By the time authorities cleared the area, nothing but wet ground and broken glass. They tried to barricade the area, but it was too late.
Let he who wouldn’t absolutely love for this to happen on their commute cast the first stone.
When a truck carrying a delivery of liquor bottles hit a divider and flipped in South Delhi, it was every passer-by for himself. After dumping his precious cargo all over the street, the driver “mysteriously fled,” the Times of India reports.
And for good reason: Police suspect he was transporting the booze illegally. They’re still looking for the guy, but his misfortune was the rest of the town’s Best Day Ever. People on bikes riding alongside the scene of the crash found themselves in the right place at the right time, and started grabbing what they could from the wreckage, pulling single bottles are first and then going for whole cases. People with jackets likely thanked their good judgement for bundling up for the day as they stuffed the stuff into pockets.
It’s unclear if, their arms and bike racks full of booze, these lucky few nearby started texting and tweeting to their buddies “FREE GRAIN ALCOHOL IN CHIRAG DILLI” or if the commotion coming from their clattering scramble alerted those nearby, but word spread, and other started showing up with cars. By the time authorities cleared the area, nothing but wet ground and broken glass. They tried to barricade the area, but it was too late. The driver continues at large, hopefully having a drink of his own to calm his nerves after the wreck and count his own lucky stars.
If you vote and don’t post about it on social media, did it even happen? The answer may surprise you—it does!
But there’s no shame and all glory in posting your voting stickers online. Your favorite celebrities are all getting out and rocking the vote. Like you probably are, they’re posting selfies with their “I Voted” stickers in places that may surprise you.
It’s election night, which means half the country is going to be upset and half the country is going to be happy (and some small percentage of the people will remain flabbergasted that this is how a country finds its leadership). But something we can all agree on is the need for a cold one after the returns have come in. What are the best brews to have on such a momentous day? Great question! We got you!
Sierra Nevada Pale Ale
https://www.instagram.com/p/BMFaMx-grP6/
Maybe the crowned prince of craft beer (especially on such a large-scale), Sierra Nevada’s famous pale might hold the title of best first sip in all of the beer world. It’s sharp and bright while also maintaining a welcoming tone – in other words it’s got all the characteristics of a good friend during this tumultuous time.
Newcastle Brown Ale
https://www.instagram.com/p/BMbvhBVhhm_/
Round and sweet but with enough body not to be a pushover, this crisp, darker-hued brown ale is pleasant but strong enough in character to lean on in times of crisis. I generally prefer it with a shot of whiskey, which is something we all may need by the end of the night.
Stella Artois Pilsner
https://www.instagram.com/p/BIvTw-VhP2b/
A beer anyone can drink. A populist beer! Mom will like it, brother will tolerate it, friends will appreciate you aren’t serving Coors Light and — bonus! — it’s the kind of beer you can have several of as you wait out the returns, sweating your ass off.
Angry Orchard Apple Cider
https://www.instagram.com/p/BI8JTtaBp0G/
Your surprise candidate has just taken the lead in a major race, why not celebrate it with something off the beaten path: craft cider! Often, ciders can be thick, cloyingly sweet and cringe-worthy but this version walks the middle of the road with valor. As our palates continue to change, cider is becoming more and more prominent. Get on the bandwagon!
Redhook ESB
https://www.instagram.com/p/BMCQdQHjGiD/
Often the most important part of Election Day is following the local results. So why not try a beer made with the locals in mind? Redhook is one of the original craft beers and since its inception, the brewery has made national press for itself. The ESB is their flagship concoction and drinks edged and full, just like a seasoned representative.
Sam Adams Boston Lager
https://www.instagram.com/p/BLrHYUOjp26/
This beer just makes you feel patriotic. The Boston Tea Party, the Adams family, heck I even think of the famed Hamilton musical when sampling this age-old brew. Somehow, it feels like the Constitution was written while sloshing down a few of these pints. What could go wrong?
Anchor Steam Amber
https://www.instagram.com/p/BL9vkBAjzqt/
Somehow, San Francisco and its history of free love always plays a role in influencing national politics, so why not have one of the original craft breweries (from S.F.) represented on this prestigious list? It’s a bold, lovely beer you can enjoy with a flower in your hair.
Spoetzl Brewery Shiner Bock
https://www.instagram.com/p/BERSQ1ki9DJ/
When talking politics, Texas has to be mentioned and this odd little gem from the Lone Star State is as good a representation as any from the state that does it big. The Shiner Bock is a huge, malty beer perfect for washing down ribs or brisket or the bad taste in your mouth from an undesired result.
Within our hyper-accelerated news culture, it can be tough to keep up with everything. But maintaining an informed populace remains vital to our culture. So for those stories that don’t quite need your undivided attention, we’re helping you digest stuff with GIFS, pics, and whatever qualifies as a quick fix. Remember: Knowing is half the battle. The other half: Laughing at funny memes.
Remembering Our Fallen Political Candidates
To sum up the general mood permeating the air we say this: Thank goodness this election ends today. We’ve had our laughs, but we’re all a little ready to move on. Following everything that’s happened, all those dormant emotions and those hidden political stances surfaced, you might feel a little changed.
You are not alone in this sentiment. For most of us we’re mere spectators in the political arena this year. What to make then of the fallen warriors who previously vied for our vote?
Here at TFT, we’re happy to release these exclusive before and after images of the political candidates who could not compete with Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton.
Reports surfaced recently that Kanye West, perfectionist in the art of being, did not like his furniture. Many have likely had a similar epiphany—you’re laying on the couch, doing some Netflix and Chill, rolling round, trying to get comfortable, when you realize you freaking hate this couch. It’s never been comfortable and never will be.
But you’re probably not in the economic position to do anything about it. Kanye is. New York Magazine describes Kanye having spent “nearly all his money” on furniture for this Calabasas home, including a $30,000 couch. But it wasn’t good enough for Mr. West. Here’s a live look at his reaction.
He tried to return it to the vendors, who said no, and so now that furniture’s just hanging in storage somewhere. Apparently he brought in interior designer Sandy Gallin to redecorate and bought a whole new set of furniture. Let’s hope Kanye’s mood soon returns to how he should be:
One of the most terrifying freak occurrences actually happened: snakes on a plane. Yes, an Aeromexico flight from Torreon to Mexico City found a snake dangling from overhead storage bins.
La vibora voladora…ja ja ja. Una experiencia única en el Vuelo Torreón-México, vuelo 231 de Aeroméxico. Eso si…Prioridad en aterrizaje. pic.twitter.com/qwDk6Wtszw
We don’t even need to call in our Spineless Reptiles on Aircraft Correspondent on this one. We already know what he’s going to say. So we’ll say it for you, Samuel L. Jackson.
Take a break from the doom and gloom to revel in history being made today: Watch as hundreds of people file past camera frame at Mount Hope Cemetery in Rochester, New York to take a photo op and honor Susan B. Anthony. Her accomplishments helped pave to way to (finally) putting a woman on the primary election ballot for president of the United States. Today, people are visiting to place their “I Voted” stickers on her gravestone, pose for photos, and reflect on her life.
Sixteen-year-old Susie B. collected anti-slavery petitions, and joined the women’s rights movement in 1852 with her friend and fellow badass feminist Elizabeth Cady Stanton. She’s most famous for being arrested for voting while female at the 1872 election: Her trial pushed the suffrage movement forward, as America started to realize how stupid sexism really is.
The judge asked her if she had anything to say for herself, and oh hell yes she did: “Yes, your honor, I have many things to say. My every right, constitutional, civil, political and judicial has been tramped upon. I have not only had no jury of my peers, but I have had no jury at all.”
The judge told her to sit down, to which she replied, “I shall not sit down. I will not lose my only chance to speak.”
At the end of the Civil War, according to historian Ann D. Gordon, “Susan B. Anthony occupied new social and political territory. She was emerging on the national scene as a female leader, something new in American history, and she did so as a single woman in a culture that perceived the spinster as anomalous and unguarded … By the 1880s, she was among the senior political figures in the United States.”
But back to this delightful livestream: By mid-morning. people were waiting in line for up to 75 minutes for a chance to pay their respects to this OG feminist. A little after 11 a.m., Rochester’s mayor Lovely Warren arrived to pay her respects. “We can do it!” someone shouted from the crowd, to which Warren replied, “We will do it!” Warren is the first female and second African-American mayor of the city.
“It is because of the sacrifice Susan B. Anthony made so many years ago that we’re able to do this,” she continued. “It pays tribute to the history that’s right here in Rochester. Not forgetting whose shoulders we stand on.”
You can even go with Susan’s blessing when you raise a stiff drink to America’s future tonight: While she advocated for temperance, she refused to support Prohibition because it detracted from the women’s rights causes she was fighting for.
“I have always loved marijuana. It has been a source of joy and comfort to me for many years. And I still think of it as a basic staple of life, along with beer and ice and grapefruits – and millions of Americans agree with me”, Hunter S. Thompson.
Millions of Americans also agree that football is a “staple of life” and we think Thompson would concur as he has been quoted as calling autumn “…the football months.” So in the spirit of Gonzo, autumn, football, and the love of weed (now legal in 25 states, with nine more states voting today), I invited a gaggle of friends to trek up to the blustery, wind whipping, Northern tip of Manhattan to enjoy a football game at Columbia University’s “Robert K. Kraft Field” in Inwood. There, we hollered a lot and found five things that we love about the football season with which we think you’ll agree.
Football Fashion
Photo by Robert Galinsky
Football fashion happily coincides with the least complicated season to look good in: Autumn, where anyone from stoner to sophisticate can be a fall model. The cold temperatures are perfect for light layers, thick turtlenecks and vintage varsity pullovers that create a fashion mash up you can showcase in front of thousands of fans. The swirling, scorched, psychedelic sienna colors of autumn are the perfect 3-D runway for bulky sweaters, knit scarves, and slouchy hats. And when the inevitable spinning deep red-brown, bright banana yellow and fluorescent orange leaves cling to your clothes, everything has fallen into place, and creates a point scoring fashion statement that lands you in the win column.
After watching the Yale Bulldogs trounce the Lions of Columbia one Friday night (31-23), I realized that fans and fanatics need relief from watching a perennially losing team (Columbia once went 47 games in a row without winning a football game). Sitting in the 17,000-seat stadium I noticed a number of spirited students, very high up in the nose-bleed seats, continuing a long-held tradition of smokers therapy, dating back to Jack Kerouac’s time at the school (FYI, Kerouac earned football scholarships from Notre Dame, Boston College, and Columbia and chose Columbia for it’s New York literary cache). A study by a Columbia University student, published in the journal JAMA Psychiatry in February of 2016, has found that “cannabis use was not associated with increased risk for developing mood or anxiety disorders.” Good news for the Ivy League scholars in attendance and proving, “you get high with a little help from your friends.” Friends who are dedicated to these important studies and research, apparently.
The definition of the word “munch” is “to chew with steady or vigorous working of the jaws, often audibly,” and it has it’s origins in a number of places. From the Old French mangier “to eat or bite,” to the Latin word “to chew,” to the 20th century American “munch,” first attested in popular culture in 1971 with, “craving for food after smoking marijuana.” So when we go to the game and get the multiples of munch — the munchies — we either dig into the traditional stadium concession, bum rush a tailgate grill or pack our own mega-munchie-menu.
A hunger that blazes can easily be satisfied with a variety of hot pretzels, spicy salty sweet beer nuts, all kinds of hot dogs: dirty-water dogs, fried dogs, flame grilled dogs and dogs stacked with everything from champagne Dijon mustard, to beef chili, to mayonnaise, cheese and peanut butter. All of it is acceptable in the feast of football. It is also suggested, in order to save money on beer and soda, to imbibe in some delicious smuggled scotch fresh from the pant leg. I prefer a flask of Talisker 18-Year-Old, a favorite single malt whiskey that fits nicely on the inner thigh. As soon as the game is over, you can go home and warm up with a mug of hot cocoa or apple cider, and if you’re already home, just turn away from the TV and fade into a coma of culinary bloated bliss.
There are few times in life when one gets to yell at the top of their lungs in public and not get negative feedback. A football game is one of those special times/places where losing your voice due to outrageous vocalizations is not only acceptable, but smiled upon. There is a unique joy when you yell at the players, coaches, cheerleaders (or with the cheerleaders) and no one yells back! And for those who stay home to watch the game, screaming and yelling at the game on TV is also perceived as appropriate and inspired behavior, and again, no one yells back! Also it’s healthy. Yes, yelling promotes one of society’s newest catchwords and fads: “mindfulness.” This kind of howling nurtures expression, reduces stress, promotes resiliency, and as long as you are “responding” and not “reacting,” you’ll be doing your mental health many favors. After all is said, or bellowed, and done… get to a game and roaaaaaaaaaaarrrr! It’s good for you.
In the past decade the NFL’s most outspoken proponent of marijuana usage is Ricky Williams, who credits his steady spliff intake for preserving his health and helping him avoid prescription painkiller addictions as well. Now current and past NFL players are investing in cannabis pain-management research to replace the infinite rainbow of pills they’re given in training rooms. It’s estimated 70 to 90 percent of NFL players who use painkillers during their career go on to abuse them. I laud these players for attempting to normalize cannabis in pro sports and as they assert themselves, I think of these words spoken by gridiron legend Vince Lombardi, “Football is a great deal like life in that it teaches that work, sacrifice, perseverance, competitive drive, selflessness… is the price that each and every one of us must pay to achieve any goal that is worthwhile.” Legalizing cannabis during “football months” and beyond is certainly a “goal that is worthwhile.” Thanks Vince.
Sometimes one of the world’s biggest pop stars just wants to wander the streets of his home country, have a few pints at a sports bub, and watch the game. That’s exactly what Justin Bieber did last Friday, as he took a much-needed break from his massive Purpose World Tour.
According to CBC, Bieber was friendly and gracious to both staff and patrons at The Fifth Pubhouse. Dale McDermott, who works at the establishment, told CBC, the experience was “surreal.”
Last night while I was working in my bar Justin Bieber came in on his own to get a few beers. We talked about Ireland and his visit. pic.twitter.com/xcWY2bIDeF
At one point Bieber noticed the pub’s grand piano and asked if he could play. Of course the workers agreed and Bieber played everything from Beethoven’s “Fur Elise” to a stripped-down version of his megahit “Sorry.” He also covered The Beatles “Let It Be” as well as Timbaland and One Republic’s hit “Apologize.” Bieber invited everyone to participate and ended up hosting a little singalong.
You can watch Bieber’s small karaoke session below.
Is coal in the future for naughty politicians – Santa weighs in on marijuana ban.
Cannabis is starting to become legal, and more importantly, recognized at having medical benefits. Even mainstream leaders are seeing the benefits of it being available. But one celebrity is unhappy, Santa’s upset the North Pole to ban cannabis. Yes, the residents of the North Pole Alaska have made Santa mad.
Last month, residents of the North Pole, Alaska, a tiny suburb of Fairbanks, voted to ban marijuana businesses within its city limits. But there’s one small problem: The city’s most famous resident is a medical marijuana patient. Yes, Santa Claus.
Thomas O’Connor legally changed his name in 11 years ago to Santa Claus. O’Connor, aka Santa, is also a cancer patient. He uses marijuana to help ease the devastating symptoms of cancer.
“I think they are not in this particular instance are not embracing the spirit of love,” he told Alaska’s KTUU. “I think what they’re doing is engendering hate, which comes from fear.”
In October, the city voted in favor of Proposition 7, a ballot initiative banning commercial marijuana. So Santa travels to Fairbanks to buy his legal medicine.
“I’m sad to report that a majority of North Pole voters voted to ban dispensaries in North Pole. Personally, I think that outcome calls into question North Pole’s slogan: “Where the Spirit of Christmas Lives Year ‘Round,” Santa posted on his Facebook page last month.
And lastly, here is some good news direct from Santa: “Cannabis users will not be getting coal in their stocking unless they’ve done some other thing that might be considered egregious.”
Wasp Swarms And Poop: August 1 was a weird day for Wolverhampton, UK.
A woman called the West Midlands Police to report a shitty situation: Someone was leaving steamy presents in her yard.
“I don’t know whether I’m making a big fuss, I’ve been out outside to put rubbish in the containers and there’s been a lot of excreta in the garden and I’m wondering whether it’s dogs, or if it’s humans or what,” the woman says in the emergency dispatcher recording. “It is really making me feel sick. I don’t know whether I’m making a terrible fuss.”
Other disgruntled townspeople’s complaints from that day, according to the local newspaper Express & Star, included bad haircuts, broken clocks, too-loud ice cream truck music, and “two million wasps.”
Unfortunately, the police couldn’t make time to detain millions of wasps. “There are no criminal offenses we can arrest them for,” the dispatcher says in a tweet.
Apparently, this day wasn’t unique to the West Midlands Police. Dumb calls are a serious problem for the department’s crime-reporting phone line. “We take literally hundreds of spurious calls a month,” WM Police Head of Force Contact Chief Superintendent Jim Andronov told the Express & Star. Their message to people with nightmare bee swarms or poop-filled yards: Google it first.
Most of Election 2016 has resembled a Groundhog Day scenario—but if the day we kept repeating became stranger and stranger. Thankfully this never-ending cycle will end tomorrow—yes, tomorrow—but that doesn’t make the journey here any less exhausting. To battle that fatigue, most turned to our common respite when staring into the void of absurdity. We turned to comedy.
Not content to let the Trumps have all the fun, Hillary Clinton found ways both intentional and not to make us laugh. She allowed Zach Galifianakis ask her how it’d feel to be the first “girl” president. Let’s not forget her inspiring supporters to organize a “pantsuit power” flash mob. She also admitted to The Breakfast Club radio show that Death Row Records inspired her fashion for the debates.
The cast and writers at SNL weren’tthe only one to enjoy poking fun during the debates. How else did you expect the rest of us to get through it? We gave you some tips to survive the debates, but leave it to the internet to construct more imaginative ways to cope.
However, it will all be over soon. This Groundhog Day nightmare will not perpetuate infinitely. Tomorrow, one way or another, it will end. Hopefully we’ll find some more ways to laugh about it then, too.
