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Which Actor From ‘Rouge One’ Said They Want to Feel Up Jabba the Hut?

Over the course of his press tour for Rogue One: A Star Wars Story, Diego Luna has made it exceedingly clear that there’s one character in the Star Wars universe that absolutely fascinates him: Jabba the Hut.

Twitter user @tolkienianjedi compiled Luna praising and obsessing over Jabba in seven different interviews. The actor uses similar phrasing to describe his obsession in each interview. Here are a few of those descriptions

“Jabba, come on! Touching his belly, like ughhhh—I’m so tempted.”

“Jabba, I want to touch Jabba. I know it sounds gross, but it might be delicious.”

“I’ll say the kiss with Jabba. He’s an amazing character, come on…The texture, I’m very curious to actually touch that texture…I’ve been dreaming of Jabba…every time I date someone I’m just looking for him.”

“It’s quite an interesting character…I don’t know, that texture of his skin is just something that obsesses me.”

“Jabba, I’ve always wanted to touch him, like the texture of Jabba is something I need to discover.”

“I’m obsessed with the texture of Jabba. You’ve never dreamed about touching Jabba. I mean it must be quite disgusting…”

While Rogue One is a standalone movie without any sequels (aside from the little known trilogy that takes place immediately after it, time-wise), we hope someone at Lucas/Disney can set Luna up on a date or something with his film idol. Or perhaps Jabba could replace Luna’s co-star Gael García Bernal in a follow-up to 2001’s Y Tu Mamá También.

TFT How To: Making The Perfect Marijuana Tincture At Home

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Maybe smoking or vaping marijuana isn’t your thing, and cannabis edibles seem too hard to control. Why not try a marijuana tincture, the old-school way your great-grandpappy consumed medical marijuana before the United States’ reefer madness spoiled all his fun. Marijuana-infused alcohol, usually dispensed via an eyedropper, is discreet, easy to titrate, low in calories and boasts a long shelf life. Tinctures can also be added to all sorts of foods to make every meal a bit special.

Best of all, while a nickname like “green dragon” might suggest this is dangerous stuff, making a marijuana tincture at home is fairly easy – just as long as you’re comfortable (read: safe) with the three main ingredients: marijuana, high-proof alcohol and heat.

So come on, Mr. Wizard, here’s one chemistry lesson, courtesy of Gizmodo, that will pay off big time. (Once you master this method, there are other DIY tincture recipes to try out.)

Ingredients:

4 grams of bud and/or trim

-Grinder or food processor

-Parchment paper

-Oven-safe dish

-90-proof alcohol (or higher)

-2 canning jars with lids

-Cheese cloth

-Opaque tincture bottles with eyedroppers

Instructions:

  1. Finely grind 4 grams of cannabis in an herb grinder or food processor.
  2. Finely spread the results in an oven-safe dish that’s been lined with parchment paper.
  3. Place the dish in an oven that’s been preheated to 240 degrees F for 20 to 30 minutes. This will decarboxylate the marijuana, meaning it will turn the plant’s non-psychoactive THCA into psychoactive THC – the same thing that happens when you smoke it.
  4. Pour the results into a canning jar filled with two ounces of high-proof alcohol, stir it up and tightly screw on the lid.
  5. Let the jar sit for three hours in a dark, cool area. Watch your potion magically turn green!
  6. Pour the mixture through two layers of cheese cloth into a second jar. Then repeat the process, pouring the liquid through another double layer of cheese cloth back into the first jar. By this point, most of the plant matter should be filtered out.
  7. Store the results in opaque or tinted tincture bottles.

You’re good to go! Give your tincture a test run by placing a 1mL drop under your tongue, remembering that it can take an hour or longer to feel the full effects. If that’s not enough, add a second drop, etc. But please, for the love of God, no matter how high you get, don’t confuse your tincture with your contact lens solution. That’s one experiment that won’t end with happy results.

5 Videos Of Babies and Puppies Being Jealous That Will Make Your Day

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Jealousy is normally a shitty feeling, whether you’re the one who’s feeling it or whether it’s directed at you. It reminds us that we’re not as great as we think we are and that sometimes we can be assholes. In short, it’s not cool.


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Except when babies and puppies do it. Then it’s hilarious. We thought it’d be awesome to introduce you to some of these viral gems of puppies and babies not being able to deal with their instinctive emotions and just acting like cute and jealous idiots. Enjoy.

0 to 100

The baby’s mood swings will give you whiplash; when his parents are kissing each other he’s upset, but when he’s the one being kissed is like he completely forgot that he was crying a second ago.

Pay attention to me!

These cute dogs are playing with each other and have forgotten their cat friend, who gently reminds them that he exists with a loud meow and a gentle push towards the camera.

Psycho

This family is totally trolling this little girl. She’s very cute but also vengeful, check out that sneaky foot on 0:49.

No. Touching.

There will not be any touching in this house.

Look at ME

These parents can’t film their baby crawling without having their puppy step in. Literally. 

Ice Canyons In Greenland? Learn More In 2017 With @DiscoverAndKnow

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The internet has become increasingly awful over the past couple of years. No where is this more evident than Twitter, which began as a place to exchange stupid jokes and news tidbits and has since morphed into a cesspool of trolls, disinformation from president-elects, and incessant chatter between unfunny political reporters. But there are some accounts that make the social media network occasionally worthwhile, like @tcberman and @DiscoverAndKnow, the latter of which offers its followers a very succinct bit of knowledge with every tweet.

The account was originally called @LearnSomething, but—after an unexplained months-long hiatus—it recently rebranded itself as @DiscoverAndKnow. @DiscoverAndKnow’s purpose remains the same, though: Several times a week (sometimes it’ll post twice a day; sometimes it’ll wait a couple of days between tweets) the account will share a photo of something interesting or unusual with a brief and simple caption that almost always includes “This is what [tk] looks like.”

For example, a recent tweet featured a picture of a dog with water running off it. The accompanying caption said, “This is what a dog jumping out of water looks like.”

The simplicity of the account is what makes it so enjoyable to follow; it’s an island of uncomplicated wonder in the middle of the shit sea that is the vast majority of Twitter these days. Instead of an annoying opinion or a bad joke or an update to some horrific news story, you get a nice picture and a concise description. As the account puts it in their bio: “Discover amazing photos while expanding your mind. Learn something new every day with us.”

Here are some of our favorite @DiscoverAndKnow tweets.

This is what a huge rhododendron tree looks like.

https://twitter.com/DiscoverAndKnow/status/809489462942199808

This is what an Ice Canyon in Greenland looks like.

https://twitter.com/DiscoverAndKnow/status/805140807766384644

This is what an ant’s face looks like, as seen through a microscope.

https://twitter.com/DiscoverAndKnow/status/799705067662274561

This is what the bottom of a water lily looks like.

https://twitter.com/DiscoverAndKnow/status/788093495408033792

This is what a scallop farm looks like.

https://twitter.com/DiscoverAndKnow/status/783020064568205312

This is what it looks like under a wave.

https://twitter.com/DiscoverAndKnow/status/777322526024278020

This is what an armadillo putting up his self defense mechanism looks like.

https://twitter.com/DiscoverAndKnow/status/775379736386277377

This is what a Contraluz opal worth $20,000 looks like.

https://twitter.com/DiscoverAndKnow/status/768494345171394560

This is what a blue-footed booby family looks like.

https://twitter.com/DiscoverAndKnow/status/764870458084917252

5 Creepy Tech Home Gadgets That Might Kill Us All In 2016

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Uber-crappy 2016 has been an eventful year to say the least, marked by crazy sociopolitical events and technological advancements that can make us feel like we’re living within a dystopian sci-fi show. It can be a scary time to be alive and some of us are weary of the future, so we’ve compiled a list of some of the craziest techy home gadgets mankind has came up with in 2016:

Azumi Hikari


If the Amazon Echo isn’t cool enough for you, you can try the Azuma Hikari, which is clearly the weirdest home technology developed in the history of FOREVER. Like the Amazon Echo and Google Home, this hub does things for you, like make lists, control your lighting system and plenty of other stuff that make our human lives easier. Azuma Hikari differentiates itself from the rest because it adds a face to the technology. An anime face that has a personality and develops a relationship with the owner.


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Azumi Hikari’s ad looks like a creepy rom-com, but hey, if you’re not put off by a lovestruck anime hologram, then buy the damn thing. We won’t judge.

Kuvee

For the tech-savvy wine lover, Kuvee might just be the thing you’ve been waiting for. You don’t need to chug that expensive bottle of wine in one sitting or argue over which type of Cabernet pairs best with your dinner; Kuvee’s smart design keeps oxygen from messing up your drink and allows you to do whatever the hell you want.


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The fancy container also has a small screen that shows you which type of wine you’re drinking, offers some helpful info, and how many glasses of it there are left in the bottle. It’s like a Kindle for wine! Only for the price of 200 bucks.

SmartyPans

Aside from its cleverly-puny name, SmartyPans provides answers to all the questions you may have while cooking, like the amount of calories in the dish, the exact quantities of ingredients it needs, and much more. This pan will make a chef out of ANYONE, even if you’ve got no culinary skills.

CleverPet

Thankfully, technology hasn’t forgotten about the well being of the most important member of your family (aka, your dog).


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CleverPet is a software that focuses on the development and nourishment of your pet’s brain, making them smarter in ways you’d never expect. Also, it provides a distraction for them when you’re away from home, keeping your furniture and home clean and free of messes. It’s a win-win for all.

Savioke Relay Robot

This robot will be a bonus for the lucky – and rich – residents of a new luxury residence in Los Angeles. The hardwired helper, named CHARLEY, will be in charge of maintaining the building and cleaning up after you, very much like Rosie in The Jetsons. This badass robot will tend to your everyday needs, delivering parcels to your door and providing answers to all of your queries. CHARLEY will be the first robot implemented in a residential building, whose M.O. will surely be modeled by others. Here’s to the future!


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Dicks By Mail Delivery Leads to Horror, Lawsuit in Dallas

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A company called Dicks By Mail is in hot water after it sent an apparently unwanted package of penis-shaped candies to a Dallas woman, who claims the phallic delicacies are part of a sustained harassment campaign against her.

The Dallas News reports that Melody Lenox was sent the package of dick-shaped candies from Dicks by Mail on December 7. Lenox, who works in HR for Axxess Technology Solutions, claims the person who sent her the might be the same person who has recently keyed her car and posted several fake Craiglist ads purporting to be her.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BNXhq9BjqVB/

To combat the perceived harassment, she’s filed suit against Dicks By Mail, demanding that the company release any personal information, including name, address, and telephone number, of the person who ordered the candy dicks.

“Our products are a lighthearted and humorous joke designed to amuse the recipient. By purchasing our products you represent that you are not using them to harass the recipient in any way or for any unlawful purpose,” Dicks by Mail says on their FAQ page on their website. “If you are not completely sure the recipient will understand the comedic novelty of our products, do not send.”

It’s unclear if Dicks by Mail will comply with the request or if they’ll fight it in court.

Healthy 2017: 5 Under-The-Radar Diets You Might Not Know About

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After the wrapping paper debris has settled and the lights and candles come down until next year, we’re all feeling a little overwhelmed — especially if part of the holiday festivities involved more sweet and salty treats than usual. It’s great to enjoy time with loved ones around food and fun drinks, but with the new year comes some sense of reinvention: How will you tackle what’s on your 2017 plate?

But many diet plans are downright derogatory and encourage shame, not confidence: “Skinny Bitch Diet?” “French Women Never Get Fat?” Pass. And if you’re prone to disordered eating, or recovering from an unhealthy relationship with food, this time of year can be particularly tough.

You might not have heard of these plans for healthy eating before, but their backing by common medical knowledge and encouragement for health, not starvation, make them worth considering.

Barley for Breakfast

Dawn Jackson Blatner, RD, a Chicago dietitian, told WebMD that “Barley is the new oatmeal.” Eating barley or rye kernels in the morning helps your blood sugar stay level, so your stomach isn’t growling in the middle of that 10 a.m. meeting. She notes that lower-processed hulled barely, not pearl barley, is best.

N.E.A.T


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No, not as in tidy — staying N.E.A.T. stands for “Non-Exercise Activity Thermogenesis.” It’s everything we do throughout the day that’s not specifically exercise, sleeping, or eating. The research defines it this way:

“It ranges from the energy expended walking to work, typing, performing yard work, undertaking agricultural tasks and fidgeting. Even trivial physical activities increase metabolic rate substantially and it is the cumulative impact of a multitude of exothermic actions that culminate in an individual’s daily NEAT.”

The physical toll that sitting for nine hours a day takes on your metabolism can’t be overcome with one hour in the gym every three days (or whenever you’re feeling ambitious). Little movements count, too.

The Calorie-Cycling Diet

Starving yourself for weeks isn’t healthy, and neither is binging on all the food as you’ve missed out on during yo-yo dieting. Calorie cycling involved periods of lower-calorie intake with higher-calories “refeeds.” For example, you might spend five days eating lean, and two days refueling with more food, and repeat.

There are many versions of this plan — here’s a complete guide for how to try calorie cycling, and how to combine it with exercise.

Best Life Diet


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This one rose to popularity nearly 10 years ago thanks to Oprah — it was started by her personal trainer — but it’s worth revisiting now if you’re looking for inspiration to change your relationship with food. It doesn’t encourage starvation or limiting yourself, but does put you on regimented “phases.” The first involves cutting alcohol, adding more water, and stopping eating before bed. The next two are more aggressively focused on getting more exercise and paying attention to macronutrients.

The emphasis on emotional eating is what sets this diet plan apart. BodyBuilding.com has a detailed description of this plan.

The Personality Type Diet

Know thyself! This is less plan, more personality quiz — with the added benefit of helping you rethink your eating and exercise habits. Find out if you’re a “Nighttime Nibbler,” “Mindless Muncher,” or one of the five other personality types outlined, and get tools for how to adjust to your lifestyle. This diet hasn’t been studied by the science community, but its emphasis on the individual person’s needs, as well as a high emphasis on healthy fruits and vegetables, means it holds up to common medical knowledge.

2016 Shellshock? These 5 Tiny Pups In Warm Baths Will Make It Better

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The year is almost over and sometimes, it feels like we want to stay in bed all day watching Christmas movies while eating junk food, instead of going to work and being a productive human being. During these times of struggle, we could all do with a pick me up, something to help us take our minds out of that slump and reinvigorate us.

With that in mind, we’ve put together a collection of short videos that you can sneak in at any time during the day, showing puppies during their bathtime because that is maximum cute. If this therapeutic set of videos doesn’t relax you and make you feel better, then your problem is much more serious than you originally thought.

This video really makes us struggle, we don’t know whether we want to be that puppy or if we want to be holding him. He’s enjoying himself so much that his neck might give out at any moment.

This puppy is also super relaxed, enjoying his deep tissue massage provided by that water stream. Don’t worry, we’re also screaming with our mouths shut.

Is the person who’s holding the puppy crying? We feel you.

This video should be nominated for best short film at the Academy Awards but we digress. While the young labs look like they’re a little cold and not having a lot of fun, they look unbelievably cute.

This video has a little bit of everything, some snappy music, a very relaxed puppy and a bonus of fun shower hair-dos.

Happy 2017! Send Us Your New Year’s Eve Hot Messes

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With the possible exception of Halloween, New Year’s Eve is the best holiday to drink and smoke a bit too much, party for too long, and do something that could be considered a true Hot Mess. All the ingredients for a Hot Mess are there: booze, huge parties both public and private, more booze, people looking to forget the year by pairing up with a stranger, music, dancing, even more booze, and a giant ball dropping from the sky at the stroke of midnight.

So do you have a particularly juicy story about a New Year’s Day walk of shame and the events that preceded it? Did you once spend NYE watching your 80-year-old grandmother dance with mostly nude party boys outside of a gay bar blaring “It’s Raining Men”? Did you once black out while partying and wake up in a different city, state, or country? Perhaps you woke up with a dull pain on your back only to discover that you’d gotten a tattoo to celebrate the new year?

Whatever it is, we’d love to hear about it and publish your story! So shoot us an email at taylor@thefreshtoast.com. We will, of course, keep your tale of woe or triumph anonymous (unless you want the world to know who you are!).

And Happy New Year!

15 Photos That Prove The Deconstructed Food Trend Needs To Die In 2017

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A wise man once said:

Deconstructed food has overstayed its welcome. It’s no longer a trend, it’s an embarrassment. It’s become a Band-Aid for lazy cooking and catfish bait by wannabe chefs, who incorrectly assume people just love fancy plating (who doesn’t love a well-placed smear!).

At its best, deconstructed food is an art form; a style of preparation that is playful and different and absolutely delicious, with each component its own complete masterpiece. What deconstructed food is not is all the ingredients of a dish splayed out like an IKEA assembly line with an instructional sheet. In other words: tomato sauce + a shot of vodka + celery + dish of spices does not equal a deconstructed Bloody Mary. It’s mise en place.

The trend has been growing and morphing for years. If you’re not a molecular gastronomist, the food you attempt to make at home is unlikely deconstructed, rather just unfinished. Here are some examples of how far this “trend” has outgrown itself.

Unless this order is from Instacart, this has got to be a joke or something.

Like, seriously. WFT?

This guy gets it.

Isn’t chicken soup already deconstructed chicken? What’s happening here?

Worse.

To be fair, that children’s book also thinks this trend is immature.

You know why nachos were invented? Because it’s way easier to pile all that stuff on top of your chips.

Here, let us help you with that wording. Deconstructed pie = pudding.

See above.

There’s a reason pie crust was invented: to keep the fillings inside.

No way is this even related to pie.

So, creme brulee?

That looks a lot like salad.

I believe they call this “deconstructed bottled wine”

Die, deconstructed food.

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