Sometimes, our fellow humans do things that the rest of us can’t understand. Like stealing placenta from a freezer that’s not yours, or shaving cats’ bellies without the owner’s consent. Or swiping a kindly old grandmother’s lawn gnomes from her garden.
That’s what happened to Martha Horne, who discovered that three of her gnomes—of which she has collected over a dozen—had disappeared after a particularly stormy night. She told CBC:
“I thought, Oh God where are my gnomes? I looked a couple of times. I thought, am I not seeing right? But there was just one gnome left. I was very upset.”
She says the gnomes, each weighing nearly 10 pounds, were gifts from her grandchildren. Even worse, she’d spent time lovingly repainting them all, and now some heartless thief had made off with them in the night. They’re described as having “funny faces, like old timers’ faces.”
Horne called the cops, as any reasonable victim of a gnome-theft might, and the police drove around her neighborhood looking for anyone bold enough to put the stolen gnomes in their own front lawns. No luck.
“I got them as gifts from my grandchildren so I really treasured them,” she said. “They were very special to me. In my own mind, in my own heart, I hope I can get them back.”
For as much hype and anticipation precipitated Game 1 of the NBA Finals, the basketball contest itself quickly slipped into snoozefest territory. Golden State thumped Cleveland 113-91, demonstrably affirming the Warriors’ elite status in the sport.
No matter what stats nerds will argue, execution and efficiency ratings aren’t that thrilling. Millions didn’t tune in to watch whatever everyone predicted would happen. We follow sports because truly anything can happen.
RiRi, a noted LeBron James fan, first reminded us how no matter the stage, she will always play by her own rules. Nine minutes into the game starting, she strolled to her courtside seats, throwing commentator Jeff Van Gundy into a hot mess. This was as LeBron slammed down an entirely disrespectful dunk on Warriors center Javale McGee, welcoming him to the Finals stage.
The real joy began when Rihanna openly trolled Durant throughout the game. She yelled “BRICK!” as he attempted free throws. Even as the Cavs trailed by 22 points in the fourth quarter, Rihanna rose to pay her respects to LeBron by bowing. When agitated Golden State fans heckled her, Rih dabbed in their faces.
Rihanna doesn’t care about the score of the game because to her, life is a game, and have you checked the scoreboard?
You can imagine this pissed off Durant. This is a player who waited years for his return to the NBA Finals, willing to sign away his soul to those Silicon Valley nerds, and silenced his critics with a stupendous performance.
But he couldn’t silence Rihanna. Because she isn’t a critic. She is a queen, who does whatever the fuck she wants. Trust me, I’ve seen the “Bitch Better Have My Money” music video.
The above caption to that video is 100 percent false. KD cares. He really, really cares. You don’t stare down anyone after knocking down a three unless you care about that person. Throughout the night Durant kept catching eyes with Rihanna, though he refused to acknowledge her after the game.
Smooth move, Durant. He’s probably seen the “BBHMM” video, too. That would explain why he won’t come sideways at Rihanna.
In case you wondered, Rihanna didn’t flinch over Golden State and Durant’s dominance against LeBron and the Cavs. As she exited the arena, her trash-talking never stopped. Whatever Golden State fan shouted Rihanna’s way earned this response: “It doesn’t matter bitch, the king is still the king.”
Now is a good time to remind everyone to always delete their tweets. Because you don’t want to leave evidence like this for the internet to roast you with.
That girl @rihanna RT @AyeDerBaba94: @KDTrey5 So my question is… If you could marry any girl who would it be?? RT
Kim Kardashian’s best friend forever, Jonathan Cheban, had his eyes on another reality star to make him famous before he hit the jackpot with Kim.
“One of the most vacuous experiences I have ever had was filmed for Real Housewives of New York in Bridgehampton,” ex-Housewives star Simon van Kempen tells Straight Shuter. “Only four people were present at this dinner: cast members Alex, Kelly Killoren Bensimon, Jonathan and me. I know Housewives wasn’t meant to be deep but the superficiality of my dinner companions knew no bounds and we weren’t surprised that the footage never made it to air. Alex and I were in disbelief at the entire emptiness of the experience. This happened just before Cheban ‘struck gold’ and moved on from trying to grab onto Kelly’s coattails and reached over for Kim’s.”
“Kelly and her husband are the producers of Logo’s TV’s reality show set on Fire Island. It follows around a bunch of young, bitchy gay men as they are looking for love. But the ratings have been a disaster and now Kelly needs help,” sources tell Straight Shuter. “Her gay BFF, Andy Cohen, is the genius behind the Real Housewives franchise on Bravo, and he can fix even the worst shows. The problem is that there is no one to root for on Kelly’s show. They are all coming across as people you wouldn’t want to be friends with.”
One thing America’s still the best at: Smoking the most weed than anyone in the rest of the world.
According to the Global Drug Survey 2017, the U.S. is leading the worldwide pack on pot usage, with one third reporting using marijuana at least 300 days of the past year—compared to the global average of 19 percent.
More marijuana greatness out of Americans: We’re less likely to go to the hospital after ingesting too much and the least likely to mix marijuana with tobacco. We are, however, more likely to be high for 12 hours a day, and take a hit as soon as we wake up.
Even with this heavy use, Americans don’t feel as strong of a need to cut down on our smoke sessions as the rest of the world. As reported by Inc.com:
While 36 percent of cannabis users worldwide say they would like to cut down or quit, only 22 percent of Americans want to do so. “You would expect that given the very high rates of heavy use in our study, that as a population US cannabis users might be more likely to want to cut down,” writes DGS founder Adam R. Winstock, MD. In fact, he finds Americans’ lack of concern over our cannabis use to be so perplexing that he asks readers for their thoughts on why more of us aren’t trying to quit.
Winstock goes on to note that one reason could be the prevalence of retail stores and products with accurate dosing information, so that marijuana is no different than alcohol. Medical marijuana patients could also help curve the results, as prescribed marijuana users wouldn’t feel a need to scale back their dosage if it’s helping them treat or heal.
There’s a case to be made for keeping store bought puff pastry on hand. And this Cannabis Asparagus Tart is one of them. Frozen store-bought puff pastry however, from the cheap to the most elegant of versions, is a reliable staple if you like to make people smile with your food and you don’t want to be married to the kitchen all night.
Take any seasonal vegetable and flavor staples shallot and garlic and you have a perfect base for peppery and sharp cannabis infused olive oil. Mine goes to the outer limits with local quail eggs and nutty pecorino but you can substitute whatever cheese you have around. Here even vegan cheeses work great, strong green vegetables and all those aglio flavors will melt into any fatty spread, so grab that cashew ricotta if you’re not feeling the dairy.
Right now asparagus is cheap and plentiful around these parts, and it cooks up pretty quick in the oven. This is crucial because when you’re entertaining or in a rush, hovering over the stovetop wastes time, versus set increments in the oven with your eyes and hands occupied elsewhere. If you’re not crazy about the spears, you can use pretty much any other green vegetable, even squashes and potatoes would be ok.
Cannabis Asparagus Tart
Danielle Guercio, 2017 Makes 6 servings 7mg Per serving
Photos by Danielle Guercio
1 sheet frozen puff pastry
1 lb asparagus
½ c shaved pecorino cheese
1 head garlic
2 shallots
1 Tbs cannabis infused olive oil
2 Tbs regular olive oil
6-8 quail eggs or 4 chicken eggs
Salt and pepper to taste
Photos by Danielle Guercio
Remove pastry from the freezer to thaw at least an hour before you want to make the dish. Sometimes I put in the fridge the night before so that it’s ready to go the next day.
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line a baking sheet with a silicone mat or parchment paper. Roll the pastry out to the full size of the sheet and return to the freezer.
Photos by Danielle Guercio
Prepare the asparagus for a little pre-bake. Remove the last 2 inches or so off the bottom where there is any toughness. Arrange in a cast iron skillet or baking dish. Chop shallot and garlic finely and arrange on the top of the asparagus. Drizzle both with the non infused olive oil and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Bake for 20 minutes at 350 degrees.
Photos by Danielle Guercio
Once the asparagus is cooked a bit, you can prepare the final tart. Take the sheet out of the freezer and arrange the asparagus in a single layer down the middle pastry. Tuck or fold the edges around the vegetables so that it makes a small lip. Sprinkle generously with the infused olive oil and then the pecorino.
Photos by Danielle Guercio
Crack the eggs around the tart with space in between for cutting. Shake a little extra salt over the eggs, but not too much. Bake for 10 minutes at 350, the crust will puff up, the eggs will set, and the cheese will melt, it will be perfect! Allow to cool for a minute or two before cutting so the pastry has a chance to get rigid.
Photos by Danielle Guercio
*Cannabis Infused Olive Oil
If you are in need of a reliable weeknight dinner that allows you to put your attentions elsewhere, this is your jam. Just a small drizzle of olive oil adds terpenous zing to the rich asparagus and everything is draped in garlic and cheese, what could be more delicious?
Having tiny eggs adds interest and changes things up a bit, and they taste pretty similar to chicken eggs, so you can use whatever is easier. Cut into wedges or ever irregular hunks, this will be a hit and you will want to make it again and again.
As the screen lit up at the premiere of Wonder Woman at the Pantages Theatre in Hollywood last month, a woman in the audience cried out, “I’ve been waiting for this my whole life!” to laughter and applause. Trina Robbins, the first female artist to draw a Wonder Woman series, was inside the venerable venue. “I thought, you know what? Me, too,” Robbins said. “And, I think, most of the women here, and many of the guys, too.” The legendary comics pioneer, whose 1986 four-part “Legend of Wonder Woman,” co-authored with Kurt Busiek, said of star Gal Gadot’s performance, “She’s perfect. Just perfect.”
It was Robbins who brought the female force for good back to her origins, as first envisioned by Wonder Woman creator William Moulton Marston. “When DC [Comics] asked me, ‘How would you like to do a series of four Wonder Woman comics?’ I said, ‘Well, I’d like to set them in the Golden Age,’ and they said okay.
“In the beginning, Wonder Woman had Amazon training, which showed that if you work hard and you train, you can be a wonder woman, too. But as the comic progressed, they started giving her weird powers, like they allowed her to fly, and I didn’t like that. She wasn’t that kind of superhero. Thankfully, in the movie, she doesn’t fly. Oh, she’s an amazing Amazon, all right. She can do all kinds of leaps and flips, but it’s more like in a Chinese action movie where the heroes are fabulous human beings.”
Cover Art by Trina Robbins /DC Comics
Robbins’ Wonder Woman uses only her magic lasso, weaponized cuffs, and super-strength to battle evil queens, mindless warriors, and other villains to save the little girl they threaten. The girl in the pink pinafore looks an awful lot like photos of Robbins when she was growing up in New York City, devouring comic books and science-fiction, then immersing herself in fantasy classics like JRR Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings. All the while, she drew the characters and lush worlds she imagined.
“I was the school nerd, basically,” Robbins recalls.
As soon as she graduated in the 1960s, she took her school’s Art Medal and ran to Greenwich Village, and was soon drawing for fanzines and the counter cultural East Village Other. But she also expressed her creativity through bohemian clothing she made for Donovan, David Crosby, Mama Cass, and others. She became friends with Jim Morrison and Roger McGuinn and other members of the Byrds, and yes, she is the Trina who “wears her wampum beads and fills her drawing book with line” in Joni Mitchell’s song “Ladies of the Canyon.”
Cover Art by Trina Robbins /DC Comics
But then there was a sea change in the world of comic books. “Comics had been really dull stuff for little kids for a long time,” Robbins muses. “Just kind of wooden characters. And suddenly, Marvel and DC started given characters depth — you had Spiderman with teen angst. It was revolutionary. It was really great stuff to college students and to hippies, which I was by then.”
Robbins’ early “nerd” erudition and drawing chops would lead her not only to join the underground comics movement — but to lead it, with a lot of firsts. Besides being the first female ever to draw a Wonder Woman series, Robbins produced the first all-women’s comic book, It Ain’t Me, Babe Comix, in 1970. She was the first to create a comic book featuring an openly gay character, “Sandy Comes Out,” published by Wimmen’s Comix, an anthology she co-founded and which ran for 20 years.
But she found the underground comics world “highly misogynist,” and forged a new path as arguably the preeminent historian of women cartoonists going back to the 19th century. She’s written 12 books about female comic artists and their female characters, including Nell Brinkley, who drew exquisite Art Nouveau drawings of flappers, and even made Eleanor Roosevelt look glamorous, and Rose O’Neill, who created the Kewpie doll, and Dale Messick, who conceived Brenda Starr, Girl Reporter.
Cover Art by Trina Robbins /DC Comics
Robbins, who’s lived with partner Steve Leialoha in San Francisco for 40 years, isn’t slowing down. She has transformed Sax Rohmer’s 1919 mystery Dope, filled with delicious characters like “Mrs. Sin” and various opium-smoking aristocrats, into a noir graphic novel, which will be published in September by Drew Ford’s It’s Alive! imprint at IDP Publishing. Robbins’ memoir, Last Girl Standing, will also be published in September by Fantagraphics. [Both are available for pre-order on Amazon.]
Will we hear more about the nature of her relationship with Jim Morrison? “That’s in my memoir,” Robbins says coyly. “You’ll have to read it when it comes out.”
Does “surf” make you scream? Or maybe “cha cha cha” gives you chills? If you’re using a sex toy connected to the Internet, market researchers know what gives you those delicious orgasms.
An Illinois woman filed a class action lawsuit against We-Vibe, because she never realized “that We-Connect monitors and records, in real time, how they use the device,” Courthouse News Service reports. She’s claiming violations of the Federal Wiretap Act and Illinois Eavesdropping Statute, intrusion upon seclusion, unjust enrichment, and consumer fraud, and seeking an injunction and punitive damages.
The lawsuit follows findings from two researchers who found security flaws in the device that could leave it open to hackers.
The We-Vibe FAQ page states that “data transmissions are encrypted and protected on secure servers.”
“At We-Vibe, we strive to create innovative products that have our customer’s preferences in mind,” Standard Innovation Corporation’s president Frank Ferrari told Fusion. “We-Vibe collects data on the use of its products in terms of vibration intensity and mode for market research purposes so that we can better understand what settings and levels of intensity are most enjoyed.”
We-Vibe’s line of connected vibrators are shaped like the chunky silicone fingers of a Grimace Happy Meal toy. Using a smartphone app, it can be enjoyed solo, connected to a partner’s app, or during intercourse as a vibrator built for two if you happen to be in the same place at the same time.
Photo courtesy of Standard Innovation
In a statement after the researchers’ presentation, We-Vibe addressed what is and isn’t being collected. You’re not required to give your personal information to use the vibrator, and you can always use it on airplane mode if you’re concerned about data collection. “Processor chip temperature is used to help us determine whether device processors are operating correctly. And vibration intensity data is used for the purposes of helping us better understand how—in the aggregate—our product features are utilized.”
So there isn’t a direct line from your name and face to how you and your partner like to get your long-distance jollies. But when you’re trading privacy as currency for the free use of every other connected service in your life, brands might only need a few pieces of the puzzle at a time to know how to influence your next big O.
Tesla and SpaceX chief executive Elon Musk is stepping down from several Trump administration advisory councils after the president announced on Thursday that the US will withdraw from the Paris climate agreement.
Musk, who sits on Trump’s economic advisory council as well as a manufacturing group, threatened to quit on Wednesday, amid news reports that the president would pull the US from the climate accord, which has been ratified by 147 countries.
Musk, whose electric car company Tesla’s stated mission is “to accelerate the world’s transition to sustainable energy,” is widely viewed as a clean energy luminary.
“Antonio ‘L.A.’ Reid was fired from Epic records and he is Mariah’s biggest fan. He brought her to the label in 2015 after she had a few rocky years. Last month, Reid and the label announced a joint partnership with the singer to release a new album later this year under her own Butterfly MC Records imprint. But now that he is gone, her future is uncertain,” sources tell Straight Shuter. “Mariah doesn’t sell like she once did and she isn’t cheap.”
Though this may surprise you, Friday, June 2nd will mark the domestic release of Wonder Woman’s first feature film. Yes Wonder Woman, one of the most popular comic book characters of all-time has never had her own feature film.
Wonder Woman first appeared in All Star Comics #8 in 1941 and created by William Moulton Marston and artist Harry G. Peter. Since getting her own title in 1942, Wonder Woman has been published by DC Comics continuously (apart from a short break in 1986). So we’ve got this ultra-popular character who has successfully and seamlessly crossed over into other media like cartoons and a live action television series, yet why has it taken 75ish years to receive her own movie? I don’t have the answer to that question. I just know Wonder Woman finally getting her own film is a really big freaking deal.
Marston wanted to create a new kind of hero, “one who would triumph not with fists or firepower, but with love.” He then credits his wife Elizabeth with replying “Fine, but make her a woman.” So, after receiving the go-ahead from his superiors, Wonder Woman was born. From her inception Wonder Woman was meant to be a feminist role model, breaking away from many Golden Age comics tropes found in male-led books.
Most notably was the damsel in distress motif. Being the actual hero in her stories, when Wonder Woman was bound and captured by a villain, she had to rescue herself, which contrasted with other books of the time where the hero’s motivation was often to rescue the captured woman.
Outside of comics there have been attempts to put Wonder Woman on the big and small screens since 1967. A made-for-TV movie meant to act as a pilot for a series was released on ABC in 1974. The film followed an era of Wonder Woman’s comic history when she was more of a spy than a superhero and, even though it received decent ratings, ABC passed on the pilot.
The following year another series was developed that followed the more popular and marketable superhero aspects of Wonder Woman starring Lynda Carter. This series lasted for three seasons and received respectable ratings for the first two. However, when it was cancelled in 1979, it would mark the last live action on screen appearance of Wonder Woman for 37 years until the release of Batman V Superman in 2016.
Technically, this Wonder Woman film has been in development since 1996 when Ivan Reitman was hired to write and direct it. It then spent the next 20 years being passed around by very talented writers and directors, but failed to find one that stuck.
Finally, Patty Jenkins was in a position where she could take on the job. This is notable because Patty Jenkins is not only the first woman to direct a summer tentpole superhero movie, but also the first woman to direct a superhero film with a female protagonist. Just a little trivia to fuel the fires of interest and importance for this film.
Wonder Woman’s origins and powers have changed throughout the years, but one thing has remained constant, she is a powerful feminist role model fighting for justice, mostly with her weapons of love and compassion (and the occasional neck snapping—looking at you, Maxwell Lord).
Notable runs that are absolute must-reads for Wonder Woman fans are listed below. All make for excellent jumping-on points for reading, but for those looking for something more current, try Greg Rucka’s work with Wonder Woman Rebirth. All should be available at your local comic shop and online retailers.
George Perez (Wonder Woman Vol. 2 1987-2006: #1-45)
All of us wish to make our childish fantasies become reality. Matthew Cortland is doing exactly that in crafting the world’s first “Wizarding Pub,” where the fantastical elements of your favorite works of literature—like Harry Potter, Game of Thrones, Lord of the Rings, and more—enter our world through the everyday magic of science and design. And you’ll be drinking, which if used correctly, is its own form of modern magic.
Cortland, a proprietor and former reading teacher, will launch a Kickstarter for The Cauldron, as he’s calling it, this June to raise the funds necessary to transform our Muggle drinking world as we know it. He aims to raise the hefty amount of $500,000 to launch the pub, though backers will receive various levels of rewards for their contributions.
Cortland got the idea to simulate magic with technology while designing a mobile app in a master’s course, as he told Mashable. Referencing the Weasley Clock in the Harry Potter books—a clock which tracks the location of various members of the Weasley family instead of time—he realized that so much of what we refer to as magic already exists, or could exist, in our world.
A generation of people have come of age while wishing that the magical world is real and dreaming that they can enter into it. Now as adults, we are positioned to make that dream a reality. The Cauldron will probably appeal most to adults who grew up reading about the magical world through fantasy books and movies, and who want to finally step into it with a pint of mulled mead or wizarding cocktail in hand.
Elements like candles floating via magnetism, voice- and touch-activated wands, and touch sensitive technology refilling pints of beer will fuel the magic. But if The Cauldron sounds too Harry Potter-themed in your mind, Cortland and his team doesn’t mind adjusting. Through editable Wikis and Wizarding Hackathons, they will aim to make the technology fans wants into reality.
The Cauldron is also labeling itself as the first Literary Pub and wants to become a destination for school trips and author events alike. In other words, The Cauldron won’t just be a pub; it’ll be a community.
As Cortland told Mashable, “If even a small percentage of the millions of geeks out there decide that they want this idea to happen, we will blow our goal out of the water.”
You can learn more about The Cauldron and donate early on their website here.
