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Norway’s Prime Minister Is Super Into Pokemon Go And Gaming

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An addiction occurs over time and often without the addicted noticing. A recreational activity introduces itself into your life and because it’s so fun, you perform the fun act as much and as often as you can. But then, you slack off your duties, like say, being Norway’s Prime Minister for example, and instead play Pokemon Go while you should be working.

Everyone accuses you of having a problem. You wave off the concerns. There was a Pikachu on the Parliament floor. Like you’re really going to miss an opportunity to catch a Pikachu because Trine Skei Grande, the leader of Norway’s Liberal Party, is speaking. You are Erna Solberg after all, the PM and leader of the Norwegian Conservative Party. What could she say to convince you of, well, anything?

And she was caught playing Pokemon Go during an August meeting of the Norwegian Parliament’s Standing Committee on Foreign Affairs and Defense! She’s the one with the problem. Not you.

However, we at the Fresh Toast feel it is our duty to speak up. When you see someone falling, what are you supposed to do?

That’s right. Let them fall. But then you pick them up. And that is why we are here today. To lift up our dear friend, Erna Solberg.

The symptoms of possible addiction in this client began two years with a game you know as Candy Crush. She admitting while running for office that she enjoyed playing the game.

“It is relaxing to play Candy Crush and other relatively uncomplicated games,” she told Norway’s VG newspaper. “In a hectic election campaign there will not be much time for it, but sometimes I take the iPad with me on a plane or in the back seat of the car.”

She had taken a break, though, when she, you know, became Norway’s actual Prime Minister. But reports then surfaced she beat level 300 in Candy Crush. Level 300!

So when she was seen playing Pokemon Go in Slovakia, there was cause for concern. Taking a break from official duties in Bratislava, “Iron Erna” (no really, they call her that) strolled throughout the capital’s old town, catching Pokemon. A camera crew followed her moves, giving viewers a frontline glimpse of how Solberg catches them all.

(By the way, Solberg was there for a European Union meeting revolving around Britain’s upcoming Brexit vote. Seeing how that went, little wonder why this didn’t make rounds overseas.)

It all led to the recent moment where photographers captured Solberg playing Pokemon Go on the Parliament Floor.

It just hurts, you know. Seeing someone reach this point. The Norwegian Prime Minster really enjoys gaming. Like a lot.

Then again, considering how our presidential election’s been going, maybe we should just let the woman catch ’em all.

 

 

Drake Visits Drake University, Students Fear He’s A Killer Clown

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For some time now, Drake University has been asking—pleading? begging?—for rapper Drake to visit their campuses. The pitch makes sense. It’s like being at a dinner party and someone works in a similar field or has the same name. “Drake, meet Drake,” a mutual party might introduce.

Ahead of his nearby Des Moines, Iowa show, part of his Summer Sixteen Tour, Drake U was doing everything they can (i.e. posting on social media) to convince Drake to visit.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BLGwPeHA2JG/

Drake didn’t make an appearance, though. Sometimes, the world doesn’t work in your favor. The students were crushed.

He did, however, show some love during the concert, sporting some of the school’s gear. A nice treat from Drake, you might say.

But Drake, if nothing else, is a showman. Waiting until the dead of night, when most students were likely asleep, Drake visited the university, posing for some pictures. The students had unwittingly completed their mission of #BringDraketoDrake. A rousing success, you might say.

That’s not all. Drake of course found some sorority houses and posted outside with his crew. Their aim: surprise some of the girls and let their dreams come true. But the girls did not answer in both cases.

Now a reasonable person might find this understandable. Maybe they didn’t hear their doorbell ringing in the middle of the night. No big deal.

But we do not live in a sane world. The girls heard Drake ringing at their door. They heard him good and well. They just thought he was a clown trying to kill them.

Stop letting these clowns rule you, people! It’s an internet hoax! Stephen King even said so!

Anyways, the sorority tried to make up for it with an apology tweet, but they missed their moment. By the time they woke, or more accurately, realized that Drake wasn’t part of the Killer Clown Posse, Drake was gone.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BLLHFPFjU0F/

In other Drake news, singer Shawn Mendes had a really weird dream about him. How do we know this? Because he decided to tweet about it for some reason.

Seems like everyone just wants to meet Drake, even if it’s only in their dreams.

Russian Meteorologists Predict What Post-Nuclear-Attack Weather In Nebraska Would Be Like

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With relations between the United States and Russia deteriorating over the civil war in Syria, it’s, uh, fun and not worrying at all to see a state-owned television station in Moscow predicting the weather in Nebraska following a nuclear attack.

The Moscow Times reports that the footage, which aired on Rossiya 24 on October 5, has since been deleted from the station’s website and replaced by an edited version, though a clip of the unedited broadcast is still available on Facebook.

According to the Times, the clip was part of a report examining Russia’s early warning radar systems. From the Times:

The country’s RTI radar station in Siberia’s Krasnoyarsk region had announced earlier that day that it had successfully identified a ballistic missile’s precise trajectory on a practice range.

As part of the unedited report, the host discussed the potential impact of a nuclear explosion in the U.S. state of Nebraska, explaining that it would knock out electronic devices as far away as southern Canada.

The station apparently excels at this sort of trolling/exploitation of awful world events: In 2015, it came under fire for dedicating a special segment to the weather in Syria and how it would affect Russian pilots dropping bombs on the country.

Just another exciting thing to think about this election season!

With SteakCation, Taco Bell Is Transforming A Drive-Thru Into An Airbnb

Taco Bell has taken this whole stunt food thing to the next level. They’ve teamed up with Airbnb to promote the new Steak Doubledillas by transforming one of their locations into a teenage boy’s dream, complete with video games, movies, bunk beds and all the Steak Doubledillas you can shove into your face. Here’s the listing:

Have you ever dreamed of living in a Taco Bell? If so, you have really strange dreams. And we have really great news: On October 17th, you and three friends can celebrate the launch of the new Steak Doubledilla by spending the night at Taco Bell playing games, watching TV, and of course, eating plenty of Steak Doubledillas.

This “SteakCation” is happening in Ontario, Canada for one night only. (This presumable level of purification can only happen so often). As for the lowly job of the Taco Bell Butler, we can only imagine his/her role is to fetch the food and drink. Even more depressing, the rules stipulate “Don’t feed the Taco Bell Butler.” Fingers crossed the “butler” is this guy:

If having diarrhea all night with three of your friends in close quarters sounds like a hoot, just hit the “Enter to Win” button on the official Airbnb page and get ready to answer an essay question about why you want to take a steakcation, which is probably best addressed while high.

 

World’s Coolest Dad Built His Daughter A Ninja Warrior Course

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Welcome to the American Ninja Warriors Denver City Finals, where Lylah competes on a ninja warrior course to a crowd of stuffed animals and a cheering post-edit crowd.

The tiny athlete, who’s rocking a “Girls Are Superstars” t-shirt, begins with the “quintuple steps,” and wow does she need some gloves or they’re gonna be picking splinters out of this kid for days. Then there’s the teeter pole and cargo climb, which appears to be a rope net propped up against a shed. She deftly scurries across a bowing plywood board spanning two sheds, and jumps the grocery cart that’s precariously perched on top. Honestly, what the hell dad, this is scary to watch.

After a one-handed zipline, a series of swings, and a warp wall run, Lylah finishes the course in two minutes, 23 seconds.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1OvD6y2FCI&hd=1

This is all possible because the kid has quite possibly the coolest dad ever. He’s the one behind all this incredible building. And, as you might guess, the ramps and other bad-assery don’t pay for themselves. That’s where this next part comes in: They’re running a GoFundMe campaign, the money from which will go toward building “new obstacles [and] get some scaffolding to experience new training techniques.” They’ve raised $252 so far, from 19 donations, and are trying to reach a $500 goal. Come on Lylah, daddy needs a new above-ground pool. That’d buy more than a few cans of shellac to finish all of that raw wood.

Somewhere in the world, there is likely a spouse either blissfully unaware of what’s happening in their backyard, or out of town for the weekend while these two created something amazing.

Either way, it’s fun to think about what other crazy hijinks these two can get into: sneaking off to Cabo to surf; burning an afternoon at the track; pulling a hustle and ripping off all of dad’s poker buddies. Oh, the fun they might have!

Watch: Big-Ass Brawl At Miami Chuck E. Cheese’s Captured On Video

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A multi-family fight broke out Saturday night at a Miami-area Chuck E. Cheese’s, according to the Miami Herald.

https://twitter.com/krvstel/status/782420716398444544

A bystander took the above 28-second video of the brawl and posted it to Twitter, where it’s since been retweeted over 2,000 times. The bystander told the Herald that the fight began when “one person was looking at them and instigating a problem then they went up to them and their families got involved.”

Several people were injured but no one was arrested, according to the bystander. She also said alcohol was likely a factor, despite the pizza chain’s two-drink limit.

In case you thought this was a one-time thing, or a phenomenon specific to Florida, The Washington Post notes there have been dozens of fights at Chuck E. Cheese’s in at least nine different states over the past few years. From the Post:

The Miami brawl was preceded by a massive fight at a Chuck E. Cheese’s just outside Pittsburgh in March that began with an argument between the parents of a 1-year-old and grew to include as many as 50 people,according to CBS affiliate KDKA.

A month earlier in Manchester, Conn., another fight broke out that spoiled five children’s birthday parties and resulted in a 1-year-old being knocked down, a 4-year-old being bruised and a senior citizen experiencing a panic attack, police told the New York Daily News.

In December, three people were arrested and charged after starting a fight that was captured on camera at a Louisiana Chuck E. Cheese’s, according to CBS affiliate KSLA.

But why have there been so many? In 2012, David Schwartz, a psychologist and professor at the University of Southern California, told ABC News that birthday parties are often “really emotional situations.”

“There’s frustration and provocation,” he said. “A parent will never be more ready to defend somebody than when they’re with their child.”

Combine that with alcohol and crowds, and you apparently have the perfect recipe for a big-ass fight.

Snaggletoothed Pug Given “Hometown Hero Award” After Rescuing His Family From A Fire

The night of August 29, as Todd Lavoie and Mikaela Sebree were asleep upstairs in their Meridian, Idaho home, sparks began flying from an outlet and power strip somewhere on their first floor. The sparks triggered a small fire, which, according to the Meridian fire department, would’ve spread and “greatly damaged” the home and its residents had Jaxson, the couple’s dignified and snaggletoothed pug, not come to the rescue.

Photo via City of Meridian
Photo via City of Meridian

Jaxson, 11, saw the sparks and began loudly barking in what was described to BuzzFeed News as an “irregular tone and cadence,” which caused his owners to rush downstairs. Lavoie spotted the fire and quickly extinguished it.

“Firefighters determined that if it were not for Jaxson, the house, its contents, lives, and memories would have been greatly damaged as Todd would not have been notified about the fire until the fire alarms were tripped,” a city spokesperson told BuzzFeed.

To reward him for his bravery, Meridian officials granted him the “Hometown Hero Award,” and firefighters gave him an honorary firefighter’s badge. Officials believe Jaxson is the first dog in town history to receive either.

Good job, Jaxson.

16 People, Places, And Things That Tried To Kill Fun

Fun is one tough mother-scratcher. How tough? Just consider the following times it came under assault, only to bounce back like the mother-scratching tough-ass thing it is. Fun is still around. It’s not going anywhere, current political climate be damned. All hail fun. And screw these other things.

1. Unicycles
Bicycles are perfectly fun, as is. Don’t fuck them up, please. Also: you look stupid riding that thing.

2. Watermelon salad
Why take a really, very delicious food and add other shit to it?*

3. Dabbing
It used to be cool and fun. Now it’s not:

4. Having a parrot on your shoulder
Are you a pirate? No? Didn’t think so.

5. Sorbet
What ice cream not fun enough for you?

6. Longboards
Nope, not fun. Kinda dumb, actually.

7. Sean Hannity
Even his colleagues don’t think he’s a real journalist. And broadcast journalists used to be fun, in a manner. They were people you wanted to hang out with. Walter Cronkite was fun, in a very sober way. Sean Hannity probably hates fun. Imagine hanging out with Sean Hannity.

8. Teeth
Without them, we’d never have to visit the dentist and could just drink smoothies all the time. So fun.

9. The sun
It should be fun but it’s so dangerous.

10. Ticks
Lyme disease, man. Fuck that.

11. Sweet cocktails
They may seem like your friend for a minute, but they aren’t.

12. Delaware
Be honest: when is the last time you had fun in Delaware?

13. Children
If anyone should just be having fun all the time and not complaining, it’s children. And yet.

14. Cubicles
And really, walls of all kinds. Just make it harder to see stuff. Not so fun.

15. Bars with televisions
Bars were invented to be places for people to come together, share some spirits, and talk. They were meant to be neighborhood meeting places for communities to discover who their neighbors are and to embrace one another—warts and bitters and all—in this struggle we call life. Putting a blaring, conversation-killing television in a bar is like making phones that no one uses to talk on. Oh, wait. Fuck.

16. This post
Yeah, sorry about all this bitching. We’re just feeling a little ornery over here at TFT headquarters today. Perhaps we had too many drinks, too many laughs, and not enough sleep last night. See, we had a Fresh Toast launch party last night. And you know what? It was fun.

*Contributed by Taylor Berman, who also hates it when you add pepper to his sandwich, without asking if he wants pepper. 

 

 

Tomoko: See A 70-Year-Old Pole Dancer Crush It On Stage, NBD

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Our bodies are incredible: No matter what age or size, they can do astounding things, as this Italia’s Got Talent contestant proves.

When Tomoko was five years old, she saw Carmen on TV. She moved to Italy from Japan 43 years ago to study opera, and stayed in the country to work in theatre. Tomoko “was” a singer and actress, she says, but what is she now? “I’m 70,” she shrugs.

After enduring a series of racist insinuations from the judges (Luciana Littizzetto grills her about her Italian grammar and asks “Do you put painkillers in your sushi?”) Tomoko slips out of her kimono with a badass flourish and what’s hidden behind a screen in the background is revealed: A pole. She leaps on and begins an incredibly challenging two minute routine, set to Florence and the Machine’s “Leave My Body.”

“What are you? What about sciatica and osteoporosis?” asks Littizzetto, who cannot let the weirdly intrusive questions go. “But I still have trouble with Italian verbs,” Tomoko snarks back through tears of joy. Get ’em, Tomoko.

[h/t R29]

‘Give It A Butt Rope:’ How God Made Animals, According To Twitter

Ever look at a platypus and wonder: now how did that happen? A bill for a face, really? Once you start questioning it, you wonder how all animals were created, or at least why evolution stopped there exactly.

Thank goodness for Twitter, then, as we now have explanations for how all animals were made. The culprit behind the calamities might surprise you, though.

https://twitter.com/astamate/status/755807844004429824

https://twitter.com/Feebie_Jean/status/756669586515357696

https://twitter.com/johnfilmer/status/766557630890319872

https://twitter.com/jonathanmonro/status/777188820039135232

https://twitter.com/themiltron/status/585656921962721281

https://twitter.com/freed4nte/status/778943224543113216

https://twitter.com/Ygrene/status/715531700906778627

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