For patients in medical marijuana states, the paperwork can be an onerous time suck. Sure, you’ll get your medicine, but the lines and multiple forms can make the process unpleasant.
Loudcloud, a California-based tech company, hopes to streamline the system with a new phone app scheduled to launch in January 2017.
The solution is an app that will provide a simple verification process for both dispensaries and patients.
Currently, medical marijuana dispensaries must review patient information documents for every single interaction with a patient. Even longtime patients of a dispensary are required to present proper documentation for the dispensary to review. These interactions can take up to 15 minutes and create lines that discourage new business and turn away patients.
“The whole idea came out of what I thought was an unnecessary burden for dispensary workers … but most importantly the patients,” said Rob Gillett, founder and CEO of LoudCloud said. “We had patients who would lose documents and we’d have to turn them away. Turning away someone not only meant a loss in income but more pain for someone with leukemia or aids.”
With roughly 7 billion dollars in sales annually, the fast-growing cannabis industry will experience an increase in both participation and profits. Medical marijuana makes up a majority of that market share as 29 states currently have programs in place for patients in need of cannabis. Four states — Florida, Arkansas, Montana, and North Dakota — voted for medical marijuana earlier this month.
“With the introduction of medical cannabis into new markets,” the company says, “new dispensaries are set to engage in the heavy cost of a start-up medical business, which includes considerable expenses on employment, technology, and licensure.”
Through a three-step, HIPAA-compliant and confidential process, the app promises to make the purchasing process more efficient. Patients securely upload documents from home onto the LoudCloud server, allowing them to purchase medical marijuana from any of the LoudCloud verified dispensaries provided to them on a map.
For dispensaries, the system allows them to upload new patient information on the LoudCloud server, allowing for new customers to become regular customers without having to haul documentation back to their dispensary. This process also relieves dispensaries of the operation costs of storing information on their own servers.
On some level, we wish to assume the smug media position of being right. This Taylor Swift and Drake friendship/relationship/publicity stunt is real and happening and we tried to warn you.
But a deeper reflection garners a different stance: Warning fine internet folks like yourself about the upcoming doom of a #Draylor takeover is like someone standing in the path of a tornado and thinking, “That might be dangerous.” It is bad and there’s nothing you can do to stop it.
Now we present to you Exhibits A, B, and C.
Yes that is Drake singing Swift’s “Bad Blood” while flexing and lifting weights. He’s so hyped from Tay Tay he drops the bar because the song is “distractingly good.”
It’s a callback to Swift’s similar self-deprecating commercial where she runs on the treadmill while listening to Drake and Future’s “Jumpman.” Then she trips and falls on her face because she’s too focused on rapping along. To be fair, this is understandable: Just try listening to that song and not once whispering “Jumpman, jumpman, jumpman.” It’s impossible.
We joked in an earlier story about calling Drake and Taylor’s totally-not-contrived relationship “Draylor.” We were following the patter of similar silly portmanteaus for celebrities: Brangelina (R.I.P.), KimYe, HiddleSwift (lol), and TomKat.
It was a fun nickname. Then Drake went ahead and actually used it in an Instagram post promoting the ad. Drake is openly trolling the internet and he’s winning. Combined with the natural tour de force that is a Taylor Swift celebrity maelstrom, it’s advised we all clutch each other tightly and wait for this to pass. There’s nothing we can do to stop Draylor.
Some things in life are wonderfully flawed. Coffee is one of them.
In a recent article on Geek Wire, a team of scientists discussed the idea of trying to find “the perfect cup of coffee.” This comes as no surprise. We are a culture berated with choice and the idea of a “perfect cup” of coffee strips down our options, presenting what so many of us desire most: a pre-selected sample of what is considered to be the very best of, well, anything. All of us, in varying degrees, want perfection. We scour the internet for perfect shirts, perfect songs, perfect advice from perfect experts, an unending quest to have in our possession an object — metaphysical or otherwise — that is above reproach from any sector. But, to say that a perfect cup of coffee exists, argues against our subjective desires as humans. It makes the statement that within the wide spectrum of personal palette and experience, there is a singular cup of coffee that could possibly satisfy all of our individual wants and needs. To this, I say, “No, thank you.”
So Many Ways To Screw It Up
The roasting and brewing of coffee in itself is problematic when looking to achieve perfection. Coffee is, or it can be, a delicate, fickle product. It’s altered and changed by the smallest shift in natural occurring phenomenons, like temperature and barometric pressure at both the roasting and brewing stages. A long while ago, I spoke to renowned coffee consultant Ben Kaminsky about a future where a perfect roast profile could be achieved if the coffee was roasted in a sealed laboratory, free from the flavor altering natural elements. It’s certainly a fun visual — roasters in svelte biohazards suits, locked within a sterile white room, poking and prodding at a batch of Brazil’s finest with forceps. And while this might be the future norm, for now we soldier forward, with the natural agents of change buffering us at every corner. As if nature itself was constantly reminding us that perfection is a concept never fully achieved. And let us not forget that each roaster, suited up in clinical garb or not, is a human being, with all our species foibles and beautiful inadequacies, like it or not, transferring into the roasting process. We will never, thank goodness, be perfect, thus, no batch of beans will ever be roasted perfectly.
Human Error Overload
Let’s imagine for a moment though, that yes, in some high-tech facility on a barren stretch of New Jersey turnpike, roasters have achieved a perfect roast profile. How does one then account for the natural imperfection of a barista? Though coffee is often compared to wine in terms of terroir and vintage, there is a striking difference. This being the barista.
While wine sits in a barrel for years before making it to the table and being poured, coffee, regardless of how well it’s roasted, is then placed at the mercy of the barista, all of their coffee context coming to bear. A barista, or better yet a coffee consumer who prepares a morning cup, is a product of years of experience, training, and personal preference.
Once this imaginary perfectly roasted bean ends up in a hopper, all bets are off. This “perfect” bean is now in the hands of a wildcard who, for better or worse, can and will pull a shot or brew a cup with their own personal biases tugging at them the entire way.
Be it tamping method, preferred portafilter, temperature of the water or any other number of options controlled by the barista behind the machine, finding a perfect cup of coffee seems impossible with the preferences of thousands of coffee specialists standing in it’s way. And let’s not forget about the natural elements in any given coffee shop – any open door or a crush of customers raising or lowering the temperature, thus affecting the speed at which the shot of espresso is pulled, for example. Sure, there’s a slim possibility of perfection being achieved in the roasting process, but how does the industry account for human element that invariably exists at the end of any supply chain?
Photo by Caio via Pexels
Beyond any of this though, I firmly believe, that the way we enjoy our coffee needs to be subjective as, again, we are not a perfectly aligned species, always seeking a uniformly perfect flavor profile.
Why search for a perfect cup when a large portion of our coffee society eschews an excellent cup of a light roasted Rwandan in favor of a dark, sludgy cup of Dunkin’ Donuts?
Perfect Imperfection
There’s no reason to believe that somewhere in the middle of speciality coffee and the ubiquitous (insert chain coffee outfit here) there is a cup of joe that will fit the flavor wants of everyone. And as much as the beauty of coffee lies in its malleability — in our ability to shape it’s flavor at the brewing level — this only allows each of us, individually, to craft our own perfect cup of coffee, removed from what other’s have deemed “perfect.” We are humans, we are defined by our ability to choose, and through this choice, we consistently dispel the idea of a perfect anything. Perfection is only in the eye of the beholder, and that eye may be similar, but never the same. Even at the barista level, we have personal preference. We walk into our coffee shops every morning or week and some of us are pleased when one barista is working and some of us are not, because that barista prepares the coffee in their own way, and that way is beloved by some, and not by others.
Coffee is a wild, wonderful product, a simple bean that has innumerable possibilities of flavor, an argument with an endless number of conclusions — all of them right, all of them wrong.
And yes, someday when we live in future houses with our every preference tended to by an army of clear-voiced, smiling artificial intelligence, some version of a perfect cup of coffee may exist. A coffee machine may be invented that is impervious to the whim of nature, to the specific desires of the individual conscious. A robotic barista may stand behind this machine at coffee shops the world over, able to produce, over and over again, whatever the blueprint for “perfect coffee” has been decided, without error and without the concerns of the perfection-smearing traits of their own personal experience. But what then? Do we, the coffee consuming public, forgo our own delight in a cup of shitty diner coffee? Do we bid adieu to a drop of simple syrup at the bottom of a latte? Do we, quite frankly, become a society of coffee drinkers all happily sipping the exact same beverage? I think not. The human enjoyment in pursuit of perfection is an open-ended one, the search so much more enjoyable then the actual result. So, while a new wave of scientists sift through the data to try and discern a cup of coffee that suits the needs of every coffee-drinking human across the globe, the rest of us will continue to find enjoyment in the search for our own perfect cup of coffee. Whatever that might be.
The end of the year, in part, is about looking back and taking a moment to reflect. While the origins of Thanksgiving are mostly tragic and terrible, that doesn’t mean we can’t reflect on both what we are thankful for and what we need to improve on. And, for the sake of this piece, I wanted to take a moment and look back — with a smile — at the beer trends I’m thankful for in 2016.
Fresh hop beers
https://www.instagram.com/p/BKhFjBPAvJC
It’s the saving grace of every September. Farmers and brewers alike have just plucked their hop fields and rushed the oily little green pinecones that are hop flowers to their breweries and, instead of drying them, use them immediately for lighter, brighter — yes, fresh! — IPAs and pale ales. It’s like taking a summer sunset, balling it up in your hand, and juicing it like an orange into a pint glass. Floral, citrusy and exhilarating.
Session IPAs
https://www.instagram.com/p/BM2SSlGAOgk
Similar to their cousin fresh hop, session IPAs are light and bright. But session IPAs often take it one step further. If you like beer, it’s fair to assume you’ve had an IPA or two. And you know how thick and heavy and often malty their bodies can be. But you also know you like their sharpness and edge. Well, with session IPAs you get the floral sharp qualities and a bit of the hops without the big body and heaviness. It’s like a pilsner had a beer child with an IPA. It’s practically the perfect pint.
Hopped reds
https://www.instagram.com/p/BMxYgYBhGiP/
I admit it. I’m a sucker for a red ale. Something about the color and duration the grain is roasted for makes my palate joyous. But I’ll also admit this: often the problem with red ales is they have no backbone and their have a sweet front end. It can be off-putting and deterring. But hopped reds have that important spine, that bite. And the hop either takes the place of or offsets all that malt.
Dark ales
https://www.instagram.com/p/BM6NPMag_lq/
As craft beer becomes more and more ubiquitous, palates (and the eyes with which we first eat and drink) are no longer scared of dark beers. Call it the Guinness effect if you will, but stouts and porters and even Cascadian Dark Ales (I.e. Black IPAs) are becoming more and more available. And, as I wrote recently, now is the perfect time to jump into dark beers like winter warmers and Christmas Ales, those spicy-sweet, perfect-for-a-fireplace-type brew.
Lager-only breweries
https://www.instagram.com/p/BMpsTm0jwjl/
Most of the big domestic beer companies focus on pilsners and lagers. But that’s a business decision and less a love for the style and craft. While they may have perfected a type of lighter beer, they haven’t perfected brewing light beer, in general. But there are breweries who do focus on this primarily and they are yielding excellent, crisp results. To name one, Bellingham, WA’s Chuckanut Brewery makes German-style Helles lagers, Vienna lagers, Czech pilsners and other varieties. They difference between each beer is nuanced and slim but also historic and important to the origins of beer, itself. Czech pilsners use different grains and hops than do Vienna lagers. Want to know more? Chuckanut knows.
Ciders
https://www.instagram.com/p/BGMwp_5kLCi/
Eight words: Goodbye bad ciders and hello mind-blowing new ones! Maybe that was nine words. Either way, we’re full speed ahead on cider production in this country and the dregs of the thick, sugary apple juice-like ciders we were introduced to five or 10 years ago are finally being replaced by deep, nuanced, berry-infused ciders today. Cranberry ciders, ginger ciders, black current and lavender ciders. Yes please!
We all deal with the first real day of winter in different ways. Those of us who dread the shorter days and frigid weather retreat to the indoors. Those of us who look forward to exploring and hiking through snow-covered landscapes can’t wait to unpack their winter jackets and gear, as do those who get excited about the return of their favorite winter sports. And a much, much smaller group of people celebrate the return of the season by stripping down to their underwear, chugging vodka, and then running around freezing, ice-plastered forrest.
For the third year in a row,a middle-aged factory worker from Norway named Tor Eckhoff has filmed himself running through the woods while dressed only in his underwear. The videos show him jumping in and out of snow piles, pausing only to take huge swigs of vodka. In his most recent clip, he saws through a top layer of ice in an outdoor tub with a chainsaw so he can bath in the freezing water.
“I have always had a thing for cold water,” Eckhoff told the Daily Dot, adding that he isn’t paid by the vodka company—or anyone—for his deranged stunts.
So how does he manage to keep his composure during those his frozen forrest romps (not to mention, keep from freezing to death)?
“When you are ice swimming or messing around almost naked in the snow, you have a limited amount of time before you get too cold,” he said. “During that time you just have to handle the cold mentally.”
Over the past couple of weeks, a new meme featuring Kermit the Frog has emerged. The meme, appropriately called Evil Kermit, shows the beloved frog facing a hooded version of himself, with the idea being that the “good” Kermit is losing out to the “bad” Kermit, much like you do when you know the right to do but opt for the wrong choice instead.
Select All reports the photo comes from 2014’s Muppets Most Wanted, in which Kermit confronts his wicked twin Constantine. Somehow, the image made its way onto Twitter, where users were quick to adapt it into a new meme. Below are a handful of the best Evil Kermit tweets.
If this looks familiar, that’s because Evil Kermit is the second popular meme to star the green Muppet. First there was “But that’s none of my business,” which Know Your Meme defines as “a sarcastic expression used as a postscript to an insult or disrespectful remark said towards a specific individual or group.” The meme is most famously associated with a photo of Kermit drinking tea, but other photos of the frog (or Tea Lizard, as some say) also work.
Will Evil Kermit surpass the Mannequin Challenge as 2016’s defining meme? It’s too early to tell but–unless a Beatle partakes–we’re going to guess no.
Friday afternoon, a mysterious white foam rapidly oozed out of an airport hanger onto a Santa Clara, California street, eventually covering a full city block with 3 and a half feet of dense bubbles. While others looked on with wonder or confusion, cyclist Blake Harrington recognized an opportunity.
After learning that the foam was a fire suppressant that could lead only to mild skin irritation, Harrington pedaled directly into the bubbly mass until he was completely submerged. Video from local TV station KTVU shows only the occasional burst of bubbles floating upward to indicate Harrington’s location in the mass.
GIF via KTVU
“Yeah, someone had to do it,” he told KTVU. “We were on the other side and the officers over there were like ‘you should ride through.’ And I was like, ‘OK you guys don’t mind?’ So we decided to do it.”
Despite biking blindly through the mess, which included submerged cars and street curbs, SF Gate reports Harrington escaped relatively unscathed, managing to hit only one sign.
I am in the jewelry business and have been honored to help countless friends get engaged, but my marriage proposal was even better than I had imagined. I am still in shock that we are getting married, that it all really happened, and that I have a beautiful ring on my finger!
I was sitting at my desk one Saturday and my brother, Marc, walked in to my office (its a family business). He asked how the day was going and then handed me a card. I opened it and it was a pair of matchsticks hugging and read “A perfect match.” We were supposed to babysit for our nephew Asa that afternoon, so the card read:
Photo courtesy of Lisa Bridge
“Hey Babe, Change of plans for today. Please Uber to the Fairmont Hotel’s Georgian Room for a surprise. We will see Asa later on. Enjoy! Love, G. Please arrive at 2pm – Fairmont Hotel.”
I looked up, stunned. I knew what it meant, but still asked, “What do I do now?” to which Marc replied, “You should probably put something on for tea”!
I dashed out of the office and hopped in an Uber. They asked how my day was going and I replied “I think I’m getting engaged!”
I flew through my house trying to decide what to wear. I Facetimed a friend in Boston to help make the selection. Being a jeweler, I carefully selected jewelry that had special meaning on this day – a watch from my parents that is engraved “Lisa, you are our pride and joy,” a ring I purchased for myself, earrings that have one diamond from my grandmother’s engagement ring and one from my great grandmother’s wedding ring, and one of the first necklaces I designed.
Photo courtesy of Lisa Bridge
I made it to the Fairmont, shaking slightly, walked in expecting to see Gilad. I didn’t see him, but his two closest girlfriends (and now good friends of mine) waved me enthusiastically over. I sat down, excited to see them and have tea, but a bit confused about what was happening. They said, “We’re having tea!” We ordered tea and then I asked if I should ask them any questions. They said that I could ask, but they wouldn’t tell me anything. After about 40 minutes, they told me that I would have to eat a little faster and eventually gave me my next card.
The card had a fluffy white cat in between chocolate and graham crackers and read “I want s’more of you!” Inside it said “Hi Babe, I hope you enjoyed the tea and stories. I can’t wait for our next tea adventure! Your next surprise awaits you at 1427 5th Avenue. You’ll know it when you see it. Love, G”
Photo courtesy of Lisa Bridge
I walked (or maybe skipped) down the street to Julep, my favorite nail salon. Does he know me or what?! I thought. I walked in and I saw my friends Miranda and Ellen who had flown in from Dallas! I couldn’t contain myself, it was all happening! The three of us chatted and got our nails done. Part way through, another friend, Allie, Facetimed to share a memory with me, that started the tears. They handed me the next card.
The next card read, “Congratulations for being sexy and intelligent at the same time.” It told me that my 30th birthday was one of his favorite nights (we had gone champagne tasting) and that he wanted to recreate a small part of it. I walked around the block to that restaurant only to find not only a bottle of pink champagne, but my friends Lauren and Laura who had flown in from Los Angeles!
Photo courtesy of Lisa Bridge
The three of us giggled through our glasses of champagne and tried to contain our excitement for what was happening. They handed me my final card that read, “You are my bucket list.” It told me to go to where we went on our first date, to walk up the stairs and I’d see him. He couldn’t wait. Neither could I at that point, I had literally been shaking for hours.
Photo courtesy of Lisa Bridge
I arrived at the bar, walked up the stairs, and in a perfect movie moment, the bartender asked, “Is that her?” and Gilad turned around with two glasses of champagne. He walked me into a room that had romantic music playing (you can’t beat a little Frank Sinatra and Boys2Men). He had red roses waiting as we sat down by the window. He looked up at me, with tears in his eyes, got down on a knee and pulled out the most beautiful wooden jewelry box.
Photo courtesy of Lisa Bridge
He asked if I recognized the box, I didn’t. He explained that it is the new special occasion jewelry box for Ben Bridge and I was the very first to have it. Then told me how much he loved me and how he wanted to spend his life with me, and presented my perfect engagement ring.
Photo courtesy of Lisa Bridge
We celebrated, hugged, cried, toasted the moment and then hopped in a car to tell my parents. We got to my parents house and opened the door to find my whole family, Gilad’s family who came in from Spokane, and all of our friends who were a part of the proposal and their significant others.
Photo courtesy of Lisa Bridge
My parents had planned a beautiful celebration for us (a glittering sign that read “Mazel Tov Lisa and Gilad,” straws with engagement rings adorning them, and of course delicious food) and we soaked in the moment as best we could.
Photo courtesy of Lisa Bridge
It’s still hard to believe that it happened. I look down at my ring and get lost in not only the beauty, but also the symbolism and the promise of spending our lives together, as a loving, happy team.
With new music flying like warp-speed through the various channels of the Internet, it can be hard to keep up. But worry not! Each week The Fresh Toast will deliver the most-discussed and exciting songs that have recently dropped. Landed. Crashed. And also: soared. Enjoy.
Jhené Aiko—“Maniac”
https://soundcloud.com/jhene-aiko-1/maniac-1
This year Jhené Aiko and Big Sean dropped a collaborative EP Twenty88 seemingly out of nowhere. While Sean and Aiko had appeared on tracks together before (Aiko featured on Big Sean’s previous three efforts), nothing indicated the two producing a joint project. But with seeming confirmation the two are dating, the reasons behind fleshing out their musical chemistry came into view. No wonder Big Sean also stated there will be a full-length Twenty88 project dropping 2017.
But that doesn’t mean Aiko hasn’t been working on any solo material. Her latest offering “Maniac” displays a rawer, aggressive Aiko, sing-rapping over a bouncy trap beat. It’s reminiscent of rapping alter ego J Henny, and makes her still-controversial line “Eat the booty like groceries” approaching something tame. Just kidding. That line will forever be deliciously bonkers.
“Maniac” seems to be the first single of Aiko’s possible new solo project. More importantly, it marks a possible departure from her chill bedroom vibes that trademarked her first solo offerings.
The Weeknd ft. Daft Punk—“I Feel It Coming”
What happened? Has The Weeknd finally mellowed out? He has enough for “I Feel It Coming,” another Daft Punk-featured single from his upcoming album Starboy. Over the tropical pop beat, The Weeknd croons out for intimate, romantic love, a complete reversal from the Abel we know. It’s yet another step in The Weeknd’s transparent quest to become the millennial Michael Jackson, though this record is more transformation than tribute. It seems genuine this time.
For those House of Balloons fans, don’t worry: The powder-fueled sadomasochistic fiend The Weeknd initially portrayed still lurks as we hear in the other Starboy track debuted this week “Party Monster.” As much as things change, they stay the same.
John Legend ft. Chance the Rapper—“Penthouse Floor”
John Legend and Chance the Rapper would not be a collaboration expected a couple years back. But with Coloring Book, Chance captured a love for gospel, funk, and rap, blending it together into a genre-less dance hymn. So though Legend and Chance appeal to far different audiences, “Penthouse Floor” shows they share similar DNA structures. Kudos to Chance for the non-corny knock-knock joke.
Childish Gambino—“Redbone”
Everything that once defined Childish Gambino’s sounds has been abandoned. This latest single—just as addictive and evocative as “Me and Your Momma”—steers more in the direction of Sign O’ The Times era Prince than Funkadelic. Here’s a very telling reveal how new project Awaken, My Love! will sound compared to the rapper’s older work, courtesy of a recent Billboard profile: “Whereas previous Childish Gambino albums featured verbal acrobatics and a constant deluge of similes—‘very written,’ as he puts it — he approached Awaken as ‘an exercise in just feeling and tone.’ ” Guess what: It’s working.
Russ—“Psycho Pt. 2”
The sheer work Russ puts into one song—he sings, writes, produces, and engineers all on his own—is enough to impress. But that’s discount how damn catchy these syrupy, simple hits are. While it dips into the same formula in structure as smash record “What They Want,” it’s enough variation to dismiss any complaints.
The Mannequin Challenge made Rae Sremmurd’s “Black Beatles” the No. 1 record in the country. You would think the song would be untouchable, at least so soon. But Nicki kills this remix, showcasing her vocal dexterity and reminding she still has the bars to back it up.
Another Hot Mess-filled week is in the books: Over the past seven days we’ve learned about jet boat-lovers Down Under, nude pizza bandits, Axe-chugging drunkards, irate IHOP customers armed with knives, and more. Let’s review the weirdest and most surprising stories below.
The week began with a deep dive into this history of insane lawsuits and complaints from McDonald’s customers, including a woman who called 911 after reportedly being denied the Chicken McNuggets she’d ordered, another woman who claims she suffered extensive oral injuries after biting into a glass-filled Chicken McSandwich, and a man who sued for $1.5 million after receiving only napkin with his meal.
Moving on to another popular chain restaurant, a man enjoyed a nice breakfast at a Miami IHOP last week. But sometime later, the meal apparently made him feel unwell, so he did what one does and returned to the restaurant to stab the waiter, who escaped with relatively minor injuries.
And in yet another restaurant story—food really brought out the worst in people this week—a man in Towson, Maryland broke into a pizza parlor in the early morning, stripped off all of his clothes on camera, and then robbed the cash registers. As of this writing, the nude pizza bandit remains at large.
In South Carolina, a man was pulled over after police officers repeatedly observed him swerving. When the officers approached his car, they spotted him doing something slightly suspicious…chugging AXE Body Spray straight from the can. Unsurprisingly, the man failed multiple sobriety tests and was arrested for suspicion of DUI.
The sole animal story this week took place in Maryland, where a 63-year-old grandmother was attacked by a bear while walking her daughter’s dog. The woman, who her husband described as a “tough babe,” said she punched the bear in the face several times before playing dead. Her quick thinking probably saved her life, though she still ended up with a broken arm and 60 stitches.
Finally, in New Zealand a father of two made the most of flooding his city and took to the water-covered streets in his homemade jet boat. “I was just going for a burn,” he said. “It had to be done.”
