Are you still scrambling to find the perfect present for someone special this holiday season? Time is running out and I’m sure you are feeling the pressure.
But chill. Head to your friendly neighborhood bookstore (or your favorite online retailer) and buy a book on cannabis. After all, eight states (plus Washington D.C.) have legalized the herb and 29 states n0w have a medical marijuana program. It’s topical. It’s educational. And it is a subject worth learning more about.
Here Are 11 Books That Would Make Excellent Gifts:
Author John Hudak’s short (224 pages) book was published in October and is an up-to-date examination of how cannabis emerged from the shadows of counterculture and illegality to become a mainstream issue. It is an excellent crash course on how the U.S. government demonized the medicinal herb.
Joe Dolce weaves a fascinating tale of the twisted history — and even more twisted pretzel logic — behind marijuana prohibition. It is a tale that, depending on the chapter, will make you laugh, think or pull your hair out in frustration. Dolce’s book takes you on a wild ride as he discovers the truth behind the government’s bizarre drug policies.
Bruce Barcott’s book is a beautiful read — he is a fine writer and diligent reporter. Barcott provides an insider’s view into the business of cannabis. Barcott also peeks into the future of the industry and offers up some hope for what lays ahead.
Steve DeAngelo, a longtime activist and cannabis entrepreneur, offers up a deeply personal book on cannabis. DeAngelo’s manifesto calls for Americans to reframe the debate over marijuana and delivers a compelling case for a brighter future.
Julie Holland’s compilation of essays, stories and studies is six years old, but it still resonates today. Dr. Andrew Weil, who contributed to the book, said it best: The Pot Book “takes a candid look at all things cannabis from all angles: history, scientific research, medicinal use, our nation’s drug policy, myths, and misconceptions. I recommend this book as a comprehensive must-have guide for any library.”
Martin A. Lee’s amazing book was published in 2012, but it still resonates today. Lee, an investigative reporter, takes the reader on a character-driven journey through the history of cannabis prohibition. Lee’s detailed research and lively writing style is one of the smartest books on the subject.
When Clint Werner’s book was published five years ago, endocannabinoid science was not discussed in mainstream media. Today, even the casual toker knows a thing or two about cannabinoids and how they affect the human body. Werner’s work is essential for anybody looking for an accessible, well-researched look at the science behind the herb.
Another smart book option for those more interested in the science of cannabis. Longtime cannabinoid expert Michael Backes examines strains, dosage and a practical guide to marijuana. This is a perfect book for medical marijuana patients — or those considering using cannabis for therapeutic use.
Carl Hart, a cutting-edge neuroscientist at Columbia University, has written a gripping, deeply personal book about his journey from the mean streets of Miami to the Ivy League. Along the way, he discusses the science of addiction and the failed War on Drugs. This book — part memoir and part social science — was the winner of the Pen/E.O. Wilson Literary Science Writing Award.
Doug Fine’s 2013 book is a sometimes hilarious look at cannabis laws and the future of the plant. Fine writes with flair and humor, but he is also a talented reporter who has an eye for detail. (By the way, Fine has another cannabis-related book worth checking out: Hemp Bound. If the person on your gift list is more interested in industrial hemp than psychoactive marijuana, this book is a must.)
OK. this book is not about marijuana … it’s about the rise and fall of alcohol prohibition. It is one of the best books ever written about failed the failed government policy. But the book really makes you think about how any kind of prohibition can be flawed. If the person on your gift list is not interested in weed, get them this book. It will make them think twice about marijuana prohibition.
The staff of the White House is starting to realize that in 2016, there are no rules. With just three weeks left under President Barack Obama’s administration, these staffers will soon graduate and they’re beginning to act like it. How? By pranking the President, only one of the most powerful men in the world.
This reveal comes courtesy of Pete Souza, the Chief Official White House Photographer. Souza’s Instagram account has always been a treasure trove to those wishing for a behind-the-scenes look into Obama and his administration. This time that includes pranking. Using four snowmen statues from the Rose Garden, staffers were slowly creeping the statues closer and closer to the president.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BOF_jkGDWke/
“We’ve been joking that we should move the snowmen a few feet closer to the Oval Office every day to see if anyone noticed,” Souza explained.
So while Obama worked away, filing some of his end-of-the-year paperwork, each statue took a position peering into a different window. Thankfully these snowmen didn’t get shanked, though the results were something out of a B-level Christmas horror movie. But don’t worry, the President liked the prank.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BOIGXE6jxdb/
This is not the only post Souza shared that demonstrated the administration’s preparing for graduation. Barack Obama has been known to dance previously, getting down to Drake’s “Hotline Bling.” But this bonus post shows Obama breaking it down with Usher and Sam Moore during a Ray Charles tribute earlier this year.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BOJDYR3j0MD/
Can you imagine this administration’s graduation party? Hopefully, we’ll receive a few more pranks and fun from them before they go. This year, we could use it.
Please jump aboard this hype train. Our destination? Blade Runner 2049, a movie so tantalizing in its first look I’d jump into a freezing chamber right now until October 6, 2017 if I had the option.
But let’s stop talking about possibilities and instead focus on realities. Ostensibly, Blade Runner 2049 is a sci-fi thriller returning us to neo-noir Los Angeles. There, humans and humanoid robots called Replicants are indistinguishable from one another, the artificial and real inseparable (You know, sort of like, Los Angeles now). Police officers called blade runners hunt down the renegade Replicants to maintain peace and order.
In this Hollywood climate of recycling existing IPs or building out the *extended cinematic universe* a dread hovered over Blade Runner 2049. When this film was announced, it was like, how many Harrison Ford vehicles from the 80s are we really gonna run back?
My response to my own hypothetical after watching this trailer: Run that shit back.
Ryan Gosling plays a new blade runner mysteriously named K, who’s uncovered a secret that could ruin the world, or what’s left of it. This discovery leads him to Rick Deckard (Harrison Ford), where I’m sure nothing *complicated* will happen.
Gosling’s doing that glazed, slack look on his face thing he does so well, messaging he’s both emotional fragile and/or dead inside. Nicolas Winding Refn tapped into it on modern classic Drive, establishing Dark Ryan Gosling who is the best Gosling. Dark Gosling also appears in Only God Forgives (where Refn tries not to remake a more brooding Drive with Thai gangsters but accidentally remade a more brooding Drive with Thai gangsters) and The Place Beyond the Pines (21 Savage is jealous of those face tats). Though we are very partial to Goofy, Lovable Gosling (The Nice Guys, Crazy, Stupid Love) and Smooth-Talking Eye Candy Gosling (The Big Short, The Ides of March) as well.
Screenshot via Warner Bros. Pictures/YouTube
Meanwhile, how wonderful is that Harrison Ford decided to try again? Watching Ford in Cowboys & Aliens and Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull always felt like he filmed his scenes after his old man afternoon nap. He was cashing those checks, as they say. But temporarily forgetting our beef with JJ Abrams, Ford was really good in The Force Awakens! Dude went for it, throwing his body around, delivering those low-key cheesy lines with believable verve. The Force Awakens, despite its many derivative faults, showed us Ford’s still got it.
Look, this trailer is so totally consuming I forgot Jared Leto will be in Blade Runner 2049. Adding Leto into this equation of Full Effort Ford, Dark Gosling, plus director Denis Villenueve (on a serious win streak with Sicario and Arrival) is pure catnip. I hope Leto is a Replicant and went so method he actually convinced himself he was a robot. Then, still in method mode, he accidentally fucked a Roomba.
Please catch this Blade Runner 2049 hype soon. Once it leaves the station, it’s going to be a runaway train.
Waiting on line for 90 minutes at one of the local Italian bakeries every major holiday had just one perk. I could purchase separate poundage of 7 Layer cookies for myself. Most of the cookie packs that are non-negotiable at my family gatherings have just four of these coveted almondy and frightening colored cookie, and they were fought over frequently. Seven layers of deliciousness, a mere moment to eat one, but hours to prepare. Making them with a hefty dose of cannabutter makes them irresistible and downright deadly. The rich cake layers, the tart fruit, and bitter chocolate are the pairing you never knew you loved. The cheesy tricolor effect makes them even more curious, They’re the colors of the Italian flag, though I have never seen these cookies in Italy. Though these are not easy to make, they are so worth it. They impress people and even yourself, you don’t need to be an expert either. One of the only food bloggers who dared to cover these cookies was Smitten Kitchen, based off a 2005 Gourmet recipe. This was the framework for the ‘Eighth Layer’.
Photo by Danielle Guercio
7 Layer Cookies
(modified from Smitten Kitchen Modified from Gourmet)
½ Stick cannabutter*
2 Sticks regular butter
1 cup Sugar
1 cup Almond paste
½ tsp Salt
2 cups Flour
2 3.5oz Bars dark chocolate
1 cup Seedless raspberry
Red food coloring
Green food coloring
Preheat oven to 350, 325 if your oven runs hot. Weigh a mixing bowl on a kitchen scale and note for later.
Photo by Danielle Guercio
Separate eggs and whip whites until stiff peaks are happening, add ¼ of the sugar and whip one minute longer, put aside.
Photo by Danielle Guercio
Sift together flour and salt into a second bowl. In third bowl cream the butter and almond paste with a hand mixer until well combined. Add sugar to the butter and paste and whip until fluffy. Add egg yolks and mix by hand until combined. Slowly and gently work in flour, also by hand. Fold in egg whites in two parts using a large spatula, gently so they don’t deflate. Weigh the batter subtracting the weight of the bowl, divide in three equal parts amongst the bowls. Pour first bowl onto a well buttered and parchment lined small baking sheet, use offset spatula to evenly distribute. Bake 12ish minutes depending on your oven, rotate halfway, you don’t want to see much browning here.
Photo by Danielle Guercio
Dispense red and green food coloring into second and third bowls, 10 drops each. Cover green batter bowl and refrigerate. Take out white cake from oven and transfer to wire rack to cool. Re-line the pan and pour red batter, bake as the first. Take green batter out of the fridge to come to room temperature. Remove red cake, place on wire rack to cool. Re-line pan and pour green batter. Bake, remove and allow all cakes to cool completely. When cakes are cool, spread half of jam on the red cake. Place white cake in line with red on top of jam layer. Cover white cake with remaining jam. Top with green cake in line with other two layers. Wrap in parchment and chill overnight.
Photo by Danielle Guercio
Trim edges slightly to allow chocolate to spread easier, try not to eat it until you’re finished, because these are strong and work fast!
Photo by Danielle Guercio
Remove cake from fridge, unwrap. Chop one bar of chocolate into fine pieces, melt in microwave gently. Spread over green cake evenly, chill 10 minutes.
Photo by Danielle Guercio
Gently flip the cake using a wire rack so red is facing up, chocolate down. Chop and melt remaining chocolate. Spread on red cake. Freeze at least 1 hour before cutting.
Photo by Danielle Guercio
Cut into strips before cutting into cookie sized slices with a serrated knife, wiping in between cuts.
Enjoy for all eternity, which won’t be long because these are so yummy! Keep in freezer to keep extra fresh, otherwise one week countertop, two weeks fridge.
*Cannabutter
Decarboxylate 3.5g of finely ground cannabis at 225 degrees for 20 minutes in a tightly sealed, oven safe container. Put in lidded mason jar or vacuum sealed bag with cannabis and 1 stick of butter. Heat in water bath just under boiling for at least 1 hour. Strain and chill butter to use in recipes.
Photo by Danielle Guercio
These take skill, but not expertise. The best advice is to read the recipe a few times over before executing it, have patience, and you will end up with the most boastful cookies on planet earth, to eat while watching the new Planet Earth 2.
Generally speaking, the best approach when your place of business is being robbed by masked gunmen is total submission; give them the cash or goods they demand, and don’t put up a fight. The employees at Lotions & Lace, a sex shop in San Bernardino, California, took a different approach during a robbery Wednesday night; instead of surrendering, they threw floppy dildos and other sex toys at the man until he left empty handed.
One of the employees spoke to KABC about the robbery, which took place about 9:45 pm Wednesday when a masked man walked into the store with what appeared to be a gun.
“With the gun, he walked in. I just thought he was trying to be funny, to scare us,” the employee, who was identified only as Amy, said. “But then I saw the gun and it was like, really? I don’t have time for this.”
She later said she thought the gun was fake. “It just didn’t look right,” she said. “I was just really irritated that he would try to come into the store that I’m to watch and manage, and try to pull this.”
“I think he was a coward,” her co-worker added. “Coming in and trying to get over on two females and not realizing that were pretty feisty.”
The failed robber chased away by dildo-waving clerks remains at large. Watch video of the crime below.
CRAZY SURVEILLANCE VIDEO: Sex store employees fight off armed robber by throwing adult toys at him. @ABC7 at 4pm pic.twitter.com/E8QbuxJkEX
This holiday season, more states have legal cannabis than ever. While we live in a state of not-universal legality, people want more options, better accessories, and superior storage. Fortunately we are being showered with new technology to improve the herbal experience. Now as smoking gains prevalence in all adult demographics, maybe now it’s safe to openly gift the smoker in your life, there’s plenty of dope options.
Photo by Maria Penaloza
As recreational marijuana use becomes more common, partakers want discreet and healthy ways to use it, and these items are going places they have never went before. Using USB power, butane-free ignition, and scent-proof lining, it’s easier than ever to go not only stealthy, but healthy. There’s even federally legal CBD with no THC if you still feel a bit cautious to break the green ceiling.
You could still be a hero in 2016 to the stoners in your life, grab one of these chic presents and they’ll be ‘gramming your present in seconds.
The Pax 2 is basically the iPod of smoking weed: it’s the digital solution to an analog activity. Like the iPod before it, the device is small, charges quickly, and gets the job done with the press of a button. If you’re worried about the cost, about 270 dollars, you can picture it equivalent to a year’s worth of rolling papers and lighters. That’s a lot of lung damage you’re saving, which some wouldn’t affix a monetary value to.
Pax 2 charges on a cradle with smart technology for prolonged battery health, resembling a tiny computer weed mouse. This jam has a light indicator to help you adjust settings and use effortlessly, heats up in less than 30 seconds, and gives the user an incredibly smoke-similar experience. This slaps down the number one complaint about portable vaporizers, that they don’t give the user a ‘smoke-like’ mouthfeel. On the high itself, this one gets pretty close, without the perils of combustion. It’s easy to see why this is the number one choice for discreet and health conscious smokers.
Be the star of Snapchat and take your fire on the go with the rechargeable lighter that’s attached to your cell phone. After a week of using the Blazercase with my iPhone 6, the cons are few. This type of lighter is better for the environment, since there’s no plastic lighter housing to dispose of when it runs out of fuel. A charge lasts about one day for a serious stoner and it comes in lots of colors. It’s a crucial stoner stocking stuffer, and a guaranteed ice breaker for months after.
If you pulled out your Blue Plazmatic X on a would-be attacker, they might run away thinking it’s a taser due to it’s high-pitched zappy sound. This means it’s the kind of gift that will have all the men testing the electric lighter’s power, and everyone else laughing at them. The most awesome reason to gift lighters like these is their lack of butane, which powers most conventional lighters. Much of the ‘bad for you’ parts of smoking weed come from the paper and the butane, so ditching it is the healthwise thing to do, and shows that you care.
These lighters hold a charge for many, many lights, and are have a less considered benefit: no open flame to endanger your hair, beards, or eyelashes. Harnessing the power of your laptop (or portable USB charger!) saves money, time, and is a benefit to the environment. Giving a true stoner the power to light a joint even in windy conditions is more thoughtful than you know.
Erbanna
Photo by Maria Penaloza
Show your progressive side by accepting the femme stoners in your life and supporting brands that cater to them. Erbanna founder Anne Shuch is throwing the stereotypes and rough-hewn hemp themed accessories in the recycling bin by using technology and well designed bags to appeal to women no matter what their style.
Her purses, cases, and clutches are designed to not only store cannabis and it’s accoutrement stealthily, but to keep them safe and secure–some even have locks, which is amazing. My favorite is the Queen Snake Kimberly ($60) because it is not only stylish in a straightforward way, but it hides away everything from papers and vapes to eyedrops, providing non-judgemental organization to your gear.
Once zipped, the liner and zipper prevent the scents of raw flowers, portable vaporizers, roaches, edibles, and any glass that may have an odor from getting out into the world. A true stoner knows the feeling of opening your bag in a public place and thinking…”Is that me?!” This bag removes the anxiety completely, and I would wager is helpfully discreet for concertgoers looking to not have their goods confiscated at the door. The gift of discreet weed transport is of incalculable value.
Protective and Stylish Jars From Victoria Nadler
Photo by Maria Penaloza
Victoria Nadler has a bit of a cult following for her bejewelled weed accessories. This is a gift that again looks cool, but has a stoner-centric function. It’s well known that storing cannabis in glass jars is ideal storage, but this ignores the light sensitivity issue, since rays can degrade the THC and other cannabinoids. Victoria’s jars don’t resemble the current market options for lightproof storage, usually goofy silicone in tie dye colors or sterile medicinal looking plastic. Glass keeps it fresh longer, glass made opaque by hand-applied crystals, gems, and studs gets you even more life for your leaf.
Victoria is inspired by festival culture and her jars are snap-worthy but also damned classy! Get your own jar, lighter, or swing-top for baller types via her Instagram page. Her jars range from 40-70 dollars and come with semi-precious crystals. If you believe in or enjoy crystals, having one next to your herb is probably as on-brand as you can get. This makes it a gift that will be shown off every time it’s used, the best kind.
Designed by creative professionals seeking to branch out and bridge the beauty and cannabis worlds, Herb Essentls is gift-worthy packaged delicious smelling products that contain no THC. They smell like lavender, patchouli, cannabis, and even a bit of sandalwood and spruce, and are unisex and enticing.
Choose from a rich band healing facial moisturizer or an addictive candle to show the stoners in your life you think about their environment and well being. Support indie creative brands that are normalizing what essentially is just like every other plant we use in our daily lives.
Gifting cannabis oriented products and accessories not only signals your rational sensibility when it comes to our current climate, it shows you are participating in what has been a part of human culture for nigh on 10,000 years, with only recent prohibition being a blip in the history of this glorious greenery. What better time to show loved ones that you are looking forward than the holidays of 2016?
If you’re one of the many people in this country who enjoy driving around with a hyper-realistic mannequin dressed as an elderly woman buckled into your passenger seat, we suggest steering clear of Hudson, New York if you can help it.
The Times Unionreports that the Hudson police received a call Friday morning about an elderly woman with an oxygen mask on who appeared to be “frozen to death” in a snow-covered Subaru parked near City Hall.
A sergeant rushed to the scene and smashed the rear passenger window, only to discover that the frozen woman was actually a mannequin dressed up like an older woman, complete with granny glasses, a sweater, liver spots, and an oxygen mask. “She” was even buckled in, according to the Times Union.
The car and mannequin’s weirdo owner wasn’t exactly thrilled with the damage to his vehicle.
“It is my understanding that the owner was incredulous that we took action in this matter,” Chief L. Edward Moore said in a press release. “He apparently was quite vocal and vulgar to my sergeant.”
However, Moore defended the sergeant’s actions.
“Just to clear the record, all citizens of Hudson should be put on notice that if you park your locked vehicle on the street on a sub-zero night with a life-size realistic mannequin seated in it… we will break your window.”
The Jonas Brothers are no longer bandmates, but they’re coming together the day after Christmas for a Food Network special documenting their family’s southern restaurant in North Carolina.
Jonas Restaurant: Family Style takes viewers on a journey along with parents Kevin and Denise during the opening of their comfort eatery Nellie’s Southern Kitchen, in honor of the brothers’ great grandmother.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BNzk3NkAany/
According to People, Kevin, Joe and Nick all had important roles in the opening of Nellie’s this past June, even if it was just taste-testing. The menu includes homey foods like Biscuits ‘n Gravy, Salt & Pepper Catfish and Green Bean Casserole.
Joe, who opened Hinterland restaurant in Santa Monica back in 2015, was likely a convenient source for advice.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BODU6jJA5gG
And here’s an Instagram gem. Did you know Papa Jonas has some musical chops all his own? He’s evidently not shy about flaunting his vocal stylings on stage at the restaurant. How soon before we’re treated to a Jonas family variety hour?
https://www.instagram.com/p/BOD9XhoAFhs/
You can catch Jonas Restaurant: Family Style December 26 at 7 p.m. ET on Food Network.
Six years ago, the White Settlement Public Library in Texas adopted a cat from a local shelter as a form of kid-friendly, cheap, and reliable rodent control. Since then, the community has come to love and appreciate the feline, appropriately named Browser, with the notable exception of one man: City Councilman Elzie Clements.
This summer, Clements was the sole member of the City Council to vote in favor of firing Browser after a city worker complained that he wasn’t able to bring his puppy to work at City Hall. Browser was, thankfully, able to keep his job, but not before what KRLD describes as worldwide outrage ensued.
The scandal was apparently enough to ruin the local political career of Clements, who lost his seat in a landslide in November. As for Browser, he’ll keep his job as long as he wants.
“Browser is still employed and will be as long as he wishes to continue his duties as mascot and reading helper for the children at the library,” Mayor Ron White said, adding that he considers Browser the “Library Cat for Life.”
What we need, truly, is someone to thank. Whoever the source of this modern blessing in which we find ourselves. Someone who is doctor zero. Someone who provided cure to a middling malaise suffocating our car rides, club visits, and casual nights in. A wave does not form without a disturbance within the ocean. Someone else caused it. Or possibly, in our unique case, something.
This much is clear: An outside chemical chums our pop music waters in 2016. What some may call coincidence instead feels like a collective shift in the elements. All at once, our country’s biggest pop stars got weird. They dove inward. They stopped playing the game. They introduced technology, in startlingly various ways, into their craft, into their art. It was like the pop music school board approved new toys for the kids simultaneously. They didn’t so much play different sports exceptionally well as invent new ones games only they could play.
What is strange, then, is how just as music’s greatest stars dove headfirst into these stranger tides, it has resulted in the biggest, most beloved year for those same stars and for music in general. 2016 offers such grand possibility for enthusiasm in music fandom that virtually every star has a #hive or a stan army or a stunt-worthy merch line or a universe-shattering concert tour this year. Think of our most popular stars: Kanye, Beyoncé, Rihanna, Chance the Rapper, Drake, Taylor Swift, and somehow, improbably, more.
And how did they achieve such a rarified feat? For most of them, it was simple: they released the most off-the-wall, reclusive, multi-faceted, and niche records of their careers. How anyone keeps pace with *the culture* in their free time is beyond me. Thank Yeezus someone pays me for this.
All Hail Bey
Speaking of demagogues—well, shit, I could go anywhere with that preamble nowadays. Whoever your musical idol is probably could earn the reference. And it’s possible the conversation could begin there.
Instead let’s discuss the Super Bowl, though the football hardly matters. Admittedly, a 30-second interlude of mental self-flagellation was required to recall whoever won the damn game (Dad-rocker Peyton Manning’s Denver Broncos—to think I used to be a sportswriter…) because anytime I hear “Super Bowl,” I think about Beyoncé almost falling.
Few celebrities seize the ADD-rambling zeitgeist like Beyoncé: That Friday she dropped her haunting “Formation” video without promotion, its corkscrew-y beat rattling headphones; by Sunday everyone knew the words. The performance absorbed a political activist stance because of the context Beyoncé placed it in, dancers and singer donning Black Panther garb. It made Janet Jackson exposing a nipple seem like a Pixar short—G-rated nonsense.
A surface reading indulges listeners that “Formation” itself isn’t politically natured beyond feminine empowerment. “Come on, ladies, now let’s get into formation.” But in those uniforms, and with a black ancestry-soaked music video, that lyric oozes militaristic intention. No pop artist utilizes visual configuration to transform songs like Beyoncé. She simultaneously dared and ruined every pop artist to construct a visual album or component to their release. Few ever come close; none touch her.
Seemingly Lemonade shows a vulnerable Beyoncé analyzing the broken pieces of her marriage then, like it were just a puzzle to be solved, she puts them back together. The weakest moments, both visually and sonically, come in the resolution. Not that you’re rooting against her and Jay Z; it’s just more thrilling to watch an apathetic Bey smash shit apart, like in “Sorry,” the year’s best pop anthem (sorry, Drake). That dead-eye, alien look she does arouses, irresistible yet liable to rip your heart out. Her ecstatic, biting falsetto singing “I ain’t sorry” and “Middle fingers high” renders listeners moths to Beyoncé’s flames.
But as Lemonade demonstrates, Beyoncé craves control. She is the woman after all who bans professional photographers from concerts and convinces awards shows to perform whatever and however she wants, even when it upsets their base. (I ain’t sorry, CMAs.) Everything Beyoncé enters the world precisely how Ms. Knowles intends. You must meet her on her terms, like watching an hour-long visual album or viewing pictures only on her Tumblr and Instagram. She shares only when and how she wants. At times, this vice grip on her image approaches something suffocating (the Beyhive not helping matters), though it never crosses any line. And why should anyone craft “Beyoncé” besides her? In a digitally-obsessed culture where individual identity feels perpetually exposed and out of one’s grasp, Beyoncé’s total control appears divine.
It probably explains why I’m so obsessed with her Super Bowl stumble. You probably didn’t realize it happened in real time. I didn’t. But think of the ripples if she falls—it’s all anyone remembers and probably becomes a meme (“when you ain’t flawless…smh”), swiftly undercutting the Beyoncé myth she so meticulously assembled this year. Without such momentum, does Lemonade’s reception feel, I don’t know, lesser? Do the award show performances not encroach such spectacular domination?
https://vine.co/v/i1n1EltQHVp
Who knows. Instead Yoncé recovered, stumbling in rhythm and stepped into formation. She forever woke up like this. She’s immaculate, untouchable, practically perfect, which is exactly why we’ll never have enough of her. We’re all drinking the lemonade.
Kanye And The San Pablo
Is it possible to reasonably discuss Kanye West and Life of Pablo anymore? Previously the album resembled a spiritual crisis; the next conclusion now might be a mental breakdown, though that seems trite and shallow. The Trump support, the Jay Z and Beyoncé lashing out, the trenchant tribal lines from Stans and critics, the maximum Kanye-ness of Kanye swirling around currently subverts the music, the fashion, and intentions of Mr. West’s life-as-art ethos.
Yet Life of Pablo remains one of the best records of the year. His Saint Pablo tour was a sermon. “Ultralight Beam” isn’t so much a song as a spiritual journey. Maybe you can dismiss the man, but you can’t deny the music.
Whereas Beyoncé portrays perfection, Kanye always seems in pursuit of it. Even when he gets there, he seems perpetually unsatisfied. Not only is he forever “fixing” these Pablo records like “Waves” and “Wolves,” he’s even still tweaking 808s & Heartbreak and Yeezus tracks. The release of Pablo was manic and exhausting, though supremely intoxicating. For most of his career, you never knew what Kanye might do next, but this year we really didn’t know what Kanye might do next. In “Feedback,” he snarls “Name one genius that ain’t crazy.” A taunt at the time, it now sounds like a dare to himself. Kanye doesn’t so much want control, as reserve the right to lose control.
As Deep As The Ocean
Meanwhile Frank Ocean lost control and despairingly needed it back. His tactful maneuvering to sidestep his Def Jam contract was masterful, though it’s probably more interesting to the media than actual fans. Following the releases of nostalgia, ULTRA. and Channel Orange, Frank received due praises as one of our best songwriters around. His descriptive storytelling (Coachella girls with ice blue bongs, pretty boy granddaddies, Forrest Gumps) paired with that wailing voice embellished pop’s rigid structures to breathtaking results. The lane was all Frank’s.
His response? Blowing up his own spot. Forget songwriting, forget structure, forget his own singing. He hid one exclusive album underneath a painstaking *visual* album that routinely crashes, lags, and straight-up breaks (thanks, Apple Music!). On the other, he modulates and distorts his voice, crafting a dialogue within himself. When Frank gives you his honest voice, it’s fleeting. Ideas float in and out, never quite settling for the most part, a “Siegfried” and “Nights” more musical suites than songs. He doesn’t just croon about “How you made me lose my self control,” he shows you.
Endless (a purposeful vanishing act of a masterpiece) and Blonde (an act of self-erasure to discover the ink lines underneath) each demand so much of listeners. They aren’t serialized nor episodic; they require full playthroughs multiple times. To pull out a “Solo,” “Nights,” or “Comme des Garcones” doesn’t cheat the song of its verve, but it cheats you out of your own possible richness.
Both Kanye and Frank sort of dare fans not to like them—albeit in wildly opposite manners. In Frank’s case, he reminds us want what we can’t have and desperately seek: blue-eyed love. Kanye seems to wonder if that thing’s even possible.
So Much More
These weren’t the only artists that mattered in 2016. Drake continues to dominate the radio and streaming waves. Rihanna released her best record ever, but doesn’t really seem to care if you care. Chance the Rapper showed us rap isn’t in need of saving any time soon. Others like Anderson .Paak, Mitski, and The Weeknd released some fantastic ear worms.
None, however, achieved the scales of artistic statement while capturing a roving sentiment between identity and technology in the digital age. It’s really weird to be alive right now. It’s confusing and chaotic, your very self seems perpetually out of grasp. What matters and who matters. Do I?
Bey, Ye, and Frank seized control precisely how they wanted, carving out possibilities and identities we didn’t know possible. They were fully and unapologetically their arty selves. Thanks ya weirdos.
