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Drink Like It’s Spring Break Without Breaking The Bank With These 7 Wines

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Eyes gazed and cursor flashing: you’ve been caught at your desk again daydreaming of the time you won a booze-fueled wet t-shirt contest in Puerto Vallarta. Now as a responsible adult — and legal purchaser of alcohol — your spring break doesn’t have to consistent of a whistle-blowing bartender dumping free tequila down your gullet. Your springtime alcohol getaway can be one of leisure and budget-saving relief! Here are seven wallet-friendly and imported white wines to export your mind back to those white-sanded glory days.

Caves da Cerca 2016 Famega Vinho Verde ($8)

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Directly translating to “green wine,” this bubbly Portuguese favorite is sessionable perfection. A light, citrusy and sprightly wine that can be consumed by the bucket-full at roughly 8 percent ABV. Buy in bulk.

Marqués de Cáceres 2016 Rueda Verdejo ($9)

Altogether now: ver-DAY-ho! This Spanish powerhouse maker pumps out its version of the region’s most planted white grape with zest and zeal, a crisp and crunchy sipper best served ice cold and next to a poolside veggie platter.

Le Jaja de Jau 2015 Pays d’Oc Sauvignon Blanc ($9)

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The scents and flavors of white flowers and tropical fruits are captured and capsuled in this bargain bottle from France’s Languedoc region. The screw top allows for easy access when the sun randomly rears its head.

Berger 2016 Grüner Veltliner ($10)

Truly only four words needed here: bang for your buck. A single Hamilton (and change for tax) will get you this pop-top liter bottle of refreshing, fruity yet dry wine. Oddly enough, the Austrian import is a natural match for sushi.

Yaluma 2016 Y Series Viognier ($10)

Lush and brimming with tropical fruit like a Mai Tai without the hangover, creamy flavors of honeysuckle and melon bring the Bahamas to the glass, by way of an Australian winery. Drink with heaping hot salsa and salty tortilla chips.

Inama 2015 Soave Classico ($14)

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From the Italian Garganega grape variety comes this wine from its namesake region in the hills of the Veneto. Lemon peel, tangy green apple, ripe pear, chamomile and other herbs fill out the profile on this white that deserves the presence of fish n’chips.

Terrazas de los Andes 2016 Torrontés Reserva ($15)

Teaming with the smells of spring (melon, lychee, white flowers, peaches), the Argentine variety fills the glass and palate with wide flavor and freshness you’d expect from season. Just like Mexico to college students, Torrontés should be consumed while its still young and fresh.

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SXSW 2017: Our Favorite Surprises And Most Disappointing Music Performances

Austin’s South by Southwest may be over, but we’re still processing everything we saw that wild week. To help explain to those who couldn’t attend a feeling of what SXSW shows are like, we offer this small taste.
Photos by: Abigail Slider

Best Performance: The Roots & Friends

Part of what establishes The Roots as so foundational to contemporary music is their subtle, wide-open ears. They can flip between backing Hov and Hamilton and not lose any of their essential flavor. When you read the lineup of who the Roots considers musical Friends—a sampling: Rae Sremmurd, Shakey Graves, Brandy, Cloves—it doesn’t really make sense at first sight. Heard in context with the Roots, you simply shut up and listen. (For full list and experience: check here.)

Favorite Show: Francis And The Lights

I’m kind of outing myself as a Francis head, but so has your favorite: Chance, Kanye, Bon Iver, Drake. His music feels both intimately vulnerable and oddly protective as a listener. He really goes for it, and willing to try anything—like when Francis climbed the paneling of his stage, danced from the highest peak (a good 15-20 feet tall), making me think I would witness death, then jumped down to stage level, clutching the microphone and crushing the hook of the song he was performing. It was just pure exhilaration.

Best I-Didn’t-Think-I’d-Ever-See-Him-Perform Performance: Jay Electronica

I won’t repeat myself too much after writing a full recap here. But for a week filled with surreal moments, Jay Electronica was the one performance I couldn’t stop questioning, “Is this really happening right now?”

Most Disappointing: Taylor Bennett

Some necessary caveats: Taylor Bennett does not receive his proper credit because he happens to be Chance the Rapper’s little brother. Restoration Of An American Idol is one of 2017’s more underrated hip hop projects. “Neon Lights” should be an underground summer jam, but probably won’t. You can see I’m supporter of Taylor’s music, which might explain the crushing disappointment to watch him rely so heavily on his backing track while rapping. I won’t accuse him of lip-syncing, but his performance didn’t connect in the way it should. It was strange, too, that he rapped a verse a cappella mid-show and sounded great. The whole show would’ve probably been better that way.

Best Surprise: Rag’n’Bone Man

Some friends told me to meet them at YouTube House to watch Rag’n’Bone Man. They’d heard him the night before and, with little else happening that afternoon, wanted to see him again. On the flip side, I didn’t know there was an artist even named Rag’n’Bone Man. First impression as he walked on stage: he’s a big, bearded fellow, a bit soft-spoken, shy even, a dark rum drink in hand. Then he opened his mouth to sing. His voice is so full, ragged (get it?) in a world-worn way; it hits you in the gut like a bowling bowl to an empty stomach. Two nights later I saw him again. The venue was St. David’s Church, which I couldn’t resist even though it was 1 a.m. and had been drinking. Apparently the performance was an emotional experience because a woman in the pew ahead of mine, turned around then clutched my knee, a pitying-yet-understanding look on her face. She didn’t need to explain the gesture.

Most Hype: Denzel Curry

This is a man who cannot be contained. Dissatisfied with the crowd’s energy, Denzel Curry jumped down the stage and started moshing fans while rapping his ass off. This happened multiple times and not once did his syllables falter, even as he pushed fans wildly flailing into him away. This all happened before he went “Super Saiyan II.” Best to keep that moment a secret, though.


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Gossip: Hugh Jackman ‘Wolverine’ Wrap Present; Penis Pics; Kim K Changes Locks Every 5 Days

It’s not uncommon for actors and crewmembers to give each other presents when a film ends production, but Hugh Jackman revealed he got a very naughty wrap gift when he finished X-Men Origins: Wolverine, the first of the three standalone movies starring the gruff X-Man.

Moviegoers didn’t see the full Jackman, but the footage was shot. And when it came time for the wrap party, “my wrap gift from the director [Gavin Hood] was a bag which had all the film… with my dick in it,” Jackman disclosed.

“So, I got frames of film, and I am looking, going, ‘Okay, hello!’”

The 48-year-old Aussie says the production team offered him a cock sock for the scene, but he demurred, claiming “it’s just like college.” (Side note: We would like to visit Hugh Jackman’s college.)

Asked about how little Logan looked in living color, the star replied, “It’s pretty good, I think. I’m fine.”

Kim Kardashian Has Locks And Security Codes Changed Every 5 Days

Kim Kardashian told her family about a Paris robbery flashback triggered by husband Kanye West arriving home late.

“I totally freaked out,” Kim admitted. “He always comes up the back stairs. Like, I always know he comes out the stairs that go into my room. But he came up the front stairs, and all I heard were his feet stomping up stairs,” she told Kris and Kourtney of husband Kanye, 39.

“I can’t sleep without four guards outside,” said Kim. “Like, at three in the morning, he came in, and that’s the same time the robbery happened. After a concert, he can’t hear that well, so I’m going, ‘Hello, hello!’ Like, exactly what I did and he’s not responding to me ’cause he can’t hear me,” she added. “And then he walks in, and I’m like, ‘Hello, a**hole.’ [I’m] like, ‘We’ve got to come up with a plan. You’ve got to announce yourself'”, she said.

“Kim is still terrified. She demands all the locks and security codes get changed every 5 days. She is taking no chances,” sources tell NAUGHTY GOSSIP. “Her security is now her number one priority. She doesn’t care how much money it costs. She will never be in that terrifying position again. Never.”

Love the fresh dirt we bring over daily from Naughty Gossip? Let us know in the comments!


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Wisconsin Town Thinks A $1 Fine For Marijuana Is Too Much Money

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The city council in Monona, Wisconsin recently a year and a half debating whether the fine for marijuana possession should be lowered from $200 to $1. But in the end they agreed that even $1 was too much to pay for such a harmless crime, and agreed to remove any fine for marijuana altogether.

High Times reports the new ordinance has removed all fines for possession of marijuana in public or private spaces if the person is at least 21. Smoking in public, however, is still against the law and carries a $200 fine.

But how does local law enforcement feel about the new ordinance?

“If the community values are, ‘Marijuana is not that serious of an offense’ and they want to have a $1 fine, or no fine, that’s their opinion,” Chief Walter Ostrenga told High Times. He added that while there are only 60 to 70 marijuana possession cases per year, he worries that eliminating all fines could lead to an increase of weed in private homes, which could expose more children to the drug.

“I can totally see both the arguments for and against, but I think there is an initiative, a change coming forth that is going to be a reduction of those fines,” Monona Mayor Bob Miller said.


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It’s Official: More People Die In SWAT Marijuana Raids Than Cannabis ODs

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The number of marijuana-related SWAT raids in the last seven years that have resulted in someone’s death: Twenty. The number of people who’ve died from using marijuana, in the history of forever: Zero.

Something here doesn’t add up. According to data compiled by the New York Times, the victims in SWAT raids range from people dealing dangerous drugs, to police officers, to innocent people or those who only have a very small amount of marijuana in their possession. No one is exempt from risk during a raid.

The Washington Post reports:

The list of fatalities includes small-time dealers and people who sold the occasional joint to a friend, as well as people suspected of dealing in more serious drugs like crack or meth, but who were found to be in possession of only marijuana after the fact. It also includes four police officers who were killed during the raids, intentionally or otherwise. The deadly raids are a reminder that an activity that’s legal and celebrated in some states — selling weed — can get you killed in others.

Among those who’ve died in raids are a 29-year-old who had less than a joint’s worth of marijuana in his house and a man who sold 1.8 ounces of marijuana to an undercover cop.

Some SWAT officers maintain that the measures are necessary, and that bursting into someone’s home in riot gear, weapons drawn, is the correct response to a “dope house next door.” As states start legalizing both medical and recreational marijuana, and more studies show that cannabis isn’t a public health risk after all, the basis for justifiable raids gets more shaky.


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Watch: Kid Meeting The Pope Snatches Souvenir From Pontiff’s Head

For Catholics around the world, it’s a dream to get to meet the pope. The head of your church, right there for you to shake hands with or, if you’re lucky, have bless you. For one intrepid youngster, however, a handshake or prayer wasn’t enough; she wanted the pope’s hat—and she got it.

The below video was posted and filmed by Twitter user Mountain Butorac. “Took my Goddaughter to meet the pope,” he wrote “She stole his hat!”

The video shows just that: A cute little girl, probably three or four, being lifted up to greet a smiling Pope Francis, who kisses her on the cheek just as she reaches up to grab the hat—known as a “zucchetto”— from his head.

“Right before she went up she was a little nervous,” Butorac told CNN. “Then she stole his hat. It was hilarious, everyone was laughing including the Pope.”

“It’s her first full day in Rome, who knows what she will get up to tomorrow,” he added.


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This Stray Dog Is Welcomed As Monastery’s Cutest New Friar


The Franciscan monastery of Cochabamba, Bolivia recently announced their newest member named Carmelo. This is of special significance because Carmelo is an adorable, furry pup. After joining the sacred group, Carmelo earned a new name. Now they call him Friar Bigotón, which is Spanish for “mustache.”

According to the Dodo, Friar Bigotón previously lived as a stray until the monastery took him in. Not only is he happier running around and playing, Friar Bigotón has important duties as well.

“[Here’s] Brother Carmelo preaching to the fish,” wrote Franciscan Kasper Mariusz Kaproń on Facebook.

Check out more of the adorable pictures embedded below.


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This Is What Lyft Is Doing To Keep People From Driving High In Colorado

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If it hasn’t been drummed into your head by now, here is a public service announcement: Don’t drive drunk. Don’t drive high. Don’t drive under the influence of any mind-altering substance. Got it? In an effort to reinforce the obvious, Lyft has partnered with the Colorado Department of Transportation to help combat driving under the influence of marijuana.

Lyft, a rideshare service Lyft has partnered with the Colorado Department of Transportation to help combat driving high for those under the influence of marijuana.competing with Uber across the country, made the unique announcement on Tuesday. According to the company:

Seven percent of DUIs in Colorado involve cannabis consumption. With this in mind, CDOT and Lyft want to encourage people to plan safe rides before consuming marijuana. To contribute to this, from March 20 to April 20, Lyft and CDOT will be offering discounted ride codes. At 3:20 PM every Sunday until 4/20/17, people can visit www.320movement.com to claim their discounted ride code.

Along with providing ride codes, we’ll be spreading awareness by wrapping 17 Lyft cars in the Denver area in green with the slogan “plan a ride before you’re high.” Passengers can look forward to free rides (up to $10) if they are picked up in one of these cars the week before 4/20.

A publicity stunt? Perhaps. But Lyft is serious about public safety.

“There’s an awareness among people who are going out and having a good time with alcohol, but we are now in the early stages of creating that same proactive safety-first attitude when it comes to cannabis consumption,” said Gabe Cohen, Lyft’s Denver general manager.

Cohen’s point was echoed by CDOT spokesman Sam Cole. “People think about getting a Lyft when they’re drunk, but they don’t necessarily think about getting a Lyft when they’re high. Impairment is impairment,” Cole said.


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Good News Everyone: Bestiality Just Became Officially Illegal In Ohio

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Bad news for animal lovers in Ohio: The state’s bestiality ban officially went into effect on Tuesday, the Dayton Daily News reports.

The Ohio General Assembly passed the ban in December, following failed attempts in 2011 and 2015. Under the law, bestiality is now a second degree misdemeanor punishable by up to 90 days in jail and a $750 fine. Anyone found guilty will lose custody of their animal and could be ordered to undergo a psychological evaluation.

“I think this is something that is sickening and perverse and we don’t want Ohio to be the place you can come and have sex with an animal,” State Senator Jim Hughes told the Daily News.

Somewhat surprisingly, bestiality remains legal in eight states and Washington D.C.


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Gossip: Kris Jenner To Produce OJ Simpson Reality Show; Beyoncé Turns Down $1 Million For Baby Pics

With talk of OJ Simpson getting out of jail as early as this fall, Kris Jenner has already been mouthing off about producing a new reality show based on the disgraced football player.

Related Story: Gossip: Justin Bieber Hates Fat, Unattractive People; Brad Pitt’s Hygiene Improves Post-Angie

No one knows reality TV better than Kris Jenner. Kris is the brains behind the super successful Kardashian reality franchise and now is looking to get into a business with her old friend OJ,” sources tell Straight Shuter. “Kris was a long time friend with OJ’s murdered wife, Nicole Simpson, and has known OJ for years. She knows how to handle him and his show and make sure the tone is right so that both a potential audience and advertisers are not turned off.”

Insiders reveal that Kris has been talking about the project with family as well as network friends but has not yet committed.

Beyoncé Turns Down $1 Million Offer For Twins’ First Pictures

The birthdate for Beyoncé’s twins is clouded with mystery, but that isn’t stopping photo agencies from offering big bucks to get those first pictures.

“Beyoncé has been offered over $1 million for the first photographs of the twins,” sources tell Straight Shuter. “She has turned down all the offers and plans to let the world see her babies when she is ready and on her own social media pages. She wants to control the pictures and everything else about the announcement. When she is ready to show the world, she will do it herself.”

Related Story: Inside The Game Of Thrones Bar Serving Dornish Wine And Sansa’s Lemon Pies

And don’t expect any lucky photographer to stumble across the new mommy with her babies. Insiders reveal that after they are born, the twins will all be escorted to a private residence where security will be presidential-tight. Remember when Brad and Angelina Jolie got paid $14 million for their twins’ pictures?

Love the fresh dirt we bring over daily from Naughty Gossip? Let us know in the comments!

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