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Florida’s Graffiti Vigilante Takes On Potholes With Dick Drawings

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If this strategy worked, a lot more passed-out drunk dudes would have their lives fixed overnight.

Cliff Pryor, a 27-year-old Florida resident — in the most reasonable and logical Florida Man moment of 2016 — took a creative path toward getting his pothole-covered street fixed. He drew a dick on it. 

Who can blame him for trying? He was inspired by the British version of Banksy, an anonymous artist known as ‘Wanksy,” who also took upon his shoulders the great, throbbing burden of civic duty by drawing penises around potholes. In that case, the city fixed the potholes right away, after some rebuke from the city council: “Has this person, for just one second, considered how families with young children must feel when they are confronted with these obscene symbols as they walk to school?”

Florida is apparently just as squeamish about seeing a spray-painted penis on the sidewalk. They’re not cool with people riding manatees, or prank pizza calls, and they’re definitely not chill about with this.

While the UK masked crusader finished his mission and drifted into anonymity, our personal Wanksy got busted. Cops came across the artistic vigilante in the act, according to the Florida Sun Post, early on a Friday morning when a cruiser pulled up behind him mid-spray. They nailed him with a criminal mischief charge. 

Pryor is “unrepentant,” the Sun Post reports, speaking out to local journalists about his stance against potholes. He believes that his actions could save someone from a flat tire or accident. And indeed, within 24 hours, his artwork was filled in. He’s not the hero that we want, and probably not even the hero that we need. But he is definitely the hero we deserve.

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Please Bow Down To The Greatest iPhone Heist Of The Century

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If you bought a girl in China an iPhone 7 recently, you might be a founding member of the Club for Men Who Just Got Played.

This tale of hustler divahood unfolded on a Chinese media blog, according to the BBC, which verified it all to be true. A person writing under the pseudonym ‘Proud Qiaoba’ on the blogging platform the Tian Ya Yi Du forum wrote about her colleague ‘Xiaoli.’ Our hero persuaded each of her 20 boyfriends to buy her an iPhone 7.

She then sold them all to a mobile phone recycling site for 120,000 Chinese yuan, equal to about $17,717 USD, and laughed all the way to a down payment on a house in the countryside. Hell yes.

Xiaoli “is not from a wealthy family,” Proud Qiaoba wrote. “Her mum is a housewife and her dad is a migrant worker, and she is the oldest daughter. Her parents are getting old and she might be under a lot pressure hoping to buy them a house… But it’s still unbelievable that she could use this method!”

Let’s break this story down, because there’s a lot going on here. First, we learn that Xiaoli had 20 guys on the side. All of the sides. She could play a game of D&D and have a dude’s name come up on every roll of the dice. Her dating life is a KFC bucket meal: So many sides. How does one even juggle that many romantic relationships? We need to see this girl’s text history. Does every one of her boos have a different emoji for every contact name, or do they all have elaborate nicknames? Her bedroom walls must look like she’s about to steal the Declaration of Independence. Just plotting schematics everywhere.

The organization skills needed here are on another level, but what about the manipulation necessary to convince that many boyfriends to buy her a phone? The iPhone 7 came out in mid-September. That gave her about a month to make all of this happen. This romantic heist is basically Ocean’s Eleven meets a gender-bent John Tucker Must Die. We don’t know what she did or said to them to convince them each to buy her a $700 phone, but we’d appreciate the notes.

Some readers of the blog share our admiration for this heist, writing that she has “a bright future.” Others called her “the most shameless person,” but you know what, shame is overrated and countryside property ain’t cheap.

[h/t BBC]

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Netflix Queue: 6 Must-Watch Stand-Up Comedy Specials For Weed Lovers

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Weed lovers, listen up: It’s no secret that Netflix has been doubling down on stand-up comedy in the past couple of years and they’re only accelerating with recent announcements like the reported $40 million deal that will bring two brand new Chris Rock specials to the streaming video giant.

It’s also no secret that the recipe for a great evening can consist of packing a bowl, melting into your couch, and turning on one of Netflix’s stand-up comedy specials (or four) while laughing to the point of tears. So if you love weed and comedy and are looking for a place to kick off your nightly viewing session, try any of these for a surefire good time.

Joe Rogan “Triggered” (2016)


Length: 1h 3m
Smoking Recommendation: Sativa or Sativa-Dominant Hybrid
“The people making edibles need to slow the f-ck down!”

Live from San Francisco, veteran comedian Joe Rogan comes right out and lets the audience know he’s “high as f-ck” and that’s a good thing for them. The first five minutes of Rogan’s special are a must-see for anyone who has ingested an edible before and there is no way you’ll make it past the initial clip without finishing out the rest of his 2016 special soon thereafter.

Doug Benson “Doug Dynasty” (2014)

Length: 1h
Smoking Recommendation: Indica
“People get confused when I say I’m sober. I’m dedicated to marijuana.”

Doug Benson may be the most well-known among comedy’s stable of pot-smoking joke tellers and for good reason too — “Getting Doug with High” has attracted some of entertainment’s top talent to get stoned with Doug and talk shop. In his 2014 stand-up special “Doug Dynasty,” you get him in true form with eyes at half-mast reading fan tweets, telling pot jokes galore, and offering a whole slew of amazing jokes.

Ralphie May “Unruly” (2015)

Length: 1h 23m
Smoking Recommendation: Indica-Dominant Hybrid
“How did this plane lift off with me being this f-cking high?”

Ralphie May’s unmistakable Southern drawl brings a unique delivery style that will no doubt leaving you heaving with laughter as he discusses the ins and outs of being stoned on a cross-country redeye flight. Smoke a strain that gives you a nice body high to sink into the couch and enjoy Ralphie’s extra-long set.

Chris Porter “Ugly and Angry” (2014)

Length: 1h
Smoking Recommendation: Sativa
“Remember when you told me you didn’t like it when I smell like pot? Well I don’t like when you smell like pickle …”

You may have caught Chris Porter as a finalist of the fourth season of NBC’s “Last Comic Standing,” but his full-length comedy special is a different breed filled with the kinds of expletive-filled diatribes on daily annoyances that anyone can relate to. Plus there’s his affinity for Taco Bell …

Leslie Jones “Problem Child” (2009)

Length: 59m
Smoking Recommendation: Hybrid
“The weed commercials don’t work for me at all — them motherfuckers just make me want to smoke more weed.”

She may be a household name now, but in 2009 Leslie Jones was still four years away from auditioning for “Saturday Night Live.” As you can tell in “Problem Child” though, there’s a reason she was hired for both her writing and performing abilities. The jokes are on-point and her stage persona is as engaging as ever. If you haven’t had the chance to check out her solo stand-up, there’s no better way than lighting up some OG Kush and laughing your ass off.

Tom Segura “Mostly Stories” (2016)

Length: 1h 13m
Smoking Recommendation: Hybrid
“I’m not making fun of you if you’re religious … I think it’s fair to say there’s some times I don’t want to hear about it, you know? Like working out, um, getting high.”

Tom Segura’s aptly titled “Mostly Stories” is the perfect forum for his masterful delivery of hilarious tales dealing with everything from his oddly religious personal trainer to why some people just suck … like the kind of people who bring crying babies into movie theaters. Sit back, relax, and soak in Segura’s latest stand-up special with the assistance of a tasty Lemon Kush or the like.

Watch Pusha T’s New PSA For California Weed Legalization

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Pusha T is the latest in a collective of artists to voice public support for Proposition 64, a law that will legalize and regulate adult recreational use (21 and up) of marijuana in California. Medicinal marijuana is already legal in California, and has been since 1996.

Artists for 64 is a coalition that includes Jay Z, Shailene Woodley, Olivia Wilde, Harry Belafonte, Al Harrington, and more. Not only is this collective supporting the law for medicinal purposes, but there’s also a large social justice component to it as well.

“I’m not a California voter, but I know when good legislation passes in the biggest state, other states follow,” Pusha T says in the video. “And that’s an important step in ending mass incarceration across the country. If ending prohibition on marijuana reduces recidivism, then let’s do it.”

Watch the G.O.O.D. Music President speak on the issue below. Pusha T is currently working on his third album, King Push.

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Toronto Poop Bandits Make Life Stink For Neighbors

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Toronto has a poop problem.

Earlier this month, a 60-year-old man was was charged with 12 counts of mischief and 12 counts of offensive volatile substance after getting caught leaving cups of feces and urine on parking meters. That’s one way to protest your city’s shitty parking laws.

Now, the stuff is raining down from the sky, the Toronto Sun reports. Their amazing news lead paints a picture: “It started with a single plastic bag of excrement landing in a North York condo building laneway about a year ago.” Once upon a time, in a sleepy Canadian town…

It’s gotten worse recently, as up to “five little clumps of poop — human or animal unknown” plus  glass bottles and fruits fall to the ground near a daycare and a construction site. Neighbors and nearby worker filed complaints about the waste, but so far there have been no leads. Only heresy.

Victor Tran, the unofficial Neighborhood Poop Watch committee chairman, has had enough. He posted photos to Reddit asking for help cracking the case. “There was only one guy who witnessed an Asian lady chuck s— off her balcony, but no one has any hard evidence,” Tran, 32, told the Sun. “It’s just getting a lot worse now. It used to be once a month. There are multiple piles. Everyone’s been complaining. It’s disgusting.”

Will Toronto please get its shit together? If not for the kids, at least for the construction workers?

[h/t Toronto Sun]

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Why Some California Growers Will Vote Against Legalized Weed

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It was supposed to be a straw that finally broke the prohibitionists’ back. It was supposed to be the crowning achievement of cannabis activism. Instead, California’s second attempt to legalize marijuana has become an insular fight pitting longtime growers against cannabis reformers.

With all things regarding marijuana, the controversy surrounding Proposition 64 — The Adult Use of Marijuana Act — is complicated. And the battle is as ugly as it is confusing.

Prop. 64 has the full support of nearly every pro-marijuana advocacy group across the nation. The voter initiative is leading comfortably in nearly every poll. American attitudes in favor of marijuana have never been higher. And yet, growers who have spent decades cultivating the plant and battling for progressive laws are actively rooting for defeat. What gives? Why are marijuana growers hoping in bed politically with Just-Say-No acolytes?

Follow the money

“I don’t want to replace a criminal injustice with an economic injustice,” said Hezekiah Allen, the executive director of the California Growers Association, a marijuana trade group.

Allen,  a third-generation marijuana farmer in Humboldt County — the hub of the world famous “Emerald Triangle” where some of the best plants are cultivated — is not alone in his concerns.

The California Growers Association is taking a neutral stance on Prop. 64 after a recent survey found an even split among its 750 members: 31 percent in favor, 31 percent against, and 38 percent undecided.

Opponents fear the legislation will mean costly taxes and regulations and shrinking prices. And, of course, many abhor the creeping corporate interests that might force smaller operators out of the industry altogether.

“Legalization will end our way of life up here. Period. End of story,” said one long-time grower who wished to remain anonymous in the tight-knit community of Mendocino. “I’ve been doing this for 38 harvests and I am almost certain this is my last,” he said.

The average price of wholesale marijuana has dropped from $2,030 a pound in January to $1,664 in August, according to Cannabis Benchmarks, a cannabis pricing outfit. And wholesalers were getting closer to $3,500 not too long ago. In the out-of-state black market, the prices have also dipped.

It’s the economy, stupid

California is the sixth-largest economy in the world and is the state produces more cannabis than any other state. (Medical marijuana has been legal in the state since 1996. The state’s black market is responsible for most of the domestic inventory.)

According to most experts, the combined legal and illegal market for marijuana is worth an estimated $30 billion. If California, as expected, legalizes weed, that figure would soar.

Market research firm New Frontier estimates that California’s marijuana sales would skyrocket from $2.76 billion in 2015 to $6.46 billion by 2020.

Some farmers detest the law, but fear a ballot defeat would, in the long run, be the wrong move. “If we vote against it, California may lose its No. 1 position,” said the unnamed Mendocino farmer. “Colorado, Oregon and other states are already ahead of us in the legal market. If we want in, the time may be now.”

The ballot battle for marijuana is not confined to California. Arizona, Maine, Massachusetts and Nevada will vote on full, adult-use legalization on Nov. 8. Arkansas, Florida, Montana and North Dakota will decide on medical marijuana programs.

Ground zero for legalization

But California is considered to be Ground Zero for legalization in 2016. In fact, many consider this vote the tipping point of the marijuana movement. As with other social trends and movements, California often leads the way.

And that includes political financial muscle. Pro-cannabis supporters have poured nearly $25 million in donations.The No on 64 side has received less than $2 million.

“If an overwhelming number of states that have marijuana-specific initiatives on the ballot pass those measures, that could be interpreted by federal lawmakers as a mandate,” said Paul Armentano, deputy director of NORML.  “But if several of them do not pass, then it is likely that lawmakers will continue to be reluctant to address marijuana law reform at the federal level.”

But it’s not all about commodity economics and electoral politics. Lost amid all the tumult and infighting among marijuana advocates, are the medical patients. And they have their own concerns.

Some longtime beneficiaries of California’s lax medical program are fighting against unfair taxation of their medicine and restricted access. Some patient advocates believe Prop. 64 will essentially gut the state’s medical program. But not all agree.

“This measure is first and foremost a public health measure,” according to Dr. Donald I. Abrams, chief of hematology-Oncology at San Francisco General Hospital. “It will fundamentally change California’s approach to dealing with marijuana, generating necessary resources to improve public health, allowing for more clinical research, and strengthening the physician-patient relationship.”

A victory for social justice

So, as the economic, political and medical stakeholders continue the divisive —but maybe unavoidable —debate, one thing is clear: The criminal justice component of the debate cries out for reform.

“Reforming our marijuana laws is an important civil rights issue,” says Alice Huffman, California chapter president of the NAACP. “The current system is counterproductive, financially wasteful and racially biased — and the people of California want it to be fixed.  This measure will ensure that California is not unjustly criminalizing responsible adults while ensuring that our children and our communities are protected and vital state and local services are funded.” 

Even as more and more Americans support legalization, citizens, disproportionately people of color, are still being put behind bars for nonviolent drug arrests. There were 574,641 arrests made for simple marijuana possession in 2015, which means that someone is busted every minute in the U.S. for carrying around cannabis. The incidents are dropping, but legalizing cannabis in California would dramatically sink that number.

On Election Night 2o16, most Americans will gaze at the Hillary Clinton-Donald Trump electoral map with mad anticipation. But one of the biggest battles of the night will be all about cannabis. The tipping point.

So what does this mean for you?

For all the ruckus surrounding California’s Proposition 64 (The Adult Use of Marijuana Act) — and by no means is it an ideal piece of legislation — there are some demonstrable benefits for legalization.

Benefits for patients:

  • No change or limit to the protections provided by the Compassionate Use Act (Proposition 215).
  • Patients with voluntary ID cards can still buy state tax-exempt medical marijuana from licensed dispensaries.
  • Patients would still be able to grow marijuana. With Prop. 64, all adults are allowed to grow up to six plants.

Benefits for parents:

  • Parents will no longer be discriminated against for using medical marijuana. Prop. 64 would take corrective actions on child custody laws.
  • The legislation provides funding for teen drug prevention and treatment programs.
  • Prop. 64 provides the “toughest-in-the-nation protections” for children.

Benefits for social justice:

  • Current penalties for marijuana crimes are disproportionately enforced against people of color. The law will eliminate or reduce these penalties.
  • These penalty reductions will be retroactive. Past convictions for crimes eliminated by Prop. 64 may be expunged from a criminal record.
  • Protects Californians from being discriminated in the workplace.
  • Law would limit minors’ access to marijuana by prohibiting marketing and advertising to youth.

Benefits for the economy:

  • The legislation will raise an estimated $1 billion in new tax revenues annually. It will also save the state millions of dollars in reduced taxpayer costs (arrests, jails, etc.)
  • Support economic development in minority communities disproportionately impacted by marijuana prohibition.
  • The legislation will provide millions of dollars for research.

Happy Halloween! You Need To See These Pumpkins NASA Carved

Pumpkin carving often falls into two categories: amateur and exemplary. No shame in this pumpkin game. Some are just better than others.

But even the best crafting moms and artsy hipsters who drink cold-pressed juice have nothing on the folks at NASA. Whatever pumpkin carving competition exists, they won it.

Not only can these scientists send people to the moon, they can also carve a fresh pumpkin. You can check out all the entries here, but we collected some of our favorites for you below.

https://twitter.com/YazzieSays/status/791734013735997440

https://twitter.com/YazzieSays/status/791734536581156864

World’s Oldest Woman Reveals Her Raw Egg Diet

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Supermodels and supercentenarian. They’re perhaps the only two sets of people who cause our ears to perk up when they start talking about what they eat in a day.

Emma Morano will turn 117-years old on November 29, and now the world’s oldest living human is letting us in on her coveted diet secrets.

Morano, who was born in Verbania, Italy in 1899 says she sustains on 2 raw eggs every day; it’s a habit the Huffington Post says she started to help counter her anemia. Morano also eats cookies, which hopefully she uses as a chaser to help disguise the taste and texture of gnarly uncooked egg parts. Speaking to the AFP News Agency, Morano says she doesn’t eat much because she has no teeth.

Not to overshadow the power of her Rocky-esque diet, but Morano hints that what is truly keeping her alive is her independence. She’s been divorced since her 30s and has remained single.

Her doctor says Morano tends to bounce back when she’s sick, and when she’s well, “she really is well.” Happy early birthday, Emma!

(h/t Huffington Post)

 

Consume is an essential source for food and beverage news, trends, tips, original recipes and everything in between. Want to read more? Try these posts: Decoding The Subtle Cues Of Restaurants, 9 Of The Best Pumpkin Beers In America, and What I Ate Today: Coquine’s Katy Millard.

Coffee & Cannabis: 5 Expert Combos To Kickstart Your Morning

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The phrase “wake and bake” has been around for as long as cannabis smokers can remember and despite the childlike connotation it gleaned over time, there is something special about waking up with marijuana. It can spur creativity and wash away morning grogginess — not to mention the medicinal properties. Check out some ways you can pair cannabis with your coffee in the morning and see which one works best for you!

Cold Brew and White Widow (Or Your Favorite Energizing Strain)

If it’s creativity and productivity you seek, there may be no better combination than an icy-cold brew with some White Widow packed however you like it best — in a joint, bowl, bong or baked into a morning pastry.

So when you’re looking for some inspiration, grab a cup of your favorite cold brew and toke up!

Espresso and a Joint

If you’re the type of person who begins the morning with a shot of espresso, it may be nice to balance out the jolt of energy with the euphoric high of a strain like Blue Dream or OG Kush that won’t totally leave you melted into the couch, but with a feeling of being able to conquer the day without yesterday’s stresses weighing too heavily on your back.

The best advice anyone can offer is to experiment to see which strain combination works best for you.

Dark Roast and Dark Chocolate

You’re a grownup and if you want to have chocolate for breakfast, who’s going to stop you? Pick up any number of the wonderful cannabis-infused dark chocolate products on the market (Bhang and KIVA both make great bars) and enjoy a piece as you brew up a strong cup of dark roast coffee.

bhang

By the time you’re done with your java and begin the morning, you’ll start feeling a nice lingering high set in.

Cannabutter-Infused Bulletproof Coffee

Bulletproof Coffee, as Dave Asprey explains on the company’s blog, consists of Upgraded Coffee blended with grass-fed unsalted butter and Brain Octane Oil — the combination of which has been shown to help some people’s energy and cognitive function.

Even better? It’s wonderfully delicious and the addition of butter allows for a quick substitution that can give you and an all-in-one caffeine and cannabis jolt that will sweep the morning grogginess right out of your head.

Commercial Products

You’re a busy person. That’s why you drink coffee in the first place, right? And who has time to deal with figuring out which strain to pair to which bean anyways? Well you’re in luck! The cannabis business has come a far way in the past couple of years and it’s bound to only go further.

There are already products on the market that have caffeine and cannabis pre-loaded together and surely there are more to come.

Check out Jane’s Brew Gourmet Cannabis-Infused Coffee, Pot-O-Coffee, Catapult Coffee, and others for your morning fix without the hassle.

Enough Already With The National Food Holidays

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Raise your hand if these national food holidays are starting to really bug you.

Waking up every morning, only to find out that you’re somehow supposed to observe National Latte Foam Day or maybe National Chocolate Covered Cherry Day, National Marzipan Day or National Lobster Thermidor Day (those are all real days, by the way). Who has the time?

To ask an entire nation, already overflowing with daily responsibilities, to put aside some spare time to honor a ridiculous food holiday — what’s the point? No, seriously.

Here are just a few examples of real “holidays” that don’t come with presents or days off work.

National Pumpkin Day: Don’t we already have two of those days, namely Halloween and Thanksgiving?

https://www.instagram.com/p/BLfBgYJj-8Y/

National Chocolate Cupcake Day: Pretty sure that’s also known as “every day.”

https://www.instagram.com/p/BLtqV83DKnJ/

National Coffee Day: See above.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BLBlR9kD0oL/

National Greasy Food Day: Again, see above.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BMAUn4Ygw6w/

National Corn Chip Day: Not to brag, but the 80s were National Corn Chip Decade.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BBH-a-KzPbs/

National Apple Dumpling Day: Who the hell eats these things? Better yet, who is making these things?

https://www.instagram.com/p/BKeY3lRAPMp/

National Food Day: This is actually a thing on top of all the other things.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BL893czjEQ_/

Grub Street recently wrote about this growing nightmare, pointing out that the real motivation behind these made-up Hallmark-like holidays isn’t to revel in random foods, it’s to seemingly spike (even more) Instagram food photos.

At their very best, these national food days might highlight something everyone loves and gets excited to eat. But do we really need something like National Nacho Day?

So, the next time it’s National Feed The Social Media Marketing Machine Day, please avoid posting photos. It’s time to stop the monster. Plus, we already know what food looks like.

Consume is an essential source for food and beverage news, trends, tips, original recipes and everything in between. Want to read more? Try these posts: Decoding The Subtle Cues Of Restaurants, 9 Of The Best Pumpkin Beers In America, and What I Ate Today: Coquine’s Katy Millard.

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