Imagine you’re being a good friend and decide to loan your buddy your BMW so he can drive it to a concert a few hours away. What a nice guy you are! Now imagine that your friend parks your car, attends the show, and then can’t remember where he parked and the car….for six months.
Just such a thing happened last June, when the Manchester Evening Newsreports a man borrowed his friend’s Beamer in Scotland to drive down to a Stones Roses show in Manchester. The man parked in a parking garage near the concert venue, but immediately forgot which one.
When he emerged from the concert, he looked and looked for his buddy’s car to no avail. Five days later, he finally gave up. Two months later, the friend who he’d borrowed the BMW from finally reported the vehicle stolen or lost.
Flash forward to December 30. Manchester police officers happened upon an abandoned BMQ in a parking garage with plates that matched the missing car’s.
Driver apparently spent 5 days searching car parks in the city before reporting as lost/stolen.
— Manchester City Centre Police (GMP) (@GMPCityCentre) December 31, 2016
We can't imagine what the ticket machine is going to say when they finally put the ticket in – £££££££££££££££££££££££££££££
— Manchester City Centre Police (GMP) (@GMPCityCentre) December 31, 2016
Officers estimate the parking garage ticket for the car could be as high as £5,000. No word if the BMW’s owner ever forgave his friend.
Because no day would be complete without some absurd food celebration, today is National Spaghetti Day. It’s the cruel joke the universe plays on us to temp our New Year’s diet resolutions.
Guess what else today is? National Trivia Day. In honor of the hybrid, we turn to social media, the only people who seem to celebrate these nationwide parades of randomness.
If you can guess the correct answers to these questions, we’ll personally bring Chef Boyardee back from the grave to make you some Spaghettios. Too soon?
Q: True or False: National Rigatoni Day already exists.
Spaghetti is the worst pasta why dont we celebrate some good pasta like Rigatoni or Cavatappi #NationalSpaghettiDay
With 2016 hyperbolically labeled the “worst year ever,” most people were looking forward to resetting with a fresh start in 2017. Possibly, the turning of a new year, could help us all move forward. So imagine the delight of comedy and cannabis lovers alike when they awoke to the famous Hollywood sign altered to instead read, Hollyweed.
The sign change is believed to show support for California’s recent passing of Proposition 64, which will legalize recreational marijuana usage in the state. Though there’s still some red tape to manage before Californians can enjoy their cannabis, it still served as inspiration to celebrate early.
Sgt. Guy Juneau with the Los Angeles Police Department’s Security Services told CBS2 the incident unfolded around midnight Saturday after a thrill-seeker climbed the mountain and threw two tarps over the “O’s” to make them appear like “E’s.” It was caught on city surveillance cameras.
Here’s what else you need to know about the “Hollyweed” sign change.
According to TMZ, Zach Fernandez could be behind the stunt. Fernandez goes by “jesushands” on his social media and has been bragging about the mission being “completed.” Close examination shows one of the tarps bearing a “jesushands” tag.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BOu5EXsBCH2/
Added Security
Understandably, the Hollywood Sign Trust wasn’t too ecstatic about the sign change. Chris Baumgart, chairman of the Hollywood Sign Trust, told the Hollywood Reporter that survelliance and security changes would be taken.
This is more than preventing pranks or trespassing at the sign. Our concern is the safety of the neighborhood and the trespassers that put themselves at risk because it is extremely unsafe to be on the sign, let alone traversing the treacherous hillside that is home to those 9 famous letters.
BoJack Horseman
If anyone knows about changing and/or vandalizing the Hollywood Sign, it’s BoJack Horseman. Fans of the show will remember the character drunkenly pilfering the “D” to show his love for Diane, and the town renaming itself “Hollywoo” ever since. But BoJack doesn’t want to take credit for the “Hollyweed” change.
This is not the first time the Hollywood Sign has been changed, nor is it the first time it’s been altered to read “Hollyweed” on New Year’s Day. Daniel Finegood, then an arts major at Cal State Northridge, thought to change the sign as a school assignment on Jan. 1, 1976, when the state’s relaxed marijuana laws came into effect. Finegood got an A on the assignment.
The prankster and friends obscured consonants to coin Holywood for Easter later that year and Ollywood to protest the hero worship of Marine Lt. Col. Oliver North during the Iran-Contra hearings in 1987.
In his final round of wordplay, Finegood made a political statement against the Persian Gulf War by draping plastic sheeting over the 50-foot-high letters to form Oil War in 1990.
For many, New Year’s Eve is the perfect time to get drunk and dance and do things that would generally be considered embarrassing any other night of the year. One Wisconsin man, however, took things a bit too far when he allegedly drank too much and jumped onto the windshield of a moving cop car, where he reportedly did the dance best known as “the worm.”
According to KRON, the Menasha Police Department says they received calls about a man jumping onto the hoods of cars. When officers arrived at the scene, a 25-year-old man, whose name has not yet been released, charged the car and belly flopped onto it. He then reportedly did “the worm.”
Amazingly, most of the encounter was captured on the patrol car’s dashboard camera.
Two officers suffered minor injuries, and the suspect was arrested. Later, the Menasha Police Department shared the story on Facebook along with a photo of the damaged car and a warning: “A reminder that if you drink, please do so responsibly.”
From the department’s Facebook page:
Not a good start to 2017 for MEPD. A 25 year old man from Kimberly who had been drinking jumped onto a vehicle near Oak Street and Nicolet Bldv. at midnight. When officers arrived on scene looking for the man he charged one of the patrol cars, which was not moving, and impacted the windshield. 2 officers were injured when taking the man into custody. One officer was treated and released from the hospital and the other did not seek medical treatment for his injuries. The man was checked at a local hospital and is being held in the Winnebago County Jail. He will be referred to the Winnebago County District Attorney’s Office on multiple charges.
Civil War II wrapped up recently with its final issue and we wanted to give our thoughts on Marvel’s latest big event. Before we proceed, let’s make one point clear: I’m not a Brian Michael Bendis Basher. (Go to everywhere else on the internet for that.) I generally like his work.
Everybody likes to bash him when he shifts the status quo, and when it doesn’t align with certain fans’ desires, his previous, beloved work goes largely ignored. But you can’t dismiss cool stories like House of M, Dark Reign and Siege. This is how I feel about Civil War II–it’s a cool story. And yes, it’s Bendis, so it’s changing the status quo, but it’s comics, just enjoy the ride. It will all go back to normal eventually, if its ending is any indication.
Major spoilers ahead.
When a new Inhuman named Ulysses emerges with the ability to seemingly predict future events, Captain Marvel (Carol Danvers) begins using this to prepare for and stop cataclysms before they even occur. Tony Stark, however, disagrees. He believes that Ulysses’ visions could be influenced by his own experiences and biases. This, according to Tony, is no different than profiling, and the heads begin to butt, establishing the conflict within.
Cover Art via Marvel
Carol ignores Tony’s concerns and heeds one of Ulysses’ warnings: an attack by Thanos. She assembles the Ultimates along with She-Hulk, War Machine (James “Rhodey” Rhodes), and the Inhumans for assistance. Things don’t go as planned, as Thanos seriously injures She-Hulk and kills Rhodey.
Unsurprisingly, the loss of his best friend infuriates Tony, who kidnaps Ulysses right out of Attilan. This leads the Inhumans and various other hero teams to track Tony down. When they find them, Ulysses has another vision of a giant-sized Hulk killing everybody. Different from past visions this one is projected into the minds of everyone in his local vicinity. The group of heroes then converge on Bruce Banner, to see how it all plays out. Hawkeye (Clint Barton) sees a glimmer of green in Bruce’s eyes and assassinates him with an arrow of Bruce’s own design.
The “murder?” of Bruce Banner leads to a huge public outcry, but Clint is found not guilty. The verdict convinces Tony that Captain Marvel has lost control of the situation and he gathers a team of heroes to attack the Triskelion. The battle causes the Inhumans and Guardians of the Galaxy to become involved on Carol’s side, until Ulysses’ projects yet another vision, this time with the younger Spider-Man (Miles Morales) having killed Captain America (Steve Rogers) on Capitol Hill. After the vision, Carol orders the arrest of Miles, but Captain America intervenes and asks that Thor fly him away. Miles gets Thor to drop him off and in a bid to test fate heads to the Capitol Building.
There’s kind of this eerie feeling about this event. A lot has happened, but at the same time, it seems like nothing’s really happened. They kill off Rhodey, and okay, don’t get me wrong, I like Rhodey. But he’s kind of a B-List hero and they kind of skim over his death to begin with. Then they kill the Hulk (Bruce Banner), but Bruce hasn’t been our Hulk lately. We’ve had the “Totally Awesome Hulk” (Amadeus Cho). So, they’ve killed some important characters, but important characters they weren’t really using lately.
It all leads to the culmination of Tony Stark’s death, an event captured on live television. Ulysses, the character who set this whole thing off, also kind of dies, by evolving into a higher plane of consciousness. Though, almost as a callback to the original Civil War, Bendis leaves readers on another cliffhanger that Tony Stark might not be really dead.
Regardless, I still enjoyed it, it’s been a fun ride, but it’ll be nice to put Civil War II in the rearview mirror and look ahead to some cool stuff that Marvel has planned next. Truly my favorite part of this event is every time I read the name Ulysses, I think about that sweet 80’s cartoon theme song.
If only this were a world where eating cookies and pizza and staring at the sun all day could work as healthy lifestyle choices. Unfortunately, this is reality, and these fad diets will only leave you hungry for something more.
The Sun-Eating Diet
Last year, women in Hong Kong were gathering to soak up the sunset rays, staring into the sun and believing that they could absorb energy through its rays. “We practice sun-gazing as a substitute for eating. Some of us who have finished the therapy now eat less, and others don’t have to eat at all,” one woman told Oriental Daily, as the Daily Mail reports. But doctors are worried that this practice could lead to serious eye damage and an increased risk of skin cancer.
We so wish this was a legitimate way to live your life. The Pizza Diet was invented by a New York-based chef, according to People, who swore that eating a whole pizza every day helped him lose almost 100 pounds in five months. The trick here is in the type of pizza, and unfortunately, you can’t order a deep-dish takeout pie covered in pepperoni every day and expect to lose weight. This pizza was made from whole wheat and quality ingredients, and not very big — it totaled less than 600 calories.
The Hollywood Cookie Diet
A nutritional biscuit made of fake ingredients does not a cookie make. Especially if you’re relying on them for your meals. Cookie diets were a big fad for a while, but they’re difficult to maintain and just plain unhealthy, mentally and physically. From the Wall Street Journal:
“Instead, you eat prepackaged cookies (infused with things like glycerine and protein powder) throughout the day in place of breakfast and lunch, then eat a ‘sensible dinner’ of lean protein and vegetables for 800 to 1,200 calories per day, which the purveyors promise will make you lose weight.”
Yep, you get the gist from the name: Eating a ton of cabbage soup, specifically the recipe from the website, is supposed to help you lose weight. Or just be really disgusting.
The Tapeworm Diet
Oh yes, remember this gem? Ordering a capsule or serum that’s got a tapeworm in it, ingest that bad boy, and eat everything you want without gaining weight — or so they claimed. This diet somehow stuck around since the 1900s, and people still buy the things when they’re desperate to lose the extra pounds. Please don’t attempt to infect yourself with a worm in order to lose weight. Try the pizza or cabbage soup, but you don’t need a doctor to tell you tapeworm diets are a terrible idea.
In an effort to push President-elect Donald Trump into some serious consideration to the nationwide legalization of marijuana, one tenacious advocacy group hailing from District of Columbia plans to distribute free weed on Inauguration Day.
The D.C Cannabis Coalition (DCMJ) says it will rally at Dupont Circle prior to Trump being sworn in and then have its loyal followers march over to the National Mall, where the entire country will be watching the reality star become the new President of the United States.
“The main message is it’s time to legalize cannabis at the federal level,” Adam Eidinger, founder of DCMJ, told CBS affiliate WUSA.
The group explains that it will hand out exactly 4,200 complimentary cannabis gifts to event spectators, an act that is perfectly legal throughout the District with the passing of Initiative 71.
Although marijuana remains illegal under the confines of federal law, possession of up to two ounces is perfectly acceptable in DC, as is cultivation and the ability to transfer up to an ounce to family and friends.
The protest is being conducted as a middle finger, of sorts, to Trump’s selection for U.S. Attorney General, Jeff Sessions. Eidinger, the same as most marijuana advocates across the nation, is worried that the new head of the U.S Department of Justice that includes the DEA, will not do as his predecessors have done and honor the people’s will to legalize.
“We are looking at a guy who as recently as April said that they are going to enforce federal law on marijuana all over the country. He said marijuana is dangerous,” Eidinger said.
During Trump’s inauguration speech, 4 minutes and 20 seconds into it, to be specific, DCMJ wants to encourage everyone who takes advantage of its free weed offerings to light up – a action that technically goes against the grain of the local marijuana laws.
While public consumption of marijuana is a citable offense throughout the District, even simple possession of the herb on federal property can lead to arrest.
“We are going to tell them that if they smoke on federal property, they are risking arrest. But, that’s a form of civil disobedience,” Eidinger said. “I think it’s a good protest. If someone wants to do it, they are risking arrest, but it’s a protest and you know what, the National Mall is a place for protest.”
Organizers are adamant that the upcoming protest is not intended to be a blatant slam against Donald Trump. They want people from a variety of political stances visiting from every tiny crevasse of the nation to feel more than welcome to join in on the fun.
Weed is expensive. But even more than that, life is expensive. When was the last time you didn’t have a car payment or a ridiculous tech boom rent hike (our sympathies, west coasters!)? This inevitably sharpens your gaze in the grocery store: you keenly notice which items are on sale, which are bargains, which will taste good while stoned — all while lamenting a bottomed-out bank account. It’s the new year, which means, at least for the month of January, most of us are trying to stick to our resolution to be more budget conscious. With that, we present five easy “meals” that cost less than $3 to buy and prepare and will totally hit the spot.
Have any recipes or hacks of your own you’d like to share? Send them our way: consume@thefreshtoast.com
Welcome to your new obsession. Boil a cup of water in a frying pan, add chili flakes or Sriracha, maybe a little oil if you can spare it, garlic, and put the Top Ramen noodles in the boiling water. Flip them after a minute and then add the seasoning packet and a handful of fresh spinach. Once the noodles have absorbed all the water and the spinach is cooked down, put the contents in the center of a large tortilla, fold up and eat. Trying to imagine it without trying it is like trying to imagine heaven without ever seeing an angel.
Not the most nutritious snack, but super tasty and it costs about 75-cents. Coat your frying pan with oil and let it get hot. Then, simply, put a tortilla in the oil, turning it after about 30 seconds. Do this about five times then cut each into fourths. Powder cinnamon and sugar on top (or honey, if you prefer).
Not to give away all the secrets here, but this one is pretty bad-ass. Buy a pack of stir-fry frozen vegetables for less than $2. Combine this with the leftover stale tortilla chips in your cupboard, and you’ve got a great, not terribly unhealthy meal. Put some oil in your pan, some soy sauce, some chili flakes if you got ’em, and garlic. Turn the burner on high and add your frozen veggies. Stir them up until the frost is melted and the veggies are mostly cooked. Take a handful of tortilla chips, crush them up and sprinkle on top of the veggies. The chips soak up the sauce and they’re amazing. Add turkey to the pan if you got it, too.
Admittedly, you may need to make this before you get stoned – making homemade pasta is no easy task. But it is cheap and supremely satisfying. Make a pile of flour, drop an egg or two in the center, add a little water and knead for about an hour. Make the dough as flat as you can, cut into strips and submerge in boiling water. To keep it cheap, toss with a tablespoon of butter with some salt and pepper. Then, for the piece de resistance, fry an egg and place it on top. When you cut into the pasta, spread the yolk around the noodles for eye-opening joy.
Fry up two-to-four eggs in a pan. On a plate, place mini tortillas or a quartered large tortilla and on top add a bit of cheddar cheese and sliced purple cabbage for crunch. Try to keep the yolk whole so it can ooze in your mouth on the first bite. Sprinkle taco with salt, pepper and a shot of hot sauce, if you got it. Or, if you’re feeling saucy, take a can of veggie chili from your cupboard, heat on the stove top and drizzle over the tacos. Suddenly, for less than a few dollars, you’re south of the boarder with a fine, full gut.
This clip from the German filmmaker and screenwriter’s 2007 documentary Encounters at the End of the World is worth revisiting now, 10 years later. The year ahead is a blank slate of opportunity and harsh realities, much like the Antarctic that Herzog visits.
What could be more representative of that than a penguin carving his own path into oblivion?
In talking with a penguin expert, Herzog asks, “Is there such thing as insanity in penguins?” Not that they believe they are Napoleon Bonaparte or Lenin — but can one lose its mind when it gets sick of its colony? The expert admits he’s never seen a penguin go crazy, but they do get disoriented, ending up in places they shouldn’t be.
Herzog’s documentary team captures members of a colony journeying to the edge of the ice for food. Most go to the open ocean to eat. Some return to the colony. But one stand still, seemingly conflicted by the choice.
Eventually, this confused little penguin makes a bold choice. He heads straight for the mountains, 70 kilometers away. Even if he was walking toward the mountains as his goal, that’s very far for a penguin to waddle-travel. The interior of the continent is a good 5,000 kilometers ahead. “Certain death,” Herzog calls it.
Has this penguin gone insane, driven to madness by the routine of his life in the colony? Or is he ambitious, searching for something more out of life? Whether you read his journey as a death wish or an admirable attempt at greatness might say more about the viewer than the penguin.
Residents of the Chinese city of Ningbo reportedly received a special treat Wednesday morning when a large screen outside of a popular mall began playing pornography for at least five minutes.
The People’s Daily (via The Daily Mail) reports the incident happened after an property management worker who was testing the screen by connecting it to his personal computer walked away, accidentally leaving his computer on autoplay.
‘The content of the video was really…I am too shy to talk about it,” a security guard told the Qianjiang Evening News.
Yinzhou have reportedly confirmed the incident, and the shopping mall issued an apology, according to the Daily Mail. The unlucky porn-loving worker was brought in for questioning, though it’s unclear if he or she—their gender wasn’t released—will face charges.
Ningbo is a city of nearly 8 million people located in the Zhejiang Province. If this sounds at all familiar, it’s because you’ve written blogs on the internet for too long and published something similar over three years ago.
To watch a censored but still mildly NSFW version of the purported video, which was uploaded to Chinese social media site Weibo, click below.
