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Watch This Weed Company Spoof Awkward Prescription TV Ads

Brendan Bures
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Watch This Weed Company Spoof Awkward Prescription TV Ads

Advertisements from big pharmaceutical companies tend to be formulaic. They usually feature a soothing woman’s voiceover, footage of over-the-top fake joy, and innuendo of old people getting it on. This is why so often they’re ripe for parody by writers on SNL and the like. (Just watch the “Swiftamine” segment, a vertigo medicine for adults who tragically learn they love Taylor Swift.)

To announce their “Discover” cannabis delivery box, Briteside decided to follow in that spoofing tradition. Just like those drug commercials, this one might have you believing you have those vague symptoms described, though you’ll probably be laughing too.

“Sometimes life can be a little overwhelming,” says the voiceover. “Sometimes the weight of the world can be too much to bear. Sometimes you need to stop worrying and take a deep breath.

“Sometimes you need cannabis.”

The delivery service advertises users “choosing the experience you want,” and in exchange they’ll send you the “dankest dank” and “the real sticky icky.” Be warned, side effects may include “euphoria, increased appetite, uncontrollable giggle, elevated sensitivity to musical dopeness, and reduced anxiety.”

If that weren’t enough, the parody also ‘warns’ (in big scare quotes) that “tetrahydrocannabinol may also induce existential feelings of well-being and relentless optimism.”

Just in case you were worried this might actually be an SNL parody or random internet meme, Briteside “is a real company.” If curious of using the Oregon-based cannabis delivery company, you can learn more about Briteside here.

Here Are 5 Super-Expensive Liquors That Will Blow Your Holiday Budget

Maria Loreto
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Here Are 5 Super-Expensive Liquors That Will Blow Your Holiday Budget

Alcohol is always pretty pricey, especially when you compare it to other things available on markets and delis. Distilled spirits, such as the following, also have a much higher tax rates than good old beer and wine. Why? Because the world is unfair and doesn’t want you to have nice things. They also contain better ingredients and stuff.

There are all sorts of fancy spirits out there, but the following 5 take the lead in eccentricity and, we assume, delicious flavor.

Here are 5 super expensive spirit bottles that you won’t even believe exist. But they do:

Patrón en Lalique – $7,500

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According to TheDailyBeast.com, there are only 299 bottles of this tequila available. It also comes in the world’s most beautiful bottle made from the best crystal company in France. Lalique is well regarded for specializing in building the world’s most beautiful and exclusive crystal decorations. We hope that the contents can measure up to the bottle. 

Bowmore 1966 – $30,000

This bottle of whisky has been aging for over 50 years and there are only 75 of them available in the world. Super exclusive.

Armand de Brignac Midas – $200,000

Owned by Jay-Z , obviously, this 30L bottle of champagne is painted in gold and is perfect for an all night millionaire rager. The standard size bottle is only worth 300 dollars, if you’re thinking of splurging a little or on impressing your date. We don’t judge.

The Dalmore 62 – $215,000

Known as the most expensive whisky in the world, this drink was finally released in 2012 after spending 62 years in the making. So much patience. There are only 12 bottles on the world, so maybe you can buy one and then sell it in a couple of years for double the price. Seems like a sound investment. It’s not like you have to be rich or anything. 

Diva Vodka – $1 Million

Like, why? What could possibly be in this vodka that’s worth a million bucks? It’s triple distilled, made with spring water, then filtered through charcoal and finally filtered through sand that was made from diamonds and gemstones. No, I didn’t just made that up. Also, the bottle is adorned with a lot of diamonds.

This Is How Many Times You Need To Have Sex A Week To Slow Aging

Amy Hansen
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This Is How Many Times You Need To Have Sex A Week To Slow Aging

Small and short can explain a lot of things when it comes to sex. In this instance, it refers to a study that was conducted to see how many times a week you’d need to have sex in order to slow aging.

The study lasted a week and involved just 129 women — mothers, more specifically— in relationships.

Researchers from the University of California in San Francisco found that women who had sex at least once during that monitored week had significantly longer telomeres. While that sounds potentially kinky, telomeres are very unsexy nucleoprotein caps at the end of DNA strands that protect chromosomes from deteriorating (i.e. aging).

Interestingly enough, longer telomeres were expressly tied to sex, not relationship or sexual satisfaction, as the study notes:

Analyses revealed no statistically significant associations of telomere length with current relationship satisfaction, daily support or conflict, or perceived stress. In contrast, women who reported any sexual intimacy during the course of the week had significantly longer telomeres measured in whole blood and PBMCs, but not in granulocytes.

Telomeres naturally break down in body from aging and not taking care of one’s health (too many drugs, cigarettes, alcohol, fast food, etc). But this study suggests that if you give your body a little TLC, including weekly sex, you can perhaps live longer.

The study concludes that this is just preliminary data that sexual intimacy is associated with longer telomere length and that future studies investigating these associations are warranted.

https://giphy.com/gifs/ready-shannon-beador-im-to-sex-it-up-26BkLNDbrgc9clBa8

(h/t Insider)

Watch Roger Federer, Style Icon, Play Tennis In A Scottish Kilt

Brendan Bures
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Watch Roger Federer, Style Icon, Play Tennis In A Scottish Kilt

Roger Federer is a style icon. He looks good in practically everything and updated the stodgy, boring tradition of tennis club wear over the years of his career. He’s produced the coolest tennis sneakers from a tennis star outside Stan Smith.

And now Federer is making wearing a kilt kind of fresh.

Federer and fellow tennis superstar Andy Murray played one another in a charity match Tuesday. The game was held in Glasgow, and the proceedings took on a rather Scottish flavoring.

It began with a slight cajoling from Federer to his opponent. Murray left a tin of his Granny’s shortbread cookies in Federer’s locker room as a gift. This caused Federer to joke this was Murray’s usual pregame ritual. Murray played along saying he needed to add a fried Mars bar as an additional snack.

The players soon entered the arena to warm up and welcome the crowd. At some point Federer announced that if someone had a kilt for him, he’d wear it during the match.

Guess what: someone had a damn kilt.

The fun didn’t end there. By match end Murray was wearing a see-you jimmy hat, trying to maintain the Scottish vibes floating around the court.

Federer won the match, but I think it’s safe to say the real winners were us.

Emmanuel Macron Smells Weed, Tells Kids ‘Won’t Help With Your Schoolwork’

Brendan Bures
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Emmanuel Macron Smells Weed, Tells Kids ‘Won’t Help With Your Schoolwork’

When French president Emmanuel Macron was visiting French Guiana, only to discover what locals really smoke down there. Posing with locals in the territory’s capital Cayenne Friday night, Macro sniffed a whiff of marijuana smoke in the air.

Macron joked with the crowd that he still has a nose.

“So, there are some of you who do not only smoke cigarettes, huh?” he can be heard saying in a Facebook video posted to the president’s page.

“That will not help with your schoolwork,” he continued. “”You have to tell the youngest!”

The funny moment came at the end of Macron’s 48-hour visit to the South American territory, which borders Brazil. Not all was pleasant as Macron did stir some controversy with locals, when he denied further state aid, saying he was not “Father Christmas.”

Macron made headlines this summer when he announced legislation to end prison terms for marijuana consumers. The legislation was a key part of Macron’s presidential campaign in the country.

However, the law does stop short of fully decriminalizing the drug. According to Euronews, France remains one of six countries in the EU that continues to criminalize use of marijuana.

This Company Is A Diversity Forerunner In The Cannabis Space

Mary Schumacher
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This Company Is A Diversity Forerunner In The Cannabis Space

Green Thumb Industries (GTI) is a company that creates cannabis cultivation centers and retail locations that go far beyond customer friendly services. GTI and its members have vision, passion and sincerity that they utilize in the communities they serve and the communities that are underserved. They believe that diversity not only drives good decision making and good change, but that it bolsters communities that are otherwise overlooked or often even persecuted.

Director and CEO Pete Kadens is passionate about cannabis law reform, though practically a teetotaler himself. He led a fairly blessed life, but became fascinated by poverty and disenfranchisement at a very young age. He and his wife pay life forward at every opportunity, and though his last endeavor was a clean cut career in solar panels – to great success, he chose a career in the yet murky world of cannabis because he knew the numbers. He knew that black and brown persons were being persecuted much more heavily than whites and he saw first hand the way that lives can be ruined over a victimless joint.

“At GTI we believe that many segments of the population can benefit from cannabis,” said Kadens, “Many of those same populations have been castigated for their use of cannabis within the correctional system. It’s not enough to right a wrong strictly through exoneration. We possess the profound belief that minority communities that have been disproportionately impacted by the war on drugs should be able to profit from this industry.”

Which is what GTI is all about: true diversity in the industry. “The benefit of diversity is usually not realized until years down the road when you step back and see the smorgasbord of concepts that your company executed on that were a direct result of the cross pollination of good ideas that stemmed from employing a diverse base of people,” explained Kadens, “We love the opportunity to think and act differently which is why we are a diverse company at our core.”

Dina Rollman, Esq. is the Chief Compliance Officer for GTI and the founder and President of Illinois Women In Cannabis, a not-for-profit that enables women to take leadership roles in the cannabis industry and have their voices heard as loudly and clearly as the men in the room. Even in an industry as diverse as cannabis, white males dominate the market. Rollman is determined to change that dynamic as much as she’s determined to provide clean, safe, compliant medicine to patients across the country.

“I first got involved in May 2014 when I helped GTI apply for cultivation and dispensary licenses in Illinois,” said Rollman. “It was exciting to me that the Illinois industry had been framed out on paper through the statute and regulations but that it would be up to the license-holders – and their lawyers – to make this brand-new industry a reality.”

GTI has had great success in the industry due to their solid gold team, including partner and former NFL player Eugene Monroe, who grew up the youngest of 16 children in the projects near Newark, NJ. He climbed over many obstacles to make it to the NFL and now he is part of a team helping others change their situations for the better as well.

Clean, compliant cannabis, social activism and diversity are the driving forces behind GTI and they are one company that has walked the walk since inception. Trusted, tried and true, you need only read GTI testimonials to see that they’re getting things done and done the right way. Kadens expounded, “While we must work within the confines of each state’s regulatory structure, it is our goal to lift diverse communities out of poverty and give them a purpose and a chance to succeed over the long term.”

The Fresh Toast Marijuana Legislative Roundup: Nov. 13

Alec Engber
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The Fresh Toast Marijuana Legislative Roundup: Nov. 13

Last week began with a stinging disappointment for Maine cannabis consumers when the Maine legislature failed to override Gov. Paul LePage’s veto that effectively stymied the state’s recreational marijuana law.

But the week ended on a positive note when New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo signed a bill allowing PTSD as a qualifying condition for medical marijuana. Read all about these developments and more in The Fresh Toast’s Marijuana Legislative Roundup for Nov. 13. 

Maine:  

On Monday, the Maine legislature failed to override Governor Paul LePage’s veto of a bill to implement recreational marijuana legalization in the state. The bill was the result of months of negotiations by a special committee tasked with implementing Maine’s voter-approved recreational cannabis law.  

It would have increased the sales tax on marijuana from 10 percent to 20 percent, required municipalities to “opt-in” to the state’s legal cannabis market, and made a number of changes to the way cannabis is regulated at the state level. LePage cited concerns over public safety and uncertainty regarding federal policy toward state legalization efforts to justify his veto. The governor, who has been a vocal critic of marijuana legalization, had previously supported legislation that would have pushed the start of recreational sales back to 2019 to give lawmakers more time to finalize a regulatory framework.   

The legislature has already extended the moratorium on cannabis sales to February 2018, though this is likely to be extended until at least 2019 while a new regulatory bill is crafted. It has been legal to grow and possess marijuana in Maine since February.  

Massachusetts: 

On Monday, legislation was introduced to the Massachusetts House that would make a number of reforms to the state’s criminal justice system, and allow some prior convictions to be expunged. The bill would allow those with past convictions for crimes that are no longer illegal in the state, such as possession of small amounts of marijuana, to petition the court for expungement. Massachusetts law allows adult possession of up to an ounce of marijuana in public and up to 10 ounces at home. Adults are also allowed to grow up to six plants at home, or a maximum of 12 plants for households with more than one adult.  

Debate is set to begin on the legislation this week, followed by negotiations with members of the state Senate, which passed a less sweeping criminal justice reform bill last month.   

 North Dakota: 

On Monday, the North Dakota Department of Health proposed a set of administrative rules to implement the state’s voter-approved medical marijuana law. The Department will be taking public comment on the rules, which govern areas including testing, security, and transportation, through December 15. A finalized set of regulations will then go before the state legislature.

The Health Department expects to begin accepting applications from growers, dispensaries, doctors, and caregivers in April 2018 at the earliest, with medical marijuana sales starting sometime next fall. The North Dakota Compassionate Care Act approved by voters in 2016 allows patients suffering from 17 medical conditions, or any terminal illness, to obtain medical marijuana authorization.  

 South Dakota: 

On Monday, a marijuana advocacy group submitted enough signatures to place a medical cannabis measure on the ballot for 2018. The proposal would allow patients with one of several qualifying conditions to obtain a permit allowing them to legally possess up to three ounces of cannabis. The list includes severe conditions such as AIDS, cancer, and hepatitis C. The group was unable to gather enough signatures for a separate measure to legalize marijuana for recreational use.  

 New York: 

On Saturday, Governor Andrew Cuomo signed a bill to expand the list of qualifying conditions for medical marijuana to include PTSD. The list also includes severe debilitating or life-threatening conditions such as AIDS, cancer, Parkinson’s, and epilepsy. The legislation took effect immediately.

Chinese Companies Are Developing The Hell Out Of Electric Cars

Maria Loreto
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Chinese Companies Are Developing The Hell Out Of Electric Cars

While there are still no flying cars in the foreseeable future, vehicles and the way in which we move from place to place will hopefully change for the better in the coming years. Autonomous vehicles, electric cars, and Hyperloops, are all terms that are being discussed and that we assume we’ll see in our lifetimes, changing the problematic and time consuming ways in which we commute. these companies from all over the world are propelled by the fact that cars are damaging our ecosystem. In short, people are scared.  

China is one of these pioneering countries looking into the development of this technology, having several companies that are developing electric vehicles that are more efficient and less harmful to the planet. Mashable reports that companies such as BYD, the largest producer of battery powered vehicles, are paving the future of China within the automobile industry. Another company such as this one is Kandi Technologies, who recently shifted their entire production into only developing electric vehicles. 

In the US, Elon Musk has also been striving to innovate within the automobile industry, developing electric cars with Tesla and trying to create the world’s first Hyperloop, which will consist of a set of underground tunnels that could facilitate a 29 minute trip from Washington to New York. His company just started to dig tunnels and run trials; let’s see if it happens.

Now if someone would just build a flying car. Or at least a functioning hover board. We’ve already been to the moon guys, it can’t be that hard.

Marijuana Can Delay Onset And Prolong Survival In ALS Patients

Kent Gruetzmacher
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Marijuana Can Delay Onset And Prolong Survival In ALS Patients

Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, “ALS” for short, is also known as Lou Gehrig’s Disease. When the famous baseball player Lou Gehrig contracted ALS he experienced a rapid deterioration of his nervous system which resulted in severe loss of muscle control. All victims of ALS share in Lou’s unfortunate physical demise, a deterioration of the body that exhibits in loss of muscle control in the face and neck, speech alterations, and “loss of control of [the] tongue”. Even more troubling, ALS is considered an aggressively corrosive disease, usually taking patient’s lives within three to five years of its onset—almost always within 10 years. ALS has no cure and always takes the lives of its victims.

Medicinal Cannabis

The amount of medicinal applications of marijuana cannot be overstated—every year the medical establishment (whether traditional or holistic) discovers more uses for this marvelous plant. Moreover, cannabis “has been used throughout the world for more than 5,000 years to treat various medical ailments, and is one of the 50 fundamental herbs of Traditional Chinese Medicine”. For those who have experienced fatal, degenerative diseases such as ALS within their personal lives the idea of a non-addictive, relatively harmless natural medicine is long overdue. That being said, while cannabis cannot cure ALS it can greatly improve the quality of life for those whom suffer from this awful sickness. To illustrate, a scholarly work titled “Cannabis Use in Palliative Care” in the Journal of Clinical Nursing reports that medical marijuana can “be moderately effective in reducing appetite loss, depression, pain, muscular spasticity, drooling and weakness…with the longest relief reported for depression.”

There have never been any official, medically sanctioned tests done on the effectiveness of cannabis treating symptoms of ALS in humans. However, there have been tests on laboratory animals as well as personal testaments as to the validity of cannabis as a medicine in relations to ALS. For starters, numerous ALS patients have testified that “using medical cannabis has enabled them to live from 5 to 15 years after their initial diagnoses” of the disease. The startling number is significantly higher than the 3-5 year life expectancy that is the norm for a majority of ALS victims. To bring it back to laboratory testing, the California Pacific Medical Center reports “that administering THC to mice in with a genetic defect predisposing them to ALS delayed the onset of the disease and prolonged survival.” Interestingly enough, medical authorities feel that the same effects of cannabis on the physiological characteristics of ALS-like predisposed mice can be attributed to human patients. With all things considered, some carefully conducted, government sanctioned studies into the validity of therapeutic cannabis as an ALS relief medication could be a serious boon for the medical community.

Here Is How Medical Marijuana Can Help Sufferers Of Dystonia

Richard Faulk
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Here Is How Medical Marijuana Can Help Sufferers Of Dystonia

Dystonia literally means “poor stretching” (although Liddell and Scott tell me it could also mean a “lamentable condition,” which is true enough, if vague for a medical term). It is a neurological disorder characterized by prolonged, sometimes painful, contractions that contort the limbs, neck, face, even the vocal cords.

You remember that Donald Trump bit where he mocks the disabled reporter? That’s dystonia.

Dystonia is the third most common motor disorder, after Parkinson’s disease and tremor, and it affects some 300,000 people in North America. It can appear on its own or as a symptom of Parkinson’s, Huntington’s, or other neurological diseases.

Related Story: Watch What Happens When This Parkinson’s Patient Smokes Marijuana

Cannabis has shown to have some positive effect on spasms and ticks, but the literature directly addressing dystonia is small, and it is limited to case reports (like this positive one) and preclinical studies (like this negative one)—which means that any findings carry no statistical weight.

A 2015 review of cannabis research for a variety of motor impediments, while optimistic in general, concludes that as far as dystonia is concerned: “benefit was not established beyond individual patients.” Nevertheless, it holds out hope that cannabis might “possibly” have a role in treatment.

Related Story: Here is Clinical Evidence That Marijuana Fights Epilepsy

Despite its thumbs down assessment, the report is an excellent primer for the whole branch of research. It deals directly with the complexity of the endocannabinoid system in a way that makes explicable researchers’ often contradictory findings——though, of course, without resolving them either.

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