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Federal Marijuana Legalization Needed For Coronavirus Bailouts

Mike Adams
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Federal Marijuana Legalization Needed For Coronavirus Bailouts

The cannabis industry does not qualify for bailout money and is essentially at risk of total collapse if it cannot find a way to survive on its own.

The U.S. economy is clinging to life support in the wake of the coronavirus. Businesses all across the nation have been forced to shut down, and a record number of Americans are now living on unemployment benefits. Some financial analysts say the country hasn’t seen anything even remotely this horrifying since the Great Depression. So, to say we are living in tough, uncertain times, well, that is putting it lightly.  

But, never fear, Uncle Sam is coming to the rescue. The federal government is throwing small businesses all across the country a life preserver, of sorts, in the form of cash bailouts to help keep the lights on, employees paid and them in good enough shape to recover from the madness.  

If you own a marijuana business, however, you should know that none of the approved $350 billion is coming your way. Although more than half the nation has legalized the leaf for medicinal and recreational use, the herb is still a Schedule I dangerous drug at the federal level. This means the cannabis industry does not qualify for bailout money and is essentially at risk of total collapse if it cannot find a way to survive on its own while the country hunkers down for the next few months.  

Considering the industry was already suffering from some relatively troubled times before the virus struck, many cannabis businesses may soon go broke and evaporate from the scene altogether.

RELATED: Why States Need To ‘Flick The Legal Switch’ On Cannabis Amid COVID-19

It is for this reason that a gang of U.S. Senators fired off a letter to the Small Business Administration (SBA) last week, asking that legal cannabis operations be considered for economic assistance. While the SBA has acknowledged that hemp operations would, in fact, qualify for loans and other financial reprieves, its policy does not allow the doling out of funds for any service “directly” or “indirectly” associated with a business entity that grows or sell marijuana.   

And that could tank some smaller operations. 

Here's Why The White House Is Moving Against Cannabis Reform
Official White House Photo by Andrea Hanks

“Consequently, small businesses in states with some form of legal cannabis must choose between remaining eligible for SBA loan programs, or doing business with a rapidly-growing and legal industry,” reads the letter signed by eleven U.S. Senators, including Democratic presidential candidate Bernie Sanders.  

The Senators concluded their plea by saying they “strongly support ensuring that SBA loan programs are made available to all cannabis small businesses.” 

Too bad they are barking up the wrong tree.

RELATED: Marijuana Legalization Could Get A Boost Post Coronavirus

For the cannabis industry to be given the same loan consideration as any other legitimate business, Congress must first legalize marijuana at the federal level. There’s no other way around it. As long as marijuana hangs in its current Schedule I listing under the Controlled Substances Act, unexpected devastation, like with the coronavirus, is going to leave these operations without a safety net. Make no mistake about it, cultivation companies, dispensaries and other businesses connected to legal marijuana are very much on their own until Uncle Sam makes a change.

And that’s not happening anytime soon. 

As we pointed out in a recent article, federal lawmakers may have no choice but to take a look at legal weed once the virus debacle is over. Much like it was done with alcohol following the Depression, nationwide cannabis legalization might be needed to give the economy an added boost. It’s a long shot, of course, especially with Republican domination still running the show on the Hill.

Still, full-blown legalization is something that could gain high-powered momentum in 2021 if the Democrats come out on top following the November election. Until then, expect cannabis businesses to start dropping like flies in the months to come. While many have been deemed “essential” in their respective neck of the woods, the financial climate (high unemployment rate, etc.) could start to affect the bottom line — making a post-virus recovery next to impossible.

Marijuana Could Impair Female Fertility, According To New Study

Brendan Bures
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0
Marijuana Could Impair Female Fertility, According To New Study

New research suggests increases in THC levels are linked with decreases in embryo health and fertilization capability.

Understanding the role marijuana plays in conception and pregnancy isn’t as clear and documented as you’d hope. Relying on scientific research to tell the story often leads to conflicting reports. For example, a 2018 study found habitual cannabis use lowers and alters sperm in men; a 2019 study contradicted those claims, reporting that former and current marijuana users had higher sperm counts than men who had never smoked cannabis.

New preliminary research released by The Endocrine Society adds to this growing body of research. Using animals, scientists discovered that when female eggs were exposed to THC — the psychoactive cannabinoid in marijuana — it inhibited pregnancy and the production of viable embryos. The higher the THC levels, the more it impaired the female eggs, researchers reported.

RELATED: New Study Finds Medical Marijuana Is Too Strong For Pain Relief

“Currently, patients seeking infertility treatments are advised against cannabis use, but the scientific evidence backing this statement is weak,” study author Megan Misner said in a statement. “This makes it difficult for physicians to properly advise patients undergoing in vitro fertilization.”

cannamamas support smoking cannabis while pregnant
Photo by StockSnap via Pixabay

To understand this relationship, cow oocytes (female eggs) received different THC concentrations on level with therapeutic and recreational doses. Researchers then recorded data of the oocytes at critical points in embryonic developments, analyzing how the THC affected maturation. Increases in THC levels resulted in lower quality embryos and lower fertilization capability.

RELATED: Study Confirms CBD Could Protect Brain Against Neurodegenerative Diseases

This isn’t the first study to suggest women undergoing fertility treatment should lay off marijuana. Women who used marijuana while receiving treatment with assisted-reproduction technology (ART) were twice as likely to lose a pregnancy as those who didn’t use cannabis. Another study published earlier this year found women who smoked marijuana while pregnant negatively slowed infant growth and development.

However, a study conducted by Boston University researchers surveyed more than 4,000 women who were trying to conceive. Participants stated they were both in stable relationships and not using fertility treatment. According to the results, marijuana use had little to no impact on a couple’s chances of getting pregnant. This was true for both women and men, as male partners were also asked about their cannabis use and over 1,000 men participated.

Restricting Calories? You Could Be Aging Slower

Kate-Madonna Hindes
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0
Restricting Calories? You Could Be Aging Slower

In a new study, researchers increased immune cells during aging, and calorie restriction favorably reversed the aging-disturbed immune ecosystem.

Is there a reason that mice who eat less age slower? Thanks to a recent study, scientists believe that the amount of food eaten could be directly tied to elongating human life. 

The most detailed work on aging and food done to date, researchers at the Salk Institute studied the effects of a calorie-restricted diet in rodents showcasing that cellular pathways (or cell changes) seem to slow on certain diets. The February 2020 study, published in the peer-review journal Cell, found that immune cells were increased during aging (including inflammation.)

Ever since past studies have shown that fasting can elevate the body’s metabolism, scientists at Salk’s Gene Expression Laboratory have tried to illuminate the close ties between food and aging. Their research showed an interesting correlation between calorie restriction in mice and a slower aging process: calorie-restriction reversed aging within the cells.

Using computer modeling and artificial intelligence, the research team was able to forecast specific patterns that occurred in the cells of mice that initiated or decreased aging. The study found: 

“Computational prediction revealed that the abnormal cell-cell communication patterns observed during aging, including the excessive proinflammatory ligand-receptor interplay, were reversed by CR. Our work provides multi-tissue single-cell transcriptional landscapes associated with aging and CR in a mammal, enhances our understanding of the robustness of CR as a geroprotective intervention, and uncovers how metabolic intervention can act upon the immune system to modify the process of aging.”

RELATED: Can CBD Help With Anti-Aging? Here’s What You Need To Know

4 healthy tips before starting a juice cleanse this spring
Photo by Jose Soriano via Unsplash

In short-hand: Immune cells were increased during aging, and CR favorably reversed the aging-disturbed immune ecosystem.

Highlights of the report include: 

  • The alleviation of age-related cells that encourage inflammation within the body’s tissue
  • A decrease in the cell’s aging process
  • Better genetic mapping and understanding how the cells react to calorie restriction

In speaking to ScienceDaily, Juan Carlos Izpisua Belmonte, a senior author of the study  shared, “We already knew that calorie restriction increases life span, but now we’ve shown all the changes that occur at a single-cell level. This gives us targets that we may eventually be able to act on with drugs to treat aging in humans.” 

RELATED: Neuroscientist Claims ‘Vitamin Weed’ Slows Aging Process

Focused on utilizing the information to offer better health information and encourage new strategies to increase life span, the team is now looking to replicate the study in other animals. 

Edibles Are Better Than Smoking Marijuana

Maria Loreto
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0
Edibles Are Better Than Smoking Marijuana

The coronavirus should make us all think twice before smoking, whether it’s tobacco or weed. Luckily for everyone, edibles can be easily purchased or made at home.

COVID-19 is a respiratory illness, one that’s transmitted when in close contact with infected people. Now that most of us are spending our time in self-quarantine, how can we protect ourselves aside from constant and annoying hand-washing? You may also consider edibles are a better than smoking marijuana right now.

One thing most experts agree on is that smoking is not a good idea at the moment, even if what you’re smoking is marijuana. The better your lungs are, the more likely it is for you to prevent complications should you come in contact with COVID-19. This also applies to people who vape.

If you vape, “you’re going to make lungs more vulnerable to severe infection,” according to Dr. Panagis Galiatsatos via WebMD.

RELATED: Why States Need To ‘Flick The Legal Switch’ On Cannabis Amid COVID-19

Data gathered from COVID-19 patients in China found that infected people who were smokers or who lived in areas with high pollution were more likely to experience severe symptoms when compared to others with healthy lungs. This risk of smoking or vaping is made worse when people are over the age of 60 or when they have an underlying condition, such as asthma or another respiratory illnesses.

Due To Coronavirus, Edibles Are A Better Option Than Smoking Marijuana
Photo by Katerina Smirnova via Unsplash

Still, despite the bad news, there’s no need to panic. We live in a time where there are a variety of cannabis products at our disposal, ranging from edibles to tinctures to dermal patches.

Not only are these alternatives to smoking easy to obtain, they’re safer to share.

“As long as cultures have consumed cannabis, the practice of sharing a joint among friends has been a common social practice,” NORML executive director Erik Altieri wrote in a blog post. “But given what we know about COVID-19 and its transmission, it would be mindful during this time to halt this behavior.”

RELATED: Here’s A Breakdown Of Who Supports Cannabis As ‘Essential’ During Pandemic

Dispensaries in large cities or states where there’s legal cannabis should be stocked up on a variety of items that don’t have to be smoked. Even if you have a large stash of flower at home that you panic-purchased, you can try cooking or baking something delicious with it, while passing the hours and taking care of your body.

FDA Declares Cannabis Drug Epidiolex No Longer A Controlled Substance

Debra Borchardt
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0
FDA Declares Cannabis Drug Epidiolex No Longer A Controlled Substance

It is the first prescription pharmaceutical formulation of highly purified, plant-derived cannabidiol (CBD), and the first in a new category of anti-epileptic drugs.

The U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) confirmed that the GW Pharmaceuticals plc (Nasdaq: GWPH) cannabidiol drug Epidiolex is no longer subject to the Controlled Substances Act (CSA). The DEA’s letter means that all federal controlled-substance restrictions have been removed for Epidiolex. This change takes effect immediately.

The stock was rising over 3% to lately trade at $85.06 on the news. This further lifts the stock from its 52-week low of $67.98.

“This notification from DEA fully establishes that Epidiolex, the only CBD medicine approved by FDA, is no longer a controlled substance under the federal Controlled Substances Act,” said Justin Gover, GW’s Chief Executive Officer. “We would like to thank DEA for confirming the non-controlled status of this medicine. Importantly, the descheduling of EPIDIOLEX has the potential to further ease patient access to this important therapy for patients living with Lennox-Gastaut Syndrome and Dravet syndrome, two of the most debilitating forms of epilepsy.”

RELATED: DEA Reschedules Marijuana Drug Epidiolex

In 2018, the FDA approved Epidiolex for the treatment of seizures associated with Lennox-Gastaut Syndrome (LGS) or Dravet syndrome in patients two years of age or older. It is the first prescription pharmaceutical formulation of highly purified, plant-derived cannabidiol (CBD), and the first in a new category of anti-epileptic drugs. At the time, the approval was groundbreaking as the DEA has classified cannabis as a schedule 1 drug meaning there was medicinal purpose for the substance. By approving the drug as a medicine, it turned this argument upside down. Today’s news further refutes the claim that cannabis should remain a schedule 1 drug.

epilepsy and cannabis
Photo by sudok1/Getty Images

Following FDA approval, Epidiolex was initially placed in Schedule V of the CSA. Following receipt of this DEA notification, GW has filed a post-approval supplement with FDA to remove Schedule V designation from Epidiolex.

The company said in a statement that once this process is completed in each state, prescriptions for Epidiolex, like other non-controlled medicines, will be valid for one year and can be easily transferred between pharmacies. The descheduling of Epidiolex also enables physicians to prescribe this breakthrough medicine free of the requirements of state prescription drug monitoring programs.

The medicine is marketed in the United States by Greenwich Biosciences, the U.S. subsidiary of GW Pharmaceuticals plc. The company said it will now begin the process of implementing these changes at the state level and through the EPIDIOLEX distribution network.

This article originally appeared on Green Market Report.

Aches And Pains At Home? Here’s What (And What Not) To Do

Kate-Madonna Hindes
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Aches And Pains At Home? Here’s What (And What Not) To Do

It’s bad enough we’re all stuck at home, but for those struggling with pain, it’s a scenario that is even more frustrating and scary. Here’s what (and what not) to do if you need relief.

From the sudden onset of a migraine to working from home when working just plain hurts, individuals around the globe are looking at ways to eliminate aches and pains with medical doctors tied up in the fight against coronavirus.

Those struggling with a searing sensation of pain or a dull ache may turn to non-traditional remedies to get relief, but the problem is that often those fixes don’t help at all. When looking at alleviating aches and pains, here are three things not to do and three to consider:

DON’T take new medication without speaking to your healthcare provider. NPR shared that in communicating with your care team (even over email or phone), words matter when discussing pain. The numeric pain scale (of 1 to 10) often can be interpreted differently from person to person. It’s recommended you share how the pain is affecting your life and what you’ve already tried.

DO consider stretching, and alleviating pain. AskDrJo recommends spending 15 to 30 minutes each day in stretching and giving your body a breakthrough exercises proven to reduce tension. The National Institute on Aging says that exercise may actually help lessen symptoms to do with body pain. 

RELATED: A Pain Management Doctor Shares How Marijuana Is Impacting His Patients

Exercise is an effective way to lower your risk for some pain. For example, research has shown that exercise combined with education can reduce risk of lower back pain. The study looked at exercises like strength training activities targeting the back and abdominal muscles, stretching and spine range of motion exercises, and aerobic conditioning.

thyroid related headaches and cbd a new solution to an old problem
Photo by JGI/Jamie Grill/Getty Images

DON’T think that taking more pain medicine will help. Adhering to the prescribed amounts or the recommended doses on your bottles of Tylenol or Ibuprofen is always the best move. If you’re finding pain is especially intense, call your doctor and explain what’s going on. Your health care team may recommend you switch from one type of pain reliever to another or take another action. But taking matters into your own hands by taking more frequent or higher doses can lead to liver issues or even death.

DO consider looking into CBD and marijuana (depending on your state of residence). Dozens of studies have already confirmed that CBD and marijuana can help with pain in many cases. Depending on whether or not CBD, medical or recreational marijuana are legal, it may be a relief to know other options exist. You can find an updated list of state laws on the NORML website.

RELATED: How CBD Helps With Chronic Pain

DON’T use non-pain items to cope with pain. From alcohol to sleep medicines, many are turning to a creative approach to escape the frustrating side effects constant pain can bring. The problem is that it often leads to other issues, such as anxiety or sleep issues. If you are drinking or looking to numb your pain, experts agree it’s time to call for help.

DO put your future and health first. The National Institute on Aging suggests looking into support groups and putting your health first by sleeping well and avoiding weight gain. If pain is excruciating and you’re feeling at a loss, consider calling the U.S. Pain Foundation’s Support Line at 800-273-8255. 

Here Is What To Expect When You First Smoke Weed

Brendan Bures
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0
Here Is What To Expect When You First Smoke Weed

New or occasional users were more likely to experience adverse reactions from smoking weed than frequent users, a new study finds.

If you’ve never smoked marijuana before, you probably wonder how it will make you feel. Introduced by a frequent users, you’ll be reassured of all the good vibrations and relaxed mind state waiting for you just around the corner. But what if you have a bad experience? What type of negative reactions should I expect, in case it all goes the opposite way? Here is what to expect when you first smoke weed.

A new study provides some answers. In fact, researchers documented 26 adverse reactions caused by marijuana consumption. Paranoia, anxiety, and coughing fits rated as the most common of these negative effects. Those who were new to marijuana, or only used cannabis occasionally, were more likely to have adverse response than frequent smokers.

“There’s been surprisingly little research on the prevalence or frequency of various adverse reactions to cannabis and almost no research trying to predict who is more likely to experience these types of adverse reactions,” study author Carrie Cuttler said in a statement.

RELATED: Why Are Cannabis Users Skinnier Than Non-Users?

The impetus of the study, published in the Journal of Cannabis Research, came from the recent advent of adult-use marijuana legalization in 11 states. Researchers surveyed more than 1,500 college students for the study, collecting their adverse reactions to marijuana and the frequency of those reactions, as well as information like personality traits, how often they used marijuana, and why they smoked cannabis.

the potential of cbd and cannabis within the anxiety and autism community
Photo by Fernando @dearferdo via Unsplash

More than 50% of the participants said they had paranoia, anxiety, and coughing fits from smoking marijuana. Some other frequent negative responses included discomfort in the chest or lungs and body humming, experienced by approximately 30-40% of the group. Hallucinations, cold sweats, and fainting were the least common of symptoms caused by marijuana. Those in the study ranked passing out, vomiting, and panic attacks the most distressing of possible reactions.

“It is worth noting even the most distressing reactions to cannabis were only rated between moderately’ and quite distressing,” Cuttler said. “This suggests cannabis users do not, in general, find acute adverse reactions to cannabis to be severely distressing.”

RELATED: What Is The Safest Way To Consume Cannabis?

Overall, researchers found those who used marijuana less were more likely to report having adverse reactions. This was especially true for those who felt peer pressure to use marijuana or had anxiety sensitivity—that is, a tendency to imagine the worst possible outcomes.

“Interestingly, we didn’t find that quantity of use during a single session predicted very much in terms of whether or not a person was going to have a bad reaction,” Cuttler said. “It was the people who smoke on a less frequent basis who tend to have these bad experiences more often.”

Teenage Marijuana Use Could Cause Adult Insomnia

Brendan Bures
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Teenage Marijuana Use Could Cause Adult Insomnia

A third of people who smoked marijuana as a teenager later developed insomnia as adults, according to a new study.

About one in three Americans don’t get enough sleep, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Problems like insomnia or sleep apnea can arise for multiple reasons, including stress, PTSD, and chronic pain, limiting your ability to achieve a good night’s rest. Many have turned to marijuana as an effective sleep aid, thanks to the plant’s ability to reduce inflammation and restore a person’s natural sleep cycle.

But a new study, published in the journal Sleep, suggests the root of insomnia can begin by smoking copious amounts of marijuana as a teenager. University of Colorado Boulder researchers analyzed data from more than 1,800 twins, as recorded by the Colorado Twin Registry. The organization has been tracking these sets of twins since 1968, but the study’s authors focused on data related to sleep, marijuana use, and mental health.

According to the study, about a third of the subjects who started smoking weed before the age of 18 had developed insomnia in adulthood. Less than 20% of those who didn’t use cannabis as teens had similar sleep issues.

RELATED: Here’s What Can Happen If You Give Marijuana To Minors

“People tend to think that cannabis helps with sleep, but if you look closely at the studies, continued or excessive use is also associated with a lot of sleep deficits,” said Evan Winiger, the study’s lead author and CU graduate student.

Teenage marijuana users had double the risk of acquiring “short sleep” as adults. A hazardous variation of insomnia, “short sleep” constitutes getting less than six hours of sleep per night on a regular basis. Almost 10% of teenage marijuana users were victims of “short sleep” while only 5% of non-users had this issue.

Teen Marijuana Use Could Cause Adult Insomnia, Researchers FindTeen Marijuana Use Could Cause Adult Insomnia, Researchers Find
Photo by Annie Spratt via Unsplash

Though the study did find a link between early cannabis use and adult sleeping issues, the authors didn’t pinpoint an underlying cause as to why. Smoking marijuana as a teenager is associated with negative long-term changes to brain structure, having mental health disorders like depression and anxiety later in life, as well as breathing problems.

Winiger pointed to alterations in the brain’s gray matter as possible explanation to the connection. But he also suggested the body’s endocannabinoid system could also be modified from the influx of marijuana at a young age.

“One theory is that these receptors are being desensitized or disturbed from all the cannabis use at a time that the brain is still developing, and that leads to waking issues later,” he said.

RELATED: Study Links Teen Marijuana Use With Adult Depression

But the study’s authors added this doesn’t mean all marijuana is bad for all people looking to fall asleep. Instead, the research indicates another sign of how using cannabis at a young age could negatively impact adults later in life.

“We would not recommend that teenagers utilize marijuana to promote their sleep,” said study co-author Ken Wright, director of CU’s Sleep and Chronobiology lab. “Anytime you are dealing with a developing brain you need to be cautious.”

5 Creative Date Ideas

Maria Loreto
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5 Creative Date Ideas

Due to the pandemic, most of us are spending time in isolation. Here are some date ideas for this weird time in our lives.

The coronavirus pandemic has affected most aspects in our lives, dealing a particularly tough blow to sex and our dating lives in general. Now that we’re all social distancing, it takes a lot of creativity to come up with new ways to have a romantic time with someone. To help, here are 5 creative date ideas.

It is all about time and talk, so your key is something to spur getting to know the other person. While you can never go wrong with some Netflix, after a couple of weeks spent indoors, you’ll get bored of this sooner than you think.

Watch or listen to something scary together

For some reason people love to get scared together, whether that’s watching a scary movie in a packed theater or gathering around with friends and listening to scary stories. Since you can’t do any of those things, you can watch scary movies or listen to creepy podcasts with your significant other. This activity can be done in person, if you’re quarantining with someone, or separately, with the app Netflix Party, which allows you to watch the same content simultaneously. If you’re more into podcasts you can try Skyping or Zooming while listening to the narration on speaker.

Home workouts

how your monthly cycle affects your workouts
Photo by McKinsey via rawpixel.com

RELATED: How The Coronavirus Pandemic Is Affecting Our Sex Lives

Everyone’s talking about the importance of staying active during these stressful times. One way to make this easier to commit to is to plan workouts with someone, keeping you accountable. Use this time to find interesting workouts and for trying out new things, such as Ryan Heffington’s famous Live Instagram dance classes or routines uploaded by popular gyms.

Board games & video games

Nowadays plenty of board games can be played online. You can try downloading Words with Friends or Scrabble and waste your time away, or purchase something trendy like Animal Crossing. If you and your partner are self-quarantining together, there’s plenty of board games for two that you could try.

Prepare drinks

Are CBD Drinks Legal?
Photo by Annie Spratt via Unsplash

RELATED: Sex Clubs Are Now Hosting Digital Orgies Because Of Coronavirus

If you’ve always wanted to learn how to make fancy cocktails and delicious drinks, now’s the time. There’s plenty of recipes you can find online that are detailed and not that complex. Your first attempts might not be as good as the drinks prepared in your local bar, but if you keep trying, by the time your self-isolation is through you’ll be a master bartender.

Sexting

After you’ve tried all other activities with your significant other while under self-quarantine, you can always return to a classic: sexting. Use this time apart to work on your skills and try out new things that can bring you guys together virtually.

Hopefully 5 creative date ideas are helpful and bear fruit for you.

3 Weird Vibes Marijuana Paranoia Might Have You Feeling During Virus Lockdown

Mike Adams
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0
3 Weird Vibes Marijuana Paranoia Might Have You Feeling During Virus Lockdown

People have been experiencing varying levels of weed paranoia (presumably) since it was first discovered millions of years ago.

A lot of people use marijuana to relax after a long day of, well, riding the couch — we are, after all, penning this column from the eye of the Coronapocalypse — but there is simply no denying that weed can sometimes make us as paranoid as all get out. It has been known to cause users to flip their script on more than one occasion.

Some pros have theorized that the anxiety that stems from cannabis is because it is just too strong these days. But, the truth is, people have been experiencing varying levels of weed paranoia (presumably) since it was first discovered. We imagine that 28 million years ago, somewhere in the Qinghai Lake region of the Tibetan Plateau, where cannabis is said to have originated, there was a young man, perhaps the first to ever get high off the stuff, begging someone for help because he was deathly afraid of swallowing his tongue. Hey, it happens to the best of us.

In the spirit of stoned solidarity, we have assembled a list of three weird things paranoia might try to convince you of during this virus lockdown.

The Tightness In Your Chest Is ‘The Rona’

Although most cannabis-induced paranoia is mild, there are times when it can get pretty intense. This nerve-shattering affliction could strike, let’s say after you consume a pot edible purchased off the Internet from some hippy Brazilian baker, only to see later that it contained a whopping 2,500mg of THC. Wait, is that even possible? For you newbies out there: Yes, that’s a lot to eat at one time. The recommended dosage for the average person is somewhere between 5 to 10 mg.  

But it’s too late now. 

It might take an hour or so, but the paranoia from eating more weed than any weed eater in weed eating history is going to come, and come on strong. It’ll probably start with a tightness in the chest and the inability to breathe properly. Considering the climate of the times, this may even convince you that you have contracted the coronavirus and are in desperate need of a plastic bag to keep you from hyperventilating to death.

RELATED: How CBD Blocks The Paranoia And Anxiety From Marijuana’s THC

After obsessing over the CDC’s website and perhaps even referencing the “symptom checker” on WebMD, you realize that the bag is totally worthless and that a brand, spanking new, 2020 life support system is your only chance of surviving the night. But rest easy, friend, that’s just the weed playing tricks on you. It’s the paranoia climbing all the way up your back and sinking its gnarly fangs into your brain. You’re not going to die, and you probably do not have the Rona. But expect to be high for several days. 

Oh, and if you still show symptoms of the virus after the buzz subsides, you might want to get checked out by a doctor. 

Can Cannabis Be Used To Manage Anxiety?
Photo by rawpixel.com

Smoke Detector Is Really A Camera Planted By The Government

While sitting there on the couch trying to find the zipper on your skin so you can escape your body for a while, at least long enough to avoid the worst of the terror that is to come, you might start to see things around the house that you’ve never noticed before. There’s the framed Pink Floyd poster on the wall that’s just a little bit crooked. Oh, and what’s that? A crack in the ceiling that you cannot remember whether it was there yesterday or not. But it isn’t until you see the flashing red light in the smoke detector that those nerves start to rattle.

This is the point where the paranoia might really begin to do a number on you. It is not beyond the scope of imagination that the buzz from that mega-dose of THC could convince you that the device is not actually there for your safety. It might have you believe, instead, that it is a surveillance camera planted by the federal government, giving them the means to keep tabs on all your indiscretions. 

RELATED: Marijuana Makes You Paranoid? Study Suggests Your Genes Are To Blame

All sorts of twisted conspiracies might start churning through your head, and you’ll have questions, loads of them. Like, why me? What do they want? Who planted it there? How did they get in? Did they think the bathroom was messy? You might even go really nuts and grab the broom from the kitchen closet and start knocking every single one of those suckers down for further inspection. But that’s not necessary. Listen, the government has no interest in watching you hang around your apartment all day, getting high and eating potato chips. Let’s hope they have better things to do. But then again, there was all that stuff a few years ago with Edward Snowden. 

The Pest Control Truck Is Really a SWAT Team

At the height of your paranoia, well, there’s no nice way of putting this: You’re probably going to come unhinged. But you won’t dare call 911 for medical assistance because that’s precisely what “they” want you to do. Still, it can be difficult at this juncture of a savage high to escape the gnawing feeling in your gut that you’re being watched, investigated, and are perhaps even wanted for crimes ranging from petty pot possession to drug trafficking. You can feel your heart pounding out of your chest like you’ve just run a marathon. It’s mostly nerves, but the rest is all weed.  

That’s when you stand up from the couch to see what’s happening in the world from the living room window. Hopefully, you’ll catch a glimpse of a cute kitten or something to help calm you down. But there’s no kitty-kitty outside. Only a large, black SUV branded with the name of a leading pest control company. That’s funny, you weren’t expecting anyone, especially not the bug man. It’s then that you start to consider the possibility that it’s just a front for an undercover sting operation, and they’re about to send in a SWAT team to take you down. In reality, though, the pest company is likely real and was probably just there to service a neighbor. 

Try to relax, dude.

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