaply from a dive shop. His plan was to use an air compressor to feed smoke into the tank, and then use a scuba regulator to inhale it.”
As you can see, it sounds like a story reverse engineered to be the perfect weird crime story, or hot mess, as we call it. It turns out that was pretty much the case.
The AP reported that Boston police said that “no such incidents were reported to them on that day.” Calgary police said they hadn’t heard of any “scuba bong” related incidents in at least five years.
Mashable notes that IsThisLegit features a warning that “for entertainment value only,” but there’s no similar warning on the Boston Leader. It’s unclear if the two sites share owners or are related in any way.
We can only guess why the AP decided to remove their post about a man lose his testicles in a scuba weed bong blast.
Hawaii officials announced earlier this week that the island’s newly licensed medical marijuana dispensaries could begin cultivating pot crops sometime at the beginning of February.
If all goes according to plan, patients may only be a few months away from purchasing the herb locally.
Although the state passed legislation in 2015 aimed at creating its own cultivation and distribution system, there have been some logistics issues that have prevented this aspect of the medical marijuana program from being realized as promptly as anticipated.
It was predicted that dispensaries would be given the green light to grow as early as the summer of 2016, but some unforeseen problems with the federally required seed to sale program ultimately jammed up progress, according to a report from the Associated Press.
So far, four dispensaries have indicated a readiness to grow as early as February 1. Yet, none of these businesses seem to have any clue when their doors will open to participating patients.
Meanwhile, state lawmakers are pushing for additional marijuana-related reforms in the 2017 session.
Several bills have been submitted over the past week aimed at legalizing the leaf for recreational use.
One proposal (Senate Bill 814) would give counties the freedom to decide whether to legalize the “cultivation, possession, sale, transfer, and use,” of the herb for adults 21 and over, while another (Senate Bill 548) is designed to eliminate pot prohibition statewide.
There is also some action geared toward this level of reform in the House of Representatives. House Bill 205, which was introduced by Representative Joseph M Souki, recently survived its first reading.
Eight states have legalized a taxed and regulated system that allows marijuana to be sold in a manner similar to alcohol.
However, some lawmakers feel that Hawaii is not quite prepared to join the legalization bandwagon.
House Majority Leader Scott Saiki recently toldHawaii News Now that recreational marijuana would not get the proper attention from legislative forces until the state gets a proper handle on medical marijuana.
“Our state medical marijuana program is still not really off the ground, even though we authorized dispensaries a couple of years ago,” he said.
In 2014, a recreational marijuana proposal seemed to be advancing nicely through the legislative process, but it was abruptly shut down shortly after a public hearing.
While it remains unknown whether full legalization has a prayer this session, at least the state’s medical marijuana program, which was established nearly 17 years ago, is finally on its way to servicing the 15,334 patients who have been cleared for participation.
The unluckiest skier became the luckiest man alive when dude he skied off a 150-foot cliff, captured it all on video and lived to tell about it.
His path looks peaceful enough, as he skis through the Wasatch Range in Utah. Then, out of nowhere, the bumps and hills along the way drop off into thin air.
You can hear him yelp in surprise as gravity and momentum fling him off the slope and into a white void. He tells the Washington Post that he was praying in his head, but that it’s hard to tell over all of the cursing:
“I immediately thought about my cousin who was [left a] quadriplegic from a car accident and thought, ‘I’m gonna be paralyzed,’ ” he said Wednesday. “And then when I saw how big the cliff was when I was going over the edge, I thought I was dead for sure.”
He says once he landed on his stuffed backpack and two feet of snow, he looked up to make sure his buddy wasn’t about to come crashing off the cliff after him. They then spend five hours looking for a lost ski.
Where the video was reposted on YouTube, a debate rages on in the comments, where no one can agree on the height of the drop. Was it 50 feet or five? Two hundred and forty feet? Everyone’s back in Physics 101 for this one. The plot thickens as Devon himself shows up in the video comments to claim his video, but he keeps the true height of his fall to himself. According to the Washington Post, it was 150 feet.
If this seems more horrifying than totally rad, maybe try spending your winter vacation inside an art museum, on a tropical beach, or, hell, even the Sahara Desert is less intense than this.
Plenty of time to think about your fate on the way down. Watch the whole GoPro video, from his helmet:
Feeling the love lately? If you and your sweetheart both partake in our favorite pastime — the enjoyment of marijuana — you’re probably wondering how to elevate your date nights. Sitting on the couch in your sweatpants and watching standup specials as you pass the bong can totally be romantic, but it’s time to mix it up and try something new.
If you live in a state where it’s legal, it’s likely that there are already activities out there for you to jump into. But even if you don’t live in a fully-legal state, these outings can be adapted to sober or smoke-ahead activities. Try searching for one of these, or finding your own way to smoke each other out and enjoy the night.
Tour A Glassblowing Studio
Check out your friendly neighborhood glass merchant and see if they offer on-site tours of their glass blowers at work. It’s super mesmerizing, and you can take home a new souvenir to remember the date. Even in not-yet-legal states, you can find a local glassblowing studio and watch them work. While high. Duh.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BPvQudhjfk8/
Take A Cooking Class
Making a meal together is sexy. Add weed and it can get extra-sensual. Get high beforehand and take a regular class, or attend one in a legal state where you’re actually learning to make edibles. Or, try our guide to cannabutter and get cookin’ at home.
Get High And Paint
Some people do “cocktails and canvas,” or whatever. How about cannabis and canvas instead?
To make sure you’re not stopping at the “get high” portion of the evening, do it with others, in a group setting, where you can giggle uncontrollably at each others’ art and maybe make some new friends.
Get A Couple’s Massage
Some places offer marijuana oil massages that can help with pain relief or just relax you even further, but again, this is an activity you can smoke up beforehand and melt into once you’re there.
Like virtually everyone in politics, 2016 did not proceed as Texas Senator and presidential hopeful Ted Cruz had likely hoped. During the Republican Presidential Candidate Primary, Cruz faced Donald Trump, representing a more conservative establishment to Trump’s outsider popularity contest.
Cruz lost.
As depicted in a recent Politico profile, the knack against Cruz was he wouldn’t play nice with anyone. He was a known bulldog, a conservative guy challenging the system from within, though “that same reputation starved him of establishment support against Trump at a critical juncture of the campaign.”
Cruz appears intent on building—and in some cases repairing—personal relationships with Republican senators. He started a weekly basketball game in the Russell Building, for example, and has been urging colleagues to attend. (Cruz is said to be a surprisingly good jump-shooter with miserable form.) Tim Scott has played, and Marco Rubio is said to be joining soon.
Absolutely incredible mental image. So we all may witness his “miserable form,” Deadspin asked readers to forward footage or photos of Cruz hooping.
For those unaware, a frequent sports joke on the internet involves Duke star Grayson Allen is Ted Cruz’s illegitimate son. Or that they’re related somehow. The resemblance, honestly, is uncanny.
It begs the question: What is even happening? Why are politicians suddenly knowledgeable and fluent in internet humor? Or more likely: How 20-something interns given this much range on Ted Cruz’s personal account? Has the internet’s own shorthand of memes and GIFs turned against it?
Regardless of your demographic or generation you belong to, there’s little denying that GIFs have become an undeniable part of everyday culture. They serve as reference points to jokes and emotions and are just plain funny. For a more print generation, they also remind one of digital flipbooks, able to replay a moment again and again at your choosing.
But if flipbooks helped inspire GIFs then why can’t GIFs help inspire flip books? One programmer who goes by StupotMcDoodlepip answered that question, developing an app that coverts a GIF to numerous single image essentials.
With a quality printer, some programming knowledge (the program was written in C# and utilizes ImageMagick for image processing), and a free afternoon, you can transform your favorite GIF into a flipbook.
StupotMcDoodlepip made the program available on GitHub and is calling it “Print-A-Gif.” However, as the creator warns, “This software probably harbors a few sins. I am not a professional programmer. There will certainly be things that can be optimized /factorized. I threw it together in an evening and it serves its purpose for me.”
By the way, in the most internet Inception move possible, ___ also uploaded a video of a GIF flipbook of him making the previous GIF flipbook. Cue the Christopher Nolan BWWWWWONG music.
Recently, TV has proven that there really is no end to some stories. In 2016 we saw many revivals with varying degrees of success, like “Gilmore Girls,” which had people flipping out, and “Fuller House,” which almost everyone hated.
It’s easy to wonder why Hollywood insists on bringing back shows that have been dead for really long time – seriously, like decades – but the truth is, people are still anxiously expecting them with a mixture of wonder and dread, hoping that their childhood memories aren’t ruined and also curious about the possibilities of the continuation of the story.
Here, we bring you the weirdest and latest reboots that will soon grace your TV screen.
“24: Legacy”
24 was HUGE when it came out back in 2001, spanning over 8 seasons, becoming the longest running cop show on the US, and putting Keifer Sutherland in the world’s radar. The show was extremely creative in terms of storytelling, keeping us all at the edge of our seats due to the ticking clock that hovered on the edge of the screen, indicating that what we were watching was happening in real time.
The trailer for 24: Legacy tells us that the new show will look a lot like the old 24, mirroring the use of split screens and the focus on terrorism and politics.
Will Keifer Sutherland make a cameo as a weathered Jack Bauer? Who the hell knows.
This is a weird one. The CW is currently developing a TV adaptation of the beloved Nicholas Sparks novel. The book was the basis for one of the largest movie phenomenons the world has ever seen, launching the career of Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams, and introducing us to their infamous love affair but, we digress.
The CW stated that the series will pick up just after the movie’s conclusion, following the lives of Noah and Allie as they build on their relationship during the aftermath of WWII in 1940’s North Carolina.
“Blue Crush”
For those of you who don’t know, Blue Crush was released in 2002, and focused on the life of three surfer girls in Hawaii. The movie became a huge hit, making a star out of Kate Bosworth, and introducing many girls to the idea of becoming surfers and finding hot surfer boyfriends.
The show is currently being developed by NBC and there’s not a lot of information out there, so we leave you with the movie’s trailer, with all of its soapy dialogue and 2002 glory.
You don’t need to have seen Dirty Dancing to be familiar with this transcendent line.
The 1987 movie was an unexpected hit, launching Patrick Swayze’s career and immortalizing “Time of My Life”. It also spanned a latinized remake and, currently, a three hour TV event developed by ABC. The new adaptation will star Abigail Breslin, Debra Messing, Nicole Scherzinger and newcomer Colt Prattes.
We leave you with the movie’s most famous dance scene. We’re pretty sure you already know which one it is.
“Will & Grace”
Spanning eight seasons, Will & Grace was incredibly progressive when it first came out (ha), introducing the first gay character to be featured on the title of a network show. It became one of NBC’s most acclaimed series and still is credited with helping and improving the public’s perspective on the LGBT community.
NBC has confirmed the continuation of the show with a 10-episode series that will air during the 2017/18 season.
