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Happy New Year: 7 Best Moments In Marijuana in 2016

Al Olson
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Happy New Year: 7 Best Moments In Marijuana in 2016

For many of us, 2016 was a year like no other in memory. Merriam-Webster announced last week that “surreal” was named its  Word of the Year. Surreal, indeed.

For the cannabis industry, however, the operative word was “progress.” Not everything was rosy for marijuana, but there were a lot of encouraging headlines made in 2016. Here are some of the year’s cannabis highlights:

1. Election Day: The voice of the people is heard loud and clear

History was made on Nov. 8 when eight states out of nine (the lone exception being Arizona) voted for some form of progressive marijuana reform. Nearly 20 percent of Americans now live in states where adults can enjoy cannabis recreationally without fear of arrest. California, Massachusetts, Nevada and Maine joined Colorado, Washington, Oregon, Alaska and Washington, D.C. with full adult legalization. Medical marijuana laws are now on the books in 28 states, giving more than 60 percent of Americans access to medical or adult-use cannabis.

On the night of the historic vote, Ethan Nadelmann, executive director of the Drug Policy Alliance, said: “This represents a monumental victory for the marijuana reform movement. With California’s leadership now, the end of marijuana prohibition nationally, and even internationally, is fast approaching.”

2. More research shows the promise of cannabis


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It was also a breakthrough year for medical research. One of the largest studies conducted was in New Zealand. A team of researchers from around the world published a 20-year study in JAMA Psychiatry that examined the effect of cannabis on about a dozen common health measures. The study concluded that cannabis had “no negative impact on a dozen other health factors, including lung function, systemic inflammation, BMI, or metabolic health.” The only adverse effect was on periodontal health.

Another promising study conducted by the National Institutes of Health showed “a continued long-term decline in the use of many illicit substances, including marijuana, among the nation’s teens.”

There were other research conducted in 2016 that showed cannabis as a promising substance for a variety of ailments. The DEA’s refusal to reschedule cannabis was a disappointment, but more studies will be conducted at the state level as more states legalize and regulate the herb.

3. Obama commutes more victims of drug war

President Barack Obama cut the sentences 1,176 citizens sentenced under the harsh drug laws of the Just-Say-No 1980s. Obama commuted more sentences in a single year than any president in history and more sentences than the last 11 presidents combined. That’s right. More than every President since Harry Truman … combined.

4. Pro athletes come out of the cannabis closet


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For years, a growing number of professional athletes have rejected opioids and opted for medical marijuana to treat pain and inflammation. NBA Coach Steve Kerr of the Golden State Warriors made this bold statement after admitting he used the herb to help with post-operative back pain: “Medicinal marijuana is much better for you than the opioids that are prescribed. You realize that the stuff that is invented by mankind is horrible for us. Medicinal marijuana is nothing compared to that, and yet the perception is the pills are fine, so we’ll give those to the athletes.”

The athlete chorus of support is getting louder. Current and former NFL players are coming out in support of loosening the league’s drug-testing program.

As the Drug Policy Alliance points out:

The NFL is also dealing with a concussion crisis — many players are retiring early and some people are choosing not to play football at all because of the consequences that can come later in life after having too many head injuries. The non-psychoactive part of marijuana known as CBD has the potential to treat and even prevent concussions. The NFL should set an example by investing in marijuana research to see how it can help improve the health of its players.

5. Luxury brands become part of the landscape

https://www.instagram.com/p/BOQDdVFhT9R/

As the cannabis industry matures, the market has expanded to include more luxury brands than ever before. Sure, you can still go old-school and purchase lower priced bud and rolling papers. But a new, high-end clientele has entered the market and companies are discovering a whole new sector.  From pricey vaporizers to fine edibles, marijuana is getting a bit of a sophisticated makeover as it becomes more mainstream.

Even retailers are getting in on the luxury game.

6. Polling keeps showing support

It doesn’t matter if the polling is done by Gallup or Harris or Pew or any of the other survey outfits; marijuana has never enjoyed the popularity and support it does today.

In October, the Pew Research Center survey showed widespread support for sensible cannabis laws in nearly every demographic.  Nearly six out of every 1o Americans (57 percent) is in support of full legalization.

“It’s more clear than ever which way the country is moving on marijuana,” said Tom Angell, chairman of Marijuana Majority.

7. Other nations jump aboard the cannabis train


via GIPHY

It’s not just the United States that is changing history. Nations around the globe are reviewing their arcane cannabis laws.

To the north of us, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau promised to legalize recreational cannabis use and sales. To our south, Mexico announced may relax its medical marijuana laws and will even consider legalization.

Israel continues to lead the way in cannabis research.

What will 2017 hold?

Clearly 2016 was, on balance, a breakthrough year for cannabis. As 2017 approaches, there may be some roadblocks along the way, but momentum is on the side of progressive legislation. Here are some prediction for the coming year.

What Is The Future Of Weed? 6 Predictions For 2017

Mike Adams
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What Is The Future Of Weed? 6 Predictions For 2017

It is distinctly possible that 2016 will go down in history as one of the biggest years ever experienced in the marijuana legalization movement. Not only did the American people offer a positive response to weed in the November election, but some of the latest market analysis shows the nationwide cannabis industry is poised to become a $23 billion dollar operation within the next three years.

Of course, with the good comes the bad, and there is certainly the possibility of some unsettling news for legal weed with the coming of the Trump Administration. The entire legal industry is on the verge of soiling its drawers right now over the possibility of Attorney General nominee Jeff Sessions ripping the Cole Memorandum to shreds.

But, according to Forbes, there are six events most likely to happen with respect to legal weed in 2017 and a shutdown isn’t one of them.

Los Angeles Assumes the Title of Marijuana Capital


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Industry insiders suggest that Los Angeles is destined to become the “Marijuana Capital” of the United States, since its medical marijuana market alone is already worth almost $1 billion – putting it in a position to put Colorado’s cannabis market to shame. An ordinance is expected to be approved in the coming year that will provide more opportunities for the recreational sector to flourish, something that investors are aggressively monitoring, according to Adam Beirman, CEO of the marijuana investment company Med Men.

Professional Sports Will Embrace Medical Marijuana


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With more influential leaders of professional sports coming forward in support of marijuana as an alternative to dangerous prescription drugs, Bierman also believes that 2017 will give way to one of the leagues amending its drug policy in a manner that allows players to use medical marijuana.

Marijuana Will Become the Subject Of A Prime Time Network Show


via GIPHY
There were more marijuana-themed television shows given the green light for production in 2016 than ever before, which may make it easier for some of the major networks to head in this direction in the coming year. In fact, Chuck Lorre, creator of “Two and Half Men” and “The Big Bang Theory,” is expected to unleash a pot comedy on Netflix in 2017. There is some belief that the success of these types of series, especially those produced by major players, could give way to the television industry setting aside some time slots for pot-related shows.

Synthetic CBD Could Stir More Interest

According to Seth Yakatan, CEO of biotech company Kalytera, “With AG Sessions and the DEA’s clarification that plant derived CBD isn’t legal federally, there will likely be interest in synthetic forms of CBD, which is what Kalytera has been testing the efficacy of for a few years.” However, it should be noted that these types of synthetic hemp products, which are legally imported into United States, do not hold the same power as the CBD medicine currently restricted under the Controlled Substances Act.

Expansion Of The “Craft Marijuana” Market


via GIPHY
Industry players believe the cannabis market will follow in the footsteps of the alcohol industry in 2017 by creating more pot products with “organic features.” Next year “will be the year of the craft bud,” Forbes suggests.

Second Chance For Cannabis Fails

Since pesticides were a heavy issue for the cannabis industry in 2016, there is now a push for lawmakers to give cannabis crops that fail pesticide testing a second chance in the marketplace. The Cannabis Business Alliance hopes to establish new protocol that would allow rejected harvests to be made into products that are not considered a health hazard.

Company That Makes Deadly Painkiller Donates $500,000 To Keep Marijuana Illegal

Taylor Berman
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Company That Makes Deadly Painkiller Donates $500,000 To Keep Marijuana Illegal

Insys Therapeutics, a company that manufactures synthetic cannabis and the deadly painkiller Subsys fentanyl, has donated $500,000 to keep marijuana illegal in Arizona, according to campaign finance reports obtained by the Phoenix New Times.

The company makes Syndros, which was recently approved by the FDA for treatment of AIDS and cancer patients’ symptoms and relies on a synthetic version of THC, the main psychoactive ingredient in cannabis. The drug is expected to launch soon, though it’s still awaiting DEA approval.

It might seem obvious why a company that hopes to profit from selling fake cannabinoids would work to keep the real stuff illegal, but Insys insists it’s just looking out for the kids.

“[Insys] has joined a broad alliance of elected officials, health care organizations and business leaders in opposing Prop. 205 because it fails to protect the safety of Arizona’s citizens, and particularly its children,” the company said in a statement to The Arizona Republic: “Insys firmly believes in the potential clinical benefits of cannabinoids. Like many in the healthcare community, we hope that patients will have the opportunity to benefit from these potential products once clinical trials demonstrate their safe and effective use.”

As if that statement weren’t ludicrous enough on its own, remember the company also makes and markets fentanyl, the powerful painkiller linked to thousands of deadly overdoses. What’s more is the Insys has been accused of illegal marketing. From the Washington Post:

The company is facing state and federal investigations, as well as a shareholder lawsuit, over allegations that it improperly marketed the drug to doctors in an effort to boost sales.

In February, a former sales rep for the company pleaded guilty to fraud charges stemming from a kickback scheme involving Subsys fentanyl purchases. Last month, two former employees pleaded not guilty after being arrested for allegedly participating in a similar fentanyl kickback scheme.

As Tom Angell of the pro-marijuana group Marijuana Majority put it in a statement: “It’s difficult to understand how people who profit from selling a drug like fentanyl can keep a straight face while arguing that marijuana is just too dangerous to legalize.”

And as the Post notes, the donation from Insys represents one-third of the total amount raised by Arizonans for Responsible Drug Policy, the group opposing legalization; by comparison, The Campaign to Regulate Marijuana Like Alcohol has raised $3 million.

According to a recent Arizona Republic poll, 50 percent of the registered voters surveyed favor legalization, 40 percent oppose it, and 10 percent remain undecided.

5 Obscure Horror Movies To Get You In the Mood For Halloween

Jeremy Kasten
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5 Obscure Horror Movies To Get You In the Mood For Halloween

Horror movies aren’t just cheap entertainment anymore. There’s a scary pirate’s treasure trove of indie and obscure horror flicks that weren’t made to pander to an audience, and are surprising, artful, and witty. Here are five movies you likely won’t see on other lists and should be watched as soon as the popcorn is ready. Oh, and just to be clear: they are generally more fun when paired with a few puffs of smoke. That much, at least, is still true.

Alucarda

The world’s got enough little-girls-in-the-throes-of-Satanic-influence films–but none are as unpredictable, nutso or sexy as Alucarda. Probably due to the lack of formality in the Mexican film business in the early 70’s this movie is joyfully all over the place. It bounces deliriously from the vibe of an acid-drenched stage production to disturbingly honest performances as events seem to play out in real life. It has some of the most inspired costumes and production design. Ever.

Brain Dead

What ever happened to Bud Cort, Harold from Harold and Maude, you might ask… apparently he became creepier, funnier and was cast in this marvel. The mind-bending script by the architect of TheTwilight Zone series, Charles Beaumont, sat unproduced in Roger Corman’s files for years after his death. Then this happened. The film makes giddy fever-dream sense, features cameos galore (young Kyle Gass!) and has more Lovecraft references than just about any other.

The Helstrom Chronicle

Imagine Nation Geographic hired a brilliant and psychedelic-minded filmmaker to make a bug doc. Now imagine the filmmaker took their money and made an apocalyptic and quasi-faked movie showing bugs will take over our world.

Finally, imagine his outrageously talented buddy created some of the most terrifying soundscapes for the audio track. The cinematography is mind-blowing, but watch this one loud.

Cover Art © Wolper Pictures
Cover Art © Wolper Pictures

God Told Me To 

Larry Cohen makes each of his movies like a delirious and hyper first attempt with nary an understanding of how movies are made or structured. And that is what makes each thrilling. No where is that clearer than with this piece of insanity–wherein a 70’s New York cop struggles with divorce, his co-workers, and a rash of mass-killings.

This cop is always first on the scene just as the killer utters the title as their mea culpa. Spaceships, the anti-christ and a cop killed by a sniper in a chase and shootout at the New York St. Patrick’s Day Parade played by a then-unknown Andy Kaufman. This movie is bananas.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4HoNIzbcA4

Targets

In 1968 B-Movie king Roger Corman told then Esquire writer Peter Bogdanovich he could make a movie—provided he casts an aging Boris Karloff and stayed under budget. The result is Targets, a politically charged film in which a washed-up horror actor makes an appearance at a drive-in (screening one of his and Jack Nicholson’s early Corman films) while a deranged Viet Nam vet unleashes gunfire upon the trapped audience. The film is a smart, energetic and looks at what a monster really is. Karloff actually acts, the script was punched up by Sam Fuller, and Bogdanovitch plays the young writer/director. It’s tense and sharp—no one has ever made another movie like it.

 

The Only Cultural Top 2016 List You Will Ever Need

Brendan Bures
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The Only Cultural Top 2016 List You Will Ever Need

Lists organize chaos, but only when used properly. Constructed incorrectly, lists cause a dreadful reaction: crippling anxiety capable of reducing you into a fetal position demanding why the universe makes you, small ineffective you, responsible for these tiny, meaningless tasks.

This is why I don’t write to-do lists.

But within the safety net of popular culture, lists equal fun. The 10 best books, movies, TV shows, albums, etc. of 2016. They help us organize the year that was, at least within realms we still lie about possessing some control over. It is a trick, though. We don’t control much anymore, if 2016 indicates anything. No one has offered a worthy explanation to what the hell happened this year. And I don’t think that answer’s coming anytime soon.

My own pursuit of conclusion explains my heedless rush into year-end lists around the holidays. They are digestible, easy to consume within the airport terminals and Kafkaesque line-waiting terrors awaiting most of us this time of year. (Thanks for kind of protecting us TSA, I guess.) They’re usually fun to see if your favorite movie or record align with the critical consensus. It means, for at least the moment, you’re tapped into the frequency of cool or hip or [fire emoji].

Maybe I am finally reading between the lines, or something has changed, but these lists aren’t doing it for me this year. They all seem so dull and shallow, and in a way they weren’t previously. They all read like their main goal is to pander: to critics, to the *woke* crowd, to industry folks. Explanations of their excellence heavily lean into representative politics and reduces to “it’s just important this thing exists.” It turns the record or TV show into a symbol first, then discusses other people reacting to that symbol. Maybe it’s all a function of our social media era: everything and everyone’s a stand-in for whatever others want them to be.

Anyways, that’s why instead I’m offering a solution. To scratch the itch, I’m writing every unorthodox list I can think up. No top 10 TV shows, or songs, or whatever. It’s hyper personal and specific because that’s what year-end lists should be. I guess unless you’re, like, a critic for the NYTimes or whatever. Since we’re definitively not that, this will have to do.

Songs I wish played at every social gathering

  • Big Baby D.R.A.M. ft. Lil Yachty “Broccoli”
  • Chance the Rapper ft. 2 Chainz, Lil Wayne “No Problems”
  • Rae Sremmurd “Black Beatles”
  • Beyoncé “Sorry” (if only to watch Beyhive members slightly embarrass themselves) (don’t @ me, Beyhive) (please)
  • Kanye West “Father Stretch My Hands Pt. 1”
  • Anderson .Paak ft. ScHoolboy Q “Am I Wrong?”
  • ScHoolboy Q ft. Kanye “THat Part” (but only Kanye’s “Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay” that part)
  • Future ft. The Weeknd “Low Life”
  • Joey Purp ft. Chance “Girls @”
  • Lil Uzi Vert “Do What I Want”
  • Desiigner “Panda” (but only a minute, because then I’m too tired after that)
  • Rihanna ft. Drake “Work”

Records I should’ve listened to more

  • ScHoolboy Q, Blank Face LP
  • Isiah Rashad, The Sun’s Tirade
  • Mitsky, Puberty 2
  • David Bowie, Blackstar
  • Frank Ocean, Endless (please just fix the stream, Apple)
  • Nx Worries, Yes Lawd!
  • Kevin Abstract, American Boyfriend

Cultural *moments* I loved skipping

  • Stranger Things
  • Westworld
  • Lemonade (watched it a few months later; now obsessed)
  • Drake’s silly-ass Kid Cudi and Pusha T diss
  • The end of the Saint Pablo tour
  • Yeezy fashion show [insert whatever number here]
  • Hamilton (mostly I’m just salty like most because I haven’t seen it)
  • Any Lena Dunham-related drama
  • J. Cole
  • J. Cole (seriously)

Cultural *moments* I loved participating in

  • Dave Chappelle and A Tribe Called Quest hosting SNL
  • Kanye’s Life of Pablo rollout
  • Kanye’s Twitter rant vs. Wiz Khalifa (Wiz was right, but who cares?)
  • All things Golden State and Steph Curry
  • LeBron James literally blocking all things Golden State and Steph Curry
  • DJ Khaled’s Snapchat Rise (stopped watching now, dude played himself)
  • Atlanta
  • The Lobster
  • HODOR! HODOR! HODOR!
  • Moonlight
  • Frank Ocean (100% worth)
  • Pokémon Go (over it now, though)

Concerts I attended, ranked

  • Kaytranada, 99.9 percent tour
  • Chance, Magnificent Coloring World
  • Kanye, Saint Pablo
  • Mac Miller, Divine Feminine (had tickets, but didn’t go; long story but it involves my apartment complex towing my car and waiting in impound lots while Mac played)

Fresh things I enjoyed a lot, but okay with only experiencing once

  • Arrival
  • Beyoncé’s Lemoande film
  • O.J. Made In America
  • Sausage Party
  • White Girl

Things I ended up liking despite myself

Favorite albums, not ranked

  • Kanye West, Life of Pablo
  • Rihanna, ANTI (she doesn’t care, but I do)
  • Anderson .Paak, Malibu
  • Francis and the Lights, Farewell, Starlite!
  • Chance the Rapper, Coloring Book
  • Chance & Jeremih, Merry Christmas Lil’ Mama (let me overrate things)
  • Kid Cudi, Passion, Pain, and Demon Slayin’
  • Childish Gambino, Awaken, My Love! (weird to watch music fans finally embrace him, and Childish fans slightly turn away)
  • A Tribe Called Quest, We Got It From Here…Thank You 4 Your Service
  • Solange, A Seat At The Table
  • Frank Ocean, Blonde
  • The Weeknd, Starboy
  • Meek Mill, DC4 (one too many beef puns, but he earned them)

Personal ultralight beams

Way Out Munchies: What’s Your Favorite Weird Food Trend Of 2016?

Jillian Peterson
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Way Out Munchies: What’s Your Favorite Weird Food Trend Of 2016?

For just about every month of 2016, there’s been some kind of crazy novelty food introduction. And while the trends so far haven’t been super hairbrane, they’ve certainly caught our attention. Unlike most years prior, these foods are actually…edible. Nothing fried, nothing coated in a peculiar substance, and nothing that looks like it’s just been culled from dumpster bits. Here are a few of the aforementioned oddballs. We can’t wait to see what 2017 brings! And don’t forget to vote for your favorite below.

Coffe Cones

https://www.instagram.com/p/BIzXIQxja-R/

https://www.instagram.com/p/BGbd5Jppooi/

A small latte served inside a chocolate-dipped waffle cone. Not sure what took this obvious combination so long to trend. It’s basically a mocha in an edible cup. Recycling at its best.

Colored hamburger buns

https://www.instagram.com/p/-zkEhTGCwU/

https://www.instagram.com/p/BK2hcW2BjN9/

https://www.instagram.com/p/BK2u9hZAJpR/

X-Men, Ghostbusters, Gene Wilder and just plain dismal marketing budgets have inspired an array of burger bun colors. Eye-catching? Totally. Appetizing? Not so much.

Banana Milk Coffee

https://www.instagram.com/p/BKvOSTZAgnP/

Blend a ripe banana with some milk, simple syrup and and coffee. Voilà! Fall’s new obsession is born. People are already praising it as the next Pumpkin Spice Latte. Not sure that’s a compliment, but it’s something!

Fairy Bread

https://www.instagram.com/p/BGICYpiiBQw/

Crustless white bread, butter and a ton of sprinkles. It’s every 6-year old’s dream. This Australian snack has migrated to the U.S. Munchies wrote an entire article on its origin. Did you know in Australia, they refer to sprinkles as “hundreds and thousands?”

Rainbow Colored Everything

https://www.instagram.com/p/BKwqhmoBto1/?tagged=rainbowfood

https://www.instagram.com/p/BKqQUQ-AK6D

https://www.instagram.com/p/BKXEPyEhdKw

One of every color makes everything seem…happy. Even bagels. Let’s face it. The rainbow trend started because it’s social media clickbait. Tell me you won’t get a ton of “likes” by posting a rainbow-colored food item. It’s impossible.

Savory Yogurt

https://www.instagram.com/p/BKqOzRdByvW/

https://www.instagram.com/p/BKOMEnehBqt/

Even if you don’t eat it straight out of the packaging (not sure why you would), savory yogurt makes a good dip, sauce and…well, that’s about it. Right?

Ramen Ice Cream

https://www.instagram.com/p/BM7aY0Hg0_z/

It’s not ice cream, nor is it ramen. Then WTF is it, you ask? It’s jelly noodles covered in a flavored sauce of your choice (peach, honey, brown sugar). And it sits on a bed of crushed ice covered in evaporated milk and mixed fruit.

Cheese Lattes

https://www.instagram.com/p/BL0Uf3xD_rh/
A savory coffee beverage made of milk, honey and yes, cheese. The concept seemingly has grown popular enough in Korea to reach across the Yellow Sea to China, where Starbucks has released it’s own “Lemon Cheese” variant on the idea. We say, one year is good enough for this trend.

Rolled Ice Cream

https://www.instagram.com/p/BOgP29egj_R

Asian sweets took a new turn this year with Thai rolled ice cream. The dessert, which was introduced in the U.S. last year picked up steam, mainly for it’s novelty and Instagramability. The rolls are created by slathering ice cream base on a cold flat surface, and then scraping up the ice cream before it totally freezes and placing it in a cup. It’s like eating bubble gum tape, but way more edible.

[poll id=”12″]

 

Pole Vaulter Snags His Bulge Causing Loss

Sarah Johns
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Pole Vaulter Snags His Bulge Causing Loss

In a focus on sports, a pole vaulter snags his bulge causing loss! Japanese pole vaulter Hiroki Ogita’s attempt to clear a height of 5.3 meters (17.3 feet) in group A of Monday night’s competition was foiled by an unlikely object: his junk.

Watch it HERE.

http://imgur.com/SOnDtsL

As you can see in the GIF above, Ogita’s legs come into contact with the bar first, but it was his dick that really pulled it down. While he managed to keep his junk in check and clear the height on his second attempt, he couldn’t top 5.45 meters (17.8 feet) on his last jump, which put him in 21st place and out of the Olympics.

Ogita may have missed out on a gold medal, but he joins an illustrious group of Olympians who gained fame thanks to their unfortunately positioned dongs.

RELATED: Does Marijuana Lower Male Testosterone

Hiroki Ogita, wasborn 30 December 1987) is a Japanese athlete who specialises in the pole vault. He competed in the pole vault event at the 2015 World Championships in Athletics in Beijing, China. He finished 21st in the pole vault event at the 2016 Summer Olympics in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.

The pole vault at the Summer Olympics is grouped among the four track and field jumping events held at the multi-sport event. The men’s pole vault has been present on the Olympic athletics program since the first Summer Olympics in 1896. The women’s event is one of the latest additions to the program, first being contested at the 2000 Summer Olympics – along with the addition of the hammer throw, this brought the women’s field event program to parity with the men’s.

In the future, athletes need to figure their undergarment situation to avoid pole vaulter snags his bulge causing loss.

Harry Potter’s Not Throwing Away His Shot In This Rad Hamilton Mashup

Sam Jones
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Harry Potter’s Not Throwing Away His Shot In This Rad Hamilton Mashup

What happens when you combine two of the splashiest scripts and a whole lot of rabid fans? This Harry Potter Hamilton intro, written by Hollis Andrews.

https://twitter.com/hamiltonssquad/status/759882208102408196

If you listen to the Hamilton soundtrack as if Alexander were Harry, it kind of, almost, totally works. For the uninitiated, Hamilton is about one man’s rise from a poor orphan childhood, through the ranks of his advantaged peers during a dramatic revolution and upheaval of power, to earn a legacy as an influential — albeit controversial — leader of people. The Harry Potter series is… also that.

https://twitter.com/hamiltonssquad/status/759884903735406593

Things go great for Harry and Hamilton until they both face a formidable foe who shall not be named:

https://twitter.com/hamiltonssquad/status/759887981494665216

I don’t know if we can call the King of England a “dark lord” but sure, why not. This 12-strong tweetstorm ended on the pivotal question:

https://twitter.com/hamiltonssquad/status/759890671444434946

How Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson Can Save Hollywood

Brendan Bures
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How Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson Can Save Hollywood

Reanimating existing intellectual property seems to be Hollywood’s main play in recent years. And no person is better suited for these times than Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. He can save all the franchises. He will save the classics and the untouchables and the sequels. All of them. That’s just what great men do. And it explains The Rock’s addition to the Fast and Furious franchise, G.I. Joe, Baywatch, and now Jumanji. No brainers, all of them. The world isn’t full of Rocks (don’t laugh), and if anyone approaches you to add The Rock, you just do it.

http://www.hulu.com/watch/770969

Currently The Rock is set to star in 20 upcoming films. But why stop there? Life is short and Hollywood clearly needs as much Franchise Viagra as possible. We’re here to help. Below, we present eight franchises The Rock should consider save. But the truth is, it could’ve been any eight movies. We encourage you to write your own thinkpiece with your own eight movies. These are just the ones we chose.

Point Break

But they just remade that film, you say? True. Another question: If a movie flops domestically but is saved by international markets, do you really care? That’s right, you don’t. Last year’s Point Break underscored China’s new influence on Hollywood—the movie had its world premiere in China three weeks before its domestic release, practically unheard of for a studio film—which wouldn’t matter if the movie wasn’t the film equivalent of biting into a still-frozen Hot Pocket. You’re sad to find yourself there in the first place, choosing to eat a Hot Pocket, but then it chips your tooth and you carry that shame with you for the rest of your life. Exactly the way American moviegoers felt walking out of the Point Break remake (I know, I administered like 12 Gallup polls).

Why the rant? Because it didn’t have to be this way! The majesty of Point Break lies in the bromance between Keanu Reeves and Patrick Swayze. Johnny Utah jumps out of planes, gets in fights, travels across the world because he can’t resist the allure of Bodhi. Who could inspire such devotion due to overwhelming aura? The Rock. The stunts would make sense and so would the charm. He can switch between campy and tough guy, essential to playing the character. No matter what, it’d be fun, something sorely lacking in the *dark* remake.

Mrs. Doubtfire

Some would like to forget The Rock once starred in a movie called Tooth Fairy as an actual Tooth Fairy. These are the kind of people who “have lives.” Losers. I’ll admit trying to pick your favorite Rock quality is like choosing your favorite child: it’s easy, but it doesn’t mean you love the rest any less. The Rock possesses zero shame or insecurity in his body (possibly related: he also doesn’t have any fat on his body; something to look into).

Neither did Robin Williams in his roles. To use industry parlance, “went for it.” There isn’t a role The Rock doesn’t commit less than 100 percent to and that’s the beauty of every Rock movie: he so believes every movie he makes will be good, if not great. They aren’t, but that’s irrelevant. He tries. A man disguised as a housekeeper to spend more time with his kids needs to really, really care and really, really try. The Rock does both all the time. The muscles might be tough to explain, but the love exhibited would not.

Wild, Wild West

You know what The Rock has somehow never starred in? A western. You know what The Rock would—okay, I really want to see Dwayne Johnson in a western. A remake itself, Wild, Wild West stops working precisely the moment you realize Will Smith is too big a star for the movie. Crazy thing: this happens immediately.

Don’t confuse it: The Rock is a star, he’s a leading man. But his persona never overwhelms a narrative; he never needs to “do a cool thing” like Will Smith. He can be in on a joke without needing to be the one making it. What I’m saying is simple: If you don’t wish to see The Rock in a cowboy hat destroying steampunk machine-monsters while saying cheesy one-liners, I don’t know what world you wish to inhabit.

The Beastmaster

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7h7frRoAPk

This is so obvious I’m high-key ashamed it wasn’t made five years ago. “Hello, Hollywood? Brendan here. Do you like making money? Because I’m literally printing it for you with these ideas.”

How would you describe The Rock to a friend who’s never heard of him? (Also, maybe choose better friends.) How about this: “Born with the strength of a black tiger, the courage of an eagle, the power that made him more than any hero, more than any lover. He was lord and master over all beasts.” Who am I describing: The Rock or the Beastmaster? Trick question. Answer’s both and why hasn’t this movie been made?

Die Hard

I love you, Bruce Willis, but this list only has room for one bald-headed muscle dude and that’s my man, Franchise Viagra. The Die Hard franchise ceased working when Bruce Willis began believing too heartily in the “Bruce Willis” brand (the obvious tentpole hovering around Cop Out and hating Kevin Smith). As high-stakes and mythic the Die Hard franchise can be, it delighted and captivated audiences because Bruce Willis (I swear to God) was funny. He had jokes, self-deprecating ones, too.

No one currently acting mixes the tongue-in-cheek with I’ll-kick-your-ass-whenever-I-want look like The Rock. My goodness, in Furious 7 he uttered “Daddy’s gotta go to work” and flexed his bicep so hard he broke the cast he was wearing. That was a real thing that happened. It’s akin to John McClane screaming “Yippee Ki Yay!” It’s fun and funny and somehow believable to that character, something the world needs more of.

Rush Hour

Yes, they rebooted the Rush Hour franchise on TV. (At least that’s what I’m told. Raise your hand if you know 10 people who’ve seen one episode.) And yes, its tension and humor derives from a fish-out-of-water Jackie Chan paired with Chris Tucker. Now, who’s the Chris Tucker of 2016? (Letting you think…letting you think…letting you think.) It’s Kevin Hart! The Rock and Kevin Hart just work together. But kinda like crunchy peanut butter and jelly. Anyway, is it lunch time yet?

Escape from New York

This one also lines up behind the scenes. If you hadn’t heard, The Rock was just cast to star in the remake of John Carpenter’s Big Trouble in Little China. Word is they’d like to reboot the Escape series, also directed by Carpenter, but no cast has been set as of now.

Then again, who knows what “behind the scenes” means in today’s wacko media world? (The answer: James Franco, probs.) Insert The Rock into any role and let him cook; he might actually serve the film better if The Rock didn’t star in the Snake Plissken role (although that character’s name sounds like it was crafted in a Dwayne Johnson character name generator). I’d settle for Slag, the Hulk character Snake must defeat to escape and continue on to save the President. (Considering.) Nope, that’s the perfect role for The Rock. Buy him a couple tubs of baby oil and a perspiration spray bottle ala Fast Five, and everyone will love this movie, I promise.

Gremlins

Whoa whoa whoa. Put down the keyboard please. I know how upset you think you are. Gremlins is radioactive untouchable in some eyes (apparently) but hear me out. The true tension of gremlins as creatures centers on how something so tiny and adorable could turn so scary and violent. They’re still (mostly) small when they become evil, but their multiplying numbers provides the real fear. An army of Ferbies disturbs me more than, say, a DC Comics villain like Darkseid or Doomsday. I’ll fight the one world-destroying big dude any day than those creepy buggers.

This is all to say no mental image delights my brain nodes more than The Rock punching and swinging jackhammers at gremlins. Another situation where he’s better utilized in a minor character role than the main guy; his golden aura might be too much for a campy movie like this. Just one football kick, that’s all I’m asking. Like Jack Black punting Baxter over the bridge in Anchorman, The Rock swinging those steel pistons he calls legs at gremlins is my fantasy. Tell me you don’t dream of that at night. Tell me The Rock couldn’t save every franchise on this list and so many more. You can’t. He is a Norse God sent to entertain us and we should preserve him for all of eternity. Oh, wait, that just gave me the greatest idea yet—carbonite frozen Rock!

2016: Historic Victories, Devastating Setbacks In Fight Against Drug War

Drug Policy Alliance
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2016: Historic Victories, Devastating Setbacks In Fight Against Drug War

For the last seven years I have written an end-of-year piece about the top stories of the year in the fight to end our disastrous war on drugs.

2016 has been a strange, difficult year.  We’ve accomplished more historic victories than ever — but they’re now overshadowed by the election of Donald Trump and the despair he is primed to wreak on our most vulnerable communities.

Here’s my take on this year’s most important victories and its most enormous setbacks.

The Good

Marijuana Legalization Wins Big on Election Night

This Election Day was a watershed moment for the movement to end marijuana prohibition. Overall, legalization initiatives prevailed in four out of five states, and medical marijuana initiatives prevailed in all four states this year.

California, Nevada, Massachusetts and Maine all rejected prohibition and opted to tax and regulate marijuana instead. Florida, Arkansas, North Dakota and Montana also voted to legalize marijuana for medical use, bringing the total to 28 states and Washington D.C.  Only Arizona, which was considering recreational marijuana legalization, voted down their measure.

The most significant win came out of California. California is the new gold standard of marijuana legalization laws thanks to its important criminal justice reforms and reparative justice provisions. It ends the wasteful expenditure of tens of millions of taxpayer dollars every year in California on the arrest, prosecution and incarceration of nonviolent, marijuana-only offenses. It also reduces barriers to entry to the legal market, and drives hundreds of millions of dollars in investments to low-income communities that have been most negatively impacted by the drug war.

President Obama Goes Big with Clemencies and Pardons for Nonviolent Drug Offenders

President Obama granted 78 pardons and 153 commutations on Monday — a single-day record for the use of presidential clemency power. After a slow start in his first term, the President has now commuted the sentences of 1,176 individuals, mostly people with nonviolent drug offenses, more than every President since Harry Truman combined. While the clemencies are incredibly important and helping individuals come home, there are tens of thousands of others who should have their sentences reduced as well. In 2016 we saw bi-partisan support for reforming our drug laws and reducing mass incarceration. There was a hopeful op-ed in the New York Times this week that argued that criminal justice reform may still happen in 2017.

Harm Reduction and Overdose Prevention Hit the Mainstream

Many of the harm reduction practices that advocates have pushed for years are starting to be embraced by the Drug Czar and elected officials in both red and blue states. Many states have passed laws to expand access to naloxone, the overdose reversal drug. And many states have passed “911 Good Samaritan” laws that allow people who are witnessing an overdose to call 911 for help without fear of arrest. Politicians are calling for increased treatment funding, while obstacles to opioid replacement therapies like methadone are being removed.

There is even important momentum for supervised injection facilities (SIFs) in the United States. Sixty-six cities in nine countries have supervised injection facilities where people can inject their drugs in a clean, safe place with medical professionals on hand – yet to date there are none in the United States. There is overwhelming evidence that SIFs are effective in reducing new HIV infections, overdose deaths and public nuisance – and that they do not increase drug use or criminal activity.

In February, both Maryland Delegate Dan Morhaim and Ithaca Mayor Svante Myrick made national news when they came out strong for SIFs. Momentum is also building in Seattle, San Francisco and New York City, where elected officials are considering SIFs. Even USA Today put out a strong editorial in support of supervised injection facilities.

The Bad and Ugly

The Looming Nightmare of Donald Trump and His Administration

Despite historic wins for marijuana legalization on election night, there was no joy to be felt as it became clear that Donald Trump was going to shock the world and become president.

There’s little doubt that Trump is primed to launch a new war on drugs that could be worse than anything we’ve seen before. Trump ran hard as a “tough on crime” candidate, who believes in “stop and frisk” policing, supports private prisons, and called for a wall along the border to keep out “drug smuggling” Mexicans. He also made news recently when he expressed support for Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte’s campaign of mass murder of poor people suspected of using or selling drugs.

The people he has chosen to run his administration are a nightmare, starting with Senator Jeff Sessions as his attorney general. Jeff Sessions is a drug war extremist with a career-long history of racist comments and actions. In recent years, Sessions played a critical role in blocking efforts to reform sentencing policy, asset forfeiture, and marijuana laws.

Drug Users in The Philippines Are Being “Slaughtered Like Animals”

For the past six months, the Philippines has waged a brutal, bloody war against people who are suspected of using or selling drugs. This war is being led by Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte – since assuming office in July, he has urged police and citizens alike to execute people who they deem to be using or selling drugs.

To date, over 6,000 people have been executed in this campaign. A further 840,000 people who use drugs have turned themselves in to authorities. A recent New York Times photo essay on the Philippines highlights the vicious killings.

More Americans Are Now Dying from Overdose Than From Car Crashes or Guns

The New York Times ran a front page story earlier this year documenting the explosion of overdose deaths throughout the country. 47,000 Americans died from an overdose in 2014 – more than from either car crashes or guns. Despite all of our progress, we are seeing more unacceptable death and suffering from addiction, touching virtually every family and community in the United States.

We are at a paradoxical moment in our fight against the war on drugs. On one hand, marijuana legalization is moving forward rapidly, there is bi-partisan support for reducing the amount of people behind bars and promoting health-based approaches to reducing the harms of drugs. And on the other hand, we have a new President and administration that is likely to ramp up our disastrous war, we have unprecedented killings in the Philippines, and an alarming overdose crisis that is devastating families and communities around the country.

The pain and misery from the drug war is as great as ever. We need to step up our efforts, continue to partner with allies, and win hearts and minds. The casualties from the catastrophic war on drugs continue to mount daily.

It is time to find an exit strategy from this unwinnable war. If the people lead, the leaders will follow.

Tony Newman is the director of media relations at the Drug Policy Alliance (www.drugpolicy.org)

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