Monday, December 15, 2025
Home Blog Page 1431

What You Need To Know About The Veep Candidates’ Stand on Marijuana

0

On the heels of last week’s presidential debate — which set records for TV ratings, general goofiness and internet memes — Tuesday night’s vice-presidential  affair promises to be a veritable snoozefest in comparison.

Let’s face it: Democratic nominee Sen. Tim Kaine (D-VA) and his Republican counterpart, Indiana Gov. Mike Pence do not engender much excitement. The only thing that might liven up this event is if Kaine whips out his harmonica and belts out a rendition of “Bohemian Rhapsody.”

Debates among the bottom-of-the-ticket candidates are rarely must-see TV. Sure, there was Sarah Palin’s  “Can I call you Joe?” moment and Lloyd Bentsen’s “You’re no John Kennedy” barb. But this year’s VP event promises to be dull as dirt.

But if a question about marijuana legalization should be asked, be prepared for disappointment.

Kaine’s Position

Kaine has slowly evolved on his position of marijuana legalization and his position is now pretty much in line with Hillary Clinton’s.

In a 2014 radio interview, Kaine said ““I’ve never been a legalization fan. I just haven’t been. Just for a whole series of both health- and sort of crime-related reasons, I think that would not be a good idea.”

He has since softened his position a bit, recently. “I actually kind of like this notion of the states as labs and they can experiment (with legalization) and we can see what happens,” he said earlier this year.

Pence’s Position

During a gubernatorial debate in 2012, Pence had this to say about marijuana: “I would not support the decriminalization of marijuana. To be candid with you, growing up in the Hoosier State I’ve seen too many people become involved with marijuana and have their lives sidetracked as a result. We’re to see marijuana become a gateway drug to even worse addictions on their part. … We need to get more serious about confronting the scourge of drugs, especially meth, in Indiana and decriminalization is not the right path in my honest opinion.”

While a member of Congress, Pence repeatedly supported federal government marijuana prohibition, even against medical marijuana patients in legal marijuana states.

These opinions are not totally in line with top-ticket candidate Donald Trump, who appears in support of states deciding the issue.

Both parties are fairly vague in their official platform positions, but the GOP rejected a proposal to endorse medical marijuana.

The Republican Platform Position

“The progress made over the last three decades against drug abuse is eroding, whether for cultural reasons or for lack of national leadership. In many jurisdictions, marijuana is virtually legalized despite its illegality under federal law. At the other end of the drug spectrum, heroin use nearly doubled from 2003 to 2013, while deaths from heroin have quadrupled.

All this highlights the continuing conflicts and contradictions in public attitudes and public policy toward illegal substances. Congress and a new administration should consider the long-range implications of these trends for public health and safety and prepare to deal with the problematic consequences.”

And Kaine’s stance appears to be out of step with his party’s official position.

The Democratic Platform Position

“Because of conflicting laws concerning marijuana, both on the federal and state levels, we encourage the federal government to remove marijuana from its list as a Class 1 Federal Controlled Substance, providing a reasoned pathway for future legalization.”

Will you be watching Tuesday night? It’s unlikely that “Saturday Night Live” will spoof it like last weekend’s brilliant cold open.

Boating Accident Cost Lindsay Lohan Part of Her Finger

Look: After everything Lindsay Lohan has endured—self-inflicted wounds and our vicious piranha-like celebrity culture—it’s kind of incredible she’s still alive. Not even alive, but like out and about, having adventures, doing stuff with her life, ya know? She hasn’t given up, not holed up somewhere and stuff. She even has a new movie out this year.

But goodness, it must be tough living as Lindsay Lohan sometimes. According to Lohan’s Snapchat, she lost some a finger this weekend, thanks to a minor boating accident involving an anchor of some kind. (Don’t call it a metaphor, don’t call it a metaphor.) While it’s maybe a metaphor for Lohan’s life (dammit), the Turkish boating accident caused the actress to lose half of her finger temporarily. It was almost lost, but an emergency room visit with a Turkish plastic surgeon allowed Lohan to reunite with the lost digit.

TMZ has an account of how it all went down:

“Lindsay was enjoying Sunday in the ocean off Turkey when she tried pulling up the boat anchor and became entangled in it.

The anchor pulled her down into the water and she struggled to get back in the boat as she tried untangling herself.

The anchor sliced off the tip of her finger.  Her friends went on the hunt and found the detached digit on the deck of the boat.  They rushed LiLo to an ER, where a plastic surgeon reattached it.”

The website also has pictures of Lohan’s finger, if you’re interested. Because I’m a masochist who hates himself, I looked. Thanks to my laptop’s webcam and capture software technology, here’s a live look at my reaction:

But, like we said, Lindsay Lohan didn’t actually lose her finger. A dedicated fan captured her Snapchat video post-surgery and uploaded it to Instagram, as well. Thank goodness.

 

https://www.instagram.com/p/BLEKnbmDXLZ/

I feel like this is a message to everyone out there but: Please, Lindsay, stop hurting yourself so much. This world beats you up enough. Don’t do more damage than necessary.

Because with that bandaged finger, I must be honest: You can’t sit with us.

Posted By: Brendan Bures

Watch As Child Pops Bubble, Loses Innocence, Becomes Meme

It’s rare that we witness the precise moment a child discovers the world is a callous place that cares little for your happiness or well-being, but this kid’s bubble popped right before his eyes.

I swear I’m not being melodramatic. Watch the video. When that parental voice intones, “You wanna poke it?” look at how joyous and full of life this child’s face was as he turns to the camera. (Kid knows his internet stage cues, at least.) The bubble bursts, though, from his movement. Then: darkness like the child has never known.

But hey, got to face reality sometime, kid! Tough luck!

Now you might wonder who that voice is when the camera goes to grayscale and dramatically slows. “They ask you how you are and you just have to say that you’re fine—and you’re not really fine—but you just can’t get into it,” you hear before the video ends.

Curious, I performed some internet sleuthing—i.e. some intensive Googling. Turns out this audio comes from a Katy Perry interview, discussing her Prism record and splitting from Russell Brand.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lydqMCTnbjA

This being the internet, apparently that sound bite is A THING, primarily in Vine fail videos. Even that theatrical push-in and the camera shot going black-and-white. Like, it’s a super thing.

So not only did this child lose his innocence, but he’s already been meme. I swear, kids grow up so fast these days.

New Jersey Man Arrested For Sunbathing In Clear Bikini “With Genitals Clearly Exposed”

0

Two weeks after posting photos on Facebook of a man sunbathing in only “a homemade, clear plastic wrap bikini” in the hopes of identifying him, a New Jersey police department finally has their man.

The Asbury Park Press reports Beach Haven police arrested Stephen Wojciehowski, 59, on Wednesday of last week on suspicion of lewdness. On September 14th, the police department began their investigation after receiving “information provided by several eyewitnesses” about a man spotted sunbathing in only a transparent, plastic bathing suit at a local beach; two days later they posted edited photos of the shameless exhibitionist on Facebook, which apparently led to Stephen Wojciehowski’s arrest.

“Based on the reported information, Stephen Wojciehowski spent two days on the beach, wearing a homemade, clear plastic wrap bikini, where his genitals were clearly exposed and observed by the public, on the public beach,” the department announced on Facebook after his arrest. Wojciehowski was released pending a court date.

Watch Alec Baldwin’s Donald Trump Debate Kate McKinnon’s Hillary Clinton on ‘SNL’

During Saturday Night Live’s cold open, Alec Baldwin debuted his Donald Trump impersonation and Kate McKinnon revived her Hillary Clinton to recreate the first presidential debate. It was as good and mean as you’d hoped.

When Michael Che’s Lester Holt introduced Hillary as someone who has “been battling pneumonia,” McKinnon-as-Clinton staggered out with a cane and a cough before ditching both to do a somersault. “I’m better than ever, let’s do this!” she shouted.

The real savage stuff was, as you’d expect, reserved for Trump. First, Holt welcomed him as “the man responsible for the bottom half of his kids’ faces.” The Republican candidate then boasted that he was “going to be so calm and so presidential that all of you watching are going to cream your jeans.”

Later, Baldwin’s Trump attempted to explain how he told Fox News’ Sean Hannity about his opposition to the Iraq War. “I told him in private,” he said. “It was just me and Sean late at night and I leaned over, whispered in his ear, ‘Sean, I’m against the war in Iraq.’ And then he whispered in my ear, ‘I’m against the way too.’ And the next thing I knew I was kissing Sean Hannity.”

When Holt asked about why he thought his temperament was better than Clinton’s, Trump said: “Because it is. I have the judgement and temperament She’s the one with the bad temperament. She’s always screaming. She’s always lying. Her face is completely orange except for around the eyes where it’s white. And when she stops talking her mouth looks like a tiny, little butthole.”

The show also lampooned Trump’s racism. “The thing about the blacks is that they’re killing each other,” he said. “They all live on one street in Chicago. It’s called Hell Street. And they’re just killing each other, just like I’m killing this debate.” He also regularly referred to Holt as “Jazzman” and “Coltrane.”

Making Saturday Night Live funny again might be the only silver lining to this hellish campaign season. Watch the full fake debate below, and then revisit the real Hillary Clinton’s interview on Between Two Ferns.

How To Not Be A Total Dickhead In Your Co-Working Space

0

Because of millennials or the gig economy or some dumb Silicon Valley faux wisdom, or all three reasons, co-working spots are now all the rage. In fact, I’m writing this in a co-working space. They have obvious perks: free coffee and beer, nice bathrooms, sometimes cute dogs run around. But, like any spot in which strangers are forced to spend all day together, you sometimes get a few assholes who ruin everything. Here are a few things you can do to ensure that you do not become one of those assholes.

1. Be Quiet

Being quiet is the easiest thing to do in the world—just don’t make any noise!—and yet people have so much fucking trouble doing it. No one is saying the co-working place has to be quiet like a library or monastery; you should be able to have a quick conversation with colleague or answer your phone as you make your way to a phone booth or designated talking area. Please note the emphasis on “quick” and “as you make your way”—do not linger with your loud bullshit. Last week, a man made not one but two lengthy and loud calls from a shared space, and both were about crickets. No one wants to hear two 30-minute calls about anything, much less one about bugs. Be quiet, man!

2. Don’t Sit So Close To Me

If there are plenty of open seats and tables available, do not sit directly next to or across from a random person. Why would you do that? How is it even possible that you think something like that is a good idea? Do I look lonely? Am I at your lucky table? Before you answer any of these questions, get up and move the fuck away.

3) Mute Your Phone and Computer 

Does your phone go “ding” when you get a text message? Does your Slack or Gchat make a sound every time you get a message? Are you currently in a communal area where people are working and its generally understood that you should be making as little noise as possible? If you answered yes to all three questions, then you are a bad person.

As noted above, any unnecessary sounds are unwelcome in a co-working space, but a notification sound that is literally the same one that every other person in the room has is especially obnoxious. Every text or Slack message you gets sends us reaching for our phones. Mute your shit.

4) Don’t Be Gross

Personally, I have not experienced this but a colleague told me she recently watched in horror as a man drenched in sweat—like he’d just gone for a long run or something—sat his sweat-covered body onto one of the nice couches where people sit when they need a break from the regular desks. Ew. Don’t do that.

5) Avoid Smelly Lunch Foods

The other week a woman sitting at my table interrupted whatever important thing I was probably doing with the following warning about her lunch: “I’m about to eat some tuna. Let me know if it smells too bad.” I kind of appreciate the gesture but…maybe don’t bring smelly-ass food for lunch in the first place? Seems easy to do with so many other options out there.

This concludes my lesson on how to avoid being a dickhead in your co-working space. I’m sure we’ll all be considerate and cool now, and work will finally be fun for everyone.

Gimmie: 13 Droolworthy Celebrity Food Porn Instagrams

0

Celebrities are just like us. They take pictures of their food and post them on Instagram. And unlike typical press photos, it appears their food pics are unfiltered, not staged, and often taken in imperfect lighting, which makes them fun to look at. Here are some of our favorites.

1. Serena Williams’ Japanese dinner. #notsurewhatitisbutitspretty

https://www.instagram.com/p/BGZrxmWsTOe/

2. Chelsea Handler’s pile-o-subs. #nofilter

https://www.instagram.com/p/m8VOkio5BN/

3. Amy Schumer’s barbecue with Aziz Ansari. #sarinotsari

https://www.instagram.com/p/88wpArqUJm/

4. Adam Levine’s birthday cake in bed. #itfuckinruledguys

https://www.instagram.com/p/BDI-ACFKjfw/

5.  Dwayne Johnson’s carbs. #lightsnack

https://www.instagram.com/p/BIjBon9DkZk

6. Victoria Beckham’s brownies. #whoactuallymadethese

https://www.instagram.com/p/BGcAcUeliG_/

7. Kerry Washington’s #burgercake.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BIym35vhyT8/

8. Jimmy Fallon’s doughnuts. #pdx

https://www.instagram.com/p/hgxo05vZ1_/

9. Chrissy Teigen’s crab boil. #notababypic

https://www.instagram.com/p/BE9kVQaJjQr/

10. Aziz Ansari’s food coma. #whossarinow

https://www.instagram.com/p/BDO6P_lyRG2/

11. Minday Kaling’s bathtub of berries. #omfgwhatisthis

https://www.instagram.com/p/BDMKre0JQ1P/

12. Gisele’s raw chocolate dessert. #shedoesnteatflour

https://www.instagram.com/p/BHNJ-BrDWvg

13. Beyoncé’s truffle pizza. #shegotthis

https://www.instagram.com/p/7yIJpAPw91/

via GIPHY

 

Now You Can Watch ‘Stranger Things’ As An 8-Bit Video Game

Its skillful use of ‘80s nostalgia was one of the reasons Stranger Things was such a huge hit, so it makes sense that someone—like one of those nerd children all grown up—would recreate the show as an 8-bit video game.

Created by Cinefix’s David and Henry Dutton, the 4-minute video covers all the important parts of the show: You see Will get abducted by the creature from the Upside Down; you’re with Lucas, Mike, and Dustin when they find Eleven; you watch as Joyce asks for an advance to buy a new phone; and, unfortunately, you’re there when Eleven finds Barb’s dead body 🙁

The clip also impressively recreates the show’s soundtrack into MIDI. Watch it below.

[Spin]

Watch: 23 Adorable Baby Pandas Make Sleepy, Confused Debut At China Zoo

0

On Thursday, the Chengdu Research Base of Giant Panda Breeding debuted 23 baby pandas to the public. The tiny cubs were all sprawled out on what looked like a huge green mattress, which was fitting because they all seemed so so sleepy.

“I thought they were toys because they were lying there motionless,” one visitor told CCTV. “Then I realized they were cute baby pandas.”

One lucky American was there and spoke with CCTV. “I never imagined there would be so many baby pandas in one place,” he said.

The pandas mostly just lied there looking very confused and tired, occasionally moving only to readjust their little heads and arms, except for one brave explorer. He tried to make a run for it, but, as baby pandas are wont to do, ended up falling on his face.

Penis-Biting Spiders, Woman-Stabbing Dogs, & iPhone-Busting Frenchmen: The Week in Hot Messes

0

Usually, the United States of America is a hot bed of  Hot Messes, with a disproportionate amount of those taking place in the Sunshine State. But not this week, when half of our stories took us around the world, with bizarre crime and unfortunate animal attacks occurring in France, England, and Australia. But don’t worry, Trump-supporters; even with the international competition, America remained great this week with three strange stories of its own.

We started the week in Hudson, Colorado, where Celinda Haynes found herself as the victim of an unusual crime: She was stabbed by her dog, Mia, who had grabbed a large pairing knife from Haynes’s kitchen counter with her mouth. But everything turned out okay: Haynes was treated at a local hospital and released, and local police said they weren’t “charging Mia with anything because she’s a dog.”

Next, we explored the comedic stylings of Sunday Night Sex Talks, a Los Angeles-based comedy show created for women who want to talk about their dirtiest one-night flings and other hot messes of modern dating. “It started as a gathering that I would do with my best girl friends in college,” creator Jessie Rosen told Page Six. “We would recap all the crazy things that had happened Friday and Saturday night.” As for the juicy details of the shows, you’ll likely never hear them unless you attend yourself; everyone in the audience signs a “Vow of Silence” before the show.

Then we moved onto the heroic feats of a pilot named Mark Penell, who was flying his single-engine plane over central New York when its goddamn propellor flew off. Somehow, Penell managed to remain calm and land the plane like nothing happened. Penell, we salute you.

There was also the tale of Washington D.C. bartender Tripp Diaz, who had an eventful week after C-SPAN accidentally posted her phone-number during the presidential debate and encouraged viewers to text their thoughts about the contest. By Tuesday morning, she’d reportedly received more than 12,000 texts and 300 phone calls. Luckily for her, Verizon told her she’s unlikely to face any additional charges since she’d opted for the unlimited text plan.

The most horrible story of the week took place in Australia, where a construction worker named Jordan was bit on his penis by a venomous spider while sitting on a portable toilet. If this sounds familiar, it’s because last April the BBC reported that an Australian construction worker was bitten on the penis by a venomous spider while sitting on a portable toilet. As (terrible) luck would have it, it was the same man. “I’m the most unlucky guy in the country at the moment,” he told the BBC. “I was sitting on the toilet doing my business and just felt the sting that I felt the first time. I was like ‘I can’t believe it’s happened again.’ I looked down, and I’ve seen a few little legs come from around the rim.”

Meanwhile, a French man who’d apparently had one too many bad experiences with customer service went apeshit in a Dijon Apple store, smashing several iPhones before launching into an inspired speech about…I’m not really sure because I don’t speak French. But he did sound very passionate.

And lastly, there’s the bizarre, sad case of 63-year-old David Hardy, who was charged with assault after punching a 5-day-old baby in the face last month in an Manchester, England supermarket. Hardy has admitted to punching the baby, but he claims he didn’t do so deliberately. “[H]e thought it was a doll,” his attorney said. No explanation was offered for why he thought it was okay to punch a toy doll in the face. 

 

Don't Miss Your Weekly Dose of The Fresh Toast.

Stay informed with exclusive news briefs delivered directly to your inbox every Friday.

We respect your privacy. Unsubscribe anytime.