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Our 5 Favorite ‘Game Of Thrones’ Food Moments So Far

George R.R. Martin really likes food, if “Game of Thrones” is any indication. A Song of Ice And Fire, the book series GoT is based on, is full of descriptions that serve as better food porn than whatever post your stroll past on Instagram. His fantastic world-building begins with the food, the very fuel that motivates his characters forward.

Just read this description from a wedding feast in A Dance With Dragons:

The Lord of White Harbor had furnished the food and drink, black stout and yellow beer and wines red and gold and purple, brought up from the warm south on fat-bottomed ships and aged in his deep cellars. The wedding guests gorged on cod cakes and winter squash, hills of neeps and great round wheels of cheese, on smoking slabs of mutton and beef ribs charred almost black, and lastly on three great wedding pies, as wide across as wagon wheels, their flaky crusts stuffed to bursting with carrots, onions, turnips, parsnips, mushrooms, and chunks of seasoned pork swimming in a savory brown gravy.

Did you climax? Because I did.

There are travel and food writers, whose very job predicates them writing well about gastronomy, who can’t pull that off. Martin’s food writing is in a class with Ernest Hemingway about this stuff. So in honor of the upcoming Game of Thrones season, we wanted to mention some of the best food moments from the series. Remember that without Martin, none of this possible. Thanks dude.

Daenerys Targaryen Eats A Stallion Heart

This was one of the first moments when we realized Daenerys Targaryen wouldn’t be stopped. As Dothraki legend goes, if she can eat the entire raw horse heart, Daenerys will give birth to a healthy son. This is like the 17th weirdest thing about Dothraki tradition, but Dany does what she must.

Red And Purple Wedding

You do not need my recap of why both the Red Wedding and Purple Wedding are absolute bonkers. Watching both is an exercise in disbelief, in shattering of fantasy narrative tropes long held. You can’t believe they’d actually do that.

But my favorite moment of the Red Wedding in the books is how even as the action turns to 12, he still sneaks in a great food description. “Ser Wendel crashed forward, knocking the table off its trestles and sending cups, flagons, trenchers, platters, turnips, beets, and wine bouncing, spilling, and sliding across the floor,” he writes. The tragedy is as much about the lost lives as the lost food.

Margaery Asks Cersei If She Wants Some Wine

This is the coldest shade in the series. Allow me to transcribe the above moment for you. The newlywedded Margaery is enjoying some treats and drinks as her new mother-in-law Cersei approaches. Her greeting: “Can we bring you anything to eat or drink. I wish we had some wine for you. It’s a bit early in the day for us.” Too cold.

Sansa Stark And Lemon Cakes

Imagine everyone winning your favor with the food you love. What Game of Thrones realizes—what George R.R. Martin understands—is the sensuality of food and drink. How your consumption affects your internal feelings on those around you. How food can seduce and bribe and confuse you. Multiple characters use lemon cakes to bring Sansa closer to them, both for good and bad intentions.

Ramsay Bolton Eating Pork Sausage

“Do you think I’m some sort of savage?” That is how Ramsay cements his legacy as the series most sinister villains. Watching him eat that pork sausage after he just castrated Theon is what the show does best. Sensuality mixed with oddly erotic subtext. Just like a good meal, right?

How To Make Your Own Coachella-Inspired Cannabis Crown

Music festivals and summer go together like, well, weed and music festivals.

And with music festivals comes flower child appeal, like DIY crowns. Why not combine the two? With a cannabis crown adorning your head, you’ll be able to smoke the accessory once you’re done with it for the season. Sustainability and all that. (Just make sure you Instagram it first, or it never happened.)

https://www.instagram.com/p/BSr8LKZBM4y

Here’s a super simple tutorial that requires just 5 household items, including your stash:

  • Floral tape
  • Floral wire
  • Fresh flowers/greens of your choice
  • Wire cutters
  • 2-4 grams of your favorite strain

Step 1: measure you head by wrapping the floral wire around your head, like you would with a measuring tape. Leave 1 to 2 additional inches on each end for wrapping and cut the wire. Tape the circle shut with floral tape.

Step 2: Continue wrapping the tape around the rest of the crown for a more natural feel.

Step 3: Cut the flower stems so they’re short enough to adhere to your crown and long enough to tape (approx. 1-2 inches).

Step 4: Tape the stems to the crown, arranging however you’d like. Don’t forget to throw some weed nugs in there, too!

Pro-tip: If you’re having trouble getting your buds and their short stems to adhere, remove the bottom leaves to make more room on the stem. 

And there you have it. Your own smokeable headdress! Enjoy responsibly.

Gossip: Rob Kardashian Claims Blac Chyna Tried To Strangle Him; Daniel Craig Coming Back As James Bond

Rob Kardashian is responding to Blac Chyna’s restraining order with allegations of domestic violence of his own.

Chyna told the judge at her restraining order hearing this morning that back in April Rob was mad at her and began speaking poorly of her in front of her son, King.

When she asked him to stop she says Rob screamed,

“I can say whatever the f*** I want!” and then grabbed her phone, pushed her to the ground, “aggressively shoving me by the side of my arm and hitting me on the thigh.”

She says she fell to the ground and when she got up she was bruised and could barely walk. Chyna also says she has been fully broken up with Rob since last December, adding, “Rob has been violent with me in the past and I am afraid to be around him.”

There’s another incident where she claims Rob hit her to the ground and she ran to her bedroom before he broke the door open. Chyna claims she has photos and pictures of the incident.

As for Rob, he says that day in December when Chyna moved out that she tried choking him with an iPhone cord and tried hitting him with a metal rod. Corey Gamble walked in and physically pulled Chyna off of Rob. She then went through the house smashing televisions, doors, and other items causing $35,000 in damage. Rob has video of the incident, but if you recall the aftermath was also documented on ‘Keeping Up with the Kardashian’ cameras and aired a few months back.

In what might be the most important component of Rob’s defense, Rob’s lawyers have texts from when Chyna moved out and she told a friend that Rob would never hit her.

Rob’s lawyer says they’re not fighting the restraining order and Rob agrees that ‘slut-shaming’ Chyna was a regrettable decision. His only concern now is baby Dream.

Daniel Craig Coming Back As James Bond

Daniel Craig has changed his mind and is set to sign up for his fifth Bond movie – with Adele lined up to join him. The actor, 48, claimed he would “rather slash my wrists” than play 007 again but his U-turn came after a host of British stars were tipped to replace him.

The Wire star Idris Elba, Peaky Blinders’ Tom Hardy, Happy Valley villain James Norton and Poldark’s Aidan Turner were all contenders. But Bond producer Barbara Broccoli is said to have secured Craig – and we can reveal she is “determined” that superstar singer Adele will record the theme tune.

The partnership made 2012’s Skyfall the most profitable Bond ever with takings of £885 million. Her song Skyfall was the first Bond theme to win at the Brit Awards, Grammy Awards and Golden Globes. Although Adele had to cancel the final two shows of her world tour because of damaged vocal chords, Barbara is said to be “talking the singer round”. She believes “Bond25” can start filming next year and will be a sure fire hit.

A source involved in the project said: “Craig and Adele together are the winning team, the ultimate choice, the money spinners. It’s taken time but Daniel has come round and the strong con–sensus in the Bond offices is that Mr Craig is 007 again. As for Adele, she’s more of an unknown quantity but loved being part of Bond, so the signs are positive.”

The insider said Craig’s actress wife Rachel Weisz, 47, is “on board with the decision” for him to spend a year away filming. Craig claimed in 2015 that if he did play the spy again “it would be for the money.” He was said to have been offered up to £120million for two more films. Skyfall and Spectre scriptwriter John Logan is also said to be involved in the project.
[From The Daily Mirror]

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Nevada Running Out Of Marijuana, Statement Of Emergency Declared

Marijuana sales have been legal in Nevada for just over one week and already the stores can’t keep up with the demand.

Late last week, officials from the state’s Department of Taxation made the surprising announcement that Gov. Brian Sandoval endorsed the department’s “statement of emergency.” State officials will meet this Thursday to consider adopting an emergency regulation that could solve the problem.

It’s not just your basic supply-and-demand economic principles at play here. According to the Reno Gazette-Journal:

As the state law legalizing recreational marijuana was passed in November, wholesale alcohol distributors were promised exclusive rights to transport wholesale marijuana for the first 18 months of legal sales. Since November, the state has received seven applications from liquor wholesalers.

The department tried to address the issue earlier this year by opening the application process up to the businesses that have been transporting medical marijuana and other marijuana businesses, but an 11th hour court battle ended in an order only to accept applications from wholesale alcohol distributors. The taxation department since appealed the court’s decision.

Now that any marijuana dispensary licensed to sell recreational marijuana must receive all product — both recreational and medical — from a distributor licensed to transport recreational marijuana, many of them are stuck with dwindling supplies of flower and edibles both.

Thursday’s hearing will examine the stranglehold distributors have on the process.

“Based on reports of adult-use marijuana sales already far exceeding the industry’s expectations at the state’s 47 licensed retail marijuana stores, and the reality that many stores are running out of inventory, the Department must address the lack of distributors immediately. Some establishments report the need for delivery within the next several days,” said department spokeswoman Stephanie Klapstein.

Riana Durrett, executive director of the Nevada Dispensary Association, estimated sales of around $3 million during the first four days of business.

Fictional Whiskey: 5 Great Scenes Of Literary Imbibing

Plenty of great writers, including the ones on this list, have been whiskey drinkers—and unsurprisingly, whiskey also has a tendency to show up in their books. Here’s a short rundown of some boozy moments in literature, classic and otherwise:

John Steinbeck

Whiskey makes an appearance in several of Steinbeck’s books, including his magnum opus, The Grapes of Wrath. Tom Joad drains a pint in the early chapters as he makes his way back to the family homestead. His uncle John, meanwhile, has a well-known proclivity for whiskey and “jake,” an infamous Prohibition-era patent medicine that was both mostly alcohol and known to cause nerve damage.

Ernest Hemingway

Well-known alcoholic Ernest Hemingway was fond of many drinks, and while most people probably associate him with daiquiris or absinthe, he was also a prodigious whiskey drinker. Supposedly his real-life drink of choice was a scotch and soda, and that drink appears more frequently in his writing than any other—notably in The Snows of Kilimanjaro. In the autobiographical A Moveable Feast, he pounds quite a few whiskeys between rounds of smack-talk about F. Scott Fitzgerald and Gertrude Stein.

James Bond

The best-known Bond drink may be a vodka martini (say it with me: shaken, not stirred), but over the years, the MI6 agent has also indulged in plenty of whiskey. Although several of the Bond films feature Talisker or Macallan, in the books, he often drank bourbon, a choice that was apparently based on Ian Fleming’s real-life preference for American whiskey.

Supposedly, Fleming switched from gin to bourbon on the advice of his doctor, who thought it might be marginally less damaging to his ailing heart.

William Faulkner

Like his contemporary, Hemingway, the southern gothic master drank constantly; unlike Hemingway, who preferred to write “cold,” Faulkner’s writing was fueled by bourbon, corn whiskey, and mint juleps. Whiskey features in his writing, too: Joe Christmas, a central character in his 1932 novel Light in August, is a bootlegger in the Prohibition-era south.

The Hunger Games

Katniss Everdeen, the heroine of this dystopian YA series, hails from a post-apocalyptic Appalachia, re-designated District 12 by the authoritarian Capital. Besides imagining it as a coal-mining hub, author Suzanne Collins gives another nod to the area’s real-life history: in Catching Fire, several characters, including Katniss herself, are depicted drinking moonshine (referred to as “white liquor” in the book).

This article originally appeared on The Whiskey Wash.

The Fresh Toast Marijuana Legislative Roundup: July 10

Marijuana reform slowed to a crawl last week in Massachusetts and Florida. In Massachusetts, negotiations between the state House and Senate to reconcile cannabis bills were suspended. And in Florida, a lawsuit was filed challenging the state’s ban on smoking marijuana for medical patients. Read all about this and more in our weekly marijuana legislative roundup,

Massachusetts:

On Wednesday, House Speaker Robert DeLeo temporarily suspended negotiations between members of the state House and Senate to reconcile the recreational marijuana bills passed by the two chambers. In June, the state House of Representatives passed legislation to repeal and replace the recreational marijuana law passed by voters in November.

The House bill would effectively raise taxes on marijuana sales from 12 percent to 28 percent, remove the authority of municipal voters to regulate the opening of cannabis retailers, and impose more stringent regulations on recreational cannabis than the ballot measure intended.

The Senate bill, meanwhile, would change the way marijuana is regulated at the state level, require municipal referenda on the opening of recreational retailers, and expunge past convictions for marijuana possession. With lawmakers close to a deal on the state’s budget, negotiators hope to resume talks in the near future.

 Oregon:

On Thursday, the Oregon Senate passed a bill to modify the state’s recreational marijuana system. If signed by Governor Kate Brown, H.B. 2198 would create an Oregon Cannabis Commission to oversee the state’s medical and recreational cannabis regulations. The OCC would be comprised of representatives from various stakeholder groups and would operate under the Oregon Health Authority.

The bill would also allow thousands of Oregon medical marijuana dispensaries to sell a maximum of 20 pounds of excess product each into the recreational marijuana market. Additionally, the measure would allow cannabis retailers to operate within 1,000 feet of schools if a physical barrier exists to prevent children from wandering onto the premises.

 Florida:

On Thursday, a lawsuit was filed that challenges Florida’s ban on smoking medical marijuana. In June, Governor Rick Scott signed a bill to implement the constitutional amendment passed by voters in November allowing patients with certain debilitating medical conditions to seek treatment with cannabis. Among other restrictions, the bill forbids patients from smoking marijuana.

Critics say that smoking may be the easiest and most effective means of consuming cannabis for patients with ALS and other severe conditions. The suit was brought by a trial lawyer named John Morgan, who was also the leading backer of the 2016 ballot measure.

 Maryland:

On Wednesday, the Maryland Medical Cannabis Commission approved the first medical marijuana dispensary license in the state. The move allowed the Wellness Institute of Maryland to open its doors effective immediately, though it is not expected to have any product in stock for several months while licenses for growers and distributors are awarded.

Last year, the state awarded 15 preliminary grower licenses and 15 preliminary processor licenses. However, if the state does not provide final licenses by August 15, the Commission could revoke their permission to operate in Maryland. The Wellness Institute began taking pre-orders on Thursday.

Also on Thursday, Maryland Governor Larry Hogan overhauled the Maryland Medical Cannabis Commission by appointing 10 new members to the 16-member panel. The Commission has been criticized for failing to get the state’s medical cannabis system off the ground and potentially abusing taxpayer funds while awarding contracts to outside consulting groups.

5 Ways To Infuse That Fancy Cheese Plate With Marijuana

Making a cheese plate for a cannabis connoisseur is definitely limited to what you can have with your cheese. Adding cannabis to cheese is much trickier than dosing all of your accoutrement. Hopefully one day we find a way to have medicated cheeses that don’t get any dairy animals high in the process.

The best lazy-fancy dinner is the cheese plate. Stocking up on little pleasures like nuts, gherkins, jams and olives can make the mundane into the supreme as quickly as you can slice some smoked Gouda. For optimal variety, always choose cheeses of different hardness and undertones, and don’t underestimate cheeses that seem unfriendly to non-savory pairing, like pecorino or feta.

Photo by Danielle Guercio

Make The Most Of Mustard

Gourmet-ify and add that bitter and spice hit that is so necessary with medicated mustard. Simply add a dash (¼ oz or so) of glycerin tincture* to your favorite kind.

The sweetness will amp up the taste and be slightly reminiscent of a honey mustard. It will play that much more harmoniously with nutty, milky cheeses like raclette and Swiss.

Photo by Danielle Guercio

Olives Are Essential Eats

Quick tapenade is had by simply mashing all of the things you’d like to add to compliment olives. Cannahacking it happens when you add a shot (1 oz) of cannabis olive oil* to the blend. Add garlic cloves, herbs, and mash in a mortar until you have the paste of the gods.

Photo by Danielle Guercio

Turn Up The Jam

Sweet things go with cheese plates like beer and pizza. Peach and raspberry are excellent store bought. That’s where you add a smidge (1/8th oz per ½ cup) of glycerin tincture* to the jam. Spoon onto funky cheeses like Brie.

Photo by Danielle Guercio

CannaCrackers

We’ve covered crackers before, stuffed with cheese and olives, but they’re such a simple recipe that becoming proficient is really a worthy skill.

You can use any cannabis oil or butter* you have on hand to make crackers for your cheese plate. Within 30 minutes and with literally any combination of herbs, spices, or oil that you’re into.

Photo by Danielle Guercio

Nuts For Hash Nuts

Make a standard candied nuts recipe, throw in some decarboxylated concentrate, hash, or kief at the end. Boom. Just keep the dosing chill if you want to be able to actually munch them.

*Cannabis Infused Liquids

Decarboxylate 3.5g of finely ground cannabis at 225 degrees for 20 minutes in a tightly sealed, oven safe container. Put in lidded mason jar or vacuum sealed bag with cannabis and four ounces of desired base. Heat in water bath just under boiling for at least 1 hour. Strain and chill to use in recipes.

Photo by Danielle Guercio

Upgrade your cheese plate to the outer limits with these tips, you won’t regret it and if you medicate gently, you can eat the entire thing if you are into that sort of thing. Not only will this plate be seemingly bougie and high end, it will be full of the cannabinoids that can make your smile wider and laugh louder. Who doesn’t want to laugh over a cheese plate with friends?

Photos: Danielle Guercio

Gossip: Gwyneth Paltrow Shilling Illuminati Conspiracies; Celebrity Jeweler Reveals Blac Chyna Tried To Charge $300,000 To Rob Days Ago

Near the end of a profile of Amanda Chantal Bacon, founder of the “wellness” brand Moon Juice, the New York Times Magazine noted that many of the alternative-medicine ingredients in her products are sold—with very different branding—on the Infowars store.

That’s the site run by Alex Jones, the radio show host and conspiracy theorist who has said that both the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School and the Boston Marathon bombing were staged. Moon Juice is frequently recommended by Gwyneth Paltrow’s wellness blog, Goop; it’s a favorite of Hollywood celebrities and others who can afford things like $25 “activated cashews.” Infowars, on the other hand, is a dark corner of the American right, heavy on guns, light on government intervention, and still very mad at Obama.

Celebrity Jeweler Reveals Blac Chyna Tried to Charge $300,000 To Rob

Ben Baller, the celebrity jeweler responsible for keeping all of your faves blinged-out (including Nas, Michael Jackson, Mariah Carey, Kanye West, Drake, Justin Bieber — the list goes on), has accused Blac Chyna of trying to scam up $300,000 worth of jewels on Rob Kardashian’s credit card just three days ago.

As you know, Chyna’s attorney Lisa Bloom announced via Twitter that they’ll be seeking a restraining order against Rob on Monday. After telling Lisa to ‘STFU,’ Ben revealed that there’s a lot more happening between Rob & Chyna that we didn’t see.

Love the fresh dirt we bring over daily from Naughty Gossip? Let us know in the comments!

5 Amazing Ways To Maximize Your Collection of Kief

Kief is the collection of small crystal-like trichomes that gather on top of the marijuana bud. This powder is hard to collect, but it can be found at the bottom of a grinder, which is one of the main reasons the device is so awesome. Kief is beloved by everyone because it has a really high concentration of THC and it’s also very malleable and easy to use in different forms.

Here are 5 creative ways in which you can put your kief to good use:

Baking

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You can add some kief onto any cookie or brownie recipe that you have lying around, just be sure to heat it so that the THC and the other psychoactive compounds can come out. This process is known as decarboxylation and it’s pretty simple. Set your oven to 300° F, place the kief on a glass container and cover it, baking it for about 5 minutes. When this is done, you can add your prepped kief onto your mixture and proceed with the recipe as usual.

Sprinkles

Following the delicious example of rainbow sprinkles added onto an ice cream cone, you can sprinkle some kief on top of your marijuana bowl or joint and make it taste even better, giving you a more powerful high. The strength of the kief can vary depending on the strain, so be mindful of that and start off by adding a small pinch of it. 

Dabbing

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Adding on kief to your dabs will enhance the flavor and greatly increase the THC you’re be consuming.

Add It To Your Coffee

This is an easy way of getting a nice shot of THC without doing anything that requires extra effort. By adding the kief onto a hot cup of coffee, you’ll activate the THC as the crystals heat in your drink. This will produce a strong and long lasting effect that’s very similar to that of an edible.

Make Some Butter With It

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Place butter onto a crock pot and melt it with medium heat. Add on some kief and stir every 15 minutes for a period of 5 hours. After this is done, you can place the kief butter on a heat proof container and put it on the fridge to cool. This butter can be used on everything, from coffee, to meals, to dessert.

Here’s Why You Don’t Mess With Adorable Otters

A leisurely swim in Washington state’s Cliff Lake turned into something from a B-movie horror plot, when a swimmer was attacked by a pair of otters.

On his way out for a training swim while on vacation, triathlete Stew Larsen said he swam past what he thought was a curious river otter. A little splashing sent the critter scurrying into the brush.

But on his way home, Larsen said the otter came back with a buddy: Two of them were now watching him swim past. The splashing didn’t help this time, and the emboldened otters advanced on the swimmer.

The Bozeman Daily Chronicle reports:

In the resulting waterborne scuffle, Larsen said he “connected with one of them” and ended up bitten on his right thigh, where an otter’s fangs cut through his wetsuit to draw a bit of blood. “I had been thinking that if they’re protecting a den, I’d be better off in the middle of the water and away from the shore,” he said, “but I finally figured that if I’m going to be bitten, I need to be on land and I swam with everything that I had left.” Eventually, he said, he was able to make it to some rocks, where the otters backed off and a relative in a boat was able to make a rescue.

Otter attacks are rare in southwest Montana, and otters aren’t hungry for human flesh. But they can be territorial, and are apex predators capable of taking on crocodiles. They’re cute from afar, but don’t piss them off on their own turf.

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