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Everything You Need To Know About The DEA’s Refusal To Declassify Marijuana

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Last week, the DEA rejected a five-year-old petition signed by two governors to change marijuana’s status from a “Schedule I” narcotic, the same category as more dangerous drugs like LSD and heroin. The decision essentially puts the federal government at odds with the 25 states (and the District of Columbia) that have legalized at least some form of medical cannabis use. Here’s everything you need to know about the decision.

By retaining the Schedule I classification for cannabis, the DEA has reaffirmed its previous position that there is “no currently accepted medical use” for the drug and that it has “a high potential for abuse.” In his letter explaining the decision, acting DEA Administrator Chuck Rosenberg wrote that marijuana “does not have a currently accepted medical use in treatment in the United States.”

“The FDA drug approval process for evaluating potential medicines has worked effectively in this country for more than 50 years,” he wrote. “It is a thorough, deliberate and exacting process grounded in science, and properly so, because the safety of our citizens relies on it.”

“If the scientific understanding about marijuana changes — and it could change — then the decision could change,” he added. “But we will remain tethered to science, as we must, and as the statute demands.”

One reason for the lack of rigorous scientific testing on the drug, of course, is the federal government’s restrictions on obtaining it, which are exacerbated by its classification as a Schedule I narcotic, creating a cyclical, Catch 22-type scenario. From the Washington Post:

For instance, last fall, a Brookings Institution report slammed the federal government for “stifling medical research” in the area of marijuana policy. As a Schedule 1 drug, it’s much harder for researchers to work with marijuana than with many other controlled substances. The American Academy of Pediatrics has called on the government to move marijuana into Schedule 2 to facilitate more research into medical uses.

Forbes notes that many common, over-the-counter drugs like aspirin and caffeine come from plants that, if ingested in a different form, have side effects that range from gastric bleeding to death. Even the drugs that contribute to, and arguably created, the current opiate crisis in the United States are categorized as Schedule II because they have “currently accepted medical use in treatment.” Those drugs, which include oxycodone and morphine, kill over 16,000 people per year in the U.S.

There is some good news from the DEA’s announcement. Before the announcement, U.S. researchers looking to examine the medicinal effects of weed could only obtain it from one source, the University of Mississippi at Oxford, which grows weed under a contract with the National Institute on Drug Abuse, or NIDA. As Nature notes, the application process could be time consuming, and the university’s cannabis often had lower levels of tetrahydrocannabinol (THC) than the weed used by regular consumers. But now the DEA is allowing any institution to apply for its own right to grow marijuana.

“It’s an incredible pleasure to see the DEA let the science speak for itself,” Rick Doblin, director of the Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies, told Nature.

Others, including Dr. Sunil Kumar Aggarwal, a New York City-based physician who studies the effects of marijuana in hospice care, also praised the DEA’s decision.

And John Hudak, a senior fellow at the Brookings Institution, told the New York Times that the decision “will create a supply of research-grade marijuana that is diverse, but more importantly, it will be competitive and you will have growers motivated to meet the demand of researchers.”

“Will this decision make it significantly easier for scientists to study the medical benefits of marijuana?” he wrote last week. “The answer sadly is: unlikely. And this is a missed opportunity that could further delay potential therapies to countless people.”

Gupta argues that while, in theory, the loosening of restrictions on researchers access is a good thing, it’s still mostly an empty gesture because of the drug’s continuing status as Schedule I. From CNN:

Potential researchers typically go to the DEA first, as it grants the license to begin scientific research. Even if a license is granted, to study a Schedule I substance, institutions must have heavy-duty safes and high-grade security systems installed, which can be expensive. There is also the more subjective consideration of getting approval from your academic institution to do the research on a Schedule I status substance in the first place. Even if individual faculty members want to do that research, the university leadership may not want the hassle or the potential fallout of bad press.

Gupta also notes the hypocrisy of the DEA’s decision to keep the drug Schedule I, which the agency’s former chief administrative law judge, Francis Young, disagreed with publicly in 1988. From Young’s petition:

“In strict medical terms marijuana is far safer than many foods we commonly consume. For example, eating 10 raw potatoes can result in a toxic response. By comparison, it is physically impossible to eat enough marijuana to induce death. Marijuana in its natural form is one of the safest therapeutically active substances known to man. By any measure of rational analysis marijuana can be safely used within the supervised routine of medical care.”

Twenty-eight years later, Gupta writes, not much has changed. Last year, in an editorial accompanying a study showing the, for now, limited effectiveness of medical marijuana, Yale School of Medicine professors Deepak Cyril D’Souza and Mohini Ranganathan wrote that accurate testing of the drug will require increased standards and governmental encouragement.

“Evidence justifying marijuana use for various medical conditions will require the conduct of adequately powered, double-blind, randomized, placebo/active controlled clinical trials to test its short- and long-term efficacy and safety,” they wrote. “The federal government and states should support medical marijuana research.”

To do that, declassifying marijuana as a Schedule II drug would be a great place to start.

Trump Quotes In This Futurama Character’s Voice Is Everything We Ever Wanted

There’s something familiar about Trump.  The hair. The self-importance. The misogyny. The up-failing ways of a man given too much status and too little grey matter.

He bears a striking resemblance to Futurama’s Zapp Brannigan, a character creator David X. Cohen has described as “half Captain Kirk, half actual William Shatner.” His motives are uncannily similar to the Donald’s: Defeating pacifists, bullying the weak, climbing as high as possible with minimal effort.

Billy West, the prolific voice of animated characters including Zapp, put his gifts to work on making America laugh again. Using the hashtag #MakeAmericaBrannigan, West recorded Zapp’s voice saying Trumps actual quotes. It’d almost be unbelievable that these are actual quotes, if West hadn’t included the year and place where Trump said them.

Let’s just hope we don’t hear “Fire all weapons and open a hailing frequency for my victory yodel” in November.

The Fresh Prince’s Carlton Banks Is Hiding In Big Banks’ Software

It’s not unusual to be loved by anyone. Also not unusual: having fun with code. For proof, gaze into the loving eyes of ASCII Carlton:

This tweet from Undt Type resurfaces a post from 2014 on Codementor about Easter eggs. The anonymous source claims to have stuck Alfonso Ribeiro’s smiling face — a dapper star of the Fresh Prince of Bel Air — into the code of a financial application still being used by three large banks. May he watch over our student loans and guard us from overdraft charges.

Skankstral Ska Hotel, And 5 More Cover Songs That Shouldn’t Exist

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If you’re a Neutral Milk Hotel fan, you’re familiar with Jeff Mangum’s dreamily, occasionally pleasantly almost-monotone voice and simple acoustic guitar riffs. You’ve swayed to “Two Headed Boy” and probably have some kind of late nineties coming-of-age memories with “King of Carrot Flowers” as the soundtrack.

Ready to have all of that shat — I mean, ska’d — on? Enter Skankstral Ska Hotel, with their album “In the Aeroskank Over The Checkered Pattern,” the ska cover band we didn’t know we never needed. It’s like a muppet got its paws on a drum machine. It’s bad. It commits, but it’s bad.

That not enough for your sadistic musical choices today? Then may the gods forgive us: here are five more horrible covers of otherwise great songs.

Limp Bizkit owes Wham an apology. Instead of George Michael’s taut denim booty, we get Fred Durst and the Goatee Gang swinging their gaudy chains toward a camera that’s on the ground. And a lot of screaming. And scratching.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQVieEO6GuU&feature=youtu.be

You know Don McLean’s wistful ode to Americana. You know Madonna. But do you know her cover, featuring a techno beat and a lot of writhing around in a cami and low-rise jeans? There are goths, ballet dancers, kaleidoscope effects, and a Moody Man. Watch the video at your peril.

Billy Idol covered “Heroin” by The Velvet Underground and it’s weird as you’d think. This song just shouldn’t be covered by anyone, ever. True, Billy Idol struggled with heroin himself, so he almost gets a pass. Almost.

Okay, this is a tough one, because Lacey Sturm’s disclaimer at the beginning of this video is endearing. She doesn’t want to just be an entertainer. She wants to offend and inspire, just like Kurt Cobain! But sometimes when you shoot for the moon you land in a key you can’t quite reach. Or something. Curiously, Flyleaf’s cover of “Smells Like Team Spirit” might actually capture some essence of being a teenager, because it’s awkward as awkward as pinning a corsage on a satin dress.

Vanilla Ice’s cover of “Play That Funky Music” comes SO close to working. For Vanilla Ice, at least. If you listen and don’t watch the video, you’ll get less nauseated. Well, it’s okay until he gets to 2:40 and chants “Go white boy, go white boy, go!” And with that, we’re out.

The Greatest Story Ever About #NationalLazyDay

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We had great ambitions for this post. Then thought: you know what? Fuck it. Who needs this anyway? We’re knocking off early for some burgers, some beers, a few laughs. Yeah, fuck it.

Smug-Ass Dolphin Snatches iPad From Deserving Victim

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Most people know you shouldn’t use an iPad to take a photo anywhere, much less right next to the dolphin pen at SeaWorld. One woman didn’t know this but now she does, thanks to a quick-thinking dolphin that ripped the device from her hands and dragged it into his tank.

The woman quickly retrieved it and tried to walk away like nothing happened, but let’s face it: That iPad—and the woman’s day—are likely ruined.

The Fresh Toast staff had some internal debate about the dolphin’s smiling reaction, which you can see in the screenshot below. My initial take was that the dolphin was cool and good, and had earned the right to be happy; my editor and a fellow writer felt that he was being smug.

[poll id=”3″]

Either way, he taught the woman—and all of us—a valuable lesson: never trust a dolphin.

Oliver Stone’s Snowden Is Built To Thrill

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The much anticipated film Oliver Stone’s Snowden is built to thrill!  Edward Snowden is central character in a captivating film that captures the mind. Snowden made global news for his actions.

Edward Snowden is an American and naturalized Russian former computer intelligence consultant and whistleblower. In 2013, while working as an employee and subcontractor for the National Security Agency (NSA), Snowden leaked highly classified information about government surveillance programs. Some view him as a hero and whistleblower, while others see him as a grandiose narcissist and criminal. Snowden’s decision to leak the documents developed gradually, and he believed that exposing the abuses of government intelligence agencies was necessary. He is currently in exile in Russia and has been awarded the Right Livelihood Award. Snowden’s actions sparked a global conversation about privacy, surveillance, and government transparency. 

Secrets, lies, and a sexy cast. We’re in.

Snowden is a 2016 biographical thriller film directed by Oliver Stone and written by Stone and Kieran Fitzgerald. Based on the books The Snowden Files (2014) by Luke Harding and Time of the Octopus(2015) by Anatoly Kucherena, the film stars Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Edward Snowden, a Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) subcontractor and whistleblower who copied and leaked highly classified information from the National Security Agency (NSA) beginning in 2013. In addition to Gordon-Levitt, the film features an ensemble cast including Shailene Woodley, Melissa Leo, Zachary Quinto, Tom Wilkinson, Scott Eastwood, Logan Marshall-Green, Timothy Olyphant, Ben Schnetzer, LaKeith Lee Stanfield, Rhys Ifans and Nicolas Cage. An international co-production of Germany, France, and the United States, principal photography began on February 16, 2015 in Munich.

RELATED: Marijuana Hot Sauce For Taco Tuesday!

Snowden screened at San Diego Comic-Con on July 21, 2016, before premiering at the 2016 Toronto International Film Festival on September 9, 2016. The film was theatrically released in the United States on September 16, 2016, by Open Road Films and on September 22 in Germany.[6] It received mixed reviews from critics, who praised Gordon-Levitt’s performance but criticized the direction. It was also a box office bomb, grossing $37.3 million worldwide against its $40 million budget.[2]

Poll Number For Marijuana Doubles In Three Years

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More Americans are smoking weed than ever, or at least they’re being more honest about it. Thirteen percent of U.S. citizens currently smoke marijuana, according to a new Gallup poll. That figure has nearly doubled since 2013, when just seven percent admitted to regularly toking up.

Why the dramatic increase? Part of it certainly has to do with the increased legalization–and subsequent mainstream acceptance–of the drug. In 2013, just two states, Colorado and Washington, had legalized recreational marijuana; four states, plus the District of Columbia, allow it today. As Gallup notes, all four states—the new additions are Alaska and Oregon—are in the western part of the U.S., where poll participants were “significantly more likely” to admit regular cannabis use. It’s seems like a safe bet that the number of admitted users will continue to rise in the months to come, with five more states set to vote on recreational marijuana in November.

The demographic breakdowns are about what you’d expect, with younger, non-religious Americans leading the way. Nineteen percent of 18-29 year olds said they ingested some form of pot, 10 percent more than 30 to 49 year olds did and 12 percent more than 50 to 64 year olds did (just three percent of the 65 year old and older crew smokes, or fessed up to it at least).

Education level didn’t seem to matter much, with only a two percent difference between people with some college or a college degree (11 percent) and those with just a high school diploma (nine percent). Only six percent of nerds (postgrads) reported regular pot use .

For more on the current state of weed use in the U.S., read the full poll at Gallup.

The Delegate Pushing To Make Weed Part Of The GOP Platform

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Dale Jackson, who owns a heating and air conditioning company, attended this year’s Republican National Convention as a delegate from Georgia’s third congressional district, an area of conservative suburbs south of Atlanta. Jackson has three children and the middle-one, Colin, has low-functioning autism. Colin has responded well to cannabis oil with a specific ratio of CBD to THC. But Jackson’s support for access to medical marijuana puts him at odds with his party, which rejected supporting medical marijuana in its 2016 platform. Jackson and I spoke recently about what cannabis has done for his son, and about his experience at the GOP’s convention in Cleveland. The following has been edited for length and clarity.

Meet the delegate pushing to make weed part of the GOP Platform.

The Fresh Toast: How has Colin responded to cannabis oil?

Dale Jackson: Before we started treating him, he wasn’t able to communicate in any way and now, he’s feeding himself with minimal assistance. I just get a scoop of oatmeal and leave the spoon in the bowl, and then he’s picking it up himself and putting it in his mouth. In the past, he would do that every once in awhile if I poked his elbow, got him started. This seems so trivial, but for us, it’s really not.

When we’re out eating, he wouldn’t ever be able to communicate to us if he’s hungry or if he’s thirsty. Now, I still have to feed him every meal, but if I slow down in scooping up whatever he’s eating, he’ll start poking the plate or poking me. Now, if he’s thirsty, he’ll poke his cup. That’s him communicating with us that, “Hey, I want another bite,” or, “Hey, I’m thirsty.” That has never happened before.

While he still can’t verbally speak, I feel that there has been a tremendous increase in the communication between us and him.

Let’s talk about the convention. What happened in the room?

I arrived Monday [July 18] and I met with some of my contacts and they felt the best approach would be to present it to the full platform committee. [With Eric Brakey, a State Senator from Maine] we presented the amendment before the full committee.

The ignorance that was on display from the platform committee– they had no idea what they were talking about — was extremely painful to listen to, especially because I wasn’t able to respond. One poor lady literally blamed all of the mass murders on kids smoking pot.

Here in Georgia, which is considered a very red state, we did numerous polls just in support of medical cannabis oil and in growing cannabis in the state of Georgia, and it was actually the most popular topic in the state.

When obviously, I believe, nearly every single one of those kids that committed those murders has been documented that they were on FDA-approved psychotic medication, and not pot.

RELATED: Science Says Medical Marijuana Improves Quality Of Life

Did anyone respond positively?

There were probably ten different people that spoke out either for or against, and I would say three or four out of the ten responded positively. The six or seven that spoke out against it, obviously didn’t have a clue what we were talking about.

There was just a poll that found that for the first time, more Republicans support legalizing marijuana than don’t. And not just medical marijuana.

Here in Georgia, which is considered a very red state, we did numerous polls just in support of medical cannabis oil and in growing cannabis in the state of Georgia, and it was actually the most popular topic in the state. At the beginning of the legislative session, the largest newspaper did a poll on the top six or seven issues, and of all the issues, the general public supported our bill at an 82%, and that’s Democrats and Republicans.

This was the medical bill.

Right, the bill we were trying to pass was to make it legal to actually grow it in the state so that we can get oil legally. Right now, the law that we passed in 2015 just basically gives us a card where we can use it but we have no legal way to get it.

We’re not druggies, just looking for an excuse to use cannabis. The worst thing [for opponents], is for one of us to get arrested for helping our child. Put me in front of a jury, please.

That’s why so many, myself and so many other autistic parents now, we’re just openly treating our children with cannabis oil and bragging about it on social media, because we know that law enforcement doesn’t want to touch us. They’re not going to touch us.

Photo by Sara Monty courtesy of Dale Jackson
Photo by Sara Monty courtesy of Dale Jackson

Because you’re parents, because you’re upstanding people?

Exactly. We’re not druggies, just looking for an excuse to use cannabis. The worst thing [for opponents], is for one of us to get arrested for helping our child. Put me in front of a jury, please. This issue will get resolved real quick.

As a longtime Republican activist, what do you see as needing to happen for the base to come around on this?

On medical cannabis oil, there’s nothing fancy that needs to be done. It’s strictly education. That’s it. I go and speak to group after group after group of Republicans and I specifically try to go and talk with any group I can with individuals over 60. Within ten minutes of just explaining the law and explaining what medical cannabis oil is, they are instantly converted and supportive.

But before that, before they hear, their concept of medical cannabis is me literally smoking a joint and blowing smoke in my child’s face. That’s where they’re coming from.

Well-Behaved, Big-Ass Tortoise Returns to Family After Slowly Walking Away From Wildfire

A 75-pound pet tortoise named Tank was reunited was his family recently after he wandered off from their Santa Clarita, Calif., home as a wildfire raged nearby.

Aaron Reyes, deputy director of the County of Los Angeles Department of Animal Care and Control (DACC), told ABC News that Tank was found “walking as quickly as he could away from the fires.”

From ABC News:

Wendy Collins, the tortoise’s self-proclaimed “mommy,” told ABC News today her beloved “Tank,” whom she also calls “Pebbles,” was left behind early Saturday afternoon by her husband after the family was ordered by sheriff’s deputies to evacuate their home.

“Because of the tight time frame he was given, my husband was only able to take our two dogs, his bearded dragon and the essentials,” Collins said. “I had been trying to come home from work at the time but got stuck in traffic.”

After a friend reached out to the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department, county animal care and control officers found the big-ass turtle on a street near the Collins’s home and took him to a local animal shelter, where he was a big hit.

“He was such a sweetheart and had a big personality,” Reyes told ABC. “He minded his manners, and though he was a very alert fella, he was not snappy at all. He was obviously a well-raised, perfect lil’ gentleman.”

All that walking and meeting new people apparently wore Tank out. “When he got home, the first thing he did was go straight to bed,” Collins said.

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