“Kanye never found the happiness he was looking for by being famous. In fact, if anything, the spotlight made him unhappier. He has decided to take a break and step away for a while,” sources tell Straight Shuter. “Not going to the Met ball was a big deal for him. He loves that event and thinks of himself as a serous designer. He has just had enough and doesn’t care if he is never photographed again.”
Real Reason Kris Jenner Is Producing Scott Disick’s New Show
Kris Jenner is branching out producing a show starring Scott Disick, daughter Kourtney Kardashians, ex. And don’t expect mommy to stop anytime soon – even if that means working with old lovers and family members.
“Kris is a businesswoman and business comes first. If she can come up with an idea for Khloe’s ex, Lamar Odom, or one of Kim’s exes, she would do it. Kris would even produce a show starring her ex-husband, Bruce, who is now Caitlyn Jenner,” sources tell Straight Shuter. “Her kids don’t mind. They have lived with Kris for a long time and know who she is. Plus, they would rather have an ex back on TV in a show controlled by their mom than by someone else. This way Kris can make the money and protect them at the same time.”
They say the first step to solving a problem is writing a lengthy post on the internet minutely detailing your tiny struggles so strangers you’ll never meet can virtually pat you on the back and say, “Me too, man,” which will magically fix everything. So here it goes: I am addicted to avocado toast.
You ever feel a tingling behind the neck? A sensation that something or someone is watching you, discussing your name, plotting against you? I felt that this week and looked around, suspicious, only to remember I live alone and have no friends or enemies to speak of. “Dodged a bullet on that one, dude,” I said to myself, isolated from everyone I’ve ever loved.
Once in that positive state of mental health, I wanted to snowball that momentum further, rushing to a place full of constructive nutrients and well-informed individuals eager to give helpful advice—the internet. Scrolling through my social media feeds, I was so very happy to see all these authentic people living such amazing, unattainable lives I could never afford. It made me feel real good about myself.
Wow. Witnessing those super true words, finally seeing them on a screen, has my fingers trembling. Experts say addiction creeps up on you, swallowing you whole before you realize it’s too late, but that wasn’t my experience. Every time I spent $19 for smashed avocados on toast, I knew I was living a lie. I knew by eating avocado toast that my #goals, like owning a house, were slipping further away.
Who cared that home ownership possibly represented outdated ideals from a byzantine capitalistic empire whose very thirst for perceived success almost bankrupted this nation? (Um, yeah, I’ve seen The Big Short; I get the mortgage crisis, okay?) I didn’t wish to see the world, experience various foods and “adventures,” connect with cultures outside my own, and potentially grasp my tiny place in this complex universe. What I wanted was a damn mortgage I couldn’t pay. Loan payments and property taxes was what I dreamed of laying awake at night as a child, a picture of Our Royal Queen by my bedside.
Photo by Brendan Bures
My whole life my dad was like, son, get yourself a degree and find your passion. Tap into what makes you special and what you can offer this world. Travel if you can. And I always said, “No, Dad. Stop trying to make me live life my own way. Let me have what you had. I want a mortgage. A mortgage keeps you strong, keeps you healthy, keeps you trapped in endless monthly payments. Only through a mortgage could I find meaning in my existence.”
Parents never understand.
But because of my avocado toast addiction, every morning the cycle began anew. An insatiable craving deep in my belly demanding to be fed. It wasn’t hunger (it was kind of hunger); this was deep-rooted addiction, with ailments like pounding migraines, physical weakness, and mild insecurity I couldn’t stunt on these hoes.
What avocado toast symbolized—to me—wasn’t success or royalty. It wasn’t bourgeois hipster culture literally spoon-fed into my mouth as a means to fulfill trends and declare my wokeness. It wasn’t even about the anti-aging properties, or healthy fats, or any of that nutritional garbage.
Avocado toast just looks really tasty. I mean…
Photo by Brendan Bures
How could I deny such a beauty? I didn’t care how avocado toast made me feel, I loved how it made me look. You couldn’t understand such an addiction, unless you were a douchebag millionaire who literally builds luxury-style property that feeds into this toxic aspirational, gentrifying lifestyle where avocado toast fucking thrives and lives.
Perhaps, if you were someone like that you would understand why so many like myself are afflicted with this avocado toast addiction and might possess the bravery to speak on it. I’m so glad a random Australian millionaire did. Honestly, it’s the hardest struggle of my life.
I once tried to overcome that struggle. Like a zombie, I entered this café, mumbling my order, sliding my card as if I were in no possession of my very body, watching my dreams of a mortgage slipping away. I sat down, trying yet again to deny my addiction, to take back control.
I hovered over the toast, granting myself just a whiff.
Photo by Brendan Bures
I knew if I were to beat this demon it would require a massive confrontation, the likes of which I couldn’t fathom. Was I capable? What abilities did I have to defeat this monster? As a millennial whose every action stems from sustaining this massive ego of mine—a.k.a. the giant void inside me I can never fill—my skills were limited. I could develop my #brand, hit the perfect selfie angle and lighting, complain about my problems online, and spend money. (This is all millennials can do, right?)
My talents were restricted to the basic millennial starter kit. I couldn’t buy the deluxe packages—including, but not limited to: sweet Europe backpacking pics, athleisure digs, and a useless grad school liberal arts degree your parents paid for—because I kept spending all my funds on avocado toast. I didn’t have much, but to eradicate this addiction once and for all, I had to confront this thing head-on at the height of its powers.
So I broke the yolk.
Photo by Brendan Bures
Oh no.
Food porn at its most dangerous….
It’s so creamy, and runny, and yellow…
Please, sir, could I just peek a little closer?
Photo by Brendan Bures
Like that, it was over. I cut off one bite, just to remember how it tasted. Then I had another and another and another. Soon I was lost in the sauce. The mouthfeel overpowered every other sound appeal. My love of avocado toast knew no boundaries. This was no casual dalliance. One bite meant seven hundred more.
That day I ordered 47 pieces of avocado toast.
Afterwards, with no funds left to afford a down payment, I did as I always would and laid down with the remains of my pain. I wanted the whole café to witness my shame.
Photo by Brendan Bures
Now you know my struggles. You’re here now. And I need your help. Please assist me in defeating this avocado toast addiction crippling millennials everywhere. This avocado toast addiction is the sole reason none of us buy houses, I promise you. Someone you know is struggling against this right now. Alone we are weak and stand no chance. Together…well together we just might qualify for an FHA housing loan.
It can be hard to find a diverse selection of Latin and Caribbean foods outside of Northeast cities. Ironically that also lines up with most of the stricter marijuana policy states, so your chances of having such foods lovingly laced with another Caribbean favorite are waiting in the wings of congress.
Though many cultures and especially Caribbean cultures use the banana-esque plantain as a starch source in their meals, the Dominican Republic and Puerto Rican Mofongo is one of the most delicious ways to have the green, unripe fruit, known to some as cooking bananas. These starchy friends of our sweet snack bananas are tasty when fried, roasted, and in this case, smashed with garlic and cannabis oil.
When served with broth for soaking and a generous sprinkle of cilantro, you can understand why some people are hesitant to eat any outside their neighborhood enclaves where this food is available, affordable, and of highest quality. A sequel to tostones, which are fried and smashed pancake-like plantains, you can use leftovers or some roasted or grilled plantains to make the next step: tasty tasty mofongo.
Green Mofongo
Based on Clara Gonzalez of DominicanCooking.com’s recipe Makes 4 servings; 14mg THC per serving
Photos by Maria Penaloza
3 unripe green plantain
1 head garlic
2 shallots
4 c vegetable broth
2 Tbsp cannabis infused olive oil*
1 cube vegetable bullion
Sofrito/salsa (optional)
Salt and pepper
Oil for frying
Cilantro for garnish
In a small saucepan, add a drizzle of the cooking oil. Crush half of the garlic and one of the shallots and Heat til translucent. Pour over the broth and add one cube of bouillon to add some stronger flavor. Meat broths can be used too, but you will still have to season them with garlic, pepper, and some herbs if desired. Allow to simmer while you prepare the plantains.
Photos by Maria Penaloza
Cover the bottom of a heavy bottomed pan with oil and preheat, reserving 1tbs of cooking oil for your knife, cutting board, and hands. Rub the oil in pretty well, this allows you to handle and break down the plantains without the sticky sap getting all over everything. The easiest way to prep this hardened banana cousin is to chop off each end, make a cut down a vein, and peel off with your fingers. Chop the fruits into 1-1.5” pieces for frying, since you are eventually mashing them, they don’t need to be super thin.
Photos by Maria Penaloza
Fry the pieces for 2-3 minutes per side until lightly browned, allow to drain on paper towels. Once you are done frying, crush the remaining garlic and shallot lightly, fry quickly to soften, and put in a heatproof bowl. Add the plantains, infused oil, salt, pepper, and some sofrito if desired, and mash with a potato masher or pestle.
Add a splash of the broth if it seems too dry, but everything should maintain a chunky texture, it won’t be smooth like mashed potatoes and you don’t want it to be!
Photos by Maria Penaloza
Form into a small bowl or mug and invert on a plate to form a little tower. Then fill this bowl with broth. Garnish both with cilantro and serve with hot sauce. Traditionally this has meat, which you add in the mashing stage, and many use anything on hand, from shrimp to shredded chicken. Dip bites of the salty, garlicky yum into broth before wolfing, it’s a taste you crave once you try for the first time.
*Cannabis Infused Olive Oil
Decarboxylate 3.5g of finely ground cannabis at 225 degrees for 20 minutes in a tightly sealed, oven safe container. Put in lidded mason jar or vacuum sealed bag with cannabis and four ounces of Olive oil. Heat in water bath just under boiling for at least 1 hour. Strain and chill to use in recipes
Latinx Caribbean food and Afro Caribbean food may be a staple in my city as a hub of Caribbean immigration, but if given the chance to take root elsewhere, this would be a go-to for so many of us. Plantains are cheap even imported, and they keep for ages. Even ‘rotten’ yellow ones make breathtaking sweet plantains or a killer twist on banana bread.
Cannabis-infused gummy bears are endangered in California after the state assembly approved a bill designed to ban any “candy if it is in the shape of a person, animal, insect, fruit, or in another shape normally associated with candy.”
Assembly Bill 350 seeks to strengthen the rules around edibles included in last November’s victorious Proposition 64 ballot measure, which legalized recreational marijuana consumption and sales in the state. Prop 64 specifically “prohibits marijuana products that are designed to be appealing to children or easily confused with commercially sold candy or foods that do not contain marijuana.”
But California lawmakers hope the tighter regulation will keep children from accidentally consuming marijuana edibles.
Assemblyman Rudy Salas introduced AB350 and for him, it’s personal. “When you want to market a product toward children, unsuspecting children, and do them harm, yes i take that personally,” Salas told CBS13 in Sacramento.
In February, the Senate passed similar legislation — Senate Bill 663 —that would ban packaging that features cartoon characters or “resembling any candy, snack food, baked good, or beverage commercially sold without marijuana.”
Edibles are one of the fastest growing segments in the nascent legal cannabis industry. Because California will not officially begin its legal market until next year, sales data are sketchy. But in the state Washington, the edible market has skyrocketed 121 percent in sales in just one year, according to data from Headset Inc., a cannabis analytics firm.
In 2015, legal cannabis in the U.S. hit $5.4 billion, according to ArcView Market Research. Analysts have determined that edibles and other infused products make up at least half of the total.
For many medical patients, edible cannabis is the preferred method for ingesting the herb. While it takes longer for intoxication to occur, the sensation lasts much longer. For those battling chronic pain, PTSD and other longer-lasting ailments, edibles are much more effective than smoked marijuana.
“You’re seeing that edibles are actually 43 percent of the market share, so it’s increasingly growing every day that people are trying different form of cannabis,” Waylon Broussard, co-founder of Edibles magazine, told CBS13.
Meagan Markle is getting ready to move to London to be closer to boyfriend Prince William, and Straight Shuter caught her checking out apartments.
“Meagan has been looking in the trendy Chelsea area at small one-bedroom flats,” sources tell Straight Shuter. “She plans to spend more and more time in London and hotels are very expensive and not very private. She will not be moving into Kensington Place with Prince Harry, so renting a small flat is the best bet.”
“Like most celebrities who take up art, his work is not very good. In fact from what I hear, it is terrible,” one insider tells Straight Shuter. “It might sell because he is Brad Pitt, but let’s not pretend he is the new Michelangelo. He won’t be the first or the last celebrity that turns to art for comfort. Rosie O’Donnell has done it and so has President George W. Bush. The problem arises when they foolishly think it is worth anything. Remember that this is therapeutic but not art, and no one will get hurt!”
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No matter what you’re grilling this summer, the one food that goes with everything is vegetables. And grilled vegetables not only look like summer, they taste like summer. A perfect char is a thing of beauty, and incredibly easy to mess up. Here are 5 tips to ensure that barbecue season’s most important side dish doesn’t end up in compost bin.
1. Chop Them Evenly
This may seem like a no-brainer, but it’s a step that’s often overlooked. Cutting them up into uniform chunks will allow them to cook thoroughly.
2. Practice The Buddy System
Nothing’s sadder than seeing your organic vegetables fall through the grates. Stop it from happening by making kebobs, placing them in a foil packet to steam, or using a vegetable basket.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BUK2qdUluYY
3. Avoid Water
In your vegetables, that is. Instead of veggies with high water content, like cucumbers and celery, opt for sturdy vegetables, like corn, tubers and even Romaine.
Just like when you’re turning your sweet potatoes into chips, a dash of vinegar will heighten the flavor. After you coat your veg in olive oil, salt and pepper, add a few dashes of vinegar to turn up the taste before they hit the grill.
5. Sear Them First
To keep your veggies from burning on the grill, sear them over high heat and then promptly move them to a cooler area of the grill to continue cooking. This will prevent a charred exterior and raw interior. Even better, precook the vegetables and then sear them on the grill before serving to give them some grill marks and extra flavor.
Spaghetti Pie has just been sitting there in the back of everyone’s minds for years. Known for being a proving ground of trendy and sometimes sweeping food fads, Smorgusburg Food Fair in NYC has been stuffed with all of the most instagrammable foods for years now. Recently, Pop Pasta has come out with a trendy donut shaped serving of the traditional leftover user that is Frittata di Spaghetti aka Spaghetti doughnuts. It looks really tasty, and ripe for the weedhacking.
This is probably one of the more fun ways to use leftover pasta, since it gets boring to eat the same thing more than a few times. It’s exceedingly simple to turn strands of al dente yesterday into on the go perfection. If you don’t have a donut pan, simply make in a greased Casserole or baking dish and cut like people have been doing for decades before Instagram.
No matter what kinds of pasta you are into, throwing it in a bowl with some eggs, cheese, and garlic pretty much cements a tasty outcome. No matter how saucy or not saucy, you can supplement fewer or more eggs as needed.
Photos by Maria Penaloza
Spaghetti Doughnut
Based on Pop Pasta creation, recipe by Danielle Guercio 2017
Dosage: 4mg per donut
½ lb leftover al dente pasta
6 eggs
1/4 c cream
3 Tbsp sauce (optional)
2 Tbsp cannabis infused butter*
½ cup grated Romano cheese
5 cloves garlic
Salt and pepper
Photos by Maria Penaloza
Preheat oven to 350. Whip eggs in a bowl until frothy. Drizzle in cream, half of the cheese, gently melted butter, chopped garlic, salt and pepper. Toss in spaghetti and sauce if you are using and mix well.
Photos by Maria Penaloza
Grease pan really well for this so that your creation comes out easily. Dispense spaghetti into a donut pan or casserole if you are going old school. All you have to do for donuts is shape the pasta around the center of the mold, and they still come out delicious if you don’t try that hard. Sprinkle the extra cheese and some salt and pepper on top.
Bake for 15-25 minutes depending on doneness, rotating once. If you want them a bit crisper you can go to 30, or take out of the molds and bake on a sheet with even more cheese. Try not to go over 350 or 30 minutes for the sake of the cannabutter. Always allow to cool for at least 5 minutes before attempting to remove from the pan, and giving them a twist, rather than trying to pull them out, will get you intact donuts.
*Cannabutter Recipe
Decarboxylate 3.5g of finely ground cannabis at 225 degrees for 20 minutes in a tightly sealed, oven safe container. Put cannabis in lidded mason jar or vacuum sealed bag with cannabis and one stick of butter.
Heat in water bath just under boiling for at least 1 hour. Strain and chill to use in recipes.
Photos by Maria Penaloza
Serve wrapped in paper to hit the road, cut in half and smeared with spread or stuffed with breakfast meats, or if you are feeling extra carby, stick it on an English muffin. The bite of the garlic will help wake up last night’s flavors, and a generous dose of cheese and cream makes the egg mixture fluffy and soft, not rubbery and tough, so you enjoy every second of this repeat.
A lot of celebs fill their Instagram accounts with selfies and red carpet shots, but there are some flip-side foodie celebrities who love taking photos of food more than themselves. Here are 10 Instagram accounts belonging to famous people that will make you more hungry than envious.
Chrissy Teigen
The Cravings cookbook author loves simple foods that she can whip up for herself and her family. And the swimsuit model has no shame in devouring junk food. She’s got pics of Shake Shack burgers and Atlanta BBQ, but her cooking skills steal the show.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BMhhcLXgz51/
Aziz Ansari
Season two of Master of None focuses on food in Italy and NYC. In fact, the season opens with Anzari’s character, Dev, making pasta in Modena, and proceeds to follow him as he sips espresso, and enjoys a birthday lunch at an exclusive restaurant before heading home to NYC where he hosts not just a cupcake baking competition, but a food and travel show on TV.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BDO6P_lyRG2
Gwyneth Paltrow
An author of several healthy cookbooks, Paltrow doesn’t shy away from showing the world how skilled she is in the kitchen. But unlike her reputation, her photos aren’t nearly as pretentious. They genuinely seem to reflect her life as a mom, like the time she grabbed lunch at Legoland.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BRPGa3bAiRF
Jessica Seinfeld
The only thing Mrs. Jerry Seinfeld loves more than eating is cooking for her family. Making a name for herself as a guru of family meals, she’s currently plugging her latest cookbook, Food Swings, but you can find tons more recipes on her website, which is a virtual (and searchable) recipe box.
As the owner of Au Fudge, a glitzy kid-friendly restaurant in L.A., Biel likes to imbibe in a little Research & Development now and then, and often takes photos of the process.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BRO4CXpFV46
Jon Favreau
He isn’t actually a Chef, but he played one in the movie of the same name (which he also wrote, produced and directed). He told Jimmy Kimmel the movie was the reason he learned how to cook.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BIdDvP4jSqI/
Ali Larter
Like a lot of actors who love to cook, Larter has her own food blog and a cookbook: Kitchen Revelry. She’s been a guest judge on Top Chef Masters and Food Network Star. Needless to say, her Instagram is filled with the food she eats while dining out, as well as the food she makes herself.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BPvbt4ogup4
Jesse Tyler Ferguson
The Modern Family star has a passion for cooking and entertaining. How much of a foodie is he? He got to host the James Beard Awards (the “foodie Oscars”) this year. Oh, and he also has…wait for it…a food blog!
https://www.instagram.com/p/BUAdC8nAOmT
Sammy Hagar
The former Van Halen frontman turned rum entrepreneur lives an envious drinking lifestyle, but sometimes, he eats food too!
It’s been a brutally tough month for cannabis advocates in Texas. Texas’ Medical Marijuana Bill 2107, the first comprehensive medical marijuana bill to clear a committee in the state’s history, originally was seen as a longshot for passage. But support for the bipartisan measure was picking up stream and passage — considered by many experts to be a political miracle — appeared possible.
But last week, despite a series of frantic moves by those championing the cause, the bill died on the vine. It was a maddening conclusion to a campaign that could have been a landmark law in a state not normally friendly to the cannabis industry.
The state’s Public Health Committee approved the bill by a vote of 7 to 2. Political insiders said the bill would most likely be approved by the full House if brought up for a vote, because 77 of 150 House members were co-authors of the legislation.
But 11th-hour bureaucratic wrangling sent the measure down to defeat. The legislation would have increased the number of medical conditions that qualify for the Texas Compassionate Use Program. It also would allow patients to consume medical marijuana if they had a doctor’s recommendation.
Neal Pollack, a Texas-based reporter for The Cannabist, wrote a compelling behind-the-scenes timeline of how the legislation came oh-so-close to passing.
Even though the law failed to pass this year, advocates in Texas are not giving up. Wrote Pollack:
Meanwhile, activists are going to have to spend another legislative session looking to gain rights that, by 2019, likely will be commonplace throughout much of the country. Heather Fazio [Texas political director of The Marijuana Policy Project] says it’s “going to be a campaign issue.”
“People want someone’s head on a pitchfork,”Texas NORML’s [Jay] Finkel said after the bill’s demise. “They are frustrated and angry. And you know what? They should be. They are dying. It’s awful. But they’re going to have to get involved during the full cycle…We finally find this bipartisan bill that so many people could agree on, and it was too late.”
One thing is certain: The groundswell of support for medical marijuana continues to grow in Texas.
Jimmy Fallon addressed rumors about his alleged drinking habits and backlash over his controversial sit-down with President Donald Trump in a new interview with The New York Times, which was published on Wednesday, May 17.
Telling the NYT, “I could never do a day-to-day job if I was drinking every night. That’s just kicking you when you’re down.”
The TV host also brushed off concerns that his late-night show’s ratings have plummeted and that viewers are switching over to Stephen Colbert’s left-leaning Late Show. “We’re winning in something. People in the height requirement between 5-7 and 5-11, we’re No. 1, from 11:50 to 11:55,” he joked. “I never, ever care. I’ll know when someone fires me.”
Beyoncé And Jay Z Are Officially A Billion-Dollar Couple
According to Forbes’ list of “America’s Wealthiest Self-Made Women,” Beyoncé has amassed a personal fortune of $350 million. As reported last week, Jay Z’s fortune sits right at $810 million (he trails No. 1 Diddy by just $10 million). That brings the couple to a combined net worth of $1.16 billion and counting.
Via Forbes:
So how, exactly, did they pull it off? Ask Beyoncé, and the answer is straightforward: “I’m never satisfied,” she once told FORBES. “I’ve never met anyone that works harder than me in my industry.”
Lemonade Beyoncé’s sixth solo No. 1 album–as the singer pressed forward into weightier subject matter than she’d typically explored in her early career, tying herself to the Black Lives Matter movement along the way.
Beyoncé and husband Jay Z also waded into the national debate during the 2016 presidential election, performing at a Hillary Clinton event in Ohio last November and offering vocal support. Taking on a more political tone didn’t tamp down the Knowles-Carters’ financial prospects; on the contrary, they seem to be only increasing in stature–both in terms of influence and wealth.
Though Jay Z hasn’t been hitting the road as hard as his wife of late, that should change this summer with a slate of huge festival dates in the wake of a new ten-year, $200 million deal signed with Live Nation last week.
“This renewed partnership is a testament to our longstanding relationship and the talented individuals at Live Nation,” Jay Z said in a statement. “For the next ten years, we will continue redefining the live event landscape.”
Beyoncé and Jay Z have earned plenty of cash separately, and though the bulk of the couple’s wealth is tied up in his companies–Roc Nation, Armand de Brignac and others–there is plenty of synergy as well.
The Knowles-Carters both hold significant equity in Tidal, the streaming service Jay Z purchased for $56 million two years ago. The value of their stakes soared when Sprint invested a reported $200 million for a 33% of the company–valuing Tidal at $600 million and helping launch Beyoncé and Jay Z into ten-figure territory.
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