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Gene Wilder Gave Voice To A World Of Pure Imagination

Not everyone has a voice they can call their own. Most voices come from somewhere; they’re derivative. Possibly you picked up the way your mother’s voice reaches into that higher register when she’s excited, or you liked the way an uncle called his friends “lads,” so you instituted that word into your speech. But, Gene Wilder gave voice to a world of pure imagination, and the world is better for it.

My father calls himself “The Waco Kid.” For the longest time, I assumed his reasoning followed simple logic: He was born there. As a military brat, my dad’s family moved around a bunch, living a time in such extremes as Arizona and Germany, so I thought his “Waco Kid” nickname helped situate what must have been a constantly shifting sense of place. Perhaps this is part of the truth, but I was a kid then and kids dream their own backstories to unexplained narratives.

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I’m sure you see where this is going. One evening Dad was out on the back porch and Blazing Saddles played on Turner Classic Movies. Though it was late, we ended up watching the whole movie together. When Gene Wilder appeared onscreen, I’d only ever known him as Willy Wonka, but that’s when I learned where part of my dad’s voice came from: “The Waco Kid.”

Gene Wilder could never be considered derivative, at least not in his film roles. His was a voice all his own. You’ve likely heard the tragic news that Gene Wilder has passed away at the age of 83 Monday, losing a three-year long battle with Alzheimer’s disease. This afternoon, his nephew released a statement that explained why Wilder chose to hide his sickness that made its way online. In short, he didn’t want kids who knew him only as “Willy Wonka” to approach him and have that moment be ruined by parents having to later explain his illness. “He simply couldn’t bear the idea of one less smile in the world,” Jordan Walker-Pearlman wrote.

That kind of sentiment breaks your heart. Those pieces pulped just further reading that Wilder’s son had signed the note as “Gene’s Kid.”

When we eulogize any person, we’re verbalizing regrets over lost time, a life no more. With those special artists, our mourning concerns lost creations. So-and-so will never write another novel, no more paintings from that genius. Most will lament the disappearance of Gene Wilder from the screen. Though he retreated long ago—his last film was 1991’s Another You, co-starring with longtime collaborator and friend Richard Pryor; his final onscreen TV performance was in 2003 playing Mr. Stein in Will & Grace—a hope remained some role would entice him out of retirement.

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“I don’t like show business, I realized,” he said in a 2008 TCM appearance. “I like show, but I don’t like the business.”

What I’ll miss most is his voice. I simply can’t bear the idea Gene Wilder’s voice won’t be heard anymore. A warmth hugged his words, how that first syllable quickly crescendoed into existence and the last receded the same way. It played various instruments: He could thunder “YOU GET NOTHING” like an incensed trombone choir, and convince you of that bassoon quack “Fronkensteen.” The guy could literally sing.

His characters always seemed in possession of some winking secret they couldn’t wait to spill. But you had to earn it, you had to ask, you had to go along for his ride. There’s a great story about his portrayal of Willy Wonka. When Wonka, his legend enormous by then, makes his grand entrance, he walks with a cane and a limp. The crowd quiets, all wanting to gain a better look of the man. Had he become a cripple in his old age? Then his cane sticks in the cobblestone and Wonka starts to fall over, but gracefully turns the move into a somersault, popping up smiling, to a round of applause.

It was Wilder’s idea and his one requirement in accepting the film. When pressed to explain why he said, “Because from that time on, no one will know if I’m lying or telling the truth.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz9jc5blzRM

He was such a physical savant in that way. So few comedies deal in that physical realm nowadays, but that discussion is for another time.

Instead, let’s now remember that winking face and his orchestral voice, and how Gene Wilder invented worlds unto himself. Reflecting on his career, you want to know where he came from. Whatever wonderful universe that is, that’s where he’ll hopefully return. But those questions of origin will fade once you see him onscreen again, because Wilder convinced you to join him on whatever adventure his characters were embarking. You always followed. Because more than anything, you wanted to be wherever he was going. It was a world of pure imagination.

Watch What Happens When This Kid Soaks His Sister’s Teeth In Soda

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A popular household hack involves using Coke instead of traditional cleaner to scrub your toilet bowl. A kid named Chase wanted to find out if Coke has the same effect on another type of head: yours. Specifically, your teeth. When it comes to Mountain Dew and Coca Cola, which is worse for oral health?

In this experiment, Chase drops two of his sister’s molars (we assume they were previously extracted) into a bottle of the respective colas, where they were left to marinate for three weeks. What happens next will probably not surprise you.

(h/t to Viral Videos for the find)

Gene Wilder’s Best Food Moments In Film

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By now, most of the world has learned that Gene Wilder has died, joining his beloved Gilder Radner as co-stars on the forever stage in the sky. The 83-year old died of Alzheimer’s Disease, which he was diagnosed with three years ago. While he kept his disease private, his legendary movies will be publicly celebrated for years to come. A comedic genius, he has made amazing moved. Here are Gene Wilder’s best food moments in film, where he managed to make the act of eating as entertaining as only he could.

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Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, 1971

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, 1971

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r2pt2-F2j2g

Willy Wonka was a big success when in launched despite positive review. But time has been good to the film. Website Rotten Tomatoes, gives the film a 92% approval rating and an average rating of 8/10 based on 61 reviews. The site’s critical consensus states: “Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory is strange yet comforting, full of narrative detours that don’t always work but express the film’s uniqueness.”

Young Frankenstein, 1974

Stir Crazy, 1980

Alice in Wonderland, 1999

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDxq3GR9leY

He was mainly known for his comedic roles, but also for his portrayal of Willy Wonka in Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (1971). He collaborated with Mel Brooks on the films The Producers (1967), Blazing Saddles (1974) and Young Frankenstein (1974), and with Richard Pryor in the films Silver Streak (1976), Stir Crazy (1980), See No Evil, Hear No Evil (1989) and Another You (1991).

The Pumpkin Spice Latte Is A Delightful Twitter Troll

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Recently I stumbled upon the Pumpkin Spice Latte Twitter account. It began in 2014, around the same time as the culture’s obsession of the pumpkin spice brand. Coincidence? I think not.

https://twitter.com/TheRealPSL/status/496755925274095616

You must understand. The Pumpkin Spice Latte isn’t a drink. It’s a character. It’s a friend. It’s an American Institution, one of the pillars of our modern world. Without its annual return, our purview would fall into drabs of gray and doom, instead of these glorious shades of…orange.

Normally, I wouldn’t be so down with a brand like this. I mean, it’s against my brand. But like just look at these cute photos of a costumed PSL. The commitment is staggering and therefore impressive.

https://twitter.com/TheRealPSL/status/522748889632235521

https://twitter.com/TheRealPSL/status/644169713719771136

https://twitter.com/TheRealPSL/status/645975808280891392

https://twitter.com/TheRealPSL/status/649237327408033792

https://twitter.com/TheRealPSL/status/636916114811846656

https://twitter.com/TheRealPSL/status/652529014968418304

If you’re willing to dress up a glorified latte into lederhosen and design a fake leather jacket for it to wear, I’ll open my cold writer heart to said glorified latte. Who isn’t susceptible to this flavor of kitschy, pure delight? Everything doesn’t need to be serious.

Is the pumpkin spice thing a trend? Sure! But Starbucks is riding that wave as long as possible, and making it fun while doing so. Send this character interview with the PSL Starbucks posted to your mother. It will be her favorite thing. She will mention it to friends and family at Thanksgiving and ask you to find it so everyone else can read it, too. And they’ll all giggle and it’ll become their favorite thing. So let that light shine.

https://twitter.com/TheRealPSL/status/512287594965528576

https://twitter.com/TheRealPSL/status/508298605849899008

I’m only positive of fall’s return because of the PSL (and its Twitter account). Forget returning to school, forget the Big Harvest, forget the autumnal equinox. This is how we measure the changing of seasons in today’s age. Welcome to the pumpkin spice-flavored revolution.

https://twitter.com/TheRealPSL/status/769306022452146177

The Demented, Violent Charm of ‘Lady Killer 2’

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Walking through my comic shop Wednesday evening, I was in the mood for something new. Something I’d never read or had any particular interest in before. That’s when I saw the cover for the first issue of Lady Killer 2 #1. This cover is oddly charming, but in the most demented way, and when you open it, you’ll find that the book itself gives you the exact same feeling.

Set in the late 50s, maybe early 60s, the book opens up at a Tupperware party hosted by some well-off elderly sisters. The protagonist, Josie Schuller, is displaying the pieces of Tupperware, while the ladies gossip. The art style looks like 1950s housewife advertising, until the guests leave and Josie brutally murders the elderly sisters. One while she was sitting on the toilet. Then, like any other good “Stepford wife,” she meticulously cleans the crime scene.

Cover image via Dark Horse Comics, Inc.
Cover image via Dark Horse Comics, Inc.

The story plays out like a slasher film and a dark comedy. You know what’s going to happen next, but at the same time love to watch it unfold. The book is aware of itself, but in the best possible way.  Joelle Jones and Jamie S. Rich have created a strong female character, in a setting where you might not expect to see one.

If you’re a fan of TV’s Mad Men, but thought, “There’s just not enough violence and murder in this show,” then this book is right up your alley. Joelle Jones’s artwork is stunning. The violence and gore is highlighted by the contrast of brightly colored 1950’s clothing and furniture. After an ordinary, humdrum workday, finding this delightfully brutal book made for a satisfying evening.

 

Joey Fatone’s Hot Dog Stand Sparks Chaos At Mall

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Everyone’s favorite big brother, the guy who feeds you ice cream and Whopperitos when mom and dad aren’t home, is at the center of a little mall drama in Florida. Joey “I’m not in a band anymore” Fatone, also known as the only NSYNC member who could pull off facial hair, launched a hot dog kiosk brilliantly named Fat One’s at The Florida Mall recently. And during a standard fire inspection on Thursday afternoon, several balloons were popped, scaring shoppers into thinking they were targets of a wayward gunman.

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Even though an announcement was made on the PA system alerting everyone to the impending inspection, people still freaked out. (An alarm that sounded immediately after the popping sure didn’t help). And remember, it was a little more than two months ago that the Orlando nightclub massacre happened.

Shopper Mark Comer tells WFTV: “People were bumping into things, getting stepped on, falling, children getting dragged by their arms.”

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Nine people were treated at the scene, including four who were hospitalized for minor injuries.

Fat One’s is scheduled to open September 10. Fatone is expected to make an appearance. Just don’t ask him to sing.

MTV Gives Kanye The VMA Stage To Do Whatever He Wants

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Apple releases more and more emojis for which we can express ourselves and yet at times like this I can’t find any that properly capture my emotions. If you haven’t heard: According to TMZ, MTV will give Kanye West four minutes to do whatever he wants at the VMAs.

Currently, producers are completely unaware of what he might do. He could rap, he could debut new music, he could “rant,” he could reveal his 2020 presidential platform, he could just stand there in silence, staring directly into the camera, his expressionless face there to just deal with. That would be a very Kanye move.

Of course, the VMAs and Kanye have a tumultuous history. The VMAs boasts the dubious honors of hosting the infamous Kanye-Taylor Swift debacle, an incident producing ripple effects still. Last year, Ye received the Michael Jackson Video Vanguard Award and delivered a memorable speech/stream-of-consciousness waterfall that included the now indelible phrase, “Listen to the kids, bro!”

But focusing on those absurd moments belittle the possibilities of Yeezus; it’s a sentiment too interested in crafting Kanye as cartoon instead of artist. Because he’s had some breathtaking, musical moments as well. If you miss the old Kanye, the pink-polo Kanye, he performed a College Dropout medley in 2004, where he brought out the KWEEN, Ms. Chaka Khan, while the camera continuously cuts to Jay Z, a clearly proud big brother. It’s also the site when he introduced 808s & Heartbreak Ye, donning the iconic gray pinstripes, the beating heart pin, the Mohawk. It remains the best live rendition of “Love Lockdown,” including the album version (those drums kick like pure molten fire).

And the VMA stage is where Ye claimed his redemption from that T-Swift controversy, going full maestro with ballerinas, vocoders, and Pusha T for his “toast for the douchebogs” classic, “Runaway.”  Plus, just three years ago, he delivered a  haunting “Blood on the Leaves” performance, lights extinguishes, his black silhouette flailing, dangerously flirting with the tree branches of the photograph behind him, which were inspired by New Orleans lynching gallows.

What will Kanye do? Rumors float it might involve Swift again, possibly a making-up of sorts. Perhaps he’ll just speak whatever’s on his mind. Personally, I hope it involves music. A “Champions” performance with the whole G.O.O.D. Music crew sans Gucci Mane (still on house arrest) would be more fun. Or perhaps an alternative version of something from Life of Pablo. Kanye started the Saint Pablo tour this month (and it looks bonkers), maybe give fans an appetizer of what’s to come. The music, the theatrical performances, that’s why we love Ye, not the controversies.

Whatever it is, Kanye will give us a moment. He always does.

Some Of The Creepiest Stuff To Come Out Of 100 Years Of The National Park Service

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Nature is freakin’ creepy. It’s full of things that could outrun, out-fly, or out-climb feeble humans. It makes weird noises at night. It has bats, and spiders, and big-ass fish. Those are all fine in their place, but do we have to intrude on them with our big dumb clumsy flesh-suits? And look, fish just shouldn’t be that big! Where does it end.

That’s not even counting what lies on the other side of this dimension, ya know? In addition to all of the biological “nopes” that exist in the world, there’s a slew of paranormal WTF stuff out there, waiting for us to park our campers and stumble into the unknown. To celebrate the National Park Service’s 100th birthday, let’s talk about it. Are you ready? *shines flashlight onto face* Here we go.

Photo by Flickr user allispossible.org.uk
Photo by Flickr user allispossible.org.uk

If ghosts were real, Civil War battlegrounds would be brimming with these intangible assholes, and Get­tys­burg, PA would be their capital city. At Devil’s Den, tourists to the spot report seeing a rifle-carrying, barefoot ghost who whispers, “What you’re look­ing for is over there.” Nah dude.

Mammoth Cave National Park claims the titles of most haunted. It’s got stories about lovesick girls dying of tuberculosis, strange visions of people who aren’t really there, and sagas involving tragic feuds. One story told by a tour guide stands out:

When they reached a point on the trail called the “Methodist Church”, they usually turned out all of the lights so that visitors could experience what the cave was like in pitch blackness. She was standing at the back of the group when the lights went out and she could hear the lead ranger talking about the experience. Then, she felt a strong shove against her shoulder. The assault was hard enough that she had to step forward to keep from falling over. She turned to another ranger, who was supposed to be standing next to her and she whispered to him to stop clowning around. A moment later, the lead ranger ignited the wick on a lantern and she saw that the other ranger, she had thought was close to her, was actually about 70 feet away. There was no way that he could have shoved her and then walked so far in complete darkness. “There was no one near me,” she said, “but it was a playful shove. There are a number of us who feel things in various parts of the cave. It’s not frightening — but it’s something else.”

I’d call that frightening, but that’s just me.

As if water shooting up from the Earth at random isn’t scary enough, this Yellowstone ranger tells the tale of finding an eerie campsite:

Inside I found a cloth sleeping back, some dirty clothes, LOTS of food (Big cans of spaghetti-o’s, and what looked like some leftovers from a refried beans and rice dinner), and a teddy bear. Everything reeked of cigarette smoke. […] I spent some time poking around the area, but never saw any other sign. It was obviously someone who was not prepared for camping out in the backcountry, judging by the food and equipment, and the teddy bear….I just don’t know.

Finding a teddy bear in a place where teddy bears shouldn’t be ups the creepy factor by 10.

Someone claiming to be a Search and Rescue officer for the US Forest Service posted several of their own stories on Reddit’s No Sleep subreddit, so there’s a good chance they’re fake, but they’re creepy enough to go here, anyway. One describes finding a woman curled up under a rotted log:

Along the way, she kept looking behind us and asking us why ‘that big man with black eyes’ was following us. We couldn’t see anyone, so we just wrote it off as some weird symptom of shock. But the closer we got to base, the more agitated this woman got. She kept asking me to tell him to stop ‘making faces’ at her. At one point she stopped and turned around and started yelling into the forest, saying that she wanted him to leave her alone. She wasn’t going to go with him, she said, and she wouldn’t give us to him. We finally got her to keep moving, but we started hearing these weird noises coming from all around us. It was almost like coughing, but more rhythmic and deeper. It was almost insect-like, I don’t really know how else to describe it. When we were within site of base ops, the woman turns to me, and her eyes are about as wide as I can imagine a human could open them. She touches my shoulder and says ‘He says to tell you to speed up. He doesn’t like looking at the scar on your neck.’ I have a very small scar on the base of my neck, but it’s mostly hidden under my collar, and I have no idea how this woman saw it. Right after she says it, I hear that weird coughing right in my ear, and I just about jumped out of my skin. I hustled her to ops, trying not to show how freaked out I was, but I have to say I was really happy when we left the area that night.

Another details the experience of a man who’d fallen down a cliff and got trapped:

He kept talking about how he’d been doing fine, and when he’d gotten to the top, a man had been there. He said the guy had no climbing equipment, and he was wearing a parka and ski pants. He walked up to the guy, and when the guy turned around, he said he had no face. It was just blank. He freaked out, and ended up trying to get off the mountain too fast, which is why he’d fallen. He said he could hear the guy all night, climbing down the mountain and letting out these horrible muffled screams.

Yosemite’s another national park that’s hella haunted. The former operator of the Ahwahnee Hotel is supposedly still floating up and down hallways, “checking in” on guests like a major creeper and rocking in chairs that don’t exist.

Photo by Flickr user Jerald Jackson
Photo by Flickr user Jerald Jackson

Near Yosemite’s Grouse Lake, a boy reportedly wanders and wails to passers-by. The park’s first ranger, Galen Clark, went for a long walk when he heard “a distinct wailing cry, somewhat like a puppy when lost.” He asked a nearby Native American hunting camp what they thought of this:

“They replied that it was not a dog—that a long time ago an Indian boy had been drowned in the lake, and that every time anyone passed there he always cried after them, and no one dared go into the lake, for (the boy) would catch them by the legs and pull them down and they would be drowned.”

Finally, The Fresh Toast’s own photo editor Roslyn shares her tale of park-related weirdness:

We were camping in a tent at Big Bend National Park, in Chisos Basin Campground and I heard noises in the middle of the night. I thought I could feel a little girl spirit standing right at the foot of my head but it felt more like an endless shadow. I brushed it off and tried to get back to sleep, assuming it was a mountain lion or bear because we were told those come into the camp grounds. But there were no tracks when we woke up. Later, someone told me a similar thing happened to them in that park a year before.

Chisos, the name of the mountains where she was camping, is a Native American word meaning “ghost” or “spirit.” Yep, probably definitely haunted!

So there you have it. We have two choices. Stay indoors where there’s Wi-Fi, or at least near enough to civilization that you can tweet about the messed-up X-Files stuff happening to you. Or venture out into your nearest National Park with one of those flashlights that double as a club, and let’s be real, a change of underwear.

This Guy Is A Better Cyclist Than You and Everyone Else

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How much testicular fortitude do you require to attempt a stunt like this? A lot, right? By my calculations, Lance Armstrong (allegedly) couldn’t attempt a stunt like this because [This redaction brought to you by Livestrong] and we all know the effect (alleged) injections have down below.

Anyways, this guy is my 10-year-old self’s hero. I might buy a bike just to try this out (plus: I live in Austin; the bike thing was bound to happen eventually). That being said, my present self adores the frontman of the pack riding the scooter. Watch as he notices Cyclist Superman zoom past his left, and he goes “Look, ma, no-hands!” to capture a few snapshots of the moment. If he pulled out an iPhone and selfied, I might self-combust. It would be the end of content. How else would we go up from here?

Thank god he didn’t, though. If there’s one thing the world needs, it’s more content.

New Planet Discovered: Let’s Theorize Everything That’s About to Go Wrong

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As long as we’ve studied the stars, humans have searched for the possibility of life on another planet, of another Earth. That quest by astronomers has yielded some candidates, like Gliese 667Cc and Kepler-452b, the most similar exoplanet to Earth. But all of these possibilities lie so far outside our reach and so many light years away, our current space travel capabilities fall short.

A new hope has emerged, though. The Pale Red Project and European Southern Observatory recently announced the discovery of a potentially habitable planet. Its name: Proxima b. (If that name doesn’t get the juices flowing…) The planet revolves around Proxima Centauri, the closest star to the sun, and exists within the star’s Habitable Zone, which means temperatures are neither too hot nor too cold to sustain liquid water. That doesn’t mean Proxima b does have flowing water (which is necessary for life as we know it), just that it’s possible.

All of this is wonderful news. While at 4.2 light years away, scientists don’t believe Proxima b is outside our realm of future space travel. It’s a possibility at least. As astronomy professor Ignas Snellen told the Guardian says, “This is the discovery of the year and possibly of the decade.”

Now why does this search for other habitable exoplanets outside of Earth persist so? A scientist would likely reason our journey through the stars helps explain our story within the known universe — how we came to be, and also how we could come to pass. That latter is rather haunting as we all (kind of) believe we’re gonna ruin Earth, right?

Infographic by ESO/Pale Red Dot via NASA
Infographic by ESO/Pale Red Dot via NASA

It all leads to a personal, deeper fear. Say we discover that Proxima b lends itself to hospitable life conditions: flowing water, a good-enough atmosphere, some intense-looking animals. A fixer-upper will do. Send in the planet version of the Property Brothers, and it’ll be looking like that new home planet away from our home planet we always wanted!

But here’s my worry that I secretly believe others share: How are we going to fuck this up? A new planet sounds great, but the old one’s got some problems, too. This isn’t like college, where you can jump from relationship to relationship without leaving a wake of destruction and broken homes (planets) in your path. We got to make it work.

First worry: We’re space-traveling, traversing the light years, because we’re awesome and figured out speedy navigation through the stars. Perhaps the Em Drive turned into a fruitful and worthwhile discovery. So we send out a small team—comprised of, I don’t know, Matt Damon, Matthew McConaughey, Zoe Saldana, George Takei, HAL 9000, and Louis Gosset Jr.’s alien son that Dennis Quad raised—and either during the landing, or as they’re exploring the planet, they introduce an alien element or disease into the planet’s atmosphere.

Like, after testing the atmosphere, realizing the air is breathable, an astronaut gets ballsy and takes off their helmet to test it. Forgoing all scientific processes and procedures, this astronaut takes matters into their own hands (the likely candidate: Damon, obviously). But it works! They’re breathing and soon everyone’s removing their helmets, breathing and if it were a movie, maybe “Here Comes The Sun” would play, or maybe “You’ve Made Me So Very Happy.” Either works for this scene. Even HAL’s laughing, joyous, rapturous in delight.

Then someone sneezes. Or coughs. And we introduce foreign illnesses into the atmosphere and the flora and fauna do not possess the antibodies necessary to combat our Earth diseases. Half the species die out overnight and the plants wither away. The chain reaction irreparably damages the fragile atmosphere, disrupting oxygen and carbon levels, and boom, planet ruined. Ask the Native Americans how likely this can happen.

Too many What Ifs there, dude, you’re likely thinking. And I get it. Most dismiss this kind of anxious paranoia style of thought. Most humans are optimistic creatures, which is fine. But that kind of optimism led millions of people to dismiss global warming for decades, and some still rationalize it away, so…

Speaking of which, how incredibly likely is it we discover some type of valuable resource deep beneath the planet’s core? This type of fuel could open further space travel capabilities or revolutionize human life as we know it. We’ll call this the Avatar predicament, for lack of a better term. All the sudden we’re sending space drills and excavating the crust exterior of Earth 2.0. Or some cowboy hat-wearing “entrepreneur” introduces some novel concept he terms as “bracking.”

How many negative outcomes could happen? I’ll wait…(still waiting)…A million! You can’t count them. Dig too deep and hit a core we didn’t know expanded far beyond our own. Molten lava erupts, turning us into white ash Pompeii-style, and encrusts the planet with inhabitable terrain. It will take like hundred-thousands of years for the planet’s atmosphere to reset to its natural equilibrium. And by then, we’ve surely destroyed Earth and the human race become another lost story in the universe.

Then there’s the whole starting-another-civilization on another planet angle to consider. Miraculously, everything goes (mostly) according to plan, and we manage life on Proxima b. Incredible. But who leaves, who stays behind on Earth? Is it a lottery system? Or does it become a class system? Does a social media campaign begin to include certain people? Is it a Snowpiercer-style train we all climb aboard, escaping a nuclear winter, hoping those who made it either don’t cannibalize or murder or whatever one another before reaching Proxima b? What corporations sponsor the voyage? Does Proxima b turn into Proxima Wally World? What if other hominid life forms exist on this planet already? Do we attempt to co-habit, because we’re like really bad at that.

Anyways, the real news here is simple: We discovered something really, really exciting. Let’s not screw it up.

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